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[MSE Lawrence]

This is the discussion to link on the back of Martin's blog. Please read the blog first, as this discussion follows it.

Read Martin's 'Bizarre life summaries heard while having a sandwich...' Blog.

Click reply to discuss below.

[Amber Sunshine]

My own favourites -

In London: 'And I dreamt I hit my mother with a lettuce leaf!'

In Spain (English girl speaking to Spanish friend): ´And then she took out a dildo. You know what a dildo is´?´

[philippa35]

The simplest thing is to find out where someone is from before even entertaining the idea of even looking in their direction .

The way I do this is to spot the odd manky types on Brick Lane who are in need of a wash and comb . They are usually guaranteed to have arrived on a bicycle and be living locally and will definately not be going back home to the USA .

The problem is that although there are plenty of them - they are not my cup of tea !

[lilian1977]

There's a brilliant website that has lists and lists of these: http://www.themanwhofellasleep.com/gossip.html

Recent classics include:

"It's absolutely stupid that you can only get two prams on a bus at the same time. This is the 21st century!"

"You know how you tell when Sophie's at a party? When she's not on effing facebook."

"Every shoe shop I went into, I was followed by four Turkish guys shouting at each other."

"Lidl in Paris do real special offers... huge TVs for peanuts. What does our Lidl sell? cheap compost and nylon pants."

I love it!

xx

[mikki-b]

I was sat outside a pub with some friends one evening. A man dressed as a cavalier, walked up and looked through the window then asked 'Do you think I can get a pushchair in there'.

(There had been a re-enactment battle going on earlier in the day apparently, but it was a bit surreal)