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Had Enough
jacquelinenicholas
Posts: 123 Forumite
me and my lovely husband have never had a holiday 2 gether, weve only been married 3years in june. sad though it may seem were both in debt (debts due to attempts at IVF, got a lump in my throat) not only ivf other debts aswell, and have been trying hard all this time to make a diff 2 our debts to which a little we have done. we want a break just us two togther. we have 6 kids between us and 5 of them are teenagers living there own lives always borrowing of us what we dont have. (kids not always appreciative of step parents to bear in mind, leave that 2 your imagination) WELL I HAVE HAD ENOUGH. our money debt companys get,money kids get, local council also get our money and its a bit funny but we work hard and get nowt we just give it all to everyone else. so im sorry all debt agencies, kids, council, u may complain and condemn me and charge us for it but we need a break and only us live our life. so im going to enjoy myself and have a browse at last minute holiday deals. 
WHAT DO u think or is it just bravado cod ive had 3 glasses of wine.
WHAT DO u think or is it just bravado cod ive had 3 glasses of wine.
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Comments
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Hi jacqueline!
Sorry to hear about your problems! Maybe if you posted a SOA we might be able to help you cut back on your expenditure!
Have a look at this thread for a guide! 0 -
Hi Jacqueline. We all get to the point where we have had enough! and 3 glasses of wine will lead you to a point where it all seems endless or at least it will seem that way!
Iv'e got step children and it is hard to keep things balanced ... but I totally agree that you must have some 'You time' together. My OH and I get to a point about every 2 years where we need a week away on our own and even though we are working hard to pay off our debts we will be finding a cheap deal in July as we need something to look forward to ... for us!! We feel that if we are careful in every other area to pay off what we owe we can 'earn' a break.
It won't be expensive and we will save up for it. We won't spend too much as we just want to lie on a beach together and talk without distraction or children! Just be 'together'!
So plan it, put the money by for it and enjoy it if that's what you want.
Lewby xx** Official DFW Nerd Club Member 009**
Total Debt 01/02/11 [STRIKE] £64,912 [/STRIKE] 01/04/16 [STRIKE]£32,700[/STRIKE] 01/01/19 £0 :jNSD's for Feb 01/15 GC £0 / £3000 -
Hiya Jaqueline....
Thinking of you hon....not got to the 'kids' stage yet but I know if I find out I can't......I'll be going down the same route...(if I've taken these hormones to stop me having kids all these years and find out they were not needed in the first place I'll go bloody mad! I'd be 4 stone lighter for a start!!lol!)
My sister is kind of in a similar boat....only got her own kids but they are causing worry enough...........you would think that having an accountant for a mother......and always one to watch her money..........that this would have passed on to the kids..........NO SUCH LUCK!!!!!!!!!!
Offered credit and its like WAHEYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY LETS SPEND!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Oh !!!! I actually have to pay this back???????? Muuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuummmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm????? :rolleyes:0 -
Please don't give up. Use your anger/deflation as an energy source for rethinking some of your problems. Write down and analyse your financial position, target areas where you can make a difference, maybe reevaluate your relationship with step children.Happy chappy0
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If you dont have any assets why dont you go bankrupt?0
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Not good advice.
If you minimise the debt interest rates, rationalise what you give to the children etc then I hope that you can start to divert more money to yourself.
Going on holiday won't solve any of the longer term problems.Happy chappy0 -
I agree with what someone else said higher up in this thread - why not sit down and do a realistic budget showing your income and all your expenditure, including all your debts, money you give to the children etc. If you post it here we might be able to give some advice, but even if you don't want to do that, it is worth going through the process of working it out and writing it down so that you can sit down with your husband and make decisions on what you want to do now and in the future.0
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As long as you keep giving kids money, they will always be asking for it. I have 5 kids, the eldest 3 are now supposedly supporting themselves. My first child is irresponsible and lazy, they live hand to mouth and dont beleive in birth control (or thats how it seems). My second child is a good hard working girl but has missed oportunities to better herself and is stuck at a meagre wage. Number three child has a very good job, spends truckloads on herself and is very materialistic, but whinges at the end of the month she has run out of cash and can she borrow some? Number 4 is another lazy sod, where the other kids had paper rounds at his age, his paper round lasted 3 weeks and he quit.we have 6 kids between us and 5 of them are teenagers living there own lives always borrowing of us what we dont have.
Now me and MrJudi are in our 40s, we have been paying out for children for over 25 years, now we look after ourselves. Our money isnt the communial pot anymore and if they cant take responsibility for their own financial situation, then thats tough. We do struggle with the subject though especially with the 16 year old whos friends have loads of pocket money from parents. Cutting down at christmas and birthdays is tough but when grandchildren come along, and partners creep in. It works out very expensive.
I think as parents, we need to toughen up a bit. Its time for you now, not that you dont love the kids, but you cant be carrying them for the rest of your lives - that wouldnt be fair but both you and your husband need to be united in this or it will look like favouritism.
Good luck, and the money you would normally bail the kids out with can go towards a special time for you both.This is a system account and does not represent a real person. To contact the Forum Team email forumteam@moneysavingexpert.com0 -
Yes, my thoughts too. You don't have to stop altogether, just explain to them that there's a monthly budget and they have to plan around it, rather than you just being some endless money supply.Happy chappy0
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