Poor verbal communication skills, crap at interviews, and seeking work...

Hello everyone,

Firstly I apologise for the long post.

I am 28 and have never been employed. I am a shy and quiet individual and can be somewhat anxious in social situations. This could be Asperger Syndrome, it could be Social Anxiety Disorder – who knows?! I have seen Psychiatrists, Psychologists, etc and no help from that angle. In fact I was misdiagnosed as Schizophrenic based purely on the presence of what is known as negative symptoms such as apathy, lack of emotion, poor or nonexistant social functioning – combined with the fact my mother and her father both had Schizophrenia. (For those interested “positive” symptoms are hallucinations, delusions and so on). So that didn't exactly help matters. It's just the way I am and always have been. If I could wave a magic wand and change me, then I would. I suspect if I got a job it is something that may improve over the years.

I left school without any GCSE's and then applied for various jobs. But having no GCSE's and no references I got very little interest - one interview, and a thick pile of rejection letters was all I had to show for it. I did some NVQ training courses but never completed any. The first one ended because I could not find a work placement – in my opinion the stumbling block was the interviews. I again applied for jobs and collected a fresh pile of rejection letters.

Eventually I went to college and picked up some GCSE's and A levels. I then went on to University leaving with a first class honours degree. I spent a year applying for jobs – both jobs corresponding with my qualification (such as research assistant posts) for which I had a few interviews – and also jobs with no requirement for qualifications, such as supermarket type jobs. I applied for jobs across a very broad geographical area and was prepared to move if offered a job. A year on with no success I felt I had to do something. I did some voluntary work – working on a website for a charitable organisation, which ended because the organisation unexpectedly shut down. I decided to do a Masters which I passed with merit. My thought at the time was that perhaps in the jobs I had interviewed for before, having the masters might have given me the edge against other applicants. I also hoped it may help with the shyness and anxiety, but it didn't – just like my 3 years doing the undergraduate course didn't. All the time at college and two different universities and I have only made one “friend”, which I hope expresses how profoundly my difficulties interacting with people affects me. So here I am now. Some qualifications, with no job to show for it, and loaded down with a career development loan.

What next?

For general jobs such as supermarket ones, picking/packing etc, I have either been unemployed forever (12 years) and have no references, or if I mention my qualifications I am overqualified. For jobs commensurate with my qualifications, ALL specify a requirement for good verbal communication skills. Even if the job is a desk-based one with little interaction with others. This is something I just do not have - and will be plain as anything in an interview. Even if there was a job which did not list this as a requirement – I would stumble at the interview stage for this reason – if not because they thought it made me unsuitable for the post, then because I did not manage to describe my abilities well enough in the interview, or answer the questions well. Plus whatever way you look at it, no-one really likes a shy person. Especially an interviewer who is no doubt there because they have particularly good communication and social skills. Plus they obviously want to feel the person sat opposite them is someone they'd feel comfortable working with.

I'm not expecting a job to be handed to me on a silver platter. I am putting in effort. I am looking for and applying for jobs. When I go to interviews I am wearing an ironed suit along with an ironed white shirt and blue silk tie. Freshly polished shoes. Hair cut, freshly shaved, clean etc. I spend plenty of time reading things about the post, the job description, the organisation and go to the effort of looking for as much information relevant as possible. I consider the questions I may be asked and prepare answers for those. I have been to the University careers department and asked for help regarding interviews – mentioning my difficulties, but they provided no useful help (let me watch a DVD which showed a bad and a good interviewee, and gave me a leaflet – both telling me everything I already knew). Putting Asperger Syndrome on the application form in the disability sections does not help either. If I put in I was in a wheel chair then they'd provide a ramp and suitable desk and so on.

I could do voluntary work – but this would not do little to help what is primarily preventing me getting a job. Although it would give me a reference other than a University one and show that I am not the sort of person who does nothing. I guess I was just unlucky with the one that closed down unexpectedly. That's all I can think of really.

Does anyone have any useful advice?

Thanks very much in advance.