[zincoxide]

Just had another one!!

Me: Hello
Debitas: Can I speak to Mr X
Me: You'll have to speak up, I lost my hearing aid
Debitas: (shouting) Can I speak to Mr X
Me: Speaking - how can I help you
Debitas: This is Mr Y from Debitas
Me: Sorry - speak up
Debitas: (shouting) This is Mr Y from Debitas, I need you to pass some security questions
Me: That's nice
Debitas: Can you confirm your date of birth and post code?
Me: Sorry - speak up boy!
Debitas: Can you confirm your date of birth and post code?
Me: I don't really want to
Debitas: If it makes you feel any better, these details are available to the public on the electoral role
Me: Great! Why don't you confirm my details there and call me back!!
Debitas: How is that confirming your identity?
Me: Speak up
Debitas: (shouting) How is that confirming your identity
Me: I don't need to confirm my identity - I know who I am
Debitas: Right Mr X, I assume you know what this is about, have you received our letters?
Me: Oh hang on, I've just found my hearing aid
Debitas: You are not helping yourself and you'll learn this in the future
Me: Oh dear - are you gonna send the boys around?
Debitas: A bailiff may be sent around
Me: Oh I hope he's the rugby type - does he have a firm bum?
Debitas: Keep your mobile on Mr X (hangs up)