It's STILL tough and not getting better - so how are we coping?

BigMummaF · 21 July 2010 at 10:47PM

babyboysmommy wrote: »

....DS (age 4).....starts school in September so I'm being hit by school uniform costs, just 1 jumper (has to be official school one) was £16.50! He has to wear shirt & tie which instantly makes life more expensive let alone all the things he has to have....

CALLING ALL PARENTS OF UNDER SENIOR SCHOOL AGED CHILDREN! I strongly urge you to check the LAW on the absolute necessity of official uniform for children below Yr 7. I suggest you visit your local library & ask to read the latest edition of The Children's Act, as it used to be a voluntary requirement when my lot were at school & I bought grey & black bottom bits, plain white polo shirts & navy sweatshirts [so still school colours] from W00lies & QS.
You will get the same old chestnut of your child "being the only one without proper uniform" but if you go in armed with the 'in Section 2, paragraph 14, sub-section b it says...'; providing the clothing is suitable, practical & easy for the child to change themselves, there is very little the school can do about it.

Actually I was talking to my lot just this week about school-days; my biggest regret was in being ignorant of The Law at the time or I would have educated the youngest two at home

The eldest of the trio was extremely fortunate to be offered a place at a wonderful school where emphasis was very much on what the kids could do as opposed to chastising for what they couldn't but the entrance criteria changed & the youngest was doomed to flounder in the main stream. Then at 14 I found the ruling that says it is the education that is important & it doesn't mean attending a specific building, but it came too late to help 'my baby' overcome crippling school phobia. As such, the whole school thing has left deep psychological scars & all manner of other issues--all because some numpty in a suit didn't give a fig about my child's future.

Sorry

..must be a day for rants...

parsonswife8 wrote: »

....went away for a week recently and left upside down bottles of water in all our veg. Got back and nothing had died and there had only been a light shower during that time and temps had been over 30 degrees c.
Left the herb pots in a half sink full of cold water so they could suck up the water....

A very down-to-earth lady on the telly said to put one end of an old towel into a washing up bowl of water & stand your pot plants on the other--presumably on the path or something, in the shade. Or for smaller quantities of pots, cut strips similar to a bandage, put one end into the bowl, gently lift out the plant & tuck the other end down into bottom of pot then put the plant back into the pot...hope that makes sense, but it was on Monday or Tuesday's 5pm show on ch4

Tell you what's fun with play dough--have some coloured reddy-pink & some white, then make a set of false teeth :rotfl:Even tiddlies like making them! And I'm desperately trying to recall some rhymes...
2-ball, to the tune of Drunken Sailor.
1..2..Oopsy-daisy. 3..4..Oopsy-daisy. 5..6..Oopsy-daisy. 7 up & drop the ball.
Used to throw the ball up in the air on the 'oopsy' & let it bounce off the wall to the ground & catch it on 'drop the ball'. Then for other verses there was unders, dropsy & bouncy, when you bounced the ball off the ground, onto the wall & caught it, all while keeping the rhythm going

Anyone got some balls? I really fancy having a go now!

EstherH · 21 July 2010 at 10:53PM

lilmisskitkat wrote: »

Kidcat - Thank you for the playdough recipe, i'll be trying that on a rainy a fternoon in the school hols!

Thank you for the welcomes, i wasn't sure if it'd be ok for me to post on here, like i said we haven't felt the pinch as much as some and DH's job is relativley safe but i didn't want people to think i was bragging or being smug

Tomorrow night DD is going to bake some chocolate chip cookies and put them in nice paper party bags (pretty polka dot ones in sale at Tesco, got them for DS's birthday, like a Millie's cookie bag) and make cards for her teacher and teaching assistant - you dont think this is cheap do you? I just thought that it'd be nice to receive something DD had done herself and they must get so many boxes of chocs etc and i haven't got the money to be buying anything fancy (a lot of mums turn it into a competition over who can get the best teacher present lol :rotfl:)

Kate xx

Think it's a lovely idea, not cheap at all. I'm sure they'll appreciate the effort.

penelopedee_2 · 21 July 2010 at 10:55PM

I was brought up to believe (by those lucky parents who are getting good company pensions) that rent money is dead money.

But I actually believe that's fine if you are rolling in it and the majority of us are not. We have a mortgaged house. I have to work two jobs to pay it off. I am responsible for all of our house repairs and maintenance and i know if I loose my job it all goes. That is so harsh and such a heavy weight to carry cos I love my little family so much.

Quite often now I long to rent. I would get more help benefits wise if it all goes wrong. I would be able to pass the repairs etc onto somebody else.

I read an article in a magazine about what would you do if you had a month left to live. Even in that situation I'm stuffed as I would have to run round making wills, worry about life assurance to protect the boys etc etc.

Sorry for the rant, but I do feel quite strongly about this. It breaks my heart seeing my younger relatives and friends being made to feel bad about not being able to afford a mortgage, or even worse getting themselves into a real nasty financial mess trying to get one.

BigMummaF · 21 July 2010 at 10:56PM

Just remembered why I was going to post :doh:..MrT has some branded jars of dip stuff that you use with crisps & things [think mexican triangles

] It was still a tad more expensive than the shop's own, but I thought I'd get a set of 2-4-£2 & put them by for that C thing at the end of December, so I've started my food stash

Charis · 21 July 2010 at 11:01PM

ceridwen wrote: »

Well - personally - I probably tell myself regularly "Thank goodness I had the sense to buy when I had the chance".. I've never yet come across anyone who says "I wish I hadnt bought a place" - but I HAVE come across several people who say "I wish I'd never let go of owning my own place when I had it" or "I wish I hadnt passed up that good opportunity I had to buy my own place".

There is no security in rented accommodation - not in the private rented sector anyway. I would hate to be at the "mercy" of landlords...worrying whether they might put the rent up or sell the house over my head (not that I could afford house rental - or even flat rental - on my salary anyway in the area I live in......).

I have to agree with Ceridwen on all these points. I'll be 60 next month and am grateful that we went without the luxury lifestyle many people take for granted and put everything we had into buying our own home.
If we hadn't, maybe I would be left facing retirement with the cost of rent hanging over me. Maybe I could get help towards it, but with current cutbacks who knows how long that will be possible? As a widow I would probably be told I could only have enough to live in a one bedroomed flat and I might have little choice when it came to the area I would end up living in. I do have the expense of maintaining the property and have to have a handyman for some of the jobs but it still doesn't cost anything like it would cost to rent a place like this.
If the day ever arrives when I need nursing care, at least I'll have some say where I go. If not, maybe my kids will have enough for a deposit on a place of their own, because with the kind of rents they are paying there's no way they'll ever save a large enough downpayment otherwise.

Charis

ginnyknit · 21 July 2010 at 11:08PM

ceridwen wrote: »

Thereby hangs a question (careful ceridwen - its not after the Watershed time yet.....:rotfl:) - ie is there any difference in this after women have gone through the menopause? After all - there has been a rather large change on the hormone front for a woman once shes "past her prime" or just "coming into her prime" in fact..:D

You mean when they are 'the sexy side of 50 (Thats me!) as someone called it on here recently :T:T:T

365days · 21 July 2010 at 11:14PM

ceridwen wrote: »

Well - personally - I probably tell myself regularly "Thank goodness I had the sense to buy when I had the chance".. I've never yet come across anyone who says "I wish I hadnt bought a place" - but I HAVE come across several people who say "I wish I'd never let go of owning my own place when I had it" or "I wish I hadnt passed up that good opportunity I had to buy my own place".

There is no security in rented accommodation - not in the private rented sector anyway. I would hate to be at the "mercy" of landlords...worrying whether they might put the rent up or sell the house over my head (not that I could afford house rental - or even flat rental - on my salary anyway in the area I live in......).

Re the State would help with the rent because of being a single mother - errr...I do have to state at the outset that I'm not a believer in asking for State help if it can be avoided personally. Right - having said that - I don't personally think its wise to make oneself dependant on State help anyway - because it's all too likely to be cut in the Age of Austerity a lot of the World is now entering (including Britain).

If you do "get off the property ladder" now - then how are you to retire later in life? (as you would still need a high enough income to be able to pay rent - as well as that necessary for bills/living on). The thought of being (or - to be more accurate - trying to become) a pensioner and still having to pay rent would turn my hair grey with worry (if it wasnt grey already).

Agree with all the above. I know in my heart of hearts that I should hang on in there for a few more years. When DS is a little older I can go back to earning a decent salary and move. Thankyou for taking the time to say it how you see it.

floss2 · 21 July 2010 at 11:14PM

greengoblin wrote: »

...... paying back my car insurance. (It's so much cheaper to buy it all in one go but cause i'm still quite young its still a bomb and I never have £600 lying around. My Nan pays it in one go for me and I pay her back each month as much as I can spare, usually £100-£200).

Why not save towards next year's when you've paid off this years? Even £50 a month is less than you would be paying pay your nan back & you've got £600 then....

Re the rental / homeowner debate - my parents had sold a house to move across the country with dad's job, they rented for 30 years (we hande the keys back after mum died 30 years to the day after moving in) from a housing association. They never had a problem with it being "dead money" despite never being eligible for Housing Benefit even when mum was widowed and terminally ill - it was a brand new 4-bed detached house big enough for 4 kids and over the 30 years it had a new roof, new gas fire, 2 new bathroom suites with showers & 2 new kitchens (10-15 year refurbishment cycle), 2 new boilers, double glazing, cavity wall & loft insulation, outside & garage painted every 3 years, new soffits fascias & cladding. They could never have kept that house in such good repair had they bought it when they had the opportunity.

OH and I often discuss moving - we would happily rent rather than buy & start a new mortgage in our late 40's - when this mortgage is paid, we will need to save for the future that looks bleaker every time Mr Cameron opens his mouth and I don't want to be still paying a mortgage when I retire (supposedly at 66 - but I'm sure it will have changed by the time I get there!)

365days · 21 July 2010 at 11:18PM

littleowl wrote: »

I am a pensioner - and I do have grey hair! I have moved around this country and 'owned' a total of 10 different houses. But in reality - you don't 'own' do you if you have a mortgage? You are renting from a building society or bank and your payments are at the whim of interest rate fluctuations/lenders' decisions. I remember well the 80s when mortgage rates went to a sky high 15% and many people were in negative equity. Where is the security in that? Interest rates will rise in the next few years - they have to - and those living to the max. on low rates are going to be in a difficult situation.
All I am saying is that the prevailing mood that 'owning' a property is the desirable thing to do is open to question. The house owning mantra should be at least questionable.

I agree here too.
My parents were the first generation to 'own' property in the family. My mum now does own her house-no mortgage. I suppose it's weighing up how close you are to the line with a mortgage. if it is less than rent for a comparable property it is the way forward. if it's crippling you and renting is cheaper then renting is the way to go.

penelopedee_2 · 21 July 2010 at 11:19PM

There are a lot of people on this forum that are not living a luxuary lifestyle just to pay off their mortgage and keep their heads above water. Its not the fact of paying off a large sum each month to the bank (I know darn well its loads more percentage wise than my parents and both my inlaws had to fork out). My parents (on mass!) all say they feel for us as the proportion of house vs bills payments out of our wages have got completely out of hand.

I really want the security of my own home in retirement and as a family team we are all happy to work towards that, but somewhere along the line I have to ask if it is worth it.

Today I've been looking at the cost of school shirts for DS. He's a teenager so needsa few to swap round to keep them fresh. Now-a-days they have to be specific nylon polo shirts with their logo on. Cost a bomb, wash like rubbish. I am ashamed at the colour they go after a few washes.

Take me back to previous years when white cotton shirts were required, could be boiled washed and ironed nicely. (Oh and the mortgage at time allowed for a week in the summer as well).

Sorry peoples, I'm ranting again.

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It's STILL tough and not getting better - so how are we coping?

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