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  • FIRST POST
    Lalala
    I keep falling off the wagon, how do you stop the cycle?
    • #1
    • 2nd May 08, 8:25 AM
    I keep falling off the wagon, how do you stop the cycle? 2nd May 08 at 8:25 AM
    I have lightbulb moments with alarming regularity. At least once a year. And although I'm careful for a while and manage to pay off a bit, I find myself back to my old spending habits with my head in the sand a few months later. My debt is going down, just not as quickly as it could because I'm such an ostrich. I pay a bit of debt off, add a bit more on, and it just goes on. I feel really disppointed in myself whenever I get the LBM and know that the only reason I'm in this situation is because of me and my lack of staying power.

    For those of you who have fallen off the wagon and then managed to climb back on and stay there, how did you do it?

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    Last edited by Former MSE Wendy; 06-05-2008 at 7:24 PM.
    ***Trying hard to be proud of dealing with my debts. Honestly? Still a bit embarrassed***
    Today I am mostly: Going to do Lidl shop/ procrastinating/ enjoying the sun Total debt at highest £26232.31 (July 07) DFW Nerd no. 598
Page 1
  • hypno06
    • #2
    • 2nd May 08, 8:27 AM
    • #2
    • 2nd May 08, 8:27 AM
    My answer is simple - I keep posting here.

    It is the sole reason, I am sure, that I can keep more or less in control of things.

    There are times when my debt increases rather than decreases, which shows that I am only human, but overall my debt is coming down and that is the main thing.

    Post a bit more, get involved in the challenges, and you will find your "blips" are less destructive!
    Successful women can still have their feet on the ground. They just wear better shoes. (Maud Van de Venne)
    Life begins at the end of your comfort zone (Neale Donald Walsch)
  • Lalala
    • #3
    • 2nd May 08, 8:41 AM
    • #3
    • 2nd May 08, 8:41 AM
    Thanks Hypno. When I looked at the "last time you logged in" bit I saw that I'd last been here on 24/09/07- coincidentally the last time I paid any additional off my debt was that very day. (24th is pay day for me)

    Think I'll be seeing a lot more of you guys over the next couple of years...
    ***Trying hard to be proud of dealing with my debts. Honestly? Still a bit embarrassed***
    Today I am mostly: Going to do Lidl shop/ procrastinating/ enjoying the sun Total debt at highest £26232.31 (July 07) DFW Nerd no. 598
    • sparky0107
    • By sparky0107 2nd May 08, 10:22 AM
    • 3,487 Posts
    • 21,429 Thanks
    sparky0107
    • #4
    • 2nd May 08, 10:22 AM
    • #4
    • 2nd May 08, 10:22 AM
    Thanks Hypno. When I looked at the "last time you logged in" bit I saw that I'd last been here on 24/09/07- coincidentally the last time I paid any additional off my debt was that very day. (24th is pay day for me)

    Think I'll be seeing a lot more of you guys over the next couple of years...
    Originally posted by Lalala
    Hi lalala,
    Welcome back, you should definitely try some of the challenges on here, also try daily clicks I know it's not fast money, but it's nice to see it growing overthe weeks, if you pm Eager Learner, she will send you her excellent guide for daily clicks. Also don't worry, we all have "blips" on our way to being debt free. Keep posting and you'll find this site gets very addictive, it takes over, so you can't go spending lol

    Have you also tried re-doing your SOA to see if the good people on here can give you some pointers for your DFW journey?

    Good luck kid & don't stay away for so long next time (this is said in a schoolteacher type voice)
    Sparky0107 - Sealed pot challenge member #002. Total for SPC3 £1,030.57 Total For SPC 4 £2247.00 Total for SPC 5 £2574.62 Total for SPC 6 £4552.91
    LC2 & Jakes-Mum are off their heads :rotfl
    DEBT FREE AS OF 20/01/2012
    • immoral_angeluk
    • By immoral_angeluk 2nd May 08, 10:23 AM
    • 23,754 Posts
    • 22,635 Thanks
    immoral_angeluk
    • #5
    • 2nd May 08, 10:23 AM
    • #5
    • 2nd May 08, 10:23 AM
    Noone can do this on their own. I've always had the support of everyone on here to fall back on. It doesn't stop you falling off the wagon completely.. but it makes it less likely to be a permanent injury!
    Total 'Failed Business' Debt £29,043
    Que sera, sera. <3
  • silverelephant
    • #6
    • 7th May 08, 8:40 AM
    • #6
    • 7th May 08, 8:40 AM
    Lalala - I could almost have written that post myself! When things are going well I find it's so easy to "forget" about my moneysaving ways and go back to the old habits, then we get a tight week or month and its back to budgets and doing lists for groceries and its amazing the difference it makes. My hubby and I have now given ourselves an aim - to sell up and emigrate to Australia within 2 years if that doesn't help keep us on track, I don't know what will! My advice to you would be to set yourself little goals, write them all down, pin them up somewhere obvious so you see them everyday but most importantly don't give up. If you fall off the wagon, just get back on as soon as you can

    I have lightbulb moments with alarming regularity. At least once a year. And although I'm careful for a while and manage to pay off a bit, I find myself back to my old spending habits with my head in the sand a few months later. My debt is going down, just not as quickly as it could because I'm such an ostrich. I pay a bit of debt off, add a bit more on, and it just goes on. I feel really disppointed in myself whenever I get the LBM and know that the only reason I'm in this situation is because of me and my lack of staying power.

    For those of you who have fallen off the wagon and then managed to climb back on and stay there, how did you do it?

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    Originally posted by Lalala
    Official DFW Nerd Club - Member no. 014
    Lightbulb Moment 12 December 05
    They may take our lives but they'll never take our FREEDOM!!
  • GirlRacer
    • #7
    • 7th May 08, 8:46 AM
    • #7
    • 7th May 08, 8:46 AM
    I totally agree with IA and Hypno. The guys on here keep you on the straight and narrow and quite often when I feel like a spending spree I log on here and manage to talk myself out of it with the help of everyone.

    You need constant support to succeed here because it's so easy to fall back into bad spending habits.
  • Broken hearted
    • #8
    • 7th May 08, 8:48 AM
    • #8
    • 7th May 08, 8:48 AM
    Put your sebt in your sig then everyone can see it, amazing how motivating the shame can be.
    Barclaycard 3800

    Nothing to do but hibernate till spring






    • skint_spice
    • By skint_spice 7th May 08, 8:58 AM
    • 11,220 Posts
    • 23,582 Thanks
    skint_spice
    • #9
    • 7th May 08, 8:58 AM
    • #9
    • 7th May 08, 8:58 AM
    Hi Lala, I'm here ALL the time so the urge to spend isn't usually as strong now and when it is I just try to focus on the end goal of being debt free. Weirdly enough I've been more tempted recently when it's only a few months away then I was a year ago - I think part of me thinks that it's manageable now so why not. I'm resisting though...for now!
    £5000 by December 2018 £721/5000
    • jak
    • By jak 7th May 08, 9:20 AM
    • 1,591 Posts
    • 3,419 Thanks
    jak
    I did the same thing last year. We were trying to pay for our wedding and even tho I had 2 jobs and my dh worked full time, I spent any extra money on furniture for the house! It was so stupid! I could be debt free by now if i'd sorted myself out sooner! However, now we are having a baby and that has been my biggest motivator! I can't imagine a life for my child where we rent forever and we are perpetually skint! That's such a horrid thought, it scares me to death!
    Now I come on here ALL THE TIME! It helps loads...AND it makes me think about every aspect of my life in terms of 'can I afford it?' 'do I really need it or just WANT it?'
    I also have a great budget which icludes spends fir socialising etc. so it doesn't feel like we are cutting back all that much really.
    Good luck and use this site for the resource it is...
    Newly disabled and finding life tough! Please be gentle with me xx
  • falady
    Hi Lalala,

    I could have said exactly the same thing as you - I have just had 'another' LBM and really need to sort myself out nowe. There's so many things I want to do and i've got no chance if i don't stick with it and get rid of this debt.

    Maybe we should start a 'staying on the wagon' club!

    Ali x
    Not Buying It 2015
  • EmptyPurse
    I'm exactly the same too. On another thread ('I can't stop spending) someone suggested that part of the problem might be because I haven't actually hit crisis point yet. My debts are a problem but I can afford the monthly repayments and am actually overpaying in one instance. So, although I have LBMs on a regular basis, deep down I don't actually see it as a really serious problem and so haven't got the motivation to keep clearing those debts.

    The real question for those of us who haven't actually hit rock-bottom crisis point yet is how to find the motivation to keep clearing those debts once the initial LBM has worn off. I haven't found the solution yet - answers on a postcard, please!!!
    • Dinah93
    • By Dinah93 7th May 08, 3:59 PM
    • 11,302 Posts
    • 45,572 Thanks
    Dinah93
    Hey everyone I've been reading with interest, I tend give myself more leeway than I would like quite often, as I earn a decent salary (£1.6k take home pay per month) and sometimes the figures just don't quite seem real to me. My LBM was in January when I realised I had accidentally spent over £4k in the sales on new furniture and clothes and I'm not quite sure what else! That really kicked me into gear, and I'm now paying it off. This month has been a real kick up the bum for me though, as my partner left his job (basically his boss refused to pay my OH until he did the boss's university coursework for him, and we discovered OH in fact wasn't registered as working there so not paying tax or NI, yet his wages were the equivelent of £3.22 an hour!) so we're living off my salary, which is a huge struggle (I know, shouldn't be struggling on this sort of salary and so many people have much more right to be in trouble) but we ARE just about managing to pay all the bills, which shows me I actually am still misplacing £300 a month which I could be using on the debt once himself gets a new job. Also knowing I could cover this sort of situation quite comfortably without the £375 minimum payments (and usually abother £175-£400 on top of this) I'm making is really spurring me on to clear the debt, as you never know what will happen in the future.

    Finally what I do other months when I have cash to spare (meaning those months I don't have to go down to the shop at 8.50pm 3 days in a row trying to get reduced price 10p bread and margerine!) is I work out the budget for the month and on payday all the money that isnt accounted for by food.rent/bills/scheduled repayments etc I throw straight at the current debt I'm working on. I know some people like to keep a 'treats' pot or an emergency fund, but I would rather my money was paying off my debt than sat earning negligable interest and tempting me! If an emergency does happen then that's what the credit card is for and I will endevour to pay it off. If I want to treat myself I only have to look at the bright red credit card and I put it away again now, as I know what a toll past spending is placing on my current lifestyle!
    Debt January 1st 2018 £65,773.65
    Debt November 1st 2018 £55,564.51
    £10,209.14/15.52% paid off
    Met NIM 23/06/2008
  • ltm07
    Hi,interesting thread this one. A few months ago we were like a bull at a gate trying to smash our debts,but we have slowed down a little. I was working 60 hours a week & if I had carried on doing that I would probably have gone off with stress by now. Our plan is probably not very DFW,but if it puts our DF date back a while so be it,as long as the debt is going down then we know we will get there eventually. We will try & follow the snowball calculator the best we can,but may not pay as much into it as we should. We finish paying a loan in July,so will be £97 a month better off. Instead of paying the £97 towards our next debts IYKWIM, we will pay half towards our debts & put half towards holidays,emergencies etc. Any extra cash we earn will go towards our debts but we want to start living & stop relying on overtime. Things have happened this year that have put things into perspective, we have a friend who has cancer & it's made us realise that no amount of money is as important as your health. Good luck,you, us & all the other good people will get there sooner or later!
    Last edited by ltm07; 07-05-2008 at 5:10 PM. Reason: missed the 'good' out in front of people!
    Debt at LBM(July 1st 07)-£35,053.92 Debt on 1st Anniversary of LBM(July 1st 08)-£33,170.11 (31st January 09)-£32,318.73Paid off so far £2,735.19(7.8%) Average paid off p.m. £143.95 L/H supporter 115 DFD target February 2018 DFD March 2028. PAD(Started 28/12/08) £253.77 £10 a day Feb £110/£280 WEDDING Paid off £1,585.96 Saved Up £925.40
  • xtessx
    Hi Lalala,

    Also have a look at the spendaholics anonymous thread. You may be another one of us! I have found a great deal of support there.

    Good luck!

    Tess xx
    Total debt at May 08 - £28,934.53
    Proud to be dealing with my debts!
    Spendaholics Anonymous No 53 RED PEN MEMBER # 18 July grocery challenge £0/£280
  • Jacks xxx
    I agree with everyone else - posting here is pretty key.

    However I also find that it's cyclical with me - my lightbulb hasn't dimmed, but I have regular occasions when I need some things I don't need - if you see what I mean!

    - a night out dancing / a meal I didn't cook / a new lippie / a bar of 70% chocolate / a dvd / whatever.

    I can keep up DFW-ness most of the time but if TOTM or feeling deprived & over worked is making me stroppy then I give myself permission to splurge without feeling too bad about it.

    Sometimes knowing that "I can if I want to" is enough to chill me out, and I'll decide to save the treat for when I'm feel more desperate!

    Hubby keeps a £20 stashed for emergency time of the month treats cos for some reason I seem to become ever so slightly less rational then.

    I have a "DO YOU NEED IT MORE THAN YOU NEED TO BE DEBT FREE" banner over the computer because internet shopping is a big temptation of mine

    and I have a Progress Made versus Long Way To Go Word document that I can look at which usually sobers me up. (Big time!)

    But despite having treats whenever I get grumpy we're still making epic progress.

    The savings we've made on almost all the household expenses plus all the extra work we do allows us to pay off large amounts every month whilst still having some treats.

    We've been having Porridge (59p/kg) and Value Branflakes (95p/ kg) for breakfast for 8 months so this month the kids have requested branded cereal at £4.50/ kg - and the previous months savings have made that Ok.

    (Treating my kids is another weakness of mine!)

    Love Jacks xxx



    Not everything that can be counted counts, and not everything that counts can be counted. Einstein
    • Deep In Debt
    • By Deep In Debt 7th May 08, 7:08 PM
    • 8,237 Posts
    • 12,996 Thanks
    Deep In Debt
    This is a great thread. I'm on my own and have found it really hard to keep motivated. I had my lbm in January and since then I've been seeing my debts reducing which is enough to keep me going. I work full time (average pay) and have taken on a couple of part time jobs too. One includes my love of animals and the great outdoors - dog walking - and I'm meeting people at the same time which keeps me away from the shops and gets me out in the fresh air and keeps me fit at the same time. I've changed my shopping habits - now shop in Lidl instead of Waitrose or Tesco.

    At my lbm, I thought that I was never going to clear my debts but 5 months later my debts have reduced. I had debts of nearly 28K in January and I'm now down to 24k. I can see my debts going down which keeps me motivated. It's slow for me but at least now I've got my head out of the sand and I'm enjoying the non-spending things that I have discovered!

    Good luck to all.
  • ltm07
    This is a great thread. I'm on my own and have found it really hard to keep motivated. I had my lbm in January and since then I've been seeing my debts reducing which is enough to keep me going. I work full time (average pay) and have taken on a couple of part time jobs too. One includes my love of animals and the great outdoors - dog walking - and I'm meeting people at the same time which keeps me away from the shops and gets me out in the fresh air and keeps me fit at the same time. I've changed my shopping habits - now shop in Lidl instead of Waitrose or Tesco.

    At my lbm, I thought that I was never going to clear my debts but 5 months later my debts have reduced. I had debts of nearly 28K in January and I'm now down to 24k. I can see my debts going down which keeps me motivated. It's slow for me but at least now I've got my head out of the sand and I'm enjoying the non-spending things that I have discovered!

    Good luck to all.
    Originally posted by Deep In Debt
    Good for you D.I.D. we also have swapped our regular shop from Sainsburys to Aldi & the savings we make there are amazing. Alot of the changes that we have made on the DFW journey have been quite painless, it just means finding cheaper alternatives to the way we were living life before. This site & forum is real Godsend to keeping us focussed. As I said in my previous post we are taking things slowly,but know exactly what we spend each day & although things that we don't expect will crop up from time to time,we are going forwards,not backwards in our quest to be DF. All the best!!
    Debt at LBM(July 1st 07)-£35,053.92 Debt on 1st Anniversary of LBM(July 1st 08)-£33,170.11 (31st January 09)-£32,318.73Paid off so far £2,735.19(7.8%) Average paid off p.m. £143.95 L/H supporter 115 DFD target February 2018 DFD March 2028. PAD(Started 28/12/08) £253.77 £10 a day Feb £110/£280 WEDDING Paid off £1,585.96 Saved Up £925.40
    • Deep In Debt
    • By Deep In Debt 7th May 08, 7:39 PM
    • 8,237 Posts
    • 12,996 Thanks
    Deep In Debt
    Good for you D.I.D. we also have swapped our regular shop from Sainsburys to Aldi & the savings we make there are amazing. Alot of the changes that we have made on the DFW journey have been quite painless, it just means finding cheaper alternatives to the way we were living life before. This site & forum is real Godsend to keeping us focussed. As I said in my previous post we are taking things slowly,but know exactly what we spend each day & although things that we don't expect will crop up from time to time,we are going forwards,not backwards in our quest to be DF. All the best!!
    Originally posted by ltm07

    Thanks lbm, I'm making mega savings by shopping in Lidl and I walk there (with the dogs and have to carry the bag back!) so save on petrol too. Like you, I've made savings and not really noticed the difference in my lifestyle,. In fact, I'm getting out more, not spending money and meeting people at the same time.

    I'm fairly new to all this but knew that my lifestyle had to change when OH left, tbh, I'm enjoying life more now than I have for a long time. Things for me are going slowly too and I have good months and bad months but seeing my debts reduce even if it is by a small amount, is enough to keep me motivated. I am due to pay my mortgage off in 5 years and I am determined to be debt free before then so I can go and travel the world and visit my family and friends.

    Allie xx
  • englishmac
    For those who have been to rock bottom, incentive is to have reminders of what it felt like eg not be able to afford food, have banks harrassing you constantly, not be able to socialise, etc etc.
    A way to prevent yourself from spending money you donít have coming in is to cut up your credit cards. Yes, go on, take the plunge. It is really quite liberating. You then canít spend what you havenít got if you are relying on what is in the bank. Need to watch your budget carefully to make sure you donít spend what you have allocated for bills though.
    Create a balance sheet for your needs - essential bills, debts and any other regular outgoings - and separate balance sheets for the things you want eg holidays, social events, new clothes you want but donít need. That will focus your mind on the value of your income. Keep a record of your debts, updated daily, thus watching the result of your actions unfolding before you Ė if you have reduced your debt it will give you a buzz; if you have increased your debt it is a warning sign. Updating your record daily will nip problems in the bud.
    Stay away from the places your know you will be tempted. Stopped popping into HMV Ďjust for a look roundí years ago Ė never walked out without spending at least £60. Donít spend £60 now as I donít tempt myself.
    It is true it is harder if you havenít hit rock bottom as the incentive is less. So give yourself an incentive. Convert the price of your wants into the number of hours you will have to work to pay for them Ė are they still worth it? Consider what you will have to deny yourself if you have a splurge Ė will it cost you that holiday you want to book next year? Are you being ripped off Ė better to line your savings account/reduce your debt/spend your hard earned on something more worthwhile than to increase a companyís profit? I hate being ripped off. If I think a company is trying to fool me I get all huffy and refuse to hand over my (very hard earned) cash these days.
    Cheap and cheerful. Preferably free. LBM - more a gradual rude awakening.
    DFD where the light is at the end of this very long tunnel - there, see it? Its getting brighter!!

    DFW Nerd Club Member no. 946. Proud To Be Dealing With My Debts.
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