Your browser isn't supported
It looks like you're using an old web browser. To get the most out of the site and to ensure guides display correctly, we suggest upgrading your browser now. Download the latest:

Welcome to the MSE Forums

We're home to a fantastic community of MoneySavers but anyone can post. Please exercise caution & report spam, illegal, offensive or libellous posts/messages: click "report" or email forumteam@.

Search
  • FIRST POST
    thepinkladez
    am i young enough to give it all up and start again?
    • #1
    • 6th Mar 08, 10:54 AM
    am i young enough to give it all up and start again? 6th Mar 08 at 10:54 AM
    ok is this the point in my life where i am actualy glad to be in my 20's?!
    this will be quite long winded but its all going round in my head!
    the senario is as follows i am 26 living with my husband who is 27 and have a 3 year old.
    We bought our first home when i was 18 and he was 19 at the time everyone thought we were nuts but hey we paid less on our mortgage than we paid renting our flat so at the time we thought it was the best plan.

    being 18 and 19 with a home meant everyone wanted to give us credit and niavely we took it!!

    by the time we had our daughter we had outgown our first home so we moved to our 3 bed semi.

    unfortunatly things are not as rosey as we wuld have liked we are now in £38,000 of debt and struggeling. i lost my job after being made redundant and am still waiting for some kind of payout which i dont think will ever happen.
    now we are in the process of setting up a dmp with cccs but over my sponge pudding last night darling husband decided to tell me he has been thinking about selling up finding a rented home and rebuilding our lives. we hadnt really ever discussed this option ( cccs had suggested it) other than saying we thought it was our last option as we desperatly want to make sure we have a home for dd.

    if we sold up ( similar houses are on the market for £140k to £160k- im saying £140k as i want to stay realistic) this would clear a major chunk of debt. cccs says possibly all if we offered a full and fnal settelment on all. also i assume debt would go down as we would stay on a dmp til house is sold.

    hopefully if all went smoothly we would find a nice rented home for similar amount we pay for mortgage £700 or less!we would be debt free and with the extra income we would have (at least £400 a month) we could start saving for a deposit and being debt free we could start repairing our credit file. also being in a rented home means we would be in an ideal position to buy again one day.

    now have i got my head stuck in the clouds is this a stupid idea?? or am i young enough to start my life again??anyone done this? anyone wish they had done this??

    This Forum Tip was included in MoneySavingExpert's weekly email

    Don't miss out on new deals, loopholes, and vouchers

    Last edited by Former MSE Lawrence; 11-03-2008 at 6:08 PM.
Page 1
  • phoenixchick
    • #2
    • 6th Mar 08, 11:33 AM
    • #2
    • 6th Mar 08, 11:33 AM
    Hi,
    I'm not going to try to make you decide one way or another, but of course you are young enough! Decide what you think is best - does the security of having your own home outweigh the stress of being in debt? Lots of people I know don't own houses yet, either because they can't afford to buy or because they don't want to risk it just yet. OH and I rent because we know that we can't afford to buy the type of place that we can rent, and if there are any problems they get sorted without us paying anything.

    Good luck whatever you decide.
    Lightbulb moment Feb 2008. Total debt 70214.18 63108.51 Priority 'eek' debts 27035.64 24480.12
    Proud to be dealing with my debts - official DFW Nerd 906. Longhauler DFW No 108. Sealed Pot Challenge: No 220. 7142.92/20000 (35.7%)
    • lazy&indebt
    • By lazy&indebt 6th Mar 08, 11:59 AM
    • 572 Posts
    • 216 Thanks
    lazy&indebt
    • #3
    • 6th Mar 08, 11:59 AM
    • #3
    • 6th Mar 08, 11:59 AM
    I personally think it's a good idea. As long as you have learned your DFW lesson and don't get yourselves into debt again I say go for it. You can't put a price on happiness and if it would relieve all the stress of being in debt I say go for it. Maybe rental prices will come down once the house prices do?

    I would think about it seriously though and weigh up all the pros and cons.
    Was debt free... then went travelling!
  • thepinkladez
    • #4
    • 6th Mar 08, 12:01 PM
    • #4
    • 6th Mar 08, 12:01 PM
    thank you for your reply. my biggest concern/worry is making sure i have a roof over my daughters head, i guess the constant worry of debt is eating away at us, this seems to be the cause of any argument in our household! my biggest worry is not being able to get back on the housing ladder once we get off!? i mean if we rented we would be in a better financial position than we are now ie none/ or very little debt but not sure how easily we could get back on?
  • thepinkladez
    • #5
    • 6th Mar 08, 12:03 PM
    • #5
    • 6th Mar 08, 12:03 PM
    hi lazy, thanx for your advice. would you mind helping me with the pros and cons my head is swimming and just need some hlep getting it all black and white!
  • thepinkladez
    • #6
    • 6th Mar 08, 12:06 PM
    • #6
    • 6th Mar 08, 12:06 PM
    i know i would have learnt my lesson and i think from what dh said last night he will have too. as i told him he cant act like he has done before and he agreed that if we do it we have nothing to fall back on (equity in house) so he will have no choice but to not spend!! i think in a way he will be a bit relieved as he works very long hours without taking any holidays etc just so we get by.
  • phoenixchick
    • #7
    • 6th Mar 08, 12:16 PM
    • #7
    • 6th Mar 08, 12:16 PM
    Think about your quality of life. If DH has been working very long hours just to get by, and you have been arguing about debt, then it might be best to clear your debts and improve your quality of life. You can always build up your savings so you have somehing to fall back on, and a bigger deposit. Would it be the end of the world if you couldn't buy again (unlikely, but you never know)?
    Lightbulb moment Feb 2008. Total debt 70214.18 63108.51 Priority 'eek' debts 27035.64 24480.12
    Proud to be dealing with my debts - official DFW Nerd 906. Longhauler DFW No 108. Sealed Pot Challenge: No 220. 7142.92/20000 (35.7%)
  • thepinkladez
    • #8
    • 6th Mar 08, 12:20 PM
    • #8
    • 6th Mar 08, 12:20 PM
    not sure if it would be the end of the world! but we have always been very proud of being on the property ladder so ideally that would be our main goal when we are debt free again.
    sounds silly but it is just something we both have as a goal, always have!sad but we both would love to live in a 4 bed detached with garages in nice area thats our dream by 35! so 9 years for me!
    • (Land of) Maz
    • By (Land of) Maz 6th Mar 08, 12:27 PM
    • 11,044 Posts
    • 11,457 Thanks
    (Land of) Maz
    • #9
    • 6th Mar 08, 12:27 PM
    • #9
    • 6th Mar 08, 12:27 PM
    my OH is 43, I'm 34, and we don't own our own home. We rent a 2 bedroom housing association house with parking and mah-hoosive garden for less than £250 a month and band B council tax(110pm)....

    We hope to buy sometime but time is running out for us(due to OH's age, we'd already struggle to meet a 20year mortgage before he retires) and paying £360pcm is preferable to having an £800 mortgage which is where we would be looking at on a shorter term10-15 year mortgage,

    So in short, I think you are in a really strong position and lucky to have that equity. Just be sure you don't run up any more debts once you are back on your feet.

    I know what you mean about ensuring your daughter has a home but are you thinking of it as her inheritence too? As why cripple yourself for life, just so you can leave something worthwhile when you're dead. Sounds blunt but it is true. Your daughter will benefit from 2 stress free parents who are sticking together and are happy more than she would from the money from the sale of the house when you're gone....

    Owning your own home is not the be all and end all.

    and can iask why would you need 4 bedrooms and 2 garages with only 1 child?!

    I think you are brave if you do, but i know what you should do in my opinion.

    PS some rental properties are new builds and you might get really lucky, housing associations can sell you part of the house as shared ownership when you are back on the level (not mines though, different law in scotland i think, pah!)
    Last edited by (Land of) Maz; 06-03-2008 at 12:32 PM.
    I'm just a seething mass of contradictions....
    (it's part of my charm!)
    • lazy&indebt
    • By lazy&indebt 6th Mar 08, 1:44 PM
    • 572 Posts
    • 216 Thanks
    lazy&indebt
    You have to decide whether getting the big 4 bed house in 9 years time is worth all the stress in the mean time?

    Personally, I think it shouldn't matter about living in a huge house like that. you have your family and that is all that matters.
    So if you sell your home and rent you won't be able to say that you are on the property ladder anymore but it's nothing to be ashamed of (average age for buying first property in the UK is 35!) you WILL be able to say that you are debt free though, not many people can say that.

    This way, you can throw any money you would've thrown at your debts into a savings account. I can't see why you wouldn't be able to get back on the ladder in the future. There is some sort of a housing market crisis and people with a small deposit are finding it difficult to get a mortgage but it won't be like that forever. I am 23 and have just under 5k of debt and no savings. As soon as I pay that off I will save for a deposit on a property... not planning on doing this for a good few years though!
    Was debt free... then went travelling!
  • thepinkladez
    thank you maz3374,
    sounds ridiculous but your thread had me in tears. you are completly right on every aspect. i guess although i hadnt thought about it, that i was not only providing a roof over my dd's head now but thinking about her share when i was gone. you are completly right she needs us to do whatever it takes now to be a strong, stress free,happy parents to her.

    i guess our dream stems from my husband growing up in a nice house and the whole 2 point 4 children thing, and me growning up in a crummy broken home. guess we both thought the perfect senario was the big house, happy family stuff! and well it isn't!

    have no idea if we have those share ownership schemes around here? not sure where to even look!

    i am terrified at even going down this route but like you say we are in a very lucky position.
    • (Land of) Maz
    • By (Land of) Maz 6th Mar 08, 4:21 PM
    • 11,044 Posts
    • 11,457 Thanks
    (Land of) Maz
    awwww hun, i really didn't mean to make you cry.... but yes you are lucky!!

    i guess our dream stems from my husband growing up in a nice house and the whole 2 point 4 children thing, and me growning up in a crummy broken home. guess we both thought the perfect senario was the big house, happy family stuff! and well it isn't!
    Originally posted by thepinkladez
    I can relate to that too, similarly my OH had a nice house loadsa money but he never saw his dad and that got to him, whereas i had a rented council house, crummy circumstances but i knew my folks were there for me...

    There is a certain pride in owning your own home, but no shame in renting, the home is important beacuse of who's there and how you make it, not whether or not you own the bricks.

    keep posting here or in the other threads and let us know how you get on.

    shared housing, something to think about further down the line....

    chin up chuck!
    Last edited by (Land of) Maz; 06-03-2008 at 4:51 PM.
    I'm just a seething mass of contradictions....
    (it's part of my charm!)
  • Seaxwyn
    Hi pinkladez, I think it's a good idea to sell up and go back to renting.

    I didn't buy a house til I was 37 and had four children! Looking back on the years renting, they were happy and stress-free

    And you don't need a big house to provide a happy home for your daughter. Secure, unstressed parents will be far more important for her!
    Total debt: 1 January 2007 49,387.79 1 January 2012 19,312.85 1 August 2012 11,517.62



  • thepinkladez
    thank you everyone for all your coments after sleeping on it, it does seem to make the most sense, will talk to dh tomorrow as wont see him today. guess the next step is to get the estate agents in and see what our house is really worth.
  • dhassen
    I'm 26 and got debt (granted less than you guys). Me and the gf rent so we don't own a home. Sounds like selling up and starting again would be a good idea to me if it means you'd be debt free! why not try and find somewhere cheaper to rent, then you will save even more for your deposit?
    Official DFW Nerd Club - Member no. 784 - Proud to be dealing with my debts
  • barnaby-bear
    Hi pinkladez, I think it's a good idea to sell up and go back to renting.

    I didn't buy a house til I was 37 and had four children! Looking back on the years renting, they were happy and stress-free

    And you don't need a big house to provide a happy home for your daughter. Secure, unstressed parents will be far more important for her!
    Originally posted by Seaxwyn
    Downsizing may be an idea, but having spent several years in rentals - it was hard. A lot of landlords won't allow kids or pets in my area, even if you do they won't let you paint their rooms, put up a shelf etc. There's the constant fear of the AST notice which means if the LL wants to sell etc it's 2 months notice, plus the wait and fight for the deposit; moving potentially every 6 months at 2 months notice - finding somewhere OK available so not paying double rent for too long is stressful, nevermind tryign to deal with schools/catchment areas. Then you get the always buying cheap bits of furniture because the moving means they fall apart, have to be discarded, one rental has no fridge the next does but no storage space.... means lots of hidden expenses. Then when something breaks getting it fixed is a battle with the LL and his yield. Tiny scuffs on paintwork lose 100s off the deposit and/or a fight off a lot of LLs, then there are agency fees, credit checks, making sure you have an extra deposit in hand because you usually have to pay the next+up front rent when you move before you get the last one back....
  • barnaby-bear
    BTW if you could get a HA/council tenancy with security of tenure those are great - the private rental sector is nasty to be in though....
  • sasp
    thank you everyone for all your coments after sleeping on it, it does seem to make the most sense, will talk to dh tomorrow as wont see him today. guess the next step is to get the estate agents in and see what our house is really worth.
    Originally posted by thepinkladez
    Hi, I just wanted to let you know I was in your shoes last year (April) and had my own home and lots of debt with equity. We did sell (luckily to a landlord, who rented it back to us) but the relief has been tremendous. I'm obviously not here to sway your decision as this can only be yours and your hub.
    I too worried so much about keeping a roof over my children's heads (I have 4), and I can't say it has all been plain sailing for me, however it did clear a lot of our debt, leaving only a small amount, we have just bought a caravan and now spend quality time together rather than weekends of work and worry.
    I am 35 (where you want to be for your next house ) but I still consider myself young enough to get back on the property ladder if that's what is best for me and my family. However to be honest my rent is much cheaper than my mortgage and I'm enjoying being able to pay my bills properly and still have a tiny bit left over for us.

    I hope you feel ok today, and whatever you decide will be the best for you and your family, there are always options no matter what.

    Take care
    sasp x
  • ilovecheese
    Hello,

    We sold up in August las year (3 bed house) and now rent a 1 bed flat. We just had enough money to pay off the mortgage and the secured loan. We now have 900 extra per month disposable income! Owning a house it not that important! My husband is 48 I'm 35 and I don't think we ever buy again, and that does not bother me all. We have never been so happy, I am sure it will be a pain in the a*se when we have to move again, but we will cross that bridge when we come to it. If you decide to rent, make sure you research the property, we know that our flat has been rented for over 15 years and our rent will not be affected by intrest rates, my sister rented a house from a couple who had moved to Australia and 20 months after they moved in they had to move out as the owners wanted to return to the UK. I am so glad we made the decision last year, best thing we ever did! I used to spend 3 hours every Saturday cleaning my house, it now takes 45 minutes to clean my flat! result!
    • MrsTinks
    • By MrsTinks 7th Mar 08, 12:43 PM
    • 14,994 Posts
    • 23,044 Thanks
    MrsTinks
    We're on the property ladder and if we rented we'd be able to rent a MUCH bigger house than we own... for less money! However - think long and hard about doing this - be sure before you go ahead with it.
    I think in your position it's a good idea to sell up and rent - As others have said you are by no means at a point where you can't save up for a deposit for a new house later on if you wish!
    It will take a few years for your credit score to repair itself - that will give you time to save up a sizable chunk to put down as a deposit as well as being debt free. If say you could put by 500 a month that's 18,000 in 3 years... not bad for a deposit
    As for renting... It's not that bad. Sure you have good and bad landlords, but go through a lettings agent and you should with luck be covered for much eventualities. Go with the bigger well known names (I used to work for one many years ago - we had far less problems than I had personally with other agencies when renting who were small and frankly amateurish) and make sure you take time to read the rental agreement in full. Also make sure you walk round with them when they do their property check in and later check out - that should cover most problems regarding the deposit!
    I've had some super landlords over the years, most either were happy for me to redecorate or put up shelves - just make sure you write to them and get a written permission from them first - or they will be happy with you "returning the property to the original condition when occupancy first began" - ie if you painted a room pink you might have to paint it magnolia before you leave And any holes in the walls need to be filled, skimmed and painted.
    Normal wear and tear is covered in your rent, but any major stains etc might need to be cleaned or carpets replaced. Make sure you have contents insurance and you'll probably find this will be covered leaving you little or nothing to pay
    DFW Nerd #025
    DFW no more! Officially debt free 2017 - now joining the MFW's!

    My DFW Diary - blah- mildly funny stuff about my journey
Welcome to our new Forum!

Our aim is to save you money quickly and easily. We hope you like it!

Forum Team Contact us

Live Stats

959Posts Today

6,401Users online

Martin's Twitter
  • Today's FRI Twitter poll: As everyone knows, you're a creative genius with an huge range of highly honed skills.? https://t.co/KV5FHAqK6v

  • Watching Theresa May... seriously would anyone in their right mind truly want her job right now!

  • RT @thecheekypostie: @MartinSLewis Thanks to this, I have just skim read it. To those in Scotland - on page 548, Dounreay is mentioned by n?

  • Follow Martin