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    • pennymakespounds
    • By pennymakespounds 22nd Jul 05, 2:27 PM
    • 1,456Posts
    • 287Thanks
    Lending money to friends & family
    • #1
    • 22nd Jul 05, 2:27 PM
    Lending money to friends & family 22nd Jul 05 at 2:27 PM
    not sure if this is right board..

    member of our family "lent" couple of £thousand to a "friend" to fund something....
    which didn't happen .. and guy has made himself completely uncontactable . Apparantely he's done similar with couple of other people

    Whilst probably classed as my own stupid fault for just handing over cash .. last thing we expected was this .. from a supposedly "best friend" .
    What legal actions can i take .. or "legal threats" can i make to try and get him to realise i'm seriously wanting my money back.
Page 5
    • Fran
    • By Fran 2nd Dec 05, 12:09 PM
    • 11,011 Posts
    • 6,465 Thanks
    Are you sure there's no legal comeback? It might be worth contacting a solicitor to see if this verbal contract has any weight. Do you still have the note that says don't bother persuing him, does it imply that he does owe you money but doesn't intend to pay it back?
    Torgwen.......... ...........

    I'm a volunteer Board Guide on Techie, Benefits & Employment, Energy, Small biz & Charities and Redundancy boards to help them run smoothly & I can move posts & threads but don't read them all. Dealing with illegal or inappropriate posts is not part of my role. Please report them to Views are mine not official MoneySavingExpert ones.
    • Smiley_Mum
    • By Smiley_Mum 2nd Dec 05, 1:10 PM
    • 3,779 Posts
    • 2,914 Thanks
    I recall lending money, around £200, to a "friend", thankfully wasn't living with me though. I never saw it again, even although I have a note saying that they would pay it back which was signed by them. I put it down to experience and whenever someone asks me for money now I tell them no, even though it goes against my nature to see some who is down on their luck and to have to knock them back for a sub etc. I wouldn't lower yourself by kicking up about the money owed. What goes round comes round etc, I later discovered that this person I lent the money to took someone in like you did and they totally screwed them over financially and the person I had lent the money to ended up in deep sh!t with the local council. If you are looking to get even, then I would bide my time and discreetly keep tabs on him, if that is possible.
    “Ordinary riches can be stolen, real riches cannot. In your soul are infinitely precious things that cannot be taken from you.” - Oscar Wilde
    • netlang
    • By netlang 14th Dec 05, 4:19 PM
    • 113 Posts
    • 41 Thanks
    Never again

    I lent one so called friend £200 and another so called friend who was in deep trouble £800 needless to say neither of them paid me a penny back and I have not seen or heard from either of them since.

    When anyone asks me now it is definately NO.
    • Smiley_Mum
    • By Smiley_Mum 14th Dec 05, 4:38 PM
    • 3,779 Posts
    • 2,914 Thanks
    Just say NO and if they don't understand, say NO again. If they still don't get it then...

    I've lent money to people in the past and never seen it back either. Makes you wonder, if you added up all the cash that friends lent people (they aren't friends if they don't pay it back, are they) then how much would it amount to? Worth a thought.

    As the old saying goes, never a lender or a borrower be. Then again, 0% cards are ok so long as you watch what you are doing.
    “Ordinary riches can be stolen, real riches cannot. In your soul are infinitely precious things that cannot be taken from you.” - Oscar Wilde
    • calleyw
    • By calleyw 14th Dec 05, 4:43 PM
    • 8,728 Posts
    • 15,717 Thanks
    If you lend it you expect it back. But if you give it as a gift and they pay it back that is a bonus.

    I would say never. I got stung by my best friend and her boyfriend of the time.

    I had £800 (1995) overdraft so me and her could buy a house together. Bad move.

    I am still waiting for £500 that I will never see.

    And don't even get me started on paying bills etc.

    But I did pay the overdraft off.

    Good riddance to bad rubbish is all I can say. Never had anything and they never will and will always be wasters. But like the murphys "I am not bitter"


  • JamesFranklin434
    not sure if this is right board..

    member of our family "lent" couple of £thousand to a "friend" to fund something....
    which didn't happen .. and guy has made himself completely uncontactable . Apparantely he's done similar with couple of other people

    Whilst probably classed as my own stupid fault for just handing over cash .. last thing we expected was this .. from a supposedly "best friend" .
    What legal actions can i take .. or "legal threats" can i make to try and get him to realise i'm seriously wanting my money back.
    by pennymakespounds
    no. lol.
    • tomstickland
    • By tomstickland 31st Dec 05, 11:48 AM
    • 18,904 Posts
    • 15,428 Thanks
    I lent £800 to a friend of mine. At the time I was clearing my own debts, but the source of this money was a gift from my grandfather, so I'd thought I'd help a friend ion need. He did pay me back, but every month I had to ask for that month's money and that annoyed me. I had to do all the work.
    Happy chappy
  • stockmarket-diva
    Lending money
    I'm sorry, I didn't read the beginning of this thread and hope its applicable to what i'm going to write now.

    I lent my sister and her husband a large amount of money at a very low monthly repayment because she purported to be in alot of problems financially...thought she was going to lose her house etc.

    No problems with them repaying it but immediately they got the money they booked numerous holidays, bought 2 cars, had garden landscaped, etc etc. I was mortified but at the same time it was my Sister and I don't think I wanted to disbelieve her.

    After a couple of years the spending was getting ridiculous and I thought that if they were okay now she could get a normal loan and pay all my money back. This was partly a safety measure becuase I was worried that if she was getting into more debt and ended up bankrupt, then I would never get the money back and my daughters would need it eventually.

    Well, guess what my family are like. My Father advised her to tell me that I'd have to take her to Court to get the money back . Thats family loyalty for you.

    I not only have lost a sister but my parents too. How can I ever believe that they have my best interests at heart.
  • citygal
    I'd never do it- when money gets in the way of friendship, the whole picture changes
    Debt /Overdraft/Everything Free December 2007
  • davisneil
    i must be honest here...ive had experience from both sides of the fence.

    a few years ago, my then then girlfriend's parents offered to lend me a small amount of money as i was short one month and was expecting some overtime. However, between the time i borrowed the cash and was due to repay it, the girlfriend went off to spain and ran off with a waiter and i was moved quite far away by my employer. Because i was so busy doing a new install at work, i literally forgot to repay the money...something i feel terrible about to this day. I received a respectfully worded letter from the parents asking me for it, and i repaid it immediately that day, and calculated how much interest it would cost to leave that money outstanding, and added that on to what i paid. I felt awful, like i had abused somones good nature, and they were lovely people. I took them for a meal by way of apology after that. Guess what i am trying to say is that it is quite possible that someone forgets to pay, and maybe first course of action is a kindly worded letter. Of course my intentions were not nasty, but if you dont get a response after that then instigate further action, but you might find that the person genuinely has lost touch/forgotten or is having genuine difficulties and has just felt ashamed to call you...contacting them/making it clear that a reasonable repayment agreement fully signed/witnessed may be agreeable and you may just be repaid.

    However I am owed about £680 by an ex for me bailing her out of mobile phone/landline/rent arrears and she has not paid anything yet. Lent her the money in 2002...dont think ill be seeing money or her again...
    Strange thing is she gave me the speil about being in financial trouble when i lent the money, but she always seemed to find the money to go to nightclubs 3 times a week...
    Debt Free Since September 2005!
  • funky-footprints
    This is an interesting thread and I stumbled on it by accident. We are in a similar position to many of the posters, we lent an apparant best friend 6 years back some money to set up a business, another friend of ours also lent him an equivalent sum.

    We took out a bank loan to lend him the money as he had ccj's against him and had been refused, we and the other friend were his last hope. (I say We, this was what my husband did and I didnt know about it, but seeing as we are married it is a We now !!) Anyways good friend didnt pay anything back for about 18 months, then I fell pg with son and gave up work and took over finances and found the loan !! few arguements later with my husband I started phoning, emailing, texting friend for repayment. This took a few months and during this time we paid the bank loan off by remortgaging our home. We have probably over the last 6 years had about 1/4 of the original loan, but I am slapping major interest on the debt !! Payments are very few and far between, maybe £200 a month, then nothing for a couple of months, even though the agreed payment was £350 a month !

    12 months ago I have severed all ties with them, I was sick of being portrayed as the bad party in all this, as ofcourse my attitiude towards them was getting worse and worse, and I lost all respect in him and his wife. They continue to have fantastic holdays and live it up largely !! Thier daughter has now even started at private school. my husband wont take it any further and does remain on friendlyish terms with them, as he says if he severes all ties, we lose any chance of getting anything back, the other friend who lent him money has had 1 payment of £200 !! They are ofcourse in far worse a situation than us, so I cant realy complain can I ? ? It turns out since the initial loan was made a few other people have come forward and said he owes them a grand or two, yet the wife loves her singles annual ski-ing holiday !!!! We see the money now as an extra bonus when it arrives, sometime we know we will get nothing, then when it does arrive we peel ourselves up off the floor and pop it into savings.

    I guess the moral of the story is dont mix business with pleasure, or dont lend money to friends. Before this we were 4 good mates who enjoyed each others company, now I want nothing to do with them !!
  • CalamityJane
    Loan Agreement template please?
    Hi, Does anyone have a UK "Loan Agreement" template please?

    I want to lend my friend some money and we agreed to pop it on an agreement.

    I see Lawpack do a CD of 301 templates, but as I only want one, I was hoping someone here might have one to email to me.

    Thanks in advance!
    • ericthekidstoner
    • By ericthekidstoner 24th Apr 06, 5:00 PM
    • 352 Posts
    • 188 Thanks
    see trace-j's post on Sticky Thread Sticky: Lending money to friends page 3?
  • CalamityJane
    Loan Agreement template please?
    Hi again, I asked trace-j but she doesn't appear to be around at the moment. Does anyone else have a template please?
  • Flashfly
    Family Loan - Agreement Template
    Hi all,

    I have been offered a loan from my family so that I can undertake training for a career change. I want to set up a formal agreement to cover this loan.

    I have had a look online and there are plenty of companies that offer templates but they all charge between £10 and £50.

    Does anyone know where I can get a cheap (or free) template?

    • savvy
    • By savvy 13th May 06, 5:44 PM
    • 29,767 Posts
    • 45,395 Thanks
    Hi flashfly
    Another poster did have one, but don't think she's been about recently to pm her:confused:

    I'll move your post up to the lending family/friends thread, and then hopefully you might be able to pick up some points from there that you could include in your form.

    Honorary Northern Bird bestowed by Anselm

    I'm a Board Guide and volunteer to help get your forum questions answered and keep the forum running smoothly on Special Occasions, Green/Ethical, Motoring/Overseas/UK Travel & Flood boards, it's not part of my role to deal with reportable posts. Report inappropriate or illegal posts to Views are MINE & not official MSE ones

    • Serendipity
    • By Serendipity 31st May 06, 12:07 AM
    • 19 Posts
    • 4 Thanks
    Loan Agreement
    I've read the posts in this thread and it's sort of reassuring to know that I'm not alone in breaking the rule about never lending to friends.

    I think I may be more fortunate than some, because the friend I lent to (now my daughter's ex) is keeping in touch, has made some repayments, and is saying he will sign a loan agreement for the remaining balance.

    But I have a few questions:
    1) Is a loan agreement actually worth the paper it's written on?
    2) If so, is there any advantage in having a loan agreement witnessed?
    3) Can we sign the agreement separately and fax email or post it to each other?
    4) If the debtor leaves the UK to live in the USA (as seems highly likely) is the loan agreement worthless?

    Sorry to join the forum and ask a question in the same breath, but you all seem very friendly and clued-up, and if I can share any of my wisdom (yeah, right!) I'll certainly chip in...
    - noun: Looking for a needle in a haystack and finding the farmer's daughter.
  • el_leach
    Lending money to friends - help needed
    First time I've posted anything so not sure if I'm in the right place.
    Anyway here goes:

    In September 2005 I lent my girlfriend £800, my dad also gave her £650 for some shares she had in the company she used to work for. I also got a mobile phone out in my name for her - she had a bad credit rating!! She had been travelling for 2 months and the money was for a deposit/1st months rent for a new flat.

    Two weeks later we had split up and she hadn't found any work so hadn't paid any of the money back. She promised to pay me back when she got a job. After another 2 weeks she moved to London (we are in Manchester) to work (and as I later found out, move in with an Australian guy she met whilst travelling). Anyway, she paid me back part of the £800 she owed me.

    Since then she's lost her job, and run up a £350 mobile phone bill in my name. So currently she owes me £150, my dad £650 for the "shares" which she never signed over to him, and me £350 for a debt which is in my name.

    She won't speak to me on the phone to discuss paying anything back. Is there anything I can do? It was all verbal agreements, although she will have cashed a cheque from my dad for the £650 and all the phone bills were in her name and she was initially paying the bill.

    I know she is planning to go to Australia at some point and don't want to let her get away with running away and leaving me with her debts. I realise I've been daft and naive, but all advice gratefully received.
  • waveryder
    I feel for people who got burned from lending money, I loaned money to friend and never heard from him after.

    • lynsayjane
    • By lynsayjane 13th Jun 06, 4:56 PM
    • 3,303 Posts
    • 5,758 Thanks

    We suspect they are still living / working locally as they have a relationship with children involved. However as someone mentioned above until we can find out a new address either of residence or work conected to them we are powerless!
    by Heddwen
    in my opinon, this seems like a perfect time to start playing 007. ever thought of staking out the home the kids are staying in, i presume this guy visits with them? then following him home. then you could either break his legs, tell the courts his address or, and this is my fav, both!
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