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  • FIRST POST
    • crazy_cat_lady
    • By crazy_cat_lady 31st Dec 19, 11:00 AM
    • 5,346Posts
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    crazy_cat_lady
    Crazy Cat Lady Chapter 4 - The Aftermath
    • #1
    • 31st Dec 19, 11:00 AM
    Crazy Cat Lady Chapter 4 - The Aftermath 31st Dec 19 at 11:00 AM
    Morning readers - long time and new.
    I thought that with a new decade just round the corner (tomorrow) and the fact that my old diary has gotten very long now then it was time for another fresh start. I really hope that some of you have followed me over here, because I find it really supportive to know that so many of you are there and cheering me on - even if I don't say it enough.
    So - where am I at right now? I am divorced (for almost a year now), with a court date to settle the finances looming (1 week today) living with my two gorgeous kids and 7 cats. Whilst I'm much better in my own head now I am a mess in many other areas of my life. I was debt free, but now I'm not thanks to a minor period of rebellion when I first separated from my ex, alongside court fees and trying to maintain a lifestyle I have finally realised I cannot afford on 1 wage. Court rumbles on but I have been in worse situations than this and ploughed on.
    I am also recently recovering from a kidney infection which knocked me off my feet for a week and has made me re-evaluate my physical health. I had a 'full MOT' at the doctors, and whilst all blood tests have come back clear, my illness was a bit of a wake up call in that I have realised I need to be taking better care of myself.
    So 2020 will be the year that I refocus on the basics - getting my health and finances in order (again). Hopefully with a little bit of humour and plenty of gratitude.
    NST January #10 NSD = 10 Pay all your debt off by 2020 #56 832.98/10000
Page 5
    • crazy_cat_lady
    • By crazy_cat_lady 12th Jan 20, 11:40 AM
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    crazy_cat_lady
    Hello diary lovelies
    I didn't intend to be absent all day yesterday, but I had a lovely day out and about with a friend. Had an early night Friday as I was so exhausted and then was up and about quite early yesterday to take dd to have her acrylics removed (so school can stop whingeing about it now). Took over an hour, then I dropped her back off at home and headed into town to meet one of my friends for lunch.
    She had won 300 on bingo on Friday night so insisted lunch was on her, so we went off to all you can eat Chinese buffet as apparently that's her favourite food. I was reasonably restrained She had also bought me a planner. We do a lot of our crochet work together, and I consider her to be my organiser - she tells me what to do and when to do it because she's good at organising stuff and I'm terrible. She has this massive planner that she made herself that I'm quite envious of - it has all sorts of stuff in it - budget, school stuff, kids, meal plans etc - a lot like a bullet journal. I have had planner envy for a long time and she had bought me a starter-planner and told me where to find all of the extra free printable sheets she has in hers. So kind - I hope I can do her some sort of justice with it. I have printed off savings/debt payment sheets, food tracker and meal planners, daily gratitudes and a mood tracker. I shall try my very best. Jeez though, I could have been lost for hours online looking through free printable sheets for planners We had a little wander around the shops - I bought some new pens and then went for a cuppa before heading home. Came home via Mr S because the kids had eaten all of the breaded chicken bits (again) and they never ever tell me that they've helped themselves to the last of them - I just get the fall out that comes along with not having any chicken in the house.
    I also got a call from BeeTee about the broadband issues. It appears that the lovely engineer that came out Christmas Eve has in fact fixed the problem and it has only been off once since then, and that was for downloading an update as planned. They are giving me 150 compensation (to my bank not to account) and have also looked into my current package and account - and have reduced the price there from 59 a month to 28 a month. And apparently my account is over 160 in credit anyway so I'm getting a few months off from paying. I'm quite pleased because that means I have a teeny bit of money I wasn't expecting to put towards the massive credit card bill. So all in all yesterday was a pretty good day - good for me and good for my money (or lack of).
    Today's plans, relax... I'm still in my jammies. I thought I'd be back to tutoring today but they haven't contacted me and I said I'd wait until I heard from them. I will need to do some school stuff at some point. I need to plan a couple of lessons on global warming and climate change. It should be easy, but it doesn't feel it for some reason... I also still have 2 loads of washing to do - I swear the kids take their clean washing and put it straight in the basket.
    NST January #10 NSD = 10 Pay all your debt off by 2020 #56 832.98/10000
    • Eager_Elephant
    • By Eager_Elephant 12th Jan 20, 1:37 PM
    • 4,615 Posts
    • 27,531 Thanks
    Eager_Elephant
    Hey EE - been thinking about you and wondering how you are and what's happening in your world. You know the deal - court drags on and on and it's baby steps forward at immense cost to me. I have been wondering if I will even be able to get a mortgage now with the amount of debt I've racked up over the past couple of years. Not that it's something I need to consider right at the moment... but hopefully not too far in the future.
    Originally posted by crazy_cat_lady
    Been MIA for a while, the end of last year and the beginning of this has not started how I hoped.
    All blame can be laid fairly at the door of ex...I know you will understand.

    Could have applied for absolute at start of December but consent order not signed off yet and they recommend you wait.
    It is with the judge at the moment and as we are in agreement to keep our own assets (pensions) then we won't have the ongoing saga of court hearings.

    I swear we are the same people, co-dependency has always been a huge issue for me, hence I stayed with ex far longer than I should have.
    I am getting away from it now but my god it is hard to break the cycle. Not sure where mine came from, will read the article and see if I can work it out.

    Hope your Sunday is going well
    • beanielou
    • By beanielou 12th Jan 20, 4:26 PM
    • 68,439 Posts
    • 312,658 Thanks
    beanielou
    Good news on BTee
    Lou~ Debt free Wanabe No 55 DF 03/03/14. MFW. 14 months to mortgage freedom.
    **Credit card debt free 30/06/10~**
    **Weight loss 2 stone 11 lbs **

    "A large income is the best recipe for happiness I ever heard of" Jane Austen in Mansfield Park.
    ***Fall down seven times,stand up eight*** ~~Japanese proverb.
    It starts with you, it starts from now. *** It is ok to be me.***
    ***Keep plodding***
    Out of debt, out of danger. ***Be the difference.***
    • jwil
    • By jwil 13th Jan 20, 8:00 AM
    • 11,517 Posts
    • 42,865 Thanks
    jwil
    Great news on the compensation!
    "If you can dream it, you can do it". Walt Disney
    • SpekySquarehead
    • By SpekySquarehead 13th Jan 20, 8:22 AM
    • 2,931 Posts
    • 24,348 Thanks
    SpekySquarehead
    Great news about the internet. Good customer service for once!
    Debt Free Date: 29/09/16

    Follow my diary HERE
    • Steerpike88
    • By Steerpike88 13th Jan 20, 10:19 AM
    • 110 Posts
    • 298 Thanks
    Steerpike88
    Hi CCL just de lurking to say well done on the weight loss. I started calorie counting and it really helped me make switches. I was awful having about 6 biscuits with a cup of milky, sweet tea. Now I usually refrain from biscuits and drink green tea. I also only dress salad with vingear and salt, etc. There's a lot you can learn from counting calories! I still enjoy the foods I liked but now in smaller portions! We also eat more fish, vegetables and lean meat like beef and I eat smaller amounts of pasta, noodles, rice, etc.

    There's a great app called "lose it" that I use for calorie counting. Now I average between 1,500-1,800 a day and I lost weight quite quickly. I also got a subscription to the 8fit app which is a bit costly but gave me lots of great recipe ideas. Pm me if you want any recipe ideas. My diets gone out the window bit since I'm pregnant but I'm hoping to lose weight again afterwards.
    Debts: ASDA Loan - 6,848.01
    Xmas Fund: 15/700 2%; Holiday Fund: 256.05/2000 12.8%; Emergency Fund: 25/700 3.5%;
    VSP: 127.44/300 42.4%
    • f0xh0les
    • By f0xh0les 13th Jan 20, 2:28 PM
    • 2,829 Posts
    • 26,482 Thanks
    f0xh0les
    I swear the kids take their clean washing and put it straight in the basket.
    Originally posted by crazy_cat_lady

    Oh, that makes me feel much better about checking my boys' barely worn laundry, and just folding it and putting it in their 'take it back upstairs' pile with the clean laundry. They do not understand the concept of wearing clothes (even jeans) for more than one day. What they do not know, will not hurt them. My washing machine thanks me . I also put the towels (that have two perfect footprints on them) on the radiator, fold them, and put them back in the pile too. Not the ones they have rubbed themselves on, just the two footprint ones.
    MFW#65 5/16 118,3 10/17109,4 12/17 108,85/18106,9 6/18105,9, 8/18103,9 9/18102,9 10/18101,9 11/18101,3 12/18100,7 1/19 99,999 1/3 98,91/4 98,5 1/5 97,9 1/6 97,5 1/8 96,5 1/9 95,9.1/10 95,51/1194,999.99L&C Referal code- https://referme.to/GNNHtJo
    • OnlyPariah
    • By OnlyPariah 13th Jan 20, 3:14 PM
    • 123 Posts
    • 302 Thanks
    OnlyPariah
    With our washing machine now dead and my OH now hand washing everything we have now had the conversation again. The one where you explain to the little people that they can wear trousers or tops for more than a day.

    Excellent to hear about the BT refund. They don't come around every day.
    Tesco 7647.88 7,488.96 Asda 2,552 2,300 Virgin 4,204.95 4,204.95
    Halifax 2,853 2,796.64 Barclaycard 7,866.32 7,866.32 Wedding 488 EF 63
    • crazy_cat_lady
    • By crazy_cat_lady 13th Jan 20, 9:19 PM
    • 5,346 Posts
    • 48,128 Thanks
    crazy_cat_lady
    Hello
    Just a very quick and very late check in from me tonight. I've had a really 'exciting' evening sorting a cupboard out because my boiler is being serviced tomorrow. It's amazing how much junk I accumulate in the boiler cupboard. And every year I swear I will not dump all of that junk in there again, and then I do I have a very old quilt in there that I need to get rid of but I'm loathe to send it to landfill, so at the moment it's just cupboardfill.
    Busy day at work - I've been flitting around organising a 40th birthday surprise for my boss tomorrow. Unfortunately one of the cats found the box with the helium balloons in and one of them is now burst. I can only comfort myself by thinking of the cat running about with a really high pitched meow after doing it. Otherwise I'm just annoyed. However, the cake is sorted, and a surprise buffet lunch for him as well. On top of that I've done the usual teaching, sent out my first exam emails, prepped the year 11 mock exams and am also thinking about now setting cover work as I'm not in work next week because of exam stuff. Quite productive all in all but I'm still going to be very busy tomorrow. Tomorrow is the actual birthday, so the buffet needs to be arranged and surprise done. Photocopying needs to go in, and I need to think about more cover work. I'm in until half four tomorrow night so plenty of time after work. DS after school SATs revision starts tomorrow and I need to be encouraging that.
    Now I am being forced to watch Love Island (ugh).
    Thanks Steerpike for the offer of recipes etc - once I've found my feet I may well be in touch - I'm not a big fan of cooking in any way, shape or form but need to be making more of an effort.
    Last edited by crazy_cat_lady; 13-01-2020 at 9:24 PM.
    NST January #10 NSD = 10 Pay all your debt off by 2020 #56 832.98/10000
    • jwil
    • By jwil 14th Jan 20, 7:57 AM
    • 11,517 Posts
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    jwil
    It might be worth seeing if an animal shelter will take your quilt? Love cupboardfill I have a house full of that!
    "If you can dream it, you can do it". Walt Disney
    • f0xh0les
    • By f0xh0les 14th Jan 20, 10:04 AM
    • 2,829 Posts
    • 26,482 Thanks
    f0xh0les
    Love the idea of squeaky meows. Do you think they all got together and did mouse impressions?
    MFW#65 5/16 118,3 10/17109,4 12/17 108,85/18106,9 6/18105,9, 8/18103,9 9/18102,9 10/18101,9 11/18101,3 12/18100,7 1/19 99,999 1/3 98,91/4 98,5 1/5 97,9 1/6 97,5 1/8 96,5 1/9 95,9.1/10 95,51/1194,999.99L&C Referal code- https://referme.to/GNNHtJo
    • crazy_cat_lady
    • By crazy_cat_lady 14th Jan 20, 7:23 PM
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    crazy_cat_lady
    Did I mistakenly say that I had plenty of time to get stuff done? Gawd I am a fool for mentioning that... I have been non-stop and am still not quite done work wise. The background prep is all being done and going well, but actually doing is tough.
    Remembered to leave the key for the boiler man, and the boiler is now serviced for another year. So warranty intact and I don't need to worry about it. Only 50 (albeit another 50). Remembered to take the remaining helium balloons to work (one of the cats ran away from them so I suspect it is she with the extra squeaky voice ), also remembered to get ds his free bacon roll from the golden arches on the way to school
    Taught two lessons before break, then collected the cake at breaktime and hid it in the prep room. Taught lesson 3, then was free P4 just before lunch, so helped put the buffet out. Boss was surprised and seemed quite happy about it all (except for another member of staff repeatedly telling people he's 50 today and not 40) and we had lots of tasty yummy food, and I wrecked my diet for the day. Ah well. After dinner I didn't want to teach for the rest of the day because I felt tired but got through it. Then had to stay late, and I did work the whole 90 mins but I was still not finished - barely made it in time to pick ds up (mother of the year), came home via Mr A to buy yet more breaded chicken and finally made it in and sat down just after 6pm.
    DD has her new boyfriend here but I'm not allowed to 'meet him' just yet, so they're upstairs (yes, I trust her) but I'm not allowed to go in and disturb. However, the cats seem to be coming and going without any bother.
    I'm now trying to decide whether or not to investigate something that we were talking about at school today. It will probably involve me spending money though This year, our summer break runs a little later, and we start back quite late in September - most of the staff have booked extra hols as the prices have gone right down by then. Someone then mentioned it's much cheaper to fly from Scotland because the Scottish schools go back in August. It's made me wonder whether I may get a holiday abroad for the same price or less as I spend doing our traditional couple of days in London during the summer. As you know, it's why I do the exam marking - hawever I have debt to clear as you also know, but it is tempting. Trouble is if I investigate I might find something I want to do... Trying to think what foxgloves would do. I would always take them to London for a few days anyway, first class train, nice hotel suite, decent restaurants, a show and shopping. Would they prefer a trip abroad? Hmmm
    NST January #10 NSD = 10 Pay all your debt off by 2020 #56 832.98/10000
    • beanielou
    • By beanielou 14th Jan 20, 7:51 PM
    • 68,439 Posts
    • 312,658 Thanks
    beanielou
    What would YOU Prefer?
    Lou~ Debt free Wanabe No 55 DF 03/03/14. MFW. 14 months to mortgage freedom.
    **Credit card debt free 30/06/10~**
    **Weight loss 2 stone 11 lbs **

    "A large income is the best recipe for happiness I ever heard of" Jane Austen in Mansfield Park.
    ***Fall down seven times,stand up eight*** ~~Japanese proverb.
    It starts with you, it starts from now. *** It is ok to be me.***
    ***Keep plodding***
    Out of debt, out of danger. ***Be the difference.***
    • foxgloves
    • By foxgloves 14th Jan 20, 7:52 PM
    • 5,705 Posts
    • 35,439 Thanks
    foxgloves
    Oh dear...... I can't really answer that, CCL. You see, the old pre-LBM Foxgloves would have gone ahead & booked a holiday, then spent the next two weeks justifying it. Post-reformation Foxgloves, however, would say that a holiday isn't a necessity, whatever we have all come to believe. It's a luxury & if we have a lot of debt, then we can't afford it. You work hard & I know you all enjoy heading off for hols together, so I think it's just something you'll need to decide on weighing up the fun & change of scenery you'll get from it against a decent payment you could have put to your debt. So that's probably 'what Foxgloves would do' but that isn't what she'd have done in the past & only you know what is right for you. If you look to be getting a bit nearer to a post-divorce settlement, that could put a new perspective on decisions, I guess?
    Sorry I haven't been very helpful.
    F xx
    Money can't jump out of your purse on its own so ask 'Can I borrow one, make one, grow one, bake one, re-purpose or recycle, acquire it for free?' Yes? Then put that purse away & keep your money because little savings
    Payment received from surveys: 2015 = 320 2016 = 210 2017 = 304 2018 = 418 2019 = 227
    • Baileys Babe
    • By Baileys Babe 15th Jan 20, 8:37 AM
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    Baileys Babe
    Regarding the holiday if you are going to look decide first your budget for accommodation, flights, insurance, travel to and from the airport, entertainment, food whilst away and travelling, the cost of any new clothes etc. If you feel you can afford everything go ahead.
    • crazy_cat_lady
    • By crazy_cat_lady 15th Jan 20, 8:01 PM
    • 5,346 Posts
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    crazy_cat_lady
    I haven't done it... yet. I'm just too tired and stressed at the moment to think about it clearly and rationally. I haven't slept properly in 10 days and I've been busier than I can remember at work this week so I just feel exhausted. I'm not exaggerating to say I was on the go today for 11 hours without any sort of break and I just want to cry at the moment because I feel so stressed out and tired. Not a good time for making holiday decisions - just thinking about how much I hate my ex for doing this to me and how much it's costing. and how I wasn't in debt but now I am because of him and how he owes me upwards of 3k before we even look at the court stuff and I'm never going to see it You get the picture.
    However, debt or no debt, I would spend a certain amount of my exam money on something nice for me and the kids over the 6 weeks hols. I always have, and will continue to do so. The kids are growing up fast and they won't want to do stuff with me for too much longer... I appreciate that a holiday is a luxury but the whole reason I work the second job is for me to get money to do a bit of 'luxury' stuff. The kids barely see me for the 6 weeks running into the hols and I know I don't need a lot of money to compensate for the guilt of being such a bad mam for a few weeks, but it helps a little. Hmmm. Still thinking.
    Anyway, ds woke me at ten to four this morning because he was anxious and couldn't sleep. In with me and fell back over to sleep almost straight away with a little cuddle and some reassurance. Unfortunately I didn't get back to sleep. Follow that with a 'death by 10000 paper cuts' type of day involving 9 out of 16 broken beakers in 1 practical lesson, someone being sick in my sink, not having the requested amount of photocopying done, the exit doors getting jammed shut so I couldn't get out of school at the end of my meeting, and you'll get the idea why my head isn't in the game at the moment. That, by the way, is just a small selection of the 'paper cuts' that have troubled my day.
    Not a nsd as I've done an online shop with Mr A.45. I'm sure I've paid something else as well today but I seriously cannot remember what it is.
    I'm heading off to bed now - but I will try and catch up properly as soon as I'm feeling a bit less overwhelmed and exhausted...
    NST January #10 NSD = 10 Pay all your debt off by 2020 #56 832.98/10000
    • foxgloves
    • By foxgloves 15th Jan 20, 8:50 PM
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    foxgloves
    What a massively busy & not very nice day, CCL. Hope you get a bit more sleep tonight. I was an insomniac for most of my working life & those stressful days are definitely worse after one very poor night, let alone ten days.
    Hope tomorrow will just generally be a better day.
    F x
    Money can't jump out of your purse on its own so ask 'Can I borrow one, make one, grow one, bake one, re-purpose or recycle, acquire it for free?' Yes? Then put that purse away & keep your money because little savings
    Payment received from surveys: 2015 = 320 2016 = 210 2017 = 304 2018 = 418 2019 = 227
    • f0xh0les
    • By f0xh0les 16th Jan 20, 9:57 AM
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    f0xh0les
    What I might or might not have done on my holidays.....
    Only 21 more school mornings until half term! (If you break on 14th Feb like we do). Yesterday sounded rotten.

    Just think, the whole divorcing finances thing could be over by the time of your summer holiday. Mind you, it kind of is relying on money you have not earned yet (which would scare the hell out of me), but as a proper grown up working person with an income (that would be you), I suppose that is just what working people do for holidays don't they? Sorry, I am no help whatsoever.

    I do find it funny you say your kids will not want to go on holiday with you soon, nearly all the mums on playground still go on holiday with their parents, and the parents pick up the bill! Even the ones going for 2 weeks in Mexico, the parents pay the hotel and flights - for themselves, their 2 grown up daughters and their partners and their kids, and they (the grown up kids) pay spending money and take them out to dinner or on an excurstion. You might still be doing this in their 30s and 40s!.
    MFW#65 5/16 118,3 10/17109,4 12/17 108,85/18106,9 6/18105,9, 8/18103,9 9/18102,9 10/18101,9 11/18101,3 12/18100,7 1/19 99,999 1/3 98,91/4 98,5 1/5 97,9 1/6 97,5 1/8 96,5 1/9 95,9.1/10 95,51/1194,999.99L&C Referal code- https://referme.to/GNNHtJo
    • crazy_cat_lady
    • By crazy_cat_lady 16th Jan 20, 9:40 PM
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    crazy_cat_lady
    Holy Moly f0xh0les - why has my mam never taken me and my kids on holiday? I must be doing something wrong - or she mustn't love me enough I wouldn't dream of expecting her to take us on holiday - she jets off to Cuba for 3 weeks at a time - and I would feel incredibly guilty if she paid for a holiday for us. I feel bad enough that she lent me the to pay for the new boiler last year... Mind you - she has booked to go to Bulgaria this year to check it out after my rave reviews from last year.
    I do feel a bit better today - I woke up 4x during the night, but it was a vast improvement on previous days, plus I don't feel as though I've done 10 rounds with the hormone fairy like I did yesterday. Thursday is my busiest day at work, and I'm double busy at the moment, still sorting out mock exam papers and cover work for next week. I only have 2 hours left in the morning to get it sorted and there's very little that I can be doing at home so I will have to work very efficiently in the morning or stay late after school, which will be unacceptable to ds on a Friday night.
    Have a bit of renewed vigour to tackle my debt in the feeble hope I might make enough progress to afford another holiday so I sent a little PAD to the card. It al adds up doesn't it? DS went completely off the rails because I ordered the shopping from Mr A this week instead of Mr S - because it came in 7 cheaper, but meant he couldn't have his usual brand of s0dding golden chicken. What a real first world problem. That's 2 days in a row and I will continue to do this knowing that it all adds up quite quickly even if it is a couple of pounds/pence here and there.
    Filled in a form I've been ignoring for weeks and will get it in the post tomorrow.
    Got home from work tonight to a letter from my solicitor. The next court date is through already. Durham court is clearly getting through its backlog a little bit because the previous delays have gone and it is actually very close to when the judge said it would be. Having read the letter I really feel as though this could be the last one, but I don't want to get to hopeful just to end up disappointed. I can't help myself though - the end may be in sight now... we shall see in just a few short weeks. Please people, keep everything crossed for a positive outcome because I am starting to feel a little desperate when I think about it.
    Right. I'm heading off - determined to get into bed and relax, so hopefully I can bag another decent night.
    NST January #10 NSD = 10 Pay all your debt off by 2020 #56 832.98/10000
    • SSDD23
    • By SSDD23 16th Jan 20, 10:51 PM
    • 1,959 Posts
    • 6,408 Thanks
    SSDD23
    Glad you are feeling a bit more positive CCL - hope you have a decent nights rest!
    Bad Debts Busted: 10/10
    NSD Target: 8/20
    VSP #12 11.31
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