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  • FIRST POST
    • jbkmum
    • By jbkmum 4th Nov 19, 5:00 PM
    • 235Posts
    • 397Thanks
    jbkmum
    Been here before many times
    • #1
    • 4th Nov 19, 5:00 PM
    Been here before many times 4th Nov 19 at 5:00 PM
    Hi!

    I've been here before, although last time I was married and living with my husband, son and two dogs.

    Several months later, I'm almost divorced, live in a different city and am a single mum to an 8 year old and two dogs.

    I'm currently struggling month to month, despite being on an alright wage . This is mainly because I am living pay check to pay check, and not only that, I'm deferring bills til the end of the month just to get by. The other reason is Universal Credit hasn't kicked in, due to being paid every 4 weeks I've landed right in a double reporting period so September/October AND November's childcare hasn't been paid to me (even if it was only going to be a small amount). So that's 840 that I won't see any of and it's soul destroying. Hopefully I will start to see some Universal Credit on my next payment date of December 10th. I have no idea how much though. And then my next double reporting period is probably October 2020 but not sure.

    I have worked out if I can scrape together 485.61 during November then I will be at square one, so the money I receive at the end of the month will pay for the next month and I won't have to scrabble during the month to avoid going OVER my overdraft. If I don't scrape that together, I will have to use the lodger's rent and child maintenance I will receive between 25th and 28th November to pay November's bills, BUT I really want that money to carry over to December, and thus forward.

    I have debt, but that is not my focus right now. I need to get the 485.61 raised to get back onto an even keel. Once I've done that I can rejig my budget and see if I can make any cutbacks although its unlikely to be the case for a while. I'm shelling out a disgusting amount on mobile phones, one doesn't drop off til August and I don't want to default on it. There is no room in the budget for Christmas at the moment, the thought of which is quite upsetting but I'll find a way even if its just to get DS something.

    So..... 485.61 to make.
Page 3
    • jwil
    • By jwil 11th Jan 20, 9:19 AM
    • 11,517 Posts
    • 42,864 Thanks
    jwil
    Why not try and sell as a bundle instead of individual items? Some money back, but not as much hassle?
    "If you can dream it, you can do it". Walt Disney
    • Drawingaline
    • By Drawingaline 11th Jan 20, 7:52 PM
    • 1,016 Posts
    • 3,434 Thanks
    Drawingaline
    I totally get the milk bill thing! I pay 14.15 a week to get milk and bread delivered, not the cheapest way, but like you, I was going to get milk every other day and spending 15-20 a time! So I see it as saving money, the glass bottles are environmentally friendly, and they are on my doorstep three times a week early. Totally worth it.
    • jbkmum
    • By jbkmum 14th Jan 20, 11:06 AM
    • 235 Posts
    • 397 Thanks
    jbkmum
    Why not try and sell as a bundle instead of individual items? Some money back, but not as much hassle?
    Originally posted by jwil
    That is a good idea, I have a lot of plus size clothes. I'm currently a size 14/16 but was a 26 once upon a time. I might look into that! Good idea. I think its just the enormity of the task that faces me!

    Need to see if the disney stuffed toys will wash on a handwash setting. I think one of them was 40 maybe could get 10 for it who knows.
    01/01/2020: 41,714.29
    15/01/2020: 41,561.43
    • jbkmum
    • By jbkmum 14th Jan 20, 11:12 AM
    • 235 Posts
    • 397 Thanks
    jbkmum
    I totally get the milk bill thing! I pay 14.15 a week to get milk and bread delivered, not the cheapest way, but like you, I was going to get milk every other day and spending 15-20 a time! So I see it as saving money, the glass bottles are environmentally friendly, and they are on my doorstep three times a week early. Totally worth it.
    Originally posted by Drawingaline
    Oh my goodness I love opening my door and seeing the milk. But it really has reduced how many times I go to the shop AND I actually get too much milk. Now, you'd think I'd just reduce it but.....

    Having too much milk forces me to use up the food I have. For instance, I had a loaf of stale bread in the freezer - I made bread and butter pudding and lived off that for 3 days (guilty pleasure). I make a big batch of rice pudding once a week and we eat that for pudding for a year days. The benefit of that is that I'm using all the arborio rice I have, and its super filling so I don't have to give DS snacks after dinner, just shove a huge bowl of rice pudding in front of him! I';ll admit my SO keeps "helpfully" drinking it by the pint, he doesn't live with me so it's not really that helpful if he isn't contributing..... I need to speak to him about that actually. Ie, its lovely that you spend so much time here but maybe you could buy the food rather than me? For instance, we went shopping for potatoes and carrots so we could have a roast dinner - I bought them, yet I was also providing the meat from the freezer. AND he'll take leftovers for his lunch. However there are other occasions where he does buy things. He's just used to living a bachelor life one thinks.

    I don't have any flexibility to over pay debt until I make some money now. I need to pay my childcare bill by the end of this week and then we're down to the wire. I have 33 left in the food and fuel budget, still have my 60 amazon voucher and deciding what to do with it.

    I'm desperate to get rid of this 268 asda card. Realised I have possibly some uni books I could sell and some Xbox games. In fact I've got loads of crap in my house!
    01/01/2020: 41,714.29
    15/01/2020: 41,561.43
    • jbkmum
    • By jbkmum 14th Jan 20, 11:15 AM
    • 235 Posts
    • 397 Thanks
    jbkmum
    OH and finally, Simply Be's statement arrived this morning. My APR was 58.7%!!!!!!

    No residual interest so clearly caught that just in time. Have emailed them to request the account is closed because 1) I'm not restricted to plus size clothes at an extortionate rate anymore and 2) I DON'T WANT THE CREDIT

    EDIT: Just used Simply Be's live chat to close the account....yippeeeeee
    Last edited by jbkmum; 14-01-2020 at 11:21 AM.
    01/01/2020: 41,714.29
    15/01/2020: 41,561.43
    • jwil
    • By jwil 15th Jan 20, 8:06 AM
    • 11,517 Posts
    • 42,864 Thanks
    jwil
    Great news on Simply Be
    "If you can dream it, you can do it". Walt Disney
    • jbkmum
    • By jbkmum 15th Jan 20, 10:57 AM
    • 235 Posts
    • 397 Thanks
    jbkmum
    Great news on Simply Be
    Originally posted by jwil
    I've had that account for maybe 10 years? At one point my credit limit was 2000 and I was at the limit. I got it down to 0, reduced it to 500 because at the time I was a size 26/28 and plus size clothes were so expensive.

    One of the reasons I have debt on credit cards is when I was suffering depression I spent thousands on clothes that were smaller telling myself, I'll lose weight. I never did. But I also refused to get rid of the clothes. I'm sat right now in a shirt I bought 6 years ago that is a size 16. I'm glad I didn't throw them out but then again, if I hadn't bought them I wouldn't have some of the debt. I'd say its swings and roundabouts but that's not really true!!



    So. we're down to 2.5 bottles of milk to last til Friday. I used two last night to make a big batch of rice pudding. Might have been a bit silly as partner has coffee on a morning. Although, actually no that milk only has to last til the end of Thursday as 4 bottles will turn up on Friday. And 4 more on Monday. If he decides to move in I think I might have to up it to 6 bottles on a Monday and 6 bottles on a Friday which is about 9. Not particularly money saving but I like not using plastic so I'm not changing that.

    Last night was a quick and easy dinner, I made paella in the instant pot.

    I used up the lardons DP had left in the fridge, a bit of chorizo (I always have that in), frozen onion, 500g paella rice, DIY paella seasoning (I have a huge jar, when we run out I'm going to have to find a new recipe as I lost the old one), peas, leftover roast chicken, 3 stock cubes (in reality it only needed 2). Oh and the prawns from Lidl. I don't add peppers as DS picks around them
    That particular recipe makes a huge amount, I'd forgotten I was only cooking for me and DS. However when DP arrived he had a huge bowl and I have portioned some out for him to have for lunch today and tomorrow. DS has some for dinner tonight and Thursda, he's away for the weekend at his grandmas from Friday so don't need to feed him then.

    My food budget is now very low and I know I will have a milk bill on Friday. I have 15 on a Love2Shop voucher which I can use at Iceland on Sunday to get bread, burger buns, potatoes, frozen broccoli, peppers, petit pois, cauliflower cheese, wotsits and coco pops as a weekend treat for DS (I don't like him haviung sugary cereal but I've just realised I'm being a killjoy so I'll let him have coco pops at the weekend).

    I spent 14 of my amazon voucher on mudguards so now I have 46 left.

    I intend to buy the below as I mow my way through them and buying herbs on amazon works out cheaper than teeny tiny jars.
    Coriander Seeds
    Chickpeas
    Cumin Seeds
    Italian Herbs
    Paprika
    Oregano
    Basil
    Stock Pots
    Rosemary
    Parsley
    01/01/2020: 41,714.29
    15/01/2020: 41,561.43
    • jbkmum
    • By jbkmum 17th Jan 20, 9:59 AM
    • 235 Posts
    • 397 Thanks
    jbkmum
    A friend paid me back 40 from absolutely ages ago that I had forgotten about.

    I then realised I had allocated a 60 payment to my ex to the groceries budget which is not accurate. So actually I've only spend 240 of the 300 food and fuel budget. Realistically I actually don't even need to spend 300 on food and fuel for me and DS but as I said before, I've been paying for my partners food a lot of the time and not really thinking about it. February we're doing a freezer and cupboards challenge so if he wants something different he's going to have to buy it.

    By reallocating that 60 payment it does mean I have a shortfall again but with my friends payment coming in and the 30 refund from amazon for bike lights, actually I'll be 12.77 up. Which of course....is going on debt!
    01/01/2020: 41,714.29
    15/01/2020: 41,561.43
    • jbkmum
    • By jbkmum 17th Jan 20, 2:42 PM
    • 235 Posts
    • 397 Thanks
    jbkmum
    Oh f**k.

    1200 miles over my 30k car lease mileage allowance

    They charge 66pence per sodding mile.

    That is extortionate. I'm going to have to stop driving it. At all.
    01/01/2020: 41,714.29
    15/01/2020: 41,561.43
    • jwil
    • By jwil 18th Jan 20, 8:58 AM
    • 11,517 Posts
    • 42,864 Thanks
    jwil
    Ouch to the excess mileage
    "If you can dream it, you can do it". Walt Disney
    • jbkmum
    • By jbkmum 20th Jan 20, 11:57 AM
    • 235 Posts
    • 397 Thanks
    jbkmum
    Spent yesterday reading about bankruptcy and decided against it. I'd struggle to pay my family loan back and I think the consequences of that would outweigh those of remaining on a DMP.

    I have noticed today that HSBC never defaulted me, I need to speak to them as AP markers are damaging as it will just stay on my credit file for ever. Eek!
    01/01/2020: 41,714.29
    15/01/2020: 41,561.43
    • jbkmum
    • By jbkmum 20th Jan 20, 2:01 PM
    • 235 Posts
    • 397 Thanks
    jbkmum
    Email from lease car company:

    Sorry its not 66pence per mile its 6.6pence per mile

    Meaning 1000 in excess charges....is 100.....
    01/01/2020: 41,714.29
    15/01/2020: 41,561.43
    • Drawingaline
    • By Drawingaline 20th Jan 20, 7:09 PM
    • 1,016 Posts
    • 3,434 Thanks
    Drawingaline
    Well, that's a bit better!
    • jbkmum
    • By jbkmum 20th Jan 20, 9:32 PM
    • 235 Posts
    • 397 Thanks
    jbkmum
    My reply was, well thanks sfor the 4 day heart attack! I have been so anxious and stressed. Just after I had worked out I could at least slowly clear debts, should have 60 a month after bills and min payments to work on debts. I don't know if I will have damage charges on the lease but I'll be able to pay them back at an affordable rate as I';ve been in touch with them ever since I divorced my ex so they know the situation.

    If partner moves in mid year, I'll have maybe 300 a month to throw at debt, I've worked out both scenarios but he is definitely moving in at some point. I've been honest with how finances are and he suggested moving in mid year, he can rent his house out - might air bnb it over the summer see what that is like as his house is fully furnished. And then if that works out after paying mortgage wants to help pay off debt. I said no.....I said repair your roof, replace your carpets, do the stuff you want to do to the house and then we will thinking about it. His reasoning is that the sooner I am out of the debt, the sooner we can move to a new house. I live in a city, he lives 10 miles away in between my city and the main town that I moved from. Ideally we'd like to live closer to his work and I would commute by train (as it is free for me working for the train company). But still I don't think I would learn my lesson having him pay for my debt!

    Learned today that my 2k halifax card has restarted interest because I made min payments. So its not AP its not defaulted. I don't want to default now because that adds another 6 years and I'm 18 months into defaults. So....if he moves in around May time, I can clear that card by the end of the year at about 150 interest cost. Focusing on that.

    I was originally focusing on the ASDA card but the 750 overdraft and 2000ish Halifax card need to be cleared first. I THINK new rules in April will mean my overdraft is 40% APR so that's my target at the moment. Get overdraft done.

    Two days off at the end of the week so going to ebay a few things. Not getting rid of the baby stuff just in case one day in the future I have another. I'd like to, aiming for 3 years time as hopefully debt clear by then.
    01/01/2020: 41,714.29
    15/01/2020: 41,561.43
    • jwil
    • By jwil 21st Jan 20, 5:00 PM
    • 11,517 Posts
    • 42,864 Thanks
    jwil
    That's a relief about the mileage
    "If you can dream it, you can do it". Walt Disney
    • jbkmum
    • By jbkmum 22nd Jan 20, 10:47 AM
    • 235 Posts
    • 397 Thanks
    jbkmum
    Yep it was a relief! I read the email in the car and shrieked, DP nearly crashed thinking something was wrong. He'd had to pick me up on my way home at lunch time (to walk the dogs) as I got a bike puncture half way down a hill, specifically a mile away from home. Luckily he was still at my house (off work, was heading home in the afternoon to get ready for a gig) so drove my car to get me. So, I had the lease car mileage occupying my brain, and then a puncture with no inner tube to replace it. Wasn't feeling great....

    In the interests of not going to lidl and spending money, I tried to cook from the freezer and cupboards last night. It was half a disaster half okay. I made fish cakes with frozen fish that was rubbery as 'eck. DS wouldn't eat the fishcake, it would have been nice if it had been fresh fish. Lesson learned. I made vegetable rice, basically leftover peppers, carrots, onion, garlic, rice stock. The green peppers were foul so I'll let DS off for not finishing that.

    Tonight DP is teaching a fitness class from 7 til 9.30. As he's off his main job this week, he's at mine now for a few days and I have the next two days off work. So tonight he is picking DS up from school at 3.20 which is really sweet and I'm happy that they're going to have that time together. He said the other night he hopes to be a stable influence in DS's life. DS has leftover pasta for tea, DP will have to go to the shop for food as I have nothing in that he can eat. And I'll have last nights rice for the next few days. My TV licence payment bounced today - didn't expect it to be going out if I'm honest. Payday Friday though!!

    And then its two weeks until DP moves in for a week as a trial. Gives me two weeks to empty the spare room so he can have it to do his stuff in.
    01/01/2020: 41,714.29
    15/01/2020: 41,561.43
    • jbkmum
    • By jbkmum 22nd Jan 20, 10:48 AM
    • 235 Posts
    • 397 Thanks
    jbkmum
    Oh on another note.

    I am shortly going to empty about three drawers worth of food out of my tall freezer. It has some really really old food in there and its time to let go. Some of it is so old its digusting. Going to do that tonight. Start again and only buy things I need.
    01/01/2020: 41,714.29
    15/01/2020: 41,561.43
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