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    • NotSoNeat
    • By NotSoNeat 16th Jul 19, 7:16 PM
    • 3Posts
    • 13Thanks
    18 y/o NEET needs help
    • #1
    • 16th Jul 19, 7:16 PM
    18 y/o NEET needs help 16th Jul 19 at 7:16 PM
    Hello everyone, I hope youíre all having a good day. I am writing this post to ask for advice on what I should do with myself as I am quite lost right now. I suppose I should set the scene for you: I dropped out of upper sixth form about a year ago because I was stressed and felt depressed. I then went to college for a year and dropped out of that Ė also due to depression. I have since recovered and enjoy life, but I feel like a burden on my working single mum since all I pretty much do is sit around all day. I have no interest in retrying A-levels and I donít have the confidence to get a job. I feel stuck. Do you have any advice on how I can turn my life around? (harsh criticisms welcome)
Page 1
    • MarkN88
    • By MarkN88 16th Jul 19, 7:32 PM
    • 1,104 Posts
    • 656 Thanks
    • #2
    • 16th Jul 19, 7:32 PM
    • #2
    • 16th Jul 19, 7:32 PM
    Create a CV and get applying.
    • MovingForwards
    • By MovingForwards 16th Jul 19, 7:35 PM
    • 2,533 Posts
    • 3,003 Thanks
    • #3
    • 16th Jul 19, 7:35 PM
    • #3
    • 16th Jul 19, 7:35 PM
    Get a voluntary role for a few months to build up your confidence.

    Have you received any help from your GP? Meds / counseling? If you are still not feeling right please see your GP.

    Are you claiming any benefits? If so, see what help your advisor can give you.

    Have you prepared a CV? If not, make a start on it.

    What do you want to do for work?
    • coffeehound
    • By coffeehound 16th Jul 19, 7:41 PM
    • 3,466 Posts
    • 6,239 Thanks
    • #4
    • 16th Jul 19, 7:41 PM
    • #4
    • 16th Jul 19, 7:41 PM
    Hiya. I'd say forget about further education for now. The idea of that is probably stressing you at present and causing your sense of paralysis. I agree with the others to concentrate on getting a basic job first. The great thing about life at present is that a) there are plenty of jobs around, and b) you can return to education at any age (I went back aged 33).

    Once you are in work, any sense of guilt and inner turmoil should subside leaving you clear to plan a way forward. Good luck.
    • tacpot12
    • By tacpot12 16th Jul 19, 8:00 PM
    • 2,948 Posts
    • 2,675 Thanks
    • #5
    • 16th Jul 19, 8:00 PM
    • #5
    • 16th Jul 19, 8:00 PM
    Don't worry about not being confident enough to get a job, not many people are confident until they have a skill they know is in demand.

    What did you enjoy studying?
    The comments I post are my personal opinion. While I try to check everything is correct before posting, I can and do make mistakes, so always check official information sources before relying on my posts.
    • eamon
    • By eamon 16th Jul 19, 8:24 PM
    • 1,909 Posts
    • 1,352 Thanks
    • #6
    • 16th Jul 19, 8:24 PM
    • #6
    • 16th Jul 19, 8:24 PM
    Not every young person is equipped to deal with continuing education. I suspect that you are one of those people. I'm old enough to be your grandad and if I could turn back time I would never had wasted 2 years studying for and failing A-levels. You can always catch up with your education later on.

    But you need to quickly find something that

    1. Brings in an income
    2. You enjoy and can become good at
    3. Can see yourself doing that job/career/similar work in say 5, 10, 15 years
    4. Added bonus points if employer will pay for your education/skills etc

    So I'll throw something into the mix that you may not have considered.

    Have a look at our Armed Forces (Army, Navy, Air Force). In the Iraq/Afghanistan most regiments never went anywhere the action. If one of their recruitment offices is within travel distance, make an appointment and find out more for yourself.

    Finally I have never been in the Armed Forces but If the adverts are to be believed its not all about going off to fight for Queen & country. They appear to keen to showcase all the other roles. So at the very least its worthwhile finding out more. You have nothing to loose.
    • theoretica
    • By theoretica 16th Jul 19, 9:55 PM
    • 6,060 Posts
    • 7,513 Thanks
    • #7
    • 16th Jul 19, 9:55 PM
    • #7
    • 16th Jul 19, 9:55 PM
    There are organisations which exist to help people in your situation into employment - probably your old college will know what the local ones are if you can't find out, or it is the sort of thing the local library will know, if there is still one of those in your area. They can help with sorting out what your skills are and what your realistic employment possibilities are as well as practice with interviews and help with application forms.
    But a banker, engaged at enormous expense,
    Had the whole of their cash in his care.
    Lewis Carroll
    • NotSoNeat
    • By NotSoNeat 17th Jul 19, 10:15 AM
    • 3 Posts
    • 13 Thanks
    • #8
    • 17th Jul 19, 10:15 AM
    • #8
    • 17th Jul 19, 10:15 AM
    Thanks for the replies everyone. I've just applied for 2 volunteering roles with my local council, and I am now getting in contact with the Prince's Trust. My priority right now is to build up my confidence and get in shape so that I can join the army as an electrician.
    • steampowered
    • By steampowered 17th Jul 19, 2:25 PM
    • 3,714 Posts
    • 3,828 Thanks
    • #9
    • 17th Jul 19, 2:25 PM
    • #9
    • 17th Jul 19, 2:25 PM
    You should know that lots of people feel exactly the same way when they are in their late teens and early twenties.

    There are lots of people out there who decide that college/university is not the best route for them, but don't yet know what route they want to take. That's totally normal.

    All I can suggest is that you find a job - any job - it doesn't matter what it is.

    A job helps you build a CV, helps you build self-confidence, and you will meet people / experience things that will help point the way forwards.

    You might find that you really enjoy the job and want to move forward in that particular career path. Even if you don't like it you will still learn something from it and it will help you move on to the next one.
    • nalimcc
    • By nalimcc 17th Jul 19, 3:14 PM
    • 22 Posts
    • 29 Thanks
    Just want to say I was in a similar position - dropped out of Uni when I was 19 and stayed in my room all day every day, too anxious to look for work. Would probably still be there if my mum hadn't given me a kick up the bum and told me to get a job.

    Like others have said, get ANY job you can. I'd recommend a retail job - easier to get into and can help build your confidence. Don't get me wrong, they're a nightmare at times but that can help motivate you. Sometimes you need to get a taste of actual life instead of being stuck in a classroom feeling like you're not good enough.
    • Dox
    • By Dox 17th Jul 19, 3:46 PM
    • 1,695 Posts
    • 1,280 Thanks
    People of all ages play the 'I don't have the confidence...' card to get out of doing things they think they would find stressful. One of the best ways to build confidence is to succeed at something - pretty much anything will do. Make sure you pick a goal you can realistically achieve, rather than setting yourself up for failure and thus 'proving' you aren't up to whatever it was you were trying to do.
    • Sea Shell
    • By Sea Shell 17th Jul 19, 3:46 PM
    • 2,846 Posts
    • 5,094 Thanks
    Sea Shell
    I agree with the others about getting a job...however, while you're looking, don't forget to pull your weight at home. Don't just "sit around all day", help your mum at EVERY opportunity. Running a household takes up many hours "work", so there is always something to be done!!
    " That pound I saved yesterday, is a pound I don't have to earn tomorrow " JOB DONE!!
    This should now read "It's time to start digging up those Squirrelled Nuts"!!!
    • sazaccount
    • By sazaccount 17th Jul 19, 6:42 PM
    • 447 Posts
    • 409 Thanks
    Thanks for the replies everyone. I've just applied for 2 volunteering roles with my local council, and I am now getting in contact with the Prince's Trust. My priority right now is to build up my confidence and get in shape so that I can join the army as an electrician.
    Originally posted by NotSoNeat
    Not sure if this will help in your situation or if you have the starting funds (or if you can swim) but if your looking to get into shape and for work have a look around your local pools for a lifeguarding qualification course you don't need to be really "fit" for the course I've seen a guy go from non swimmer to lifeguard in the matter of weeks, the course is around 300 but once your qualified work especially over the summer is there, most pools also give you free access to the gym. My younger brother has like 0 confidence in new situations and is thriving as a lifeguard even if I did write his CV complete most of the job application and drive him to the interview (I'm pretty sure he would of got me to do the interview if that was possible as well )

    Or if you have a local facebook group for your town put up a post asking if there is any work going if your not too fussed what you do while waiting for the military to get back to you/training for the fitness.
    Thanks to money saving tips and debt repayments/becoming debt free I have been able to work and travel for the last 4 years visiting 12 countries and working within 3 of them. Currently living and working in Canada
    • skint_chick
    • By skint_chick 17th Jul 19, 7:04 PM
    • 789 Posts
    • 5,659 Thanks
    Have you looked at college for electrician type courses - if this is what you'd like to do as a career then it might be better to go to college and try an electrician's course in September before you're 19 and have to pay for it. You would then get a student card and get discount on the gym membership too. It wouldn't be the same as A Levels because you would have a genuine interest in the subject and it would give you practical skills and maybe you could find a local electrician who was willing to let you shadow them and learn that way.

    If you don't know what to do for a job then maybe working in a takeaway answering the phones and taking orders, working part-time in a shop, something that will pay for your phone/gym/give your mum some money for food and bills while you figure out your steps to joining the army.
    "I cannot make my days longer so I strive to make them better." Paul Theroux
    • Potbellypig
    • By Potbellypig 18th Jul 19, 10:41 AM
    • 545 Posts
    • 395 Thanks
    Further education isn't for everyone. It certainly wasn't for me. Park that bus for now.

    But don't beat yourself up about it. Retail, warehouses, production lines are all jobs that you can get without the need for qualifications or experience. Getting a job like that will help with your mental health as you'll have a structured day/week to plan your life around. Exercise will really help too.

    Good luck.
    • Doshwaster
    • By Doshwaster 18th Jul 19, 10:56 AM
    • 5,298 Posts
    • 4,344 Thanks
    Thanks for the replies everyone. I've just applied for 2 volunteering roles with my local council, and I am now getting in contact with the Prince's Trust. My priority right now is to build up my confidence and get in shape so that I can join the army as an electrician.
    Originally posted by NotSoNeat
    Well, the army certainly won't allow you to sit around all day!

    If it helps, One of my best mates at school joined the RAF as an electrician apprenticeship when he dropped out of his A Levels, was always getting into trouble and didn't have a clue what to do with his life. It really was the making of him - he served all around the world and worked his way up to be a senior engineer on the Eurofighter. He's now retired from the RAF and has a good job with an engineering firm.
    • RedfordML
    • By RedfordML 19th Jul 19, 11:13 AM
    • 796 Posts
    • 401 Thanks
    How about a supermarket job?

    Ideal "first" job, you learn plenty of skills, including communication and teamwork.

    Also, ive always found them to great for socials.

    I would then look at an ACCESS course at College? Plenty of options but not as academically challenging as A Levels but can open up future options. (If you decide against Army)

    Combining the two, could also be a option?

    Last edited by RedfordML; 19-07-2019 at 11:16 AM.
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