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  • FIRST POST
    • karenandrei
    • By karenandrei 14th Apr 19, 4:13 PM
    • 16Posts
    • 9Thanks
    karenandrei
    Debt depression
    • #1
    • 14th Apr 19, 4:13 PM
    Debt depression 14th Apr 19 at 4:13 PM
    I donít know if I should have started a new thread or not but I just wanted to explain my situation.

    My husband have always seemed to struggle with debt for as long as I can remember. I also suffer with depression and was first diagnosed in 2002. I am on anti depressants. My husband also suffers with depression although he hasnít sought treatment and copes with it better than I do.

    I work full time and my husband works for an agency so works intermittently.

    We signed up to a DMP with StepChange in January and made our first payment at the end of March. Although this was a relief up to a point as we have a lot of creditors, it leaves us very little money to live on. We have £30,000 of debts. Some of this was our fault (although due in some part to our depression) and some not (e.g sickness). I think our debt free date is January 2030.

    My depression is showing no sign of improving at the moment, although I am just about managing to still go to work. I have just changed my medication again as the last lot was making me feel worse.

    Basically I cannot see any hope. As I said, we donít have a lot of money left over each money to enjoy ourselves with. I am being bombarded with emails Iíve signed up to suggesting ideas of what to do over Easter, and I know we wonít be doing anything. It just adds to my depression.

    What really upsets me is knowing that it will be like this forever - there is no light at the end of the tunnel. The only way we could afford a holiday for example is if we won the lottery. We have been married over 25 years and only had two proper holidays, and have never been abroad together. I cannot see any light at the end of the tunnel (unless you count being debt free in 2030). We do not go out at weekends as we canít afford it. This makes going to work even harder.

    How do I find the strength to carry on, knowing that we are trapped and there is nothing we can do to change things? Can anyone give me some advice?

    I am sorry this post is so long, I didnít intend it to be.
Page 2
    • Ben75
    • By Ben75 16th Apr 19, 7:39 AM
    • 57 Posts
    • 49 Thanks
    Ben75
    A DMP is an informal arrangement, so you are not locked into your current agreement. In my experience, creditors are happy as long as you are paying them something as it gives them confidence they will get their money back and if you let them know you find the current arrangement unaffordable they would probably prefer to take a bit less knowing its going to be sustainable.

    YNAB is a piece of budgeting software called You Need a Budget. I have been using it for several years now, but you do have to pay for it. I am unaware whether there are better alternatives available - perhaps others can advise if they are. If you don't already do this, It would mean you are budgeting each month's money in advance and are aware of where its all going so you can make sure you make the most of it.
    • sammyjammy
    • By sammyjammy 16th Apr 19, 1:25 PM
    • 4,527 Posts
    • 4,962 Thanks
    sammyjammy
    My husbandís a blind as a bat and canít afford new glasses! I will give it another try however - as you say, anythingís better than nothing.
    Originally posted by karenandrei




    Some survey sites are better than others, try Opinion Outpost, they pay out to paypal so you can get cash and you also only have to have 50 points for a pay out, 50 points is equivalent to £2.50. You can earn that in one sitting and they have plenty of surveys.


    Power of Opinions is also good although it takes longer for a payout and you have to get to a min of £10 for you can cash it in there are lots of surveys.


    YouGov is well paid but you have to reach 5000 points which is £50 before payout, I get to this at east twice a year.
    "You've been reading SOS when it's just your clock reading 5:05 "
    • karenandrei
    • By karenandrei 16th Apr 19, 8:18 PM
    • 16 Posts
    • 9 Thanks
    karenandrei
    Please don't take this the wrong way but with your husband's age and him having about 45% of the debt why not look at a DRO, especially as he isn't in permanent work, it would then give you a breather to work out what is the best way forward with yours.

    Specsavers do glasses for £25, they are also better than nothing.
    Originally posted by MovingForwards
    I cant remember if a DRO was recommended to us, but itís something we will look into.

    Weíll have a look at getting some cheap glasses as well.
    • karenandrei
    • By karenandrei 16th Apr 19, 8:20 PM
    • 16 Posts
    • 9 Thanks
    karenandrei
    A DMP is an informal arrangement, so you are not locked into your current agreement. In my experience, creditors are happy as long as you are paying them something as it gives them confidence they will get their money back and if you let them know you find the current arrangement unaffordable they would probably prefer to take a bit less knowing its going to be sustainable.

    YNAB is a piece of budgeting software called You Need a Budget. I have been using it for several years now, but you do have to pay for it. I am unaware whether there are better alternatives available - perhaps others can advise if they are. If you don't already do this, It would mean you are budgeting each month's money in advance and are aware of where its all going so you can make sure you make the most of it.
    Originally posted by Ben75
    Do you think itís worth the money? I might see if I can find a free alternative.
    • karenandrei
    • By karenandrei 16th Apr 19, 8:22 PM
    • 16 Posts
    • 9 Thanks
    karenandrei
    Some survey sites are better than others, try Opinion Outpost, they pay out to paypal so you can get cash and you also only have to have 50 points for a pay out, 50 points is equivalent to £2.50. You can earn that in one sitting and they have plenty of surveys.


    Power of Opinions is also good although it takes longer for a payout and you have to get to a min of £10 for you can cash it in there are lots of surveys.


    YouGov is well paid but you have to reach 5000 points which is £50 before payout, I get to this at east twice a year.
    Originally posted by sammyjammy
    Okay, thank you.
    • Clouds88
    • By Clouds88 16th Apr 19, 10:27 PM
    • 167 Posts
    • 155 Thanks
    Clouds88
    Karen I would definitely look into insolvency, in the form of a Debt relief order for husband, as long as his debt total is under 20,000 and none of them Fraudulent, student loans or child maintenance payments it would a one of payment of £90 and lasts a year and then he is free from his debt, simple as that.

    For you- have a look at a DRO also, but you need to have less than £50 spare each month but put up a statement of affairs showing your income ect and people can make suggestions on cutting areas or putting more money into others if it looks a bit scrimp.

    My husband suffers with mental health problems and I know that it can seem
    Like nothing is worth it and what is the point but on these forums people want to help others and hopefully we can help you find a solution which will make you feel a bit more positive.
    • karenandrei
    • By karenandrei 17th Apr 19, 8:50 PM
    • 16 Posts
    • 9 Thanks
    karenandrei
    Karen I would definitely look into insolvency, in the form of a Debt relief order for husband, as long as his debt total is under 20,000 and none of them Fraudulent, student loans or child maintenance payments it would a one of payment of £90 and lasts a year and then he is free from his debt, simple as that.

    For you- have a look at a DRO also, but you need to have less than £50 spare each month but put up a statement of affairs showing your income ect and people can make suggestions on cutting areas or putting more money into others if it looks a bit scrimp.

    My husband suffers with mental health problems and I know that it can seem
    Like nothing is worth it and what is the point but on these forums people want to help others and hopefully we can help you find a solution which will make you feel a bit more positive.
    Originally posted by Clouds88
    We did talk about it last night, but my husband doesnít want his name to go on the public register and to be honest I donít think Iíd want mine on it either.

    I do appreciate all the advice I am receiving though x
    • katsu
    • By katsu 18th Apr 19, 6:37 AM
    • 4,436 Posts
    • 13,869 Thanks
    katsu
    I wonder who you know who would look at the public register and care that your husband was listed there? Or yourself if your work doesn't prevent it?

    If you are both unhappy with your quality of life on the dmp then it may be a better option to go for a dro?

    Or if you would like to share here the budget you made with step change, people may have other ideas for adjusting it?
    Debt at highest: £8k Debt Free 31/12/2009 (nine years and counting ) Original MFD: May 2036. MF Dec 2018
    • katsu
    • By katsu 18th Apr 19, 6:39 AM
    • 4,436 Posts
    • 13,869 Thanks
    katsu
    Do you have a B&Q near you? They always used to be a shop that was very positive about employing older people.

    Office cleaning might be another option?
    Debt at highest: £8k Debt Free 31/12/2009 (nine years and counting ) Original MFD: May 2036. MF Dec 2018
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