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  • FIRST POST
    • karenandrei
    • By karenandrei 14th Apr 19, 4:13 PM
    • 16Posts
    • 9Thanks
    karenandrei
    Debt depression
    • #1
    • 14th Apr 19, 4:13 PM
    Debt depression 14th Apr 19 at 4:13 PM
    I donít know if I should have started a new thread or not but I just wanted to explain my situation.

    My husband have always seemed to struggle with debt for as long as I can remember. I also suffer with depression and was first diagnosed in 2002. I am on anti depressants. My husband also suffers with depression although he hasnít sought treatment and copes with it better than I do.

    I work full time and my husband works for an agency so works intermittently.

    We signed up to a DMP with StepChange in January and made our first payment at the end of March. Although this was a relief up to a point as we have a lot of creditors, it leaves us very little money to live on. We have £30,000 of debts. Some of this was our fault (although due in some part to our depression) and some not (e.g sickness). I think our debt free date is January 2030.

    My depression is showing no sign of improving at the moment, although I am just about managing to still go to work. I have just changed my medication again as the last lot was making me feel worse.

    Basically I cannot see any hope. As I said, we donít have a lot of money left over each money to enjoy ourselves with. I am being bombarded with emails Iíve signed up to suggesting ideas of what to do over Easter, and I know we wonít be doing anything. It just adds to my depression.

    What really upsets me is knowing that it will be like this forever - there is no light at the end of the tunnel. The only way we could afford a holiday for example is if we won the lottery. We have been married over 25 years and only had two proper holidays, and have never been abroad together. I cannot see any light at the end of the tunnel (unless you count being debt free in 2030). We do not go out at weekends as we canít afford it. This makes going to work even harder.

    How do I find the strength to carry on, knowing that we are trapped and there is nothing we can do to change things? Can anyone give me some advice?

    I am sorry this post is so long, I didnít intend it to be.
Page 1
    • MovingForwards
    • By MovingForwards 14th Apr 19, 4:43 PM
    • 776 Posts
    • 929 Thanks
    MovingForwards
    • #2
    • 14th Apr 19, 4:43 PM
    • #2
    • 14th Apr 19, 4:43 PM
    Do you rent or own your home (with or without a mortgage)?

    Do either of you work in finance or law etc?

    What is your income per month and how much you paying on the DMP?
    • karenandrei
    • By karenandrei 14th Apr 19, 5:26 PM
    • 16 Posts
    • 9 Thanks
    karenandrei
    • #3
    • 14th Apr 19, 5:26 PM
    • #3
    • 14th Apr 19, 5:26 PM
    Hi

    We rent from the council. I work in law.

    I get £1406. My husband hasn’t had any assignments this year.

    We are paying £228 on the DMP.
    • Karonher
    • By Karonher 14th Apr 19, 6:19 PM
    • 558 Posts
    • 2,221 Thanks
    Karonher
    • #4
    • 14th Apr 19, 6:19 PM
    • #4
    • 14th Apr 19, 6:19 PM
    Are there other agencies your husband could sign up to? It does sound as if the one he is with is not much use to you.
    Getting ready for Christmas 2019

    Aiming to make £5,000 online in 2019.
    • MovingForwards
    • By MovingForwards 14th Apr 19, 7:53 PM
    • 776 Posts
    • 929 Thanks
    MovingForwards
    • #5
    • 14th Apr 19, 7:53 PM
    • #5
    • 14th Apr 19, 7:53 PM
    Are any of the debts joint debts? If not then your husband could look into debt relief order for his (as long as they are less than £20k and some other requirements), especially as he is not currently working.

    I know some law firms are not very open to staff having IVAs / bankruptcy so neither are probably an option for you.

    Did stepchange discuss any other options with you?

    As with a DMP you still are allowed a small budget to live over and above just paying rent/bills/food/debt etc.
    • karenandrei
    • By karenandrei 14th Apr 19, 8:05 PM
    • 16 Posts
    • 9 Thanks
    karenandrei
    • #6
    • 14th Apr 19, 8:05 PM
    • #6
    • 14th Apr 19, 8:05 PM
    Are there other agencies your husband could sign up to? It does sound as if the one he is with is not much use to you.
    Originally posted by Karonher
    He is signed up to one other one but he hasnít had anything from them. Unfortunately he had to turn down some assignments earlier on in the year because I was ill (he works away). He should hopefully be starting another one on the 23rd April for two weeks.
    • karenandrei
    • By karenandrei 14th Apr 19, 8:22 PM
    • 16 Posts
    • 9 Thanks
    karenandrei
    • #7
    • 14th Apr 19, 8:22 PM
    • #7
    • 14th Apr 19, 8:22 PM
    Are any of the debts joint debts? If not then your husband could look into debt relief order for his (as long as they are less than £20k and some other requirements), especially as he is not currently working.

    I know some law firms are not very open to staff having IVAs / bankruptcy so neither are probably an option for you.

    Did stepchange discuss any other options with you?

    As with a DMP you still are allowed a small budget to live over and above just paying rent/bills/food/debt etc.
    Originally posted by MovingForwards
    None of the debts are joint debts. We were given all the options, but StepChange advised a DMP was the best option (and we agreed).

    StepChange allowed us £25 per month for emergencies.
    • EssexHebridean
    • By EssexHebridean 14th Apr 19, 8:39 PM
    • 9,181 Posts
    • 48,168 Thanks
    EssexHebridean
    • #8
    • 14th Apr 19, 8:39 PM
    • #8
    • 14th Apr 19, 8:39 PM
    An easy fix for the emails for a start - go through them one at a time, scroll to the bottom, find "unsubscribe" and click on it. It won't give you any more money to live on but it will at least mean that you're not having it rubbed in your face every time you log in to your email!

    One thing you could consider is doing online surveys for a bit of extra spending money? There are all sorts of companies offering anything from 10p for something taking 20 seconds to several pounds for longer surveys - you're not going to make your fortune on it but it could potentially add a bit to the pot for you.
    MORTGAGE FREE 30/09/2016
    SOA CALCULATOR (for DFW newbies): Stoozing.com SOA Calculator
    • karenandrei
    • By karenandrei 15th Apr 19, 5:53 AM
    • 16 Posts
    • 9 Thanks
    karenandrei
    • #9
    • 15th Apr 19, 5:53 AM
    • #9
    • 15th Apr 19, 5:53 AM
    An easy fix for the emails for a start - go through them one at a time, scroll to the bottom, find "unsubscribe" and click on it. It won't give you any more money to live on but it will at least mean that you're not having it rubbed in your face every time you log in to your email!

    One thing you could consider is doing online surveys for a bit of extra spending money? There are all sorts of companies offering anything from 10p for something taking 20 seconds to several pounds for longer surveys - you're not going to make your fortune on it but it could potentially add a bit to the pot for you.
    Originally posted by EssexHebridean
    Thanks for the reply. Yes, youíre right about the emails and itís something I will do.

    I have tried surveys before but it used to take an age to complete them and I didnít make a lot from it. To be honest I tend to go to bed early most nights now so I wouldnít have enough time to do them.
    • EssexHebridean
    • By EssexHebridean 15th Apr 19, 12:10 PM
    • 9,181 Posts
    • 48,168 Thanks
    EssexHebridean
    The surveys are something that your husband could do during the times he has less work via the agency though? You get quicker with them the more you do, too. Might be worth bearing in mid for those odd moments when you find yourself sitting down in front of the TV with time to kill - even an extra £5 Costa coffee voucher is a little luxury that the two of you can share that couldn't otherwise be afforded, no?
    MORTGAGE FREE 30/09/2016
    SOA CALCULATOR (for DFW newbies): Stoozing.com SOA Calculator
    • sourcrates
    • By sourcrates 15th Apr 19, 12:28 PM
    • 16,975 Posts
    • 15,984 Thanks
    sourcrates
    Hi,


    How old are all these accounts you have, how much debt is yours, and how much is your husbands ?


    Have you ever sent CCA requests to see if the creditors all hold legal paperwork to enforce the debts ?


    Any reason why insolvency or bankrupcy has not been mentioned ?


    You sound very down in the dumps about all this, and seem to be accepting of your situation without question, well i dont subscribe to that train of thought, there are plenty of things you can do to improve your situation, even something small like an increase to your budget, stepchange can only recomend, they cannot make demands of you, if your budget does not stretch, then increase it, tell them your struggling on the budget you have, increase it to a level thats good for you, then tell them the new figure, no ifs, no buts, its your DMP not theirs.


    You need to take back a bit of control here otherwise this is going to pray on your mind worse than the debt did.
    Last edited by sourcrates; 15-04-2019 at 8:04 PM.
    I'm a Board Guide on the Debt-Free Wannabe, Credit File And Ratings, and
    Bankruptcy And Living With It, boards. "I volunteer to help get your forum questions answered and keep the forum running smoothly".

    Board guides are not moderators and don't read every post. If you spot an abusive or illegal post then please report it to forumteam@moneysavingexpert.com. Any views are mine and not the official line of MoneySavingExpert.com.

    For free debt advice, contact either : Stepchange, National Debtline, or, CAB.
    • karenandrei
    • By karenandrei 15th Apr 19, 5:48 PM
    • 16 Posts
    • 9 Thanks
    karenandrei
    The surveys are something that your husband could do during the times he has less work via the agency though? You get quicker with them the more you do, too. Might be worth bearing in mid for those odd moments when you find yourself sitting down in front of the TV with time to kill - even an extra £5 Costa coffee voucher is a little luxury that the two of you can share that couldn't otherwise be afforded, no?
    Originally posted by EssexHebridean
    My husbandís a blind as a bat and canít afford new glasses! I will give it another try however - as you say, anythingís better than nothing.
    • kazwookie
    • By kazwookie 15th Apr 19, 5:58 PM
    • 10,464 Posts
    • 127,553 Thanks
    kazwookie
    My husbandís a blind as a bat and canít afford new glasses! I will give it another try however - as you say, anythingís better than nothing.
    Originally posted by karenandrei
    If your husband cannot see with his current glasses how is he going to manage when he starts his new temp job?

    Has your husband applied to local shops / supermarkets etc? if not I suggest you get his CV checked and get it handed around.

    Can either of you claim any benefits? have you both checked?


    Do you have anything you can sell. (FB / ebay etc)
    Sun, Sea
    Slinky is back on! - 21 and counting
    I can do this, I will do this...
    • Ben75
    • By Ben75 15th Apr 19, 6:01 PM
    • 57 Posts
    • 49 Thanks
    Ben75
    Have you considered ...
    ... managing the DMP yourself?

    Only deal with them in writing, they can't reasonably refuse this. Set a budget and repayments you are comfortable with. Even though this might seem it will take you longer to repay your debts, research full and final settlements there is plenty of info and advice about them on this forum.

    Good luck with whatever you decide to do
    • Ben75
    • By Ben75 15th Apr 19, 6:02 PM
    • 57 Posts
    • 49 Thanks
    Ben75
    Oh yes, and look into getting YNAB (or something similar if anything better has come along recently) its been a game changer for me
    • karenandrei
    • By karenandrei 15th Apr 19, 7:56 PM
    • 16 Posts
    • 9 Thanks
    karenandrei
    Hi,


    How old are all these accounts you have, how much debt is yours, and how much is your husbands ?


    Have you ever send CCA requests to see if the creditors all hold legal paperwork to enforce the debts ?


    Any reason why insolvency or bankrupcy has not been mentioned ?


    You sound very down in the dumps about all this, and seem to be accepting of your situation without question, well i dont subscribe to that train of thought, there are plenty of things you can do to improve your situation, even something small like an increase to your budget, stepchange can only recomend, they cannot make demands of you, if your budget does not stretch, then increase it, tell them your struggling on the budget you have, increase it to a level thats good for you, then tell them the new figure, no ifs, no buts, its your DMP not theirs.


    You need to take back a bit of control here otherwise this is going to pray on your mind worse than the debt did.
    Originally posted by sourcrates
    Hi

    I would say about 45% of the debts are my husbands. None of the debts are that old really, I think all accrued within the last six years. We got into one of those situations where we took out further credit to pay off other credit.

    No, weíve never sent any CCA requests - would it be too late now weíre signed up to a DMP?

    There were other options put to us, but a DMP seemed the best option and StepChange agreed.

    I agree that I have accepted our situation - I thought it would make me feel better getting into a DMP but Iím not sure it has. I will look at the budget again because I do think it was slightly unrealistic.

    Thank you for your advice
    • karenandrei
    • By karenandrei 15th Apr 19, 8:07 PM
    • 16 Posts
    • 9 Thanks
    karenandrei
    If your husband cannot see with his current glasses how is he going to manage when he starts his new temp job?

    Has your husband applied to local shops / supermarkets etc? if not I suggest you get his CV checked and get it handed around.

    Can either of you claim any benefits? have you both checked?


    Do you have anything you can sell. (FB / ebay etc)
    Originally posted by kazwookie
    I think I may have been exaggerating slightly about my husbandís eyesight! Itís just that we donít have a laptop anymore, only a tablet so he struggles to read on it. He has tried the local supermarkets etc but he cannot get anything. He is 63 and employers seem reluctant to take him on.

    I did another benefits check yesterday but unfortunately we are not eligible for anything. We havenít got anything of value.
    • karenandrei
    • By karenandrei 15th Apr 19, 8:11 PM
    • 16 Posts
    • 9 Thanks
    karenandrei
    ... managing the DMP yourself?

    Only deal with them in writing, they can't reasonably refuse this. Set a budget and repayments you are comfortable with. Even though this might seem it will take you longer to repay your debts, research full and final settlements there is plenty of info and advice about them on this forum.

    Good luck with whatever you decide to do
    Originally posted by Ben75
    Wouldnít it be too late? We did think of pulling out but payments have been agreed with all our creditors and Iím not sure if our creditors would accept lower payments?
    • karenandrei
    • By karenandrei 15th Apr 19, 8:12 PM
    • 16 Posts
    • 9 Thanks
    karenandrei
    Oh yes, and look into getting YNAB (or something similar if anything better has come along recently) its been a game changer for me
    Originally posted by Ben75
    Excuse my ignorance but what is a YNAB?
    • MovingForwards
    • By MovingForwards 15th Apr 19, 8:23 PM
    • 776 Posts
    • 929 Thanks
    MovingForwards
    Please don't take this the wrong way but with your husband's age and him having about 45% of the debt why not look at a DRO, especially as he isn't in permanent work, it would then give you a breather to work out what is the best way forward with yours.

    Specsavers do glasses for £25, they are also better than nothing.
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