Your browser isn't supported
It looks like you're using an old web browser. To get the most out of the site and to ensure guides display correctly, we suggest upgrading your browser now. Download the latest:

Welcome to the MSE Forums

We're home to a fantastic community of MoneySavers but anyone can post. Please exercise caution & report spam, illegal, offensive or libellous posts/messages: click "report" or email forumteam@.

Search
  • FIRST POST
    • Mazkay
    • By Mazkay 13th Apr 19, 9:02 AM
    • 2Posts
    • 0Thanks
    Mazkay
    Stuck - Ex partner taking the house but not buying me out!!
    • #1
    • 13th Apr 19, 9:02 AM
    Stuck - Ex partner taking the house but not buying me out!! 13th Apr 19 at 9:02 AM
    Any advice would be greatly appreciated. I work part-time, ex partner is full time. We broke up. Me being part time nearly impossible to afford mortgage and bills on my own. He's refuses to move out. So I've had to rent a room somewhere.
    Problem is, the bank he's with has only been able to approve a new mortgage for him, paying off a joint loan, but no pay out to me (I can't have a mortgage being part time). The house is worth at least 10k above the mortgage cost and loan. That's 5k each, and that's based on the lowest property valuation.

    If I demand my share, he more than likely will move out in protest and leave me paying the bills and mortgage with all of my wage. Nothing left over for groceries/food or transport.
    I've tried Citizens Advice Bureau, but the phone lines are constantly busy. Obvious one solution is finding someone to rent a room out to.., but coming from someone that's been renting during this situation and close by, there's no one interested in renting.

    Everyone is screaming at me to not sign away the house without payment. But without a solution, I can't see any other way.

    Thank you for reading all of this. Just need to talk through any options more than anything.
Page 1
    • bigisi
    • By bigisi 13th Apr 19, 9:20 AM
    • 555 Posts
    • 996 Thanks
    bigisi
    • #2
    • 13th Apr 19, 9:20 AM
    • #2
    • 13th Apr 19, 9:20 AM
    Move back in. He’ll soon get the message.
    • Linton
    • By Linton 13th Apr 19, 9:21 AM
    • 10,585 Posts
    • 10,939 Thanks
    Linton
    • #3
    • 13th Apr 19, 9:21 AM
    • #3
    • 13th Apr 19, 9:21 AM
    From what you say it sounds like both of the shares in the house are worth very little, especially after costs are taken into account. The property valuation is a guide only - the house could turn out to be in negative equity. Under those circumstances is it worth the hassle? Easiest if the ex takes on the mortgage and responsibility for the loan leaving you with no encumbhrances and so able to get on with your life.
    • Gav75
    • By Gav75 13th Apr 19, 9:27 AM
    • 17 Posts
    • 20 Thanks
    Gav75
    • #4
    • 13th Apr 19, 9:27 AM
    • #4
    • 13th Apr 19, 9:27 AM
    So the mortgage is currently in both of your names, but he's getting a mortgage only in his name, which will also pay a joint loan you both have?


    I suppose this all depends on if the current mortgage is also in your name......because if it isn't, he's going to pay off a joint loan you both have (if I've read that right) but not give you half of a 'possible' £10,000 equity in the house? If I'm honest with you that seems fair to me.


    Being part time wouldn't stop you being on a joint mortgage by the way. So I'm unsure why his current bank would only approve a new mortgage for him?
    • AdrianC
    • By AdrianC 13th Apr 19, 9:32 AM
    • 21,907 Posts
    • 20,632 Thanks
    AdrianC
    • #5
    • 13th Apr 19, 9:32 AM
    • #5
    • 13th Apr 19, 9:32 AM
    Problem is, the bank he's with has only been able to approve a new mortgage for him, paying off a joint loan, but no pay out to me (I can't have a mortgage being part time). The house is worth at least 10k above the mortgage cost and loan. That's 5k each, and that's based on the lowest property valuation.
    Originally posted by Mazkay
    Your choice is a simple one - either he buys your joint ownership from you, or it goes on the market.

    £10k of equity in the property is not much, and in the event of a sale it'd be very easy to see that disappear in a little bit of prep, some negotiation and EA/legal fees - as well as a few more months of mortgage interest. You could even end up with less than the current nothing. So perhaps if you agreed to him paying you, say, £2,500? Maybe £500-1k now and the rest over the next 6-12 months?


    Can the two of you trust each other to have a sensible, adult discussion about this without descending into recriminations about the relationship...? Is there somebody you both trust who could act as a moderator to keep you on track?
    • onwards&upwards
    • By onwards&upwards 13th Apr 19, 9:40 AM
    • 216 Posts
    • 410 Thanks
    onwards&upwards
    • #6
    • 13th Apr 19, 9:40 AM
    • #6
    • 13th Apr 19, 9:40 AM
    For 5k just walk away.

    If you had to sell you would be paying for estate agents, extra solicitor costs etc and would likely lose a lot of that anyway.

    If you try to insist on him giving you 5k and drag it out you stand to lose much more.

    Let him have the hous3, clean break, start again.
    • markin
    • By markin 13th Apr 19, 1:13 PM
    • 201 Posts
    • 250 Thanks
    markin
    • #7
    • 13th Apr 19, 1:13 PM
    • #7
    • 13th Apr 19, 1:13 PM
    How long have you had it, and how much is paid off? How much deposit did you both put in?


    It would think it would be fairer to force a sale.
    • tacpot12
    • By tacpot12 13th Apr 19, 1:50 PM
    • 2,296 Posts
    • 2,002 Thanks
    tacpot12
    • #8
    • 13th Apr 19, 1:50 PM
    • #8
    • 13th Apr 19, 1:50 PM
    Another recent poster on MSE had a problem a joint loan where the ex wouldn't make any payment towards it. At least your ex is happy to clear all the joint borrowing you have so that you are unencumbered and cannot have a CCJ against you because he decides not to pay at some point.

    As others have said, for the amount involved, I would walk away and be happy that you were able to achieve a clean break.

    You have the option to do more work so that you can save for a deposit and pay a mortgage. It's always tough when a relationship breaks down, but given that this has happened, you should focus on bringing enough money in to make your dreams happen.
    The comments I post are my personal opinion. While I try to check everything is correct before posting, I can and do make mistakes, so always check official information sources before relying on my posts.
    • Mazkay
    • By Mazkay 16th Apr 19, 2:43 PM
    • 2 Posts
    • 0 Thanks
    Mazkay
    • #9
    • 16th Apr 19, 2:43 PM
    • #9
    • 16th Apr 19, 2:43 PM
    For some reason I've not been notified of the responses.

    Bigisi, I am unable to move back in as he has a tendancy to be confrontationally unreasonable to put it politely. One of the reasons for our rift.

    Linton, I am starting to realise the shares aren't worth very much either (after much research), it's more sentimental for myself, as this property has been in my family for three generations, and he fully knows the history. I am also very scared of rejecting transfer of equity, and then the house sells without clearing the loan, which is in joint names.

    Adrian, I thought my choice was simple too, he pays me £5k or I pay him £5K, banks will not stretch that far with his salary or mine even though he is full time. Sensible adult discussion? - not sure he's capable - you know what they say, you only truely know someone once you live with them. Lesson learnt I guess!

    Onwards and Tacpot, After having my family and friends grill me for leaving the house (for my own health) telling me I'm crazy to walk away without anything, I've been trying to figure out the fairest solution. Even though he is a **** I am a fair person. Strangely enough I was initally granted a mortgage and the loan cleared before christmas but he refused to move out for wanting at least £5k. Now he wants me to sign over without a share!

    Time to tell the folks I'm losing the family house, but fresh start.. Thank you guys. I needed the impatial advice.
    • hazyjo
    • By hazyjo 16th Apr 19, 4:47 PM
    • 11,609 Posts
    • 15,497 Thanks
    hazyjo
    For some reason I've not been notified of the responses.
    Originally posted by Mazkay
    Go to Thread Tools / Subscribe to this thread


    Choose what notifications you want.
    2019 wins: Bottle of Prosecco; Popcorn Shed popcorn...
    • goodwithsaving
    • By goodwithsaving 16th Apr 19, 4:57 PM
    • 948 Posts
    • 1,553 Thanks
    goodwithsaving
    Honestly, just be done with it. I wouldn't usually advise that but it's a sum which isn't worth fighting and fighting over (as galling as it is giving in) and the relief you will feel when you walk away will be worth every penny.
    • RSloan
    • By RSloan 24th Apr 19, 5:59 PM
    • 8 Posts
    • 0 Thanks
    RSloan
    I’m in a similar position too and now I feel I’ve been mugged over by my ex wife. I gave her and the children the house and walked away. I didn’t even know about equity etc or being bought out. We paid the mortgage together, we married, I was on the mortgage until the divorce and I walked away giving her the transfer of ownership. Is it now a case of horse, door, bolted?
    • AdrianC
    • By AdrianC 24th Apr 19, 6:08 PM
    • 21,907 Posts
    • 20,632 Thanks
    AdrianC
    Absolutely impossible to say based on that.

    How long ago was the divorce, and has there been a complete financial settlement agreed?
    What ages are the children, what are your relative incomes and other assets? Do you pay any maintenance to your children?
    What was the house worth, what was the outstanding mortgage?
    Were you joint borrowers as well as joint owners? Are you still?

    ...etc, etc, etc, etc...
    • RSloan
    • By RSloan 24th Apr 19, 6:27 PM
    • 8 Posts
    • 0 Thanks
    RSloan
    I know, it’s riddled with questions. In summary:
    House bought in ‘99 £80k, partner paid deposit from previous property and existing mortgage.
    We paid mortgage in joint names
    Married in 2003
    Left in 2006 and I started to pay mortgage for her for a year
    2008 we settled on a maintenance payment which helped pay mortgage
    2012 I transferred ownership to sole ownership to give her and our children security for future
    House now valued at 240k and on the market
    Me, in rented accommodation, flat broke, in arrears and behind in bills, very low credit score...and still paying CMS from a depleted salary
    • Hutch100uk
    • By Hutch100uk 24th Apr 19, 7:01 PM
    • 455 Posts
    • 121 Thanks
    Hutch100uk
    I know, itís riddled with questions. In summary:
    House bought in Ď99 £80k, partner paid deposit from previous property and existing mortgage.
    We paid mortgage in joint names
    Married in 2003
    Left in 2006 and I started to pay mortgage for her for a year
    2008 we settled on a maintenance payment which helped pay mortgage
    2012 I transferred ownership to sole ownership to give her and our children security for future
    House now valued at 240k and on the market
    Me, in rented accommodation, flat broke, in arrears and behind in bills, very low credit score...and still paying CMS from a depleted salary
    Originally posted by RSloan
    See a solicitor
    • RSloan
    • By RSloan 25th Apr 19, 1:04 PM
    • 8 Posts
    • 0 Thanks
    RSloan
    Absolutely impossible to say based on that.
    Hoping to see Citizen Advice Bureau. Hoping thereís at least a little bit I can have back that is rightfully mine.
Welcome to our new Forum!

Our aim is to save you money quickly and easily. We hope you like it!

Forum Team Contact us

Live Stats

514Posts Today

5,692Users online

Martin's Twitter
  • Have a great Easter, or a chag sameach to those like me attending Passover seder tomorrow. I?m taking all of next? https://t.co/qrAFTIpqWl

  • RT @rowlyc1980: A whopping 18 days off work for only 9 days leave! I?ll have a bit of that please......thanks @MartinSLewis for your crafty?

  • RT @dinokyp: That feeling when you realise that you have 18 days of work and only used 9 days of your annual leave! Thanks @MartinSLewis h?

  • Follow Martin