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  • FIRST POST
    • StressedSteph
    • By StressedSteph 1st Jan 19, 11:30 AM
    • 2,829Posts
    • 11,004Thanks
    StressedSteph
    I want a life without failed Direct Debits :-(
    • #1
    • 1st Jan 19, 11:30 AM
    I want a life without failed Direct Debits :-( 1st Jan 19 at 11:30 AM
    Morning and Happy New Year.

    I logged on yesterday to a message from MSE to congratulate me on being a member for 10 Years!!!. So why the hell do I still have 12k of debt

    During 2016-7 (I think) I posted on my diary on here every day and it really helped me combat the debt. I think I actually managed to halve it!.

    Since then i got a 30 hour a week job and lost time to easily log on here and I fell off the waggon. Thankfully (weirdly) my credit rating is so bad I haven't been able to make my debt any worse but it has stuck at the 12K mark.

    During the last year i have lost some friends to illness etc so I do not want to pay so much against debt that we as a family do nothing all year, BUT I do want to move the needle in the right direction and be able to look back in a years time and have maybe knocked a third off the debt without feeling any pain. This is possible i just need to remember to make a monthly payment and stop the dribble of silly spends that use up that spare cash.

    I plan on trying to find 10 minutes a day to come on here to update my diary and log into YNAB to balance my account and try to keep some control.

    I used to have lots of lovely supportive friends on here and look forward to maybe finding some of you again and also discovering new ones.

    Here's to a 2019 with less missed direct debits and months with unorthorised overdrafts
    Very 262 / Bank of Scot - 1360 /
    Lloyds cc - 2529 / Barclay cc 2844 / MBNA 5546
    January 2019 = 12541
    1p per day / 365 days
    1K Emergency Fund Challenge
Page 2
    • StressedSteph
    • By StressedSteph 4th Jan 19, 6:31 PM
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    StressedSteph
    Some one else who has been around 10 years....me too later this year and yes still up to my neck i it! I will subscribe and drop in now and then!
    Originally posted by Igamogam
    Hi Igamogam

    Thanks for stopping by. Glad it's not just me that is taking a whole lifetime to get rid of her debt


    Evening Steph, I know it's all relatively but I envy your 178 overdrawn, mine gets up to 2400 at worst so definitely need to get rid.

    3pm finishes are best for your life, although I don't know how you manage to fit so much in during the day.

    Can you change any of the dates of your direct debits to later in the month?

    I can't get on with Dave Ramsey, what he says is great I just don't like him and I don't have a reason for it!!

    Hope you've had a good evening, H x
    Originally posted by hugglemonster
    Hi Huggle

    I guess you're right except I did used to have a massive Od with Barclays but I switched bank accounts and left my OD behind and spent a whole year paying the damn thing back. Too scared to get an overdraft again as I just can't be trusted.

    DH gets paid weekly so having the DD's spreadout over the month works well. My main issue is christmas overspending. If I had an ounce of self control I should have saved some money to cover the New Years bills #impulsiveidiot

    Yeah I guess Dave Ramsey is an acquired taste, wish MSE Martin did podcasts or something similar.

    Hope you are have a good New year xxx

    Hi Steph lovely to have you back.

    Puzz. X
    Originally posted by Puzzcat
    Hi there Puzzcat. Thanks for finding me. It's been ages and I really need to catch up with everyones diaries.

    Hope life has been treating you well. xxxx
    Very 262 / Bank of Scot - 1360 /
    Lloyds cc - 2529 / Barclay cc 2844 / MBNA 5546
    January 2019 = 12541
    1p per day / 365 days
    1K Emergency Fund Challenge
    • StressedSteph
    • By StressedSteph 4th Jan 19, 6:52 PM
    • 2,829 Posts
    • 11,004 Thanks
    StressedSteph
    Hi all

    What a super busy day. Worked 9 till 4pm, dashed home to sort out the farm to find FIL parked on the drive so had to invite him in for coffee and a chat. When he finally left I had to dash out and do all the farm chores in the half dark. Bloomin water hose had already frozen so could'nt top up animals water troughs. Hopefully it will defrost enough tomorrow afternoon so I don't have to bucket water everywhere.

    Dinner is finally in the oven, bra off and Damson gin poured and it's FRIDAY!!! Thank god.

    Had another NSD today, had to book in a company to come and empty our Septic Tank as its blocked and Dh apparently can't unblock it until its been emptied. 120 . Will wait for that bill.

    Got a busy day tomorrow, Ds is booked in for a haricut at 10am and then got to come home and get weekend farm chores done and also want to tackle the polytunnel which looks like an abandoned wasteland at the moment.

    Not much news financially until Dh gets paid on Monday and even then not too much will get paid as only a three day week.
    Going to try not to do a food shop next week, Have freezers full of meat so should be able to plan some meals.

    Hope you all have a lovely weekend. xxxx
    Very 262 / Bank of Scot - 1360 /
    Lloyds cc - 2529 / Barclay cc 2844 / MBNA 5546
    January 2019 = 12541
    1p per day / 365 days
    1K Emergency Fund Challenge
    • Little Miss Winner
    • By Little Miss Winner 4th Jan 19, 7:51 PM
    • 4,026 Posts
    • 136,167 Thanks
    Little Miss Winner
    bra off and Damson gin poured and it's FRIDAY!!! Thank god.

    QUOTE]


    That tickled me!!!! Nice to see you back Steph xx
    • StressedSteph
    • By StressedSteph 8th Jan 19, 7:05 PM
    • 2,829 Posts
    • 11,004 Thanks
    StressedSteph
    Evening Diary

    It's been a busy start to the week, doing some overtime and then playing catch up with farm, kids, dinner, household chores etc.

    Dh got paid for last weeks three days yesterday. after the unorthorised overdraft sucked up half I have only been able to pay a couple of little bills .
    Decembers mortgage still needs paying, so that is my priority for next weeks wage

    Just trying to spend the week working and not spending really, not much to report, just head down and use all money on bills month.

    Hope some of you guys are more in control than me. I do this every year and at the age of 43 you would think I had learned by now
    Very 262 / Bank of Scot - 1360 /
    Lloyds cc - 2529 / Barclay cc 2844 / MBNA 5546
    January 2019 = 12541
    1p per day / 365 days
    1K Emergency Fund Challenge
    • missymoo81
    • By missymoo81 8th Jan 19, 7:53 PM
    • 6,029 Posts
    • 20,947 Thanks
    missymoo81
    Hey Steph! I love your title as it is just the same as my life and I too have been here for a long time, think mine is 9 years though, and I am probably in more debt than ever. I'll be reading with interest, as I'm self employed and have two kiddies to feed and run around after. Good luck hun x
    • Buffythedebtslayer
    • By Buffythedebtslayer 8th Jan 19, 10:00 PM
    • 15,502 Posts
    • 52,526 Thanks
    Buffythedebtslayer
    *Squishes Steph up in a BIG HUG*

    Hello

    I have a cushion you made. Well, I gifted it to Mum.

    I am still here and I have been here for 11 years. 11 freaking years.

    and I am currently 4980 in debt. Just embarrassing. Realised a younger guy at work has a mortgage. I don't. I can't. So embarrassing.

    Any how I think we will do it this time Steph. I cling to the idea that things are changing.

    Much Love
    Buffy XXXX
    Sealed Pot 12 - 008, 365, 1p a day, 1%, 100 days, Saving to be out of debt!
    • baglady1
    • By baglady1 8th Jan 19, 11:22 PM
    • 54 Posts
    • 254 Thanks
    baglady1
    Hi Steph, so lovely to have you back.

    I missed my read of your diary and have often wondered how you were doing. Wasn't entirely sure if "Stressed Steph" was actually you but when you mentioned not doing the wreaths I knew

    Cheers Bl1 (Down under in Tasmania)
    • StressedSteph
    • By StressedSteph 12th Jan 19, 4:07 PM
    • 2,829 Posts
    • 11,004 Thanks
    StressedSteph
    Hi All

    Sorry it's been a couple of days since I last posted but life has taken abit of a turn for the worse.

    My car has died

    I live in the depths of Dorset so being without a car is literally impossible. Not a bus service for miles.

    Thankfully I had AA breakdown (even though I was cursing how much the direct debit had gone up this year, i'm glad I kept it).

    My treasured old 4x4 truck (53 plate) has been towed to my local garage and he waits there for them to decide his fate. AA man thinks it cam belt .

    The cam belt went on it about three years ago and it cost us over 2,000 to repair it last time. Hubby says the car isn't worth that much anymore so if it's that happened then we will have to scrap it.

    I have sooo many bills waiting to be paid and now I have to find money to either repair the car or buy a little run around to get me by until I can save up some cash (*Laughs bitterly as never managed to save a dime in my life*).

    So many people are just saying "Well you had better start car shopping". I hate to tell them that I have a dreadful credit rating and no one would lend me any money so credit isn't an option.
    Although I feel I would rather get by somehow than get into even more debt.

    Hubby and I seem to have come to an agreement that if the car is more than 1,000 to repair then it's better to just go out an buy a little cheap run around with that money as there was lots of other issues with my car already. (lots of rust, no heater, unexplained rattles).

    Guess i'm hitting rock bottom again, no emergency fund, no savings and in arrears with countless people.

    WHEN WILL I EVER LEARN!!!!!!!!!
    Very 262 / Bank of Scot - 1360 /
    Lloyds cc - 2529 / Barclay cc 2844 / MBNA 5546
    January 2019 = 12541
    1p per day / 365 days
    1K Emergency Fund Challenge
    • Buffythedebtslayer
    • By Buffythedebtslayer 12th Jan 19, 5:37 PM
    • 15,502 Posts
    • 52,526 Thanks
    Buffythedebtslayer
    Oh !!!!. that is really sucky.

    My car went kapput ( no tyres to speak of, a lazy accelerator, intermittent indicators electric windows that did as they felt...) It was a fun time...not. My current car is 20 years old (VW) which i LOVE and cost 1800. A lot for an old car but it had 66,000 miles on the clock. And I didn't want to car shop.

    Steph, no matter what it will work out. I would look for a cheap run around on FB?

    Big love XXXXX
    Sealed Pot 12 - 008, 365, 1p a day, 1%, 100 days, Saving to be out of debt!
    • abba1772
    • By abba1772 12th Jan 19, 8:13 PM
    • 5,831 Posts
    • 22,902 Thanks
    abba1772
    Sorry to hear about the car Steph

    Can you not buy the cam belt hubby is a mechanic and he agrees with hubby better to buy a wee runabout from fb or gumtree to tide you by xx
    NEXT TARGET BARCLAYCARD WAS Jan 19 4299 NOW 1585.07
    POAMAYC 2011 6382.66 POAMAYC 2012 5000.78
    POAMAYC 2013 3480.04 POAMAYC 2014 4085.14
    POAMAYC 2015 7565.24 POAMAYC 2016 8000.90
    POAMAYC 2017 7278.80 POAMAYC 2018 13039.59
    POAMAYC 2019 3519.51
    • jwil
    • By jwil 13th Jan 19, 9:16 AM
    • 10,102 Posts
    • 34,728 Thanks
    jwil
    Sorry to hear about the car
    "If you can dream it, you can do it". Walt Disney
    • Honeysucklelou2
    • By Honeysucklelou2 13th Jan 19, 4:56 PM
    • 1,478 Posts
    • 7,342 Thanks
    Honeysucklelou2
    Sorry about the car...how far is your commute? I'm in a rural area whereby a car is essential and when they go, it's quite an impact on everyday life.
    paydbx2019 #93 461.38/10,100 .
    School trips 741/1269..
    EF 160
    • Mum.Wife.Me.
    • By Mum.Wife.Me. 13th Jan 19, 5:41 PM
    • 39 Posts
    • 135 Thanks
    Mum.Wife.Me.
    Hi Steph, I've also been around on and off for 10 years, although I opened a new account this time for a "fresh start" this time it has to work! So sorry to hear about your car, unexpected expense at this time of year is a nightmare, we had a 300 vet bill to pay last week and it knocked all my positivity right out of me! back on track now and look forward to following your progress x
    Going into 2019 owing 27, 789.94
    83.50 / 27, 789.94
    Paying off debt so we can buy our forever home
    • enthusiasticsaver
    • By enthusiasticsaver 13th Jan 19, 6:05 PM
    • 8,216 Posts
    • 18,599 Thanks
    enthusiasticsaver
    Are you at the stage of a DMP if your budget is so tight you are unable to save towards an emergency fund or car maintenance? Would it be worth putting an soa up here for ideas. We live in Cornwall and would struggle without cars but it is just about doable as we are on a bus route. When my kids were young the school was in walking distance and I then caught the bus to work as parking in my local city was so expensive. Are you able to do without one for a few months to save up enough to buy a cheap run around?
    Early retired in December 2017

    I'm a Board Guide on the Debt-Free Wannabe, Mortgages and Endowments, Banking and Budgeting boards. I volunteer to help get your forum questions answered and keep the forum running smoothly. Any views are mine and not the official line of moneysavingexpert.com. Pease remember, board guides don't read every post. If you spot an illegal or inappropriate post then please report it to forumteam@moneysavingexpert.com
    • tibawo
    • By tibawo 13th Jan 19, 6:23 PM
    • 1,119 Posts
    • 10,049 Thanks
    tibawo
    Hi Steph... you sound so similar to me. I had virtually controlled my debts and then changed jobs and it didn't work out so debts creeped up but least this time I know it is not the end of the world and that with the right mindset it can be done.

    I also had car troubles and needed it to work. Without work no pay, viscous circle! Although not a small holding I do have an allotment that I need to sort and use productively this year!

    Let's hope we don't just have a light bulb moment but we light up the world!
    After years of debt and living on the breadline feeling nothing but negative about myself, I am finally feeling that 2019 might be the year I actually get positive about it!
    • Igamogam
    • By Igamogam 14th Jan 19, 12:13 PM
    • 5,764 Posts
    • 47,491 Thanks
    Igamogam
    I feel your pain regarding car....rural location here too and 100 mile round trip for work I am currently in dispute with main dealer re a car a bought from them in 2017. Not new but only 3 years old. Developed a fault within warranty and they have fobbed me off ever since...offered to sell me another car but it will leave me much worse off financially, which they dont get! So I am now in discussion with the car manufacture....we will see. Hope you can get it sorted soon
    Be the change you want to see -with apologies to Gandhi
    In gardens, beauty is a by-product. The main business is sex and death. ~Sam Llewelyn
    'On the internet no one knows you are a cat'
    • StressedSteph
    • By StressedSteph 19th Jan 19, 9:35 AM
    • 2,829 Posts
    • 11,004 Thanks
    StressedSteph
    Thanks for all the replies.

    Well...I seemed to spend this week with my head firmly in the sand!.

    My best friend lent me her spare little car. I worked every hour possible last week, along with juggling kids clubs, trying to sort animals etc so somehow I got to Friday without really sorting anything out.

    The car is definitley going to cost around 2500. to repair and is only worth around 3000. it has alot of other bits wrong with it so even though i feel like i am losing my security blanket I think we have to scrap it

    I have so many bills that are waiting to be paid I cannot find any money for a quick cheap car. Father in law has kindly offered to lend us 1000 to get a little run around to sort us out temporarily. There is no way to cope without a car, even though my work is only about 6 miles away there is no buses.

    I need to catch up with my arrears first before I can think about saving for a car.

    God life is such hard work sometimes.

    I have started enjoying the Every Dollar website. I kind of like the way it budgets more than YNAB at the moment, mostly because of the arrears as YNAB isnt much fun when you owe alot of mony. That might just be me being daft.

    I might do an SOA over this weekend sometime although I do know that we have a decent amount of surplus cash after the bills, its tough at the moment because of the arrears I have to catch up with.

    I have just become undisciplined during 2018 so have been frittering away the surplus cash and not using any savings pots.
    Well that HAS to change.
    Very 262 / Bank of Scot - 1360 /
    Lloyds cc - 2529 / Barclay cc 2844 / MBNA 5546
    January 2019 = 12541
    1p per day / 365 days
    1K Emergency Fund Challenge
    • StressedSteph
    • By StressedSteph 19th Jan 19, 9:40 AM
    • 2,829 Posts
    • 11,004 Thanks
    StressedSteph
    Is anyone in my situation because I am struggling with a litte thought in my head.

    Our smallholding must be worth around 500k as we bought is for 424k 9 years ago and have totally renovated it.

    Our mortgage is only 114k.

    I love where we live, 6 acres of beautiful Dorset countryside, space for kids to do as they please, contact with lots of animals (even though they spend 99% of their time on their electronics )

    During these financial struggles I have been considering that if we sold this place for 500k minus mortgage and debts and allowing 20k for moving costs we would have around 350k left to buy a regular house with no debts or mortgage.

    It does feel like a struggle here sometimes and I cant help but wonder how different life might be if we didn't care about living here.

    Is anyone else paying a high price for where they are living. I feel we have a crossroads where we COULD change our struggles and be debt free but is the price that needs to be paid too high????

    Just my mullings for the day
    Very 262 / Bank of Scot - 1360 /
    Lloyds cc - 2529 / Barclay cc 2844 / MBNA 5546
    January 2019 = 12541
    1p per day / 365 days
    1K Emergency Fund Challenge
    • Honeysucklelou2
    • By Honeysucklelou2 19th Jan 19, 11:44 AM
    • 1,478 Posts
    • 7,342 Thanks
    Honeysucklelou2
    Much depends on where you live...I live in a part of the country that has huge water bills and house prices are inflated by the amount of 2nd home owners or investment companies that do holiday lets. Are Dorset house prices reasonable?

    How would you feel being without your land and animals? What would 350k allow you to buy? Just questions to think about rather than answer here. The prospect of being debt and mortgage free must be very tempting...but depends on your long term goals. I don't have a smallholding but have a little parcel of land about 10 mins away from home. It's value on the open market is very low as the ground can get very wet and we battle brambles all the time, but it's my haven and where I like to be, if I had more time. Do the animals and smallholding bring you joy that you would struggle to be without?
    paydbx2019 #93 461.38/10,100 .
    School trips 741/1269..
    EF 160
    • Igamogam
    • By Igamogam 19th Jan 19, 2:28 PM
    • 5,764 Posts
    • 47,491 Thanks
    Igamogam

    Is anyone else paying a high price for where they are living. I feel we have a crossroads where we COULD change our struggles and be debt free but is the price that needs to be paid too high????
    Originally posted by StressedSteph
    Depends what you mean by "high price". OHs family think we pay a high price as we have to travel about 18 miles to a multi screen cinema, have no idea what a Nand0s is and dont have mains gas

    The price we pay is I have a long commute to work but we decided I was the wage earner so I would travel and we would put up with being 15 mins drive to a deserted beach even in the mad tourist season, 10 mins from some of the most breathtaking mountain scenery in the country,the darkest of night skies,clean air and quiet surroundings....

    If you love the small holding way of life then could you relocate to where property and land is much cheaper.....you would be amazed what you could get for your 350K here..well you wouldn't need to use it all and possibly still have what you want

    Good luck with the mullings. Only you can make the decision
    Be the change you want to see -with apologies to Gandhi
    In gardens, beauty is a by-product. The main business is sex and death. ~Sam Llewelyn
    'On the internet no one knows you are a cat'
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