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    • Pixiedust22
    • By Pixiedust22 10th Nov 18, 2:17 PM
    • 15Posts
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    Pixiedust22
    Mother in law nursing home
    • #1
    • 10th Nov 18, 2:17 PM
    Mother in law nursing home 10th Nov 18 at 2:17 PM
    My mother in law currently lives in sheltered accommodation, but is getting to the point where she will likely need to go into a nursing home. I know this would be funded by the council as she has no assets or savings and we are not rich enough to be able to fund it for her. What I was wondering is when the council pays for nursing care does it have to be in your local council? She currently doesn't live near any of her family and OH and I were thinking - if she is interested of course, she is not mentally impaired and can make her own decision - if it would be possible for her to live somewhere nearer us and she could see our son more often. I'm just not sure how this works, would her council pay for a nursing home elsewhere or does she have to stay where she is? I don't want to bring it up with her without knowing in case she decides she wants it and then it turns out it's not possible...
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    • BrassicWoman
    • By BrassicWoman 10th Nov 18, 2:38 PM
    • 1,874 Posts
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    BrassicWoman
    • #2
    • 10th Nov 18, 2:38 PM
    • #2
    • 10th Nov 18, 2:38 PM
    https://assets.publishing.service.gov.uk/government/uploads/system/uploads/attachment_data/file/268685/Factsheet_9_update.pdf


    lots of info here
    Jan 18 grocery challenge £105.13/ £150
    • Primrose
    • By Primrose 10th Nov 18, 3:40 PM
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    Primrose
    • #3
    • 10th Nov 18, 3:40 PM
    • #3
    • 10th Nov 18, 3:40 PM
    Could I also suggest that whilst your mother in law still has full mental capacity you suggest to her that she sets up powers of attorney formpwrhaps her son and yourself. It may make it easier for you to help her in any moves if you have authority to act on her behalf.

    If she loses mental capacity it will be too late to do this and you will then have to go down a far more difficult and restrictive route of guardianship for her affairs which will not allow you nso much freedom to act on her behalf. You can complete these forms online. Google powers of Attorney - office of Public Guardian and you will find them. There are helpful hints which will help you through the process.
    • Pixiedust22
    • By Pixiedust22 10th Nov 18, 7:31 PM
    • 15 Posts
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    Pixiedust22
    • #4
    • 10th Nov 18, 7:31 PM
    • #4
    • 10th Nov 18, 7:31 PM
    Thank you for the fact sheet, that's really useful.

    My mother in law is only 67 and her need for care is due to physical illness, but in general you're right about the power of attorney and it's something to keep in mind.
    • BrassicWoman
    • By BrassicWoman 10th Nov 18, 8:53 PM
    • 1,874 Posts
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    BrassicWoman
    • #5
    • 10th Nov 18, 8:53 PM
    • #5
    • 10th Nov 18, 8:53 PM
    Thank you for the fact sheet, that's really useful.

    My mother in law is only 67 and her need for care is due to physical illness, but in general you're right about the power of attorney and it's something to keep in mind.
    Originally posted by Pixiedust22

    They need to prep it before they need it - you don't act on it until required. 20 years before needed is fine!



    Mine left it too late and it has been a nightmare!! I am sometimes angry with them for being too selfish to sort it out, and leaving me with a pile of rubbish to sort out... just quietly angry, to myself!
    Jan 18 grocery challenge £105.13/ £150
    • dawyldthing
    • By dawyldthing 10th Nov 18, 10:49 PM
    • 3,114 Posts
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    dawyldthing
    • #6
    • 10th Nov 18, 10:49 PM
    • #6
    • 10th Nov 18, 10:49 PM
    They might still get carers in to their home as care homes are generally last resort due to the cost of them
    roll on end of April 2019 *16 done* = *24 to go*
    • Keep pedalling
    • By Keep pedalling 10th Nov 18, 11:23 PM
    • 5,622 Posts
    • 6,384 Thanks
    Keep pedalling
    • #7
    • 10th Nov 18, 11:23 PM
    • #7
    • 10th Nov 18, 11:23 PM
    Thank you for the fact sheet, that's really useful.

    My mother in law is only 67 and her need for care is due to physical illness, but in general you're right about the power of attorney and it's something to keep in mind.
    Originally posted by Pixiedust22
    Not something to keep in mind, it is something that should be high on her list of priorities. People of all ages lose capacity unexpectedly through sudden illness or accident, and the day after itís to late, and life becomes very difficult for your nearest and dearest.

    Get yours done at the same time.
    • Misslayed
    • By Misslayed 10th Nov 18, 11:33 PM
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    Misslayed
    • #8
    • 10th Nov 18, 11:33 PM
    • #8
    • 10th Nov 18, 11:33 PM
    I suspect it varies according to local council policy, but a good friend of mine has recently moved her mother (who has Alzheimer's) from her own home in Gloucestershire to a council funded care home near to my friend in Dorset. So it is possible in theory.
    Hi. Martin has asked me to tell you I'm a (novice) Board Guide on the Competitions, Site Feedback and Campaigns boards. I volunteer to help get your forum questions answered and keep the forum running smoothly. Board guides are not moderators and don't read every post. If you spot an abusive or illegal post then please report it to forumteam@moneysavingexpert.com (it's not part of my role to deal with abuse). Any views are mine and not the official line of MoneySavingExpert.com.
    • KazJenn
    • By KazJenn 11th Nov 18, 11:09 AM
    • 10 Posts
    • 8 Thanks
    KazJenn
    • #9
    • 11th Nov 18, 11:09 AM
    • #9
    • 11th Nov 18, 11:09 AM
    What happens in Surrey is that we'd first assess your mother in law and determine whether she has care needs that warrant nursing / residential care. Or whether her needs can be met at home and using homecare and local resources. I'm also assuming that your mail is on board with moving when it's mentioned!

    If she does have residential care needs. We'd look at placing her in a home that we have a block contract with. If unavailable or nursing care is required. We have an agreed max weekly care rate that we'd try and negotiate with other care homes to see if they'll accept it.
    We would agree to out of county placements that meet our agreed weekly rate. We may consider family members topping up the rates but you have to be mindful that if the family member can no longer afford to top up . We may consider transferring your mother in law back to a home in our county if we have an available bed.
    Hope this helps.
    • Pixiedust22
    • By Pixiedust22 11th Nov 18, 12:57 PM
    • 15 Posts
    • 8 Thanks
    Pixiedust22
    Thanks for all your replies!

    She has carers at home at the moment, they come two or three times a day but her condition is getting worse and she had to go into hospital a couple of days ago because she couldn't even get off the toilet with the carer's help. Apparently the only other possibility is a hoist but don't think they could fit one in her flat.

    She's still in hospital. It's a very sad situation.
    • BrassicWoman
    • By BrassicWoman 11th Nov 18, 2:10 PM
    • 1,874 Posts
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    BrassicWoman
    She's still in hospital. It's a very sad situation.
    Originally posted by Pixiedust22

    First, have a big hug!!


    And shout if you want to talk. Lots of us here have elderly folk needing more care than we can give.



    I have had both parents become unsafe to live alone within 12 months of each other.


    If they are safe, fed and have each other/ companionship, my work is done.


    If they are happy it's a bonus.



    What both of them want is to be about 55 again.. ain't gonna happen! It took me ages to toughen up though. They are fiesty thigs and refused all help until it was no longer really their choice.



    Finding compromises now saves heartache later.
    Jan 18 grocery challenge £105.13/ £150
    • Pixiedust22
    • By Pixiedust22 11th Nov 18, 4:58 PM
    • 15 Posts
    • 8 Thanks
    Pixiedust22
    Thank you, youíre very kind! It isnít really something I thought Iíd be dealing with at this point in life to be honest; my parents are still in their 50s and very far from any similar situation. Even my grandparents still manage in their own homes so Iím unfamiliar with the nursing home situation!
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