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    • happyandcontented
    • By happyandcontented 10th Nov 18, 9:59 AM
    • 1,680Posts
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    happyandcontented
    Opinions on this Facebook Post....
    • #1
    • 10th Nov 18, 9:59 AM
    Opinions on this Facebook Post.... 10th Nov 18 at 9:59 AM
    This was posted on a friends FB page and it gave me food for thought. It is articulate and quite well written, but it does send a message that could be controversial and contrary to the opinions of many:

    Copied verbatim:

    'I was at a wedding a little while ago, sitting next to a grandmother of three young children.

    “Honestly,” she said “kids these days have no idea what real values are and they’re certainly not going to learn them from their parents.”

    “What does that mean?” I asked her curiously.

    “How can children learn anything of meaning when they are using devices instead of reading books? Or they can just text each other instead of talking to each other,” she quickly replied.

    “Did your daughter have access to those things when she was growing up?” I asked her.

    “No, of course not,” she answered.

    “Because you didn’t let her or because it didn’t exist?” I wondered.

    “Because it didn’t exist. Why?” She continued.

    “Because it leads me to wonder how useful it is to sit here and judge your daughter’s parenting to a group of strangers when you could, instead, find ways to support her as a parent while she faces challenges that didn’t exist when you were raising your own children.”

    For the record, she didn’t appreciate this feedback too much and the conversation ended there.

    Having said that, I — along with a large number of my friends and family — don’t appreciate getting told every single day that we’re raising serial killers because we let our children use a paint-by-numbers app on our computers.

    Here’s the thing…

    I only learned about the internet when I was in high school. I was twenty-five years old the first time I ever had a cell phone. My wedding was our photographer’s second time shooting on a digital camera. The first twenty years of my life were lived in a world that is very different from the one I’ve known for the last twenty years of my life. I have stood with a foot on either side and experienced them both deeply.

    But we are also the first generation of parents having to raise children in this new world and we’re having to do so without much of a support system in place to help us navigate it along the way.

    I talk a lot about the village that is required to raise children. But I also talk a lot about the village that is required to raise parents. And the moment one parent sits around a table to talk about how another parent is failing…a torch is being taken to that village and burning it to the ground. When this happens, we immediately contribute more to the problem than we do to the solution.

    Truth be told, it’s really hard and scary to be a parent right now. I can go online on any given day and stumble across fifteen articles dictating all the ways that I’m not parenting correctly and I can do it all before 9am. Granted, this is all I know as a parent and I have nothing to compare it to, but I can still boldly state that I would rather have your help than your criticism.

    It’s very easy to see how different things are for our children while overlooking how different things are for us as parents.

    Case in point: someone gets super agitated because children are watching movies in the backseat of a car while driving to visit family. “When you were little, we never let you do anything like that," they'd say. "Instead, we talked to each other and played games.”

    Okay, fair enough. However, when I was little, I could also sit on your lap in the passenger seat of the car. I could use a mini van as a means to play hide-n-seek. I even once traveled on a 400 series highway in the cab of a pick-up-truck while throwing cherry pits at passing vehicles. Seat belts were entirely optional.

    Today, my children have to be strapped into a five-point astronaut seat until their twelve years old and if they pulled any of the stunts that we did as children, we’d not only get thrown in jail, but someone would videotape it happening and the whole incident would be trending on Twitter within ten minutes.

    Yes, life is different. Yes, the world is different.

    With that being said, my children can watch all the Pixar movies they want while we make the ten hour drive to visit grandma and grandpa. You choose your battles. I’ll choose mine.

    Are there immense challenges that come with this digital age? Absolutely. Are there huge imbalances that will have to be leveled out through the generations to come? No doubt about it.

    But every generation has had its struggles and no generation has been perfect at managing them.

    The truth is that this technology isn’t going anywhere. The world isn’t going to stop progressing because we don’t like seeing kids with computers in their pockets. And it’s not actually serving anyone (especially our children) to create a narrative around how terrible their future is as a result.

    Because that same technology allows my kids to Skype with their family who live in another country. That same technology is what enables me to work from home so that I can be more present with my family when they need me. That same technology brings the world’s greatest minds and resources to our fingertips.

    There is good in all of this too.

    The point I’m trying to make though is that the struggle isn’t made easier with other parents piling on. Because none of this is just different for our kids. It’s different for us as parents too. And the harsh truth is that we aren’t supporting our children at all if we aren’t supporting the parents who are doing their very best to raise them.

    We’re all growing in this. We’re all learning in this. We’re all blindly trying to make our way in all of this.

    So, here is my hope for us as parents…

    The next time we feel the urge to darken our children’s world because it doesn’t look the same as our own…perhaps we can pause, and breathe, and redirect ourselves. Perhaps, instead, we can turn to our friends, our daughters, our fellow parents and ask “how can I better support you as we navigate a world—and a future—that is different for all of us?”

    And then we can hop on Youtube together and enjoy the greatest gift technology has ever given us; a never ending stream of hilarious cat videos!!


    Opinions please. Is she right?
Page 2
    • Red-Squirrel
    • By Red-Squirrel 10th Nov 18, 1:55 PM
    • 3,737 Posts
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    Red-Squirrel
    Red squirrel, are you sure that Gran's "they are not" Is incorrect? Sounds ok to me.
    Originally posted by David Aston
    That’s not the error, keep looking.
    • pollypenny
    • By pollypenny 10th Nov 18, 2:27 PM
    • 25,299 Posts
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    pollypenny
    It reminds me of the trite rubbish DS's mother-in-law and my cousin put on FB.
    Last edited by pollypenny; 10-11-2018 at 3:46 PM.
    Member #14 of SKI-ers club

    Words, words, they're all we have to go by!.

    (Pity they are mangled by this autocorrect!)
    • splishsplash
    • By splishsplash 10th Nov 18, 2:38 PM
    • 2,847 Posts
    • 8,137 Thanks
    splishsplash
    a) That is an incredibly fake-sounding conversation, most likely made up to make her look good.

    b) The point could have been made much more succinctly. This long rant gives the impression that the author is overly fond of listening to herself/having people listen to her.

    c) I think they're both full of s***, but at least Granny confined her s*** to a couple of folk at a wedding instead of spreading it all over the internet like a giant attention w****.

    d) Maybe if she spent less time writing blathery screeds on the internet, she'd have the time to manage the struggles of this new generation.

    e) I am grumpy this morning. This may be reflected in a)-d).
    Originally posted by Sunny Intervals


    It's just another one of these neverending fake-self-deprecating-but-really-virtue-signalling posts that someone, somewhere thinks is clever and really super enlightened.

    Yawn.

    I may be a little cranky today too...
    I walk around like everything is fine, but deep down, inside my shoe, my sock is sliding off.
    • borkid
    • By borkid 10th Nov 18, 2:56 PM
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    borkid
    My son (38) had (still has) trouble writing. He could, however, from quite a young age, touch type at a rate of knots. He is much better on a keyboard than physically writing, when you can see him having to 'gear himself up' to put pen to paper and then make indecipherable writing.

    I agree too that it helped his spelling.

    So yes, technology used responsibly can be beneficial.
    Originally posted by seven-day-weekend

    Exactly that is the whole point. Unfortunately not everyone does or has. I remember many years ago( 30+) a mum complaining her young son never slept well at night in the school holidays. Turned out she sat him infront of a TV screen all day.



    My 2 had access to computers, pre internet, but they also went out to play , were read to, played music and all the other 'old fashioned' things. Like all things in life balance is important.
    • happyandcontented
    • By happyandcontented 10th Nov 18, 4:09 PM
    • 1,680 Posts
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    happyandcontented
    How does your friend feel about having her posts quoted verbatim on the internet? Because if it was me I'd be furious with you.
    Although if it was me that post wouldn't be out there in the first place.
    Originally posted by elsien
    Well, it was on the FB timeline of a friend of mine in Australia and it was her friend that made the post. So my friend shared it with her friends with the person's name on it ( as it was when she initially shared it herself)I have merely shared it with MSE anonymously because I thought it was an interesting viewpoint. However, in my opinion, I don't think people who make such posts are bothered who shares them as they stand by their views.
    • David Aston
    • By David Aston 10th Nov 18, 4:18 PM
    • 905 Posts
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    David Aston
    It's got me beat Red!
    • happyandcontented
    • By happyandcontented 10th Nov 18, 4:19 PM
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    happyandcontented
    What is your opinion? You seem to have "forgotten" to include it.
    Originally posted by onomatopoeia99
    Not really, I was in a bit of a rush when I posted it so I thought I would leave it out there and return to it later. Sorry if that annoyed you!

    Anyway, my opinion is that anyone who wastes time watching cat videos needs to get another hobby...and so, that leads me to think that the tirade is an attention seeking rant, but, one which has a grain of truth running through it.

    Whilst technology does have a massive place and undoubtedly brings with it many benefits to society, we should not become slaves to it at the cost of other forms of social interaction.

    It is all about balance and using technology appropriately and not using it at times when it is inappropriate.
    • unholyangel
    • By unholyangel 10th Nov 18, 4:51 PM
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    unholyangel
    Tbh I think the post is seeking validation and trying to place themselves on a pedestal. They are not the first generation of parents raising kids with this.....parents who had kids around the 80s were.

    Decades before that there was the tv, which brought us such wonders as "sit too close and you'll go blind", "it will rot your brain" etc.
    Money doesn't solve poverty.....it creates it.
    • Red-Squirrel
    • By Red-Squirrel 10th Nov 18, 5:15 PM
    • 3,737 Posts
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    Red-Squirrel
    It's got me beat Red!
    Originally posted by David Aston
    “my children have to be strapped into a five-point astronaut seat until their twelve years old”

    It’s harder to spot when you’re looking for it!
    • David Aston
    • By David Aston 10th Nov 18, 5:33 PM
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    David Aston
    Bless you Red, are you, like me, well into the G&T?
    • Red-Squirrel
    • By Red-Squirrel 10th Nov 18, 6:09 PM
    • 3,737 Posts
    • 10,054 Thanks
    Red-Squirrel
    Bless you Red, are you, like me, well into the G&T?
    Originally posted by David Aston
    I’m teetotal.

    There are days i’m not sure it’s the right decision.
    • David Aston
    • By David Aston 10th Nov 18, 6:50 PM
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    • 596 Thanks
    David Aston
    Very wise, ok, so, they are, or their?
    • Doody
    • By Doody 10th Nov 18, 9:50 PM
    • 110 Posts
    • 259 Thanks
    Doody
    Criticising people's posts is surely moving away from the point of the discussion which is well worth having.

    This generation of parents, like all generations of parents, have issues to cope with that are different to others. The advance of technology means there is not a tradition of wisdom about this that they can call on. They can call on knowledge that it is good to be hands on and involved with our children, whatever technology is available.

    We do need to accept that there are both good and bad potential in the gardgets our children have access to and certainly not reject the technology out of hand. Having said that we need to set good examples in being present with the people we are with, not being distracted by what we have in our hands.

    Having said that, I was brought up to understand that reading at the table was very rude and there were some occasions were it was allowed as a special. I used to sneak a book under the table sometimes, That's just the same as playing with a phone, from the social interaction point of view.

    Now, reading is being held up as a lost habit. People now have access to information from a much wider source. There was a lot of drivel available in printed form, as there is much drivel on youtube. We all need to be able to be critical of what information is coming in and to judge it for validity. This is a skill needed for all generations and if the newest parents can impart this to their children, good for them. From past experience, I'm expecting this to be a skill to get passed by. As in previous generations.
    Brexit's for the wealthy, brexit's for the few.
    Who'll get hit the hardest? The likes of me and you.
    • hazyjo
    • By hazyjo 10th Nov 18, 11:22 PM
    • 11,139 Posts
    • 14,760 Thanks
    hazyjo
    It's just another pretend conversation to be filed in the drawer of things that didn't happen!

    Some things were better way back when. Other things have vastly improved. Don't know anyone who says differently.
    2018 wins: Single Malt Whisky; theatre tickets; festival tickets; year of gin(!); shoes; Thai cooking stuff; Jo Brand talk; Slime Factory; Flawless tickets; Comedy night tickets; Triominos
    • Silvertabby
    • By Silvertabby 12th Nov 18, 9:55 PM
    • 3,508 Posts
    • 5,177 Thanks
    Silvertabby
    “ My son (38) had (still has) trouble writing. He could, however, from quite a young age, touch type at a rate of knots. He is much better on a keyboard than physically writing, when you can see him having to 'gear himself up' to put pen to paper and then make indecipherable writing.

    I agree too that it helped his spelling.

    So yes, technology used responsibly can be beneficial.
    Originally posted by seven-day-weekend
    During my last year of school (1970) we girls did typing whereas the boys did woodwork. One of the boys in my class asked if he could learn to type, as he wanted to be a newspaper reporter. Our teacher just laughed out loud and asked the boy if he was a 'big pouf' - as typing was 'only for girls'.
    • kangoora
    • By kangoora 12th Nov 18, 11:28 PM
    • 593 Posts
    • 411 Thanks
    kangoora
    I've got an easy way out of it.

    Don't read or use facebook, twitter, instagram, whatsapp etc and you can completely ignore all the mind numbing drivel that dominates 95%+ of those apps.

    I have absolutely zero interest in what they had for breakfast, what opinions any random stranger I will never meet has, how cute their dog/cat/puppy/baby is and am not at all interested in what movie/dining out/holiday experience you had unless you are a close enough friend to actually talk to me about it.

    I've been using the internet since it first existed for public use (started on Pipex dial in the early 90's) and wouldn't be without it now (Wikipedia is bookmarked on my toolbar) - but can easily do without the social meeja.........
    • ska lover
    • By ska lover 14th Nov 18, 3:06 PM
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    ska lover
    It is a case of ''things were better in my day'' without an inkling of understanding of the world we now live in and challenges now faced..just judgement


    The world has changed beyond belief in the last 40 years, and some pple are not capable of moving with it


    Some things the elderly commenter would likely not have had to deal with in her time:-


    The internet
    Computer game addiction
    Cyber bullying
    Mass homelessness
    How hard it is to even get a roof over your head
    Mass immigration
    Monetary requests for wedding gifts
    Knife carrying
    Mass unemployment
    The expectation on women to work full time/cook clean, have hobbies and look amazing at all times
    Plastic destroying the oceans
    School lunch box police
    Last edited by ska lover; 15-11-2018 at 12:52 PM.
    The opposite of what you know...is also true
    • happyandcontented
    • By happyandcontented 14th Nov 18, 6:18 PM
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    • 3,356 Thanks
    happyandcontented
    It is a case of ''things were better in my day'' without an inkling of understanding of the world we now live in and challenges now faced..just judgement


    The world has changed beyond belief in the last 40 years, and some pple are not capable of moving with it


    Some things the author would likely not have had to deal with in her time:-


    The internet
    Computer game addiction
    Cyber bullying
    Mass homelessness
    How hard it is to even get a roof over your head
    Mass immigration
    Monetary requests for wedding gifts
    Knife carrying
    Mass unemployment
    The expectation on women to work full time/cook clean, have hobbies and look amazing at all times
    Plastic destroying the oceans
    School lunch box police
    Originally posted by ska lover
    The author is a young working mum who is probably dealing with all those things.

    I assume you mean the elderly lady the author supposedly spoke to at the wedding?
    • ska lover
    • By ska lover 15th Nov 18, 12:51 PM
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    ska lover
    The author is a young working mum who is probably dealing with all those things.

    I assume you mean the elderly lady the author supposedly spoke to at the wedding?
    Originally posted by happyandcontented


    Yes that's right - Ill edit the post
    The opposite of what you know...is also true
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