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    • happyandcontented
    • By happyandcontented 10th Nov 18, 9:59 AM
    • 1,614Posts
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    happyandcontented
    Opinions on this Facebook Post....
    • #1
    • 10th Nov 18, 9:59 AM
    Opinions on this Facebook Post.... 10th Nov 18 at 9:59 AM
    This was posted on a friends FB page and it gave me food for thought. It is articulate and quite well written, but it does send a message that could be controversial and contrary to the opinions of many:

    Copied verbatim:

    'I was at a wedding a little while ago, sitting next to a grandmother of three young children.

    “Honestly,” she said “kids these days have no idea what real values are and they’re certainly not going to learn them from their parents.”

    “What does that mean?” I asked her curiously.

    “How can children learn anything of meaning when they are using devices instead of reading books? Or they can just text each other instead of talking to each other,” she quickly replied.

    “Did your daughter have access to those things when she was growing up?” I asked her.

    “No, of course not,” she answered.

    “Because you didn’t let her or because it didn’t exist?” I wondered.

    “Because it didn’t exist. Why?” She continued.

    “Because it leads me to wonder how useful it is to sit here and judge your daughter’s parenting to a group of strangers when you could, instead, find ways to support her as a parent while she faces challenges that didn’t exist when you were raising your own children.”

    For the record, she didn’t appreciate this feedback too much and the conversation ended there.

    Having said that, I — along with a large number of my friends and family — don’t appreciate getting told every single day that we’re raising serial killers because we let our children use a paint-by-numbers app on our computers.

    Here’s the thing…

    I only learned about the internet when I was in high school. I was twenty-five years old the first time I ever had a cell phone. My wedding was our photographer’s second time shooting on a digital camera. The first twenty years of my life were lived in a world that is very different from the one I’ve known for the last twenty years of my life. I have stood with a foot on either side and experienced them both deeply.

    But we are also the first generation of parents having to raise children in this new world and we’re having to do so without much of a support system in place to help us navigate it along the way.

    I talk a lot about the village that is required to raise children. But I also talk a lot about the village that is required to raise parents. And the moment one parent sits around a table to talk about how another parent is failing…a torch is being taken to that village and burning it to the ground. When this happens, we immediately contribute more to the problem than we do to the solution.

    Truth be told, it’s really hard and scary to be a parent right now. I can go online on any given day and stumble across fifteen articles dictating all the ways that I’m not parenting correctly and I can do it all before 9am. Granted, this is all I know as a parent and I have nothing to compare it to, but I can still boldly state that I would rather have your help than your criticism.

    It’s very easy to see how different things are for our children while overlooking how different things are for us as parents.

    Case in point: someone gets super agitated because children are watching movies in the backseat of a car while driving to visit family. “When you were little, we never let you do anything like that," they'd say. "Instead, we talked to each other and played games.”

    Okay, fair enough. However, when I was little, I could also sit on your lap in the passenger seat of the car. I could use a mini van as a means to play hide-n-seek. I even once traveled on a 400 series highway in the cab of a pick-up-truck while throwing cherry pits at passing vehicles. Seat belts were entirely optional.

    Today, my children have to be strapped into a five-point astronaut seat until their twelve years old and if they pulled any of the stunts that we did as children, we’d not only get thrown in jail, but someone would videotape it happening and the whole incident would be trending on Twitter within ten minutes.

    Yes, life is different. Yes, the world is different.

    With that being said, my children can watch all the Pixar movies they want while we make the ten hour drive to visit grandma and grandpa. You choose your battles. I’ll choose mine.

    Are there immense challenges that come with this digital age? Absolutely. Are there huge imbalances that will have to be leveled out through the generations to come? No doubt about it.

    But every generation has had its struggles and no generation has been perfect at managing them.

    The truth is that this technology isn’t going anywhere. The world isn’t going to stop progressing because we don’t like seeing kids with computers in their pockets. And it’s not actually serving anyone (especially our children) to create a narrative around how terrible their future is as a result.

    Because that same technology allows my kids to Skype with their family who live in another country. That same technology is what enables me to work from home so that I can be more present with my family when they need me. That same technology brings the world’s greatest minds and resources to our fingertips.

    There is good in all of this too.

    The point I’m trying to make though is that the struggle isn’t made easier with other parents piling on. Because none of this is just different for our kids. It’s different for us as parents too. And the harsh truth is that we aren’t supporting our children at all if we aren’t supporting the parents who are doing their very best to raise them.

    We’re all growing in this. We’re all learning in this. We’re all blindly trying to make our way in all of this.

    So, here is my hope for us as parents…

    The next time we feel the urge to darken our children’s world because it doesn’t look the same as our own…perhaps we can pause, and breathe, and redirect ourselves. Perhaps, instead, we can turn to our friends, our daughters, our fellow parents and ask “how can I better support you as we navigate a world—and a future—that is different for all of us?”

    And then we can hop on Youtube together and enjoy the greatest gift technology has ever given us; a never ending stream of hilarious cat videos!!


    Opinions please. Is she right?
Page 1
    • Artytarty
    • By Artytarty 10th Nov 18, 10:14 AM
    • 2,233 Posts
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    Artytarty
    • #2
    • 10th Nov 18, 10:14 AM
    • #2
    • 10th Nov 18, 10:14 AM
    No, she is being sanctimonious.
    Norn Iron Club member 473
    • Red-Squirrel
    • By Red-Squirrel 10th Nov 18, 10:23 AM
    • 3,579 Posts
    • 9,595 Thanks
    Red-Squirrel
    • #3
    • 10th Nov 18, 10:23 AM
    • #3
    • 10th Nov 18, 10:23 AM
    Very sensible actually, I thought it was going to be one of those ridiculous fake scenarios you see in lots of Facebook posts.

    She did get ‘their’ and ‘they’re’ mixed up but i’ll forgive that!
    • Ilona
    • By Ilona 10th Nov 18, 10:27 AM
    • 2,171 Posts
    • 7,436 Thanks
    Ilona
    • #4
    • 10th Nov 18, 10:27 AM
    • #4
    • 10th Nov 18, 10:27 AM
    Not right or wrong, Grandmother is only giving her opinion, just as you are giving yours. She is saying what millions of other older people are saying, me included. Trying to keep up with a fast changing world can be daunting to some people, some just cannot get to grips with technology, some don't want to.

    I think you should cut her a bit of slack. She is of a different era. If I was at a wedding I would not be looking for an in-depth conversation about how people should or shouldn't be bringing up their kids today. I would be there for a good time.

    By the length of your post you have really let this get to you. Just chill, let it go, it doesn't matter.

    ilona
    I love skip diving.
    • Artytarty
    • By Artytarty 10th Nov 18, 10:38 AM
    • 2,233 Posts
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    Artytarty
    • #5
    • 10th Nov 18, 10:38 AM
    • #5
    • 10th Nov 18, 10:38 AM
    I was in a rush and didn't make myself clear.
    My feeling is that the younger defensive parent is the one being sanctimonious.
    The older lady at the wedding does have a point and I suspect the mothers hackles were raised because she realises there is some truth in what older lady said.
    Norn Iron Club member 473
    • happyandcontented
    • By happyandcontented 10th Nov 18, 10:42 AM
    • 1,614 Posts
    • 3,130 Thanks
    happyandcontented
    • #6
    • 10th Nov 18, 10:42 AM
    • #6
    • 10th Nov 18, 10:42 AM
    Not right or wrong, Grandmother is only giving her opinion, just as you are giving yours. She is saying what millions of other older people are saying, me included. Trying to keep up with a fast changing world can be daunting to some people, some just cannot get to grips with technology, some don't want to.

    I think you should cut her a bit of slack. She is of a different era. If I was at a wedding I would not be looking for an in-depth conversation about how people should or shouldn't be bringing up their kids today. I would be there for a good time.

    By the length of your post you have really let this get to you. Just chill, let it go, it doesn't matter.

    ilona
    Originally posted by Ilona
    I am not the person saying those things. I merely copied it from Facebook....I did say that in the post!!
    • meer53
    • By meer53 10th Nov 18, 10:51 AM
    • 9,322 Posts
    • 13,585 Thanks
    meer53
    • #7
    • 10th Nov 18, 10:51 AM
    • #7
    • 10th Nov 18, 10:51 AM
    I wouldn't care whether she was right. I bring my children up to have respect, be kind to others and to understand that everyone is different and that they are entitled to their own opinions. So far, i seem to have done ok.

    I don't think the facebook post is controversial, it is contrary to the opinions of many but isn't that how life is ? We can't all feel the same about everything ! When i see facebook posts like this, i ignore them, they're usually from attention seekers anyway.
    • welshbookworm
    • By welshbookworm 10th Nov 18, 10:57 AM
    • 2,593 Posts
    • 6,739 Thanks
    welshbookworm
    • #8
    • 10th Nov 18, 10:57 AM
    • #8
    • 10th Nov 18, 10:57 AM
    Technology is a tool.Used wisely it is good.
    All my children are dyslexic,by putting sub-titles on the TV when they were watching, they all learnt to read.
    They had a computer from a very early age, which helped their spelling and comprehension.
    They have all done well in their chosen fields and are happy, which is all a parent can ask for.
    The best portion of your life will be the small, nameless moments you spend smiling with someone who matters to you.
    • elsien
    • By elsien 10th Nov 18, 11:01 AM
    • 17,553 Posts
    • 44,373 Thanks
    elsien
    • #9
    • 10th Nov 18, 11:01 AM
    • #9
    • 10th Nov 18, 11:01 AM
    How does your friend feel about having her posts quoted verbatim on the internet? Because if it was me I'd be furious with you.
    Although if it was me that post wouldn't be out there in the first place.
    All shall be well, and all shall be well, and all manner of things shall be well.

    Pedant alert - it's could have, not could of.
    • getmore4less
    • By getmore4less 10th Nov 18, 11:03 AM
    • 33,472 Posts
    • 20,228 Thanks
    getmore4less
    https://herviewfromhome.com/please-dont-tell-me-how-to-raise-my-kids-in-this-digital-age-im-doing-my-best/

    https://www.facebook.com/genevievevgeorget/photos/a.1615902765339591/2117087391887790/?type=3&theater
    Last edited by getmore4less; 10-11-2018 at 11:12 AM.
    • PasturesNew
    • By PasturesNew 10th Nov 18, 11:09 AM
    • 64,927 Posts
    • 381,115 Thanks
    PasturesNew
    How does your friend feel about having her posts quoted verbatim on the internet? Because if it was me I'd be furious with you.
    Although if it was me that post wouldn't be out there in the first place.
    Originally posted by elsien
    It's an odd person to have as a "friend" ....
    https://www.facebook.com/photo.php?fbid=10161300411795722

    Canadian - and all the FB reads like a PR stunt anyway.
    • BrassicWoman
    • By BrassicWoman 10th Nov 18, 11:23 AM
    • 1,874 Posts
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    BrassicWoman
    I think it is lacking in any of the actual research about children and technology. Of which there is loads; people don't have to guess what it does.
    e.g.
    https://digitalcommons.uri.edu/srhonorsprog/260/
    Jan 18 grocery challenge £105.13/ £150
    • Silvertabby
    • By Silvertabby 10th Nov 18, 11:50 AM
    • 3,429 Posts
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    Silvertabby
    Nothing new. I didn't use a pocket calculator at school because they were new technology/very expensive - but they were compulsory for maths lessons by the time my younger sister started secondary school.

    However, when my sister told mum and dad that she needed a calculator they just laughed and said that as I/they hadn't needed one, she didn't either. My sister (always the smart mouth) asked my mum if she had used a little blackboard and chalk when she was at school, just like her own mum had used - or had she used the 'modern technology' of paper and pen.
    • onomatopoeia99
    • By onomatopoeia99 10th Nov 18, 11:56 AM
    • 4,805 Posts
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    onomatopoeia99
    This was posted on a friends FB page and it gave me food for thought. It is articulate and quite well written, but it does send a message that could be controversial and contrary to the opinions of many:
    Originally posted by happyandcontented

    What is your opinion? You seem to have "forgotten" to include it.
    INTP, nerd, libertarian and scifi geek.
    Home is where my books are.
    • Robisere
    • By Robisere 10th Nov 18, 12:01 PM
    • 2,434 Posts
    • 3,281 Thanks
    Robisere
    I am a 73 yo grandad of 4 very different 13 to 24 yo's. Having taken to computing in my late 50's after injury and disability, I attended a 13 month course at a Disability College and passed in 11 months, while attending IT classes at weekends, with another Technical College. I did this because I could see the world changing and knew I had to change with it to get a job. I got the job but was retired on ill health grounds, so began a new career in my early 60's as a designer and printer of business materials. I built PC's myself as a sideline and I bought all the devices I needed to make a good living. Eventually I moved to Lincolnshire and retained a few clients, but stopped and retired completely at 70.


    I built the 24yo his first two PC's: he is an Asperger's sufferer, but a Mensa tested genius and now No.2 to the boss of a very good, expanding IT company. He builds his own now! I built the next two for his 19yo cousin, severely dyslexic but uses a keyboard with terrific speeds and has a trick memory which retains everything. He can read and write via the internet but "All the words go wobbly and fade" when trying to write, so he does all written communication on his PC or laptop. He also builds his own now and uses any device with speed and efficiency. He also uses Teletext and Subtitles, to learn reading. His 21 yo sister is an ex-chef turned Commercial bank employee, who uses the internet only at work and her ancient HP laptop we gave her, just for music, video and FB: hates anything more complex on the Net!


    The 13 yo is an A* grammar school student, little sister and possible future competitor for her 24 yo brother, who has built her laptop and desktop at work. She learns programming and Server Tech from him! If Big Bro is unavailable, granddad or 19yo cousin is called. I don't know how long I can keep up with all of this, but I am very willing to keep learning and trying.


    To me, there is no competition between generations, new knowledge, experiences and modern tech. I really like talking to younger people and I meet many of the peers and friends of my grandbrats, all of whom know they can talk to me as a representative of my generation, about anything. Several say that their grandparents (and, far too often, their parents) grumble about their device use and do not try to understand them or what they actually do with tech. That is sad, IMO: why not attempt to share their lives more, by perhaps learning a little IT online or locally?


    I learned to embrace the modern world and take from modern Tech what I needed to work, relax and communicate. This Oldphart is still occasionally Behind The Curve, but mentally galloping hard to catch up. Whilst enduring cancer Chemo treatment.
    Last edited by Robisere; 10-11-2018 at 12:03 PM.
    I think this job really needs
    a much bigger hammer.
    • Sunny Intervals
    • By Sunny Intervals 10th Nov 18, 12:23 PM
    • 710 Posts
    • 2,385 Thanks
    Sunny Intervals
    a) That is an incredibly fake-sounding conversation, most likely made up to make her look good.

    b) The point could have been made much more succinctly. This long rant gives the impression that the author is overly fond of listening to herself/having people listen to her.

    c) I think they're both full of s***, but at least Granny confined her s*** to a couple of folk at a wedding instead of spreading it all over the internet like a giant attention w****.

    d) Maybe if she spent less time writing blathery screeds on the internet, she'd have the time to manage the struggles of this new generation.

    e) I am grumpy this morning. This may be reflected in a)-d).
    • Red-Squirrel
    • By Red-Squirrel 10th Nov 18, 12:23 PM
    • 3,579 Posts
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    Red-Squirrel
    I really don’t envy parents today dealing with the minefields of social media and technology.

    Fact is, it’s here to stay, and kids have to learn how to use it responsibly and safely.

    Criticism from judgemental older people who don’t have to actually deal with it just harp on from the sidelines seems highly unhelpful to me.
    • Sunny Intervals
    • By Sunny Intervals 10th Nov 18, 12:37 PM
    • 710 Posts
    • 2,385 Thanks
    Sunny Intervals
    Honestly, I think I've just reached saturation point with these sanctimonious FB screeds. They seem to be less about whatever the issue is and more about what an amazing and morally superior person the author is.


    There was one a couple of days ago about a woman who breastfed a stranger's hungry child. It should have just been a kind moment between two mothers, but no, the entire internet needed to know what a hero she was.
    • Red-Squirrel
    • By Red-Squirrel 10th Nov 18, 12:44 PM
    • 3,579 Posts
    • 9,595 Thanks
    Red-Squirrel
    Honestly, I think I've just reached saturation point with these sanctimonious FB screeds. They seem to be less about whatever the issue is and more about what an amazing and morally superior person the author is.


    There was one a couple of days ago about a woman who breastfed a stranger's hungry child. It should have just been a kind moment between two mothers, but no, the entire internet needed to know what a hero she was.
    Originally posted by Sunny Intervals
    You do know you don’t have to read them, don’t you?

    I scroll past loads of crap on the internet every day!
    • Sunny Intervals
    • By Sunny Intervals 10th Nov 18, 12:57 PM
    • 710 Posts
    • 2,385 Thanks
    Sunny Intervals
    You do know you don’t have to read them, don’t you?

    I scroll past loads of crap on the internet every day!
    Originally posted by Red-Squirrel

    Obviously, but they won't cease to exist if I scroll past them. It's like saying I shouldn't be annoyed about all these folk being stabbed because I can choose to scroll past the news story. Are people only allowed to be annoyed about things that they're forced to read at gunpoint?


    Sorry, I don't mean to be pi**y at you specifically, but I see this argument that people shouldn't be annoyed at anything that they can ignore all the time (I've probably made it myself), but ultimately ignoring a thing doesn't make it go away and often leads to the thing getting worse.
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