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  • FIRST POST
    • breaking_free
    • By breaking_free 8th Nov 18, 8:10 PM
    • 338Posts
    • 626Thanks
    breaking_free
    Just given my lodger notice
    • #1
    • 8th Nov 18, 8:10 PM
    Just given my lodger notice 8th Nov 18 at 8:10 PM
    Meh! I need to vent.

    A few months ago I advertised my spare room Monday to Friday only at £XXX per month. A very nice lady turns up and says she'll only need it 3 nights a week, not 5. Without prompting I knock £100 off the monthly rent. My reasoning is that I could make more having it as a 5-day let, but if she's only using it for 3 I shouldn't charge for 5. Needless to say she was extremely happy with this unprompted rent reduction.

    Roll on a few months and there have been a couple of weeks when she's not needed to use the room. There have also been a few weeks when she's used it fewer than 3 nights.

    Tonight she turns up out of the blue having "forgotten" to tell me that she'd like 5 nights this week. She's had all of last week and this week to tell me that she'd like to tack an extra 2 nights on.

    I've calmly explained that I'm not happy - we have a contract for a 3-night a week rental and I've reduced the rent accordingly. If she'd told me ahead of time I'd have been quite amenable to an extra couple of nights.

    Her counter-argument is that she hasn't stayed here some nights so she "didn't think it would be a problem" if she stayed a couple of extra (without bloody telling me about it because she forgot!).

    A contract is a contract. She pays £XX pounds instead of £XXX for a 3 day a week rental instead of my advertised 5 day a week rental.

    I've given this lady her marching orders tonight. I feel like I should be upset, but I just feel quite relieved because for some reason I had a presentiment this might happen. I feel like if I'd acquiesced this would have been a slippery slope. Was I too harsh?

    My feeling is that I did her a favour by lowering the rent (£200 cheaper than her previous place, which wasn't even as nice as mine!) and she's taking the pee by assuming I'll accommodate her extra nights without notice.

    Your thoughts please.
    "The problem with internet quotes is that you cant always depend on their accuracy" - Abraham Lincoln, 1864
Page 2
    • Okrib
    • By Okrib 9th Nov 18, 10:15 AM
    • 139 Posts
    • 99 Thanks
    Okrib
    Totally fail to understand why you would react in that way.

    How would you have reacted if she asked for a refund for the nights she didn't use it? You'd have been rightly annoyed.

    Maybe she should have given you more notice, maybe she only just found out, and thought that it would not be a problem, especially given the fact she had been overpaying based on the use she was taking?

    I would have agreed to it, but asked for more notice if this was to ever happen in the future, and made sure that the rolling one month usage was never over the agreed number of nights.

    The grass is not always greener on the other side.
    • 25 Years On
    • By 25 Years On 9th Nov 18, 10:21 AM
    • 203 Posts
    • 349 Thanks
    25 Years On
    I think the correct response is "okay but please let me know next time, thanks".
    • breaking_free
    • By breaking_free 9th Nov 18, 10:43 AM
    • 338 Posts
    • 626 Thanks
    breaking_free
    Hey everyone, I really do appreciate your comments.

    I hold my hands up to being in the wrong. I did overreact, but as someone asked earlier there actually was a bit of an issue with personalities, which is why I woke up today feeling relieved that I've ended the contract.

    I've had 7 lodgers previously and never had an issue with allowing them extra nights, letting friends stay over, etc. The difference in this case was that she admitted she's known since last week that she wanted extra nights but didn't tell me - just presented it as a fait accompli.

    But you're all correct - the fault lies with me and I should have handled this better. Thanks for taking the time to set me right.
    "The problem with internet quotes is that you cant always depend on their accuracy" - Abraham Lincoln, 1864
    • TuppenceWorth
    • By TuppenceWorth 9th Nov 18, 11:45 AM
    • 45 Posts
    • 21 Thanks
    TuppenceWorth
    OP.
    You seem to have considered 2 options:
    Allow the five nights or offer 'matching orders'.

    Personally I would have given due consideration to the former.

    But what about option 3...
    "Sorry it's not as per our agreement but I'm happy for you to continue with the agreed days..."
    • breaking_free
    • By breaking_free 9th Nov 18, 11:50 AM
    • 338 Posts
    • 626 Thanks
    breaking_free
    So, I have a question for you all.

    I'm thinking that I should say something to her, along the lines of "I believe I've overreacted and I'm genuinely sorry for that", (but not asking her to stay because I don't want that).

    Would you let sleeping dogs lie or would you admit fault, apologise, and wish her all the best? If so, how would you say it?
    "The problem with internet quotes is that you cant always depend on their accuracy" - Abraham Lincoln, 1864
    • marliepanda
    • By marliepanda 9th Nov 18, 11:55 AM
    • 6,894 Posts
    • 14,989 Thanks
    marliepanda
    So, I have a question for you all.

    I'm thinking that I should say something to her, along the lines of "I believe I've overreacted and I'm genuinely sorry for that", (but not asking her to stay because I don't want that).

    Would you let sleeping dogs lie or would you admit fault, apologise, and wish her all the best? If so, how would you say it?
    Originally posted by breaking_free
    There's no point if you still want her to go.
    • AnotherJoe
    • By AnotherJoe 9th Nov 18, 11:56 AM
    • 11,509 Posts
    • 13,312 Thanks
    AnotherJoe
    If it will make you sleep better, I'd sugegst something like what you said "I believe I've overreacted and I'm genuinely sorry for that but we do seem to be different personalities that dont get along so its for the best we dont continue this arrangement, I wish you well""
    Please dont criticise my spelling. It's excellent. Its my typing that's bad.
    • marliepanda
    • By marliepanda 9th Nov 18, 11:57 AM
    • 6,894 Posts
    • 14,989 Thanks
    marliepanda
    If it will make you sleep better, I'd sugegst something like what you said "I believe I've overreacted and I'm genuinely sorry for that but we do seem to be different personalities that dont get along so its for the best we dont continue this arrangement, I wish you well""
    Originally posted by AnotherJoe
    I think that will 'help' the OP more than the lodger. I'd rather be asked to leave for a silly contractual wobble than to bring up a personality clash she may not be aware of...
    • PasturesNew
    • By PasturesNew 9th Nov 18, 12:14 PM
    • 64,951 Posts
    • 381,262 Thanks
    PasturesNew
    Total over-reaction.

    It might've been more sensible to just say "We had a 3 day agreement .... so I'll be charging you the extra £100 this week" ....

    But what's done's done. She probably feels "well out of it".
    • TuppenceWorth
    • By TuppenceWorth 9th Nov 18, 12:33 PM
    • 45 Posts
    • 21 Thanks
    TuppenceWorth
    I have re-read the original post.

    I don't see a demand, only a request with some context about why the request was made.

    No contractual wobble unless the contract did forbid any requests. The lodger should be rightly peeved...
    • AnotherJoe
    • By AnotherJoe 9th Nov 18, 2:26 PM
    • 11,509 Posts
    • 13,312 Thanks
    AnotherJoe
    I think that will 'help' the OP more than the lodger. I'd rather be asked to leave for a silly contractual wobble than to bring up a personality clash she may not be aware of...
    Originally posted by marliepanda

    Oh yes, this is all about the OP, thats why I said "if it will help you sleep better". Hopefully the lodger is fully cognizant the OP was a twit and doesn't feel bad herself.
    Please dont criticise my spelling. It's excellent. Its my typing that's bad.
    • CocoLouie
    • By CocoLouie 9th Nov 18, 4:50 PM
    • 74 Posts
    • 62 Thanks
    CocoLouie
    Massive over reaction. But there is no point saying sorry now if she isn't allowed to stay.


    I would bet that the clash of personalities was caused by you given how you have reacted to this and you previously saying she was very nice.


    If you are prone to act like this with lodgers you should consider not having any more
    • Kynthia
    • By Kynthia 9th Nov 18, 5:19 PM
    • 5,349 Posts
    • 7,454 Thanks
    Kynthia
    Clearly it doesn't work for you to have a lodger who chops and changes when they stay each week. You prefer consistency and notice of occassionaly change. So you're not a good fit and it's best to find someone new and ensure it's someone who is more consistent.
    Don't listen to me, I'm no expert!
    • capital0ne
    • By capital0ne 9th Nov 18, 6:59 PM
    • 561 Posts
    • 269 Thanks
    capital0ne
    I've had lodgers previously and I've not had a problem. It's the "I expect 2 nights extra but I forgot to tell you" that I took exception to.
    Originally posted by breaking_free
    I suppose you took exception to her not being there for two nights on her one night stays without any notice, but you don't mention that.

    You biggest mistake was dropping the rent, you should have stuck to 5 nights whether you use them or not.

    Total over reaction on your part.
    • nrsql
    • By nrsql 9th Nov 18, 7:34 PM
    • 1,825 Posts
    • 635 Thanks
    nrsql
    Hey everyone, I really do appreciate your comments.

    I hold my hands up to being in the wrong. I did overreact, but as someone asked earlier there actually was a bit of an issue with personalities, which is why I woke up today feeling relieved that I've ended the contract.

    I've had 7 lodgers previously and never had an issue with allowing them extra nights, letting friends stay over, etc. The difference in this case was that she admitted she's known since last week that she wanted extra nights but didn't tell me - just presented it as a fait accompli.

    But you're all correct - the fault lies with me and I should have handled this better. Thanks for taking the time to set me right.
    Originally posted by breaking_free
    That's what I thought when I read the first post.
    you didn't really want this lodger and this was an excuse or last straw. It is your home and you have to be comfortable with who is living in it.
    Sure you could have said ok and if you had wanted to keep her I'm sure you would have. Sounds as if you were less than businesslike in the conversation but that's probably just the result of the underlying issue.

    As to apologising - you could if it would make you feel better and it would probably help her when she looks back on it. Make sure her moving out is irrevocable though in case it turns into a conversation about her staying. Only apologise for the tone and maybe words.
    • financegeek
    • By financegeek 9th Nov 18, 8:04 PM
    • 81 Posts
    • 102 Thanks
    financegeek
    I think it's an over reaction but i probably would have done the same, which is why i don't have lodgers!

    I don't like plans changing last minute, so if i'm expecting someone to be around for 3 days i would have planned my week accordingly. to suddenly find out they're wanting to stay 5 days would annoy me and if i was already frustrated that would likely be the final straw.

    I'd be tempted to apologise, but don't expect a forgiving response. Maybe make it clear to your next lodger that you'll be flexible if you can but advance notice to change the arrangement is required?
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