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  • FIRST POST
    • Treadingwater02
    • By Treadingwater02 17th Oct 18, 1:45 PM
    • 37Posts
    • 226Thanks
    Treadingwater02
    New Diary - New Hope
    • #1
    • 17th Oct 18, 1:45 PM
    New Diary - New Hope 17th Oct 18 at 1:45 PM
    If you've clicked on to this post then thank you. I have been reading posts on here for years but never plucked up the courage to actually have a diary myself or comment on others.

    What's changed? I have been in debt all of my adult life (now approaching 40!) I have spent so many days and nights worrying about money, trying to keep my head above water, arguing with OH. This time last year things came to a head my OH and I split up for 12 weeks and were heading for divorce, lots of different reasons for this but main contributor was lack of money management and spiralling, out of control debt totalling for me without OH's around 45,000.

    I have been through moments where I have felt like their was no way out, that this was me for the rest of my life. The break up made me take stock, I realised that financially I was at rock bottom, but I took my head out of the sand and faced up to it, I was determined that no matter how bad it was their must be a solution and for the sake of my DD and my own sanity I would do something about it.

    A year on......................I have set up a DMP with Step Change, I have managed to get the debt down I owed to others (I had a great family but because I wasn't honest with them they let me take credit out in there names) I feel so much better about myself and more importantly I feel in control of my own finances. My OH and I are trying to put our marriage back together, which is not easy and has meant some difficult changes being made on both sides.

    I suppose the reason I'm writing this is I managed to pay another credit card up today and I text my mum (who is a great support) and she said "I knew you could do it, just think of those days when you thought their was no way out" and shes right, my life and state of mind is unrecognisable from what is was this time last year. If you are reading this thinking the same as I did last year, then I hope you take heart from this - there is always a solution, the day I set up my DMP with Step Change that night was the best nights sleep I had had in over 18 years.

    I am by no way out of debt although I have managed to get it under the 40,000 mark, I still have a long road a head of me but I am hoping that by keeping a diary it might give me the extra encouragement and motivation to keep on going, especially on those down days when I feel dis-heartened.

    Coming on to this site and reading all the posts has kept me going and I hope I can return that favour for someone else.
Page 3
    • GlendaSugarbean
    • By GlendaSugarbean 27th Feb 19, 6:07 AM
    • 526 Posts
    • 3,994 Thanks
    GlendaSugarbean
    Those baby steps will add up! You're sounding much more positive about the future, some regrets are understandable but you seem to have the suppprt you need to move on .
    • jwil
    • By jwil 27th Feb 19, 8:15 AM
    • 10,284 Posts
    • 35,739 Thanks
    jwil
    I hope you feel a bit brighter soon. Good the counselling is working.

    Hopefully once your ex clears out his stuff the house will feel like your own and you can make it how you like it!
    "If you can dream it, you can do it". Walt Disney
    • anna_1977
    • By anna_1977 27th Feb 19, 9:19 AM
    • 837 Posts
    • 1,154 Thanks
    anna_1977
    Good luck, sounds like you're getting sorted being on your own....it definitely does get easier.

    We have just come back from Disneyland Paris, the only thing I would recommend if you can afford it is to get the meal plan, we had full board plus which was a godsend. We pre-booked buffet restaurants for both lunch and dinner and then it was a small breakfast. I have no idea how much it costs as luckily it was free with the package but def worth looking at that - or just the half board one
    • Treadingwater02
    • By Treadingwater02 27th Feb 19, 2:16 PM
    • 37 Posts
    • 226 Thanks
    Treadingwater02
    Good luck, sounds like you're getting sorted being on your own....it definitely does get easier.

    We have just come back from Disneyland Paris, the only thing I would recommend if you can afford it is to get the meal plan, we had full board plus which was a godsend. We pre-booked buffet restaurants for both lunch and dinner and then it was a small breakfast. I have no idea how much it costs as luckily it was free with the package but def worth looking at that - or just the half board one
    Originally posted by anna_1977
    Luckily we had the half board package included in the package for free when we booked, a friend at work told me it was super expensive to eat out.

    Those baby steps will add up! You're sounding much more positive about the future, some regrets are understandable but you seem to have the suppprt you need to move on .
    Originally posted by GlendaSugarbean
    I am feeling more positive with each day that goes by it gets a little easier

    I hope you feel a bit brighter soon. Good the counselling is working.

    Hopefully once your ex clears out his stuff the house will feel like your own and you can make it how you like it!
    Originally posted by jwil
    That's what I'm hoping! It feels like quite a significant step in the right direction.

    Glad to say I'm having a good day today, I've got lots of little jobs out of the way so feeling like I've actually achieved something.
    • Treadingwater02
    • By Treadingwater02 27th Mar 19, 12:21 PM
    • 37 Posts
    • 226 Thanks
    Treadingwater02
    I haven't been on here for a while, probably due to the fact that I have had lots going on and simply didn't want to write it all down............but this is the type of behaviour that lead me here in the first place, burying my head in the sand and expecting a miracle to happen, I know it's not going to happen and the only way to face problems is to own them, plan and work very hard to get on track.

    Ok, here goes...............I have had major issues with the house, not just cosmetics but rotten floor joists, dangerous electrics and no money to sort them, my EF is all used up, I've sold absolutely everything that I can to raise money and this month I have finally had to accept that I'm not going to be able to make my DMP payment, I feel absolutely mortified at this and feels like a step backwards. I have called them and they said it will go down as a missed payment.

    I am doing everything I can but safety comes first and as I have a child I need to make the house safe that is priority!

    I just feel rotten that I'm going to miss this payment, I haven't missed any payments for the last 18 months and that has felt so good. Well, I suppose the only thing to do is "to keep on moving forward" as the Robinson's say.
    • jwil
    • By jwil 28th Mar 19, 6:38 PM
    • 10,284 Posts
    • 35,739 Thanks
    jwil
    Life happens, it's not missing a payment due to frivolity. You'll get back on it as soon as you can. Don't beat yourself up xx
    "If you can dream it, you can do it". Walt Disney
    • Treadingwater02
    • By Treadingwater02 2nd Apr 19, 11:50 AM
    • 37 Posts
    • 226 Thanks
    Treadingwater02
    So as thought I have missed my DMP payment this month but managed to pay all other important bills mortgage, council tax etc.

    Have managed to negotiate some free labour for fixing the joists so only had to pay for materials (friend at works partner is a builder, so I offered a couple of nights baby sitting and his replaced all the joists for me). My brother in-law is going to do the electrics and then I am paying for an electrician to come in and check the work.

    This month is going to be tight but I will just have to knuckle down and do the best I can, I determined to get back on track and make all payments for the end of April!
    • Treadingwater02
    • By Treadingwater02 3rd Apr 19, 11:57 AM
    • 37 Posts
    • 226 Thanks
    Treadingwater02
    Ok, time to get motivated!!

    I have started to do surveys again, going to try and be focused on just a couple so that I can keep track. Even though I said I've sold everything that I can, I think if I have a thorough tidy up and declutter I can probably find a few extra bits to sell. I've set myself the target of making 100 paid this month which I think is doable and can go towards materials for the kitchen.

    Money made toward target so far:
    4.35/100

    It's not a lot but its a start!
    • jwil
    • By jwil 4th Apr 19, 6:37 PM
    • 10,284 Posts
    • 35,739 Thanks
    jwil
    Good luck
    "If you can dream it, you can do it". Walt Disney
    • Treadingwater02
    • By Treadingwater02 10th Apr 19, 8:40 AM
    • 37 Posts
    • 226 Thanks
    Treadingwater02
    Thanks jwil for popping in and cheering me on!

    Quick update:
    17.70/100 - slowly creeping up!

    Trying to be focused and stay on top of things, but feeling very, very tired at the moment which has quashed my enthusiasm. Hopefully an early night will help, I have a mountain of things to do but no energy to do them.
    • Treadingwater02
    • By Treadingwater02 11th Apr 19, 8:09 AM
    • 37 Posts
    • 226 Thanks
    Treadingwater02
    So had a little Brucie Bonus arrive in my email last night, I applied to my water company to see if I was eligible to go on to their essential tariff, apparently depending on your circumstances you can get anything up to 40% reduction so I filled in the form gave them a copy of my budget and they have given me a 20% reduction on my bill so that's about 92.00 a year saved!! YAY!!! I thought I had reduced my bills as far as I could................lesson learnt keep on plugging away and calling people and their is money to be saved.

    I think that was the little pick me up I needed, I feel fired up to see where else I can save or make money.
    • Treadingwater02
    • By Treadingwater02 12th Apr 19, 9:18 AM
    • 37 Posts
    • 226 Thanks
    Treadingwater02
    27.70/100 - it's getting there!

    Planned a couple of cheap days out next week, it will be nice to get out of the house and spend some quality time with DD.
    • jwil
    • By jwil 13th Apr 19, 3:32 PM
    • 10,284 Posts
    • 35,739 Thanks
    jwil
    Great result on the water
    "If you can dream it, you can do it". Walt Disney
    • Honeysucklelou2
    • By Honeysucklelou2 16th Apr 19, 2:26 AM
    • 1,558 Posts
    • 7,798 Thanks
    Honeysucklelou2
    Hi Treadingwater02,

    Just read through your diary...well done on getting the debt total lower. Sounds like you've had a lot to deal with house repairs etc. I'm a single parent too so cheering you on your journey to being debt free.
    paydbx2019 #93 572.38/10,100 .
    School trips 1016/1269..
    EF 210
    • Treadingwater02
    • By Treadingwater02 23rd Apr 19, 10:57 AM
    • 37 Posts
    • 226 Thanks
    Treadingwater02
    Thanks Honeysuckle, it is hard being a single parent, I think what I find the hardest is saying no, it's those little things if we are out and DD says can I have.........and I have to say no because I just cannot afford it, but I suppose that in the long run it does teach the value of money.

    I've set up a bank account for DD in her own name and she has the banking app on her phone and I encourage her to regularly check her balance and get her to work out how much she has left if she wants to buy something. I desperately want her to understand money and not be like the former me!!
    • Treadingwater02
    • By Treadingwater02 23rd Apr 19, 11:01 AM
    • 37 Posts
    • 226 Thanks
    Treadingwater02
    Total so far: 119.17/100!! YAY I did it!!

    I'm going to roll the extra 119.17 over to next month and see if I can make another 100.

    This debt busting is a total emotional roller coaster, some days I feel like "yes, I can do this" then others I'm "I'm so fed up and feel its never ending" and that's without all the other curve balls that life likes to throw in!
    • Treadingwater02
    • By Treadingwater02 25th Apr 19, 1:18 PM
    • 37 Posts
    • 226 Thanks
    Treadingwater02
    Pay Day Today!!

    I look forward to paid day every month as i know its another month that I'm paying my debt down and in fabulous news when I get paid next month my debt total will officially drop from the 40k bracket into the 30k bracket!!! Never thought I'd get there but its within touching distant now and feels like a real achievement, I know its still a big amount to owe but its going in the right direction.

    I've joined the sealed pot challenge as an extra to keep me motivated and have potted a little bit here and there, I'm going to take a look at some of the other challenges as I feel ready to take on a bit more action!
    • enthusiasticsaver
    • By enthusiasticsaver 25th Apr 19, 5:00 PM
    • 8,373 Posts
    • 19,187 Thanks
    enthusiasticsaver
    Well done on getting that debt paid down in spite of your separation and house issues. Hopefully your kitchen is coming along ok.
    Early retired in December 2017

    I'm a Board Guide on the Debt-Free Wannabe, Mortgages and Endowments, Banking and Budgeting boards. I volunteer to help get your forum questions answered and keep the forum running smoothly. Any views are mine and not the official line of moneysavingexpert.com. Pease remember, board guides don't read every post. If you spot an illegal or inappropriate post then please report it to forumteam@moneysavingexpert.com
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