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    • Hazelnutty
    • By Hazelnutty 5th Oct 18, 9:02 PM
    • 191Posts
    • 1,001Thanks
    Hazelnutty
    Hazelnutty's New Start
    • #1
    • 5th Oct 18, 9:02 PM
    Hazelnutty's New Start 5th Oct 18 at 9:02 PM
    Hi everyone

    I've been an MSEr for many years although on and off the forums (I was a total addict of the families board when I was expecting DD) A lot's changed in my life in the last 18 months and it's a new start in many ways so I thought I'd come back and start a diary to help me get me on course. I could do with the support of you lovely people along the way

    My ex & I separated (more or less totally amicably) and have divided our financial lives. I took on our new house on my own, which I could do (just!) by remortaging over a longer period (we would have paid it off in 13 years - now it's 25 ) and he took all the money - a division that made sense for various reasons. We now both have new partners now. Mine can't work and I'm supporting me, OH and DD on my salary (with child support from my ex and a kind gift of some safety net savings from my Mum so I wouldn't crash if anything happened).

    So now I'm rebuilding. Since moving careers after finishing my PhD I'd earned a lot less than my ex so I've been getting used to having less now and needing to plan and prioritise more than before. I'm now into my 40s so if I can avoid being saddled with my mortgage into my 60s that'd be great!

    I'm pretty careful and I save and budget for things like car insurance, holidays etc but after I've squirrelled that away, I'm not left with much to OP or stash for savings. I currently pay £670/month on approx £155k mortgage and top up OP to £700, so it's not much but I'm determined to increase it! I do what I think are Tilly Tidies every day (£1 + whatever pennies are in my current account) but I've just been transferring them into my general savings. That'll be the first thing to turn into an OP. Clearing out stuff for sale on F@cebook too although I've found it pretty frustrating (I work long hours and so get a bit fed up with flakiness). My OH is getting into batch cooking and we're pretty good generally with meal plans etc. But basically I'm pretty up for trying stuff to chip away at the mortgage

    DD's calling me for stories so I'll carry on later! Thanks for listening!
    Last edited by Hazelnutty; 05-10-2018 at 9:25 PM.
Page 9
    • Crumpets
    • By Crumpets 1st Jan 19, 12:46 PM
    • 999 Posts
    • 3,174 Thanks
    Crumpets
    Hi Hazelnutty, Happy new year to you,

    I think the transition year of new life and circumstances are always going to be hard, as it's out of your comfort zone. Like you say, see this as a starting point, a fresh new year that you can spend concentrating on all the new things that make you happy. Maybe as part of your health goals you could reduce or cut out social media? Or have a 'friend' declutter so that you only have people on your feed that you are generally interested in seeing and that are an active part of your life. I really feel that social media has a lot to answer for, it seems to impact a lot of people in a negative way

    Lots of luck in achieving your goals for 2019 and enjoy Dr Who
    Mortgage March 2011 £143,927.6
    Mortgage Jan 2019 £79,664.66
    • newgirly
    • By newgirly 1st Jan 19, 1:14 PM
    • 6,590 Posts
    • 45,841 Thanks
    newgirly
    Hi Hazelnutty, good advice from crumpets there! Sounds like the new year blues , I hate New Yearís Eve and we stay in usually. Hopefully you feel a bit better today and all the people on Facebook partying away last night are hungover now, whilst you are hopefully rested and planning your fab year ahead

    HAPPY NEW YEAR
    MFW 21

    £79,000 left, target £16k in 2019
    • the cross rabbit
    • By the cross rabbit 1st Jan 19, 8:12 PM
    • 351 Posts
    • 2,071 Thanks
    the cross rabbit
    Sending virtual Hugs. Happy New Year Hazelnutty.
    CRx
    Mortgage £82,000, due to end July 2036. 18/1/2019 Mortgage £79,150.55
    #67 mortgage free wannabe 2019 £89.09/£800
    • greent
    • By greent 1st Jan 19, 9:41 PM
    • 7,729 Posts
    • 78,818 Thanks
    greent
    I'd second unfriending people on SM - or if you feel you need to keep people on there then unfollow them so you don't see their posts. xx
    I am the master of my fate; I am the captain of my soul
    Repaid mtge early (orig 11/25) 01/09 £124616 01/10 £104927 01/11 £89873 01/12 £76317 01/13 £52546 01/14 £35356 01/15 £12133 07/15 £NIL
    BTL Mtge 12/16 £69786 12/18 £54829 2019 OPs (#18) £421.46/£5K
    Net sales 2019 £33.81/£500
    • Hazelnutty
    • By Hazelnutty 4th Jan 19, 10:57 AM
    • 191 Posts
    • 1,001 Thanks
    Hazelnutty
    Thanks everyone

    I think you're all right on social media. I'm part of an academic network on FB that I find a great source of support and I use the selling pages but otherwise I'm going to limit my time on there as that's the main source of the blues (as people parade their unreal lives on there endlessly). I am definitely unfollowing people now, including that supposed friend who never bothered... it adds nothing to my life to see their updates and I'd rather concentrate on people who do. Twitter I use only for work so that's fine. I don't tend (touch wood) to get trolled or into personal stuff. I'm not on any other platforms.

    Feeling a little more positive now although struggling to get back into work mode, probably like everyone else! Lovely short walk in the country park on our doorstep this morning with OH to get me going, which may be better than trying to run every day. Just the fresh air and natural light do wonders for me.

    Finance-wise Christmas is a bit of a pain as my CC cuts off on 16th off the month, so most of my festive spending (presents, food and some sale shopping) is falling in one month. My CC will definitely be higher than normal, even if technically I'm within my budget by salary month (if that makes sense!) It should all come out in the wash though and I'll be on track again in Feb. OH and I have booked one night away near my birthday as a treat and I am doing some minor house spending (an outdoor storage box for the garden today) but otherwise trying to get back into good habits and save.
    Choose kind
    MFW 2019 #103
    • themadvix
    • By themadvix 4th Jan 19, 5:43 PM
    • 2,127 Posts
    • 12,122 Thanks
    themadvix
    I'd third the social media stuff and glad you've given it a go. I found I was pointlessly scrolling through FB too much, so I've deactivated my account. I do pop back on (maybe once a week, or less), but find I've not missed anything. I won't delete it just yet as I do use it for Brownies/selling groups, but life is less cluttered without it! I am also limiting my exposure to the news - I was finding it too depressing and becoming obsessed with hearing what was going on. I think I'm happier for knowing less!

    The morning walk sounds lovely - nothing better than fresh air and daylight.
    OPs 2018 = £2090
    Moving savings = £3085
    OPs 2017 = £3103
    Starting balance 2012: £132000; balance Jul 2018: £91,552
    MFW2018 no. 38
    • newgirly
    • By newgirly 4th Jan 19, 10:21 PM
    • 6,590 Posts
    • 45,841 Thanks
    newgirly
    Thatís a good point vix, I read an article on mr money mustacheís blog a while ago about reducing exposure to the news and it made quite a bit of sense to me, it can be so relentless and depressing sometimes, Iíve cut back a lot although still watch question time /Andrew marr so I feel Iím not totally clueless

    Itís not like the old days when you read the paper at the weekend, now itís popping Up on your phone twenty four hours a day

    Sorry Hazelnutty , hijacking your thread!
    MFW 21

    £79,000 left, target £16k in 2019
    • Hazelnutty
    • By Hazelnutty 5th Jan 19, 12:08 PM
    • 191 Posts
    • 1,001 Thanks
    Hazelnutty
    Not at all, newgirly! TBH I often have to turn the news off (my alarm is radio 4) as it gets me off to such a bad start. Sometimes it's the interviewers as much as the interviewees! I used to have a job that meant I needed to be on top of the political news especially, now I just couldn't do it! Unfortunately my dad bought me a subscription to a particular political publication for Christmas, so that's popping through our door every week! It's not that I don't agree with the content it's that I can't bear to read it as it's so depressing.

    The person on my FB group suggested 5' meditation, 15' walk, 20' writing every morning and no email until lunchtime. If you added 'no news or social media' until lunchtime that sounds like a perfect recipe! I've downloaded a meditation app so going to give that a go.

    We're off to OH's parents for a Christmas get-together. I dread these kind of things even though everyone is lovely. Groups are tiring for me, making small-talk and answering questions etc. The fact that one of the kittens nibbled on the cake OH spent the morning making for the event means she's not in the best of moods either. Just waiting for DD to get back from judo then we're off. Might fit in a quick jog around the park to clear my head...

    Catch you all later
    Choose kind
    MFW 2019 #103
    • Karmacat
    • By Karmacat 5th Jan 19, 4:37 PM
    • 30,544 Posts
    • 178,243 Thanks
    Karmacat
    Hope the festive event went well - some events have been tiring this year for me, either too frantic or too loud or just not enough fresh air that day. It would be nice to think your walk in the park helped you get well set
    Downsized and paid off mortgage 2010
    Retired August 2016
    Paid off French mortgage September 2018
    • Hazelnutty
    • By Hazelnutty 6th Jan 19, 3:17 PM
    • 191 Posts
    • 1,001 Thanks
    Hazelnutty
    Thanks, Karma. We were there for 5 hours instead of the expected 3 and I was knackered! But it went fine, mainly due to one of the cousins being there who's very much on our wavelength and helps mitigate the fuss and noise of some of the others.

    Picked up a 2-drawer filing cabinet from my favourite hospice shop recently so spent a little while this morning sorting through paperwork to go into it. Found the final payment documentation for a car loan about 14 years ago so have put in an enquiry on PPI. Fingers crossed! I doubt it'd be much as it was a cheapish car and I paid it off early but let's see... Also prompted me to log into Plusnet to check on my broadband and phone contract. Have diarised to give them a call when my 2-year contract expires in April... I may be struggling with proper work but procrastinating by doing household management stuff seems to be working a charm!
    Choose kind
    MFW 2019 #103
    • themadvix
    • By themadvix 7th Jan 19, 9:46 AM
    • 2,127 Posts
    • 12,122 Thanks
    themadvix

    The person on my FB group suggested 5' meditation, 15' walk, 20' writing every morning and no email until lunchtime. If you added 'no news or social media' until lunchtime that sounds like a perfect recipe! I've downloaded a meditation app so going to give that a go.
    Originally posted by Hazelnutty
    I love the sound of this, although I couldn't do the email bit as that's how my work arrives. I might have a go at implementing the meditation and walk. Was the writing related to the group's academic focus (I think you said it was an academic group!)?
    OPs 2018 = £2090
    Moving savings = £3085
    OPs 2017 = £3103
    Starting balance 2012: £132000; balance Jul 2018: £91,552
    MFW2018 no. 38
    • Hazelnutty
    • By Hazelnutty 10th Jan 19, 6:40 PM
    • 191 Posts
    • 1,001 Thanks
    Hazelnutty
    Hi Vix

    Yes, the idea was to stay in touch with your research every day even if it's doodling or mind-mapping. Once term starts it can be difficult to find time for writing, so this little amount every day should help. That's the theory - I'm not doing so well in practice!
    Choose kind
    MFW 2019 #103
    • Hazelnutty
    • By Hazelnutty 10th Jan 19, 6:47 PM
    • 191 Posts
    • 1,001 Thanks
    Hazelnutty
    I've just paid a 50% deposit for our family hols this summer, which is financially but in every other way. We're going for a week's adventure hols in Wales, full board so no cooking or washing up, which OH and I really need! It puts my holiday virtual pot in deficit but it'll break even in a couple of months. I have until mid-June to save up the other 50%. Luckily finances ease up exactly around that time as I don't pay school fees then. So I think I'll be OK.

    I haven't booked anything like this since the new chapter in my life started. I haven't dared. Just the thought of a big one-off expense But I work hard and we need a break, so I'm trying to stay I CAN DO THIS!

    NY resolution wise I've completely failed so far on the exercise front but I've been doing meditation every morning this week and should be able to get to my first yoga class next week. How is everyone else doing?
    Choose kind
    MFW 2019 #103
    • themadvix
    • By themadvix 11th Jan 19, 9:06 AM
    • 2,127 Posts
    • 12,122 Thanks
    themadvix
    to the holiday - it sounds like it'll be fun too!
    OPs 2018 = £2090
    Moving savings = £3085
    OPs 2017 = £3103
    Starting balance 2012: £132000; balance Jul 2018: £91,552
    MFW2018 no. 38
    • the cross rabbit
    • By the cross rabbit 11th Jan 19, 11:46 AM
    • 351 Posts
    • 2,071 Thanks
    the cross rabbit
    Holidays are essential in this household it keeps us all motivated on our MF quest. Love Wales, we are going this year too. Are you going North or South?
    CRx
    Mortgage £82,000, due to end July 2036. 18/1/2019 Mortgage £79,150.55
    #67 mortgage free wannabe 2019 £89.09/£800
    • Hazelnutty
    • By Hazelnutty 11th Jan 19, 9:42 PM
    • 191 Posts
    • 1,001 Thanks
    Hazelnutty
    South and West - Pembrokeshire coast
    Choose kind
    MFW 2019 #103
    • newgirly
    • By newgirly 12th Jan 19, 8:31 AM
    • 6,590 Posts
    • 45,841 Thanks
    newgirly
    Iím not doing so great with my resolution to excercise more yet, but have started WW again and still donít drink alcohol.

    The holiday sounds a good money idea and well deserved
    MFW 21

    £79,000 left, target £16k in 2019
    • the cross rabbit
    • By the cross rabbit 12th Jan 19, 10:57 AM
    • 351 Posts
    • 2,071 Thanks
    the cross rabbit
    we're going to the gower. We've went to the pembrokeshire coastline years ago, beautiful area.
    CRx
    Mortgage £82,000, due to end July 2036. 18/1/2019 Mortgage £79,150.55
    #67 mortgage free wannabe 2019 £89.09/£800
    • Crumpets
    • By Crumpets 13th Jan 19, 3:23 PM
    • 999 Posts
    • 3,174 Thanks
    Crumpets
    Hi Hazelnutty

    Your holiday sounds amazing, a week of no cooking or washing up would be bliss! definitely money well spent Holidays are so important to me, they make life more fun!

    How is your meditation going? what app is it that you're using? I feel I would benefit greatly from some morning meditation. This year we have introduced a weekly family meeting so that everyone knows what is going on and what needs doing. I've found this to remove a lot of 'mind baggage' as I feel it's not all on my shoulders once it's shared with the family.

    I hope you're enjoying your Sunday
    Mortgage March 2011 £143,927.6
    Mortgage Jan 2019 £79,664.66
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