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  • FIRST POST
    • Sleazy
    • By Sleazy 15th Sep 18, 8:58 AM
    • 12,926Posts
    • 23,942Thanks
    Sleazy
    Potty Poetry And Maniacal Mumblings
    • #1
    • 15th Sep 18, 8:58 AM
    Potty Poetry And Maniacal Mumblings 15th Sep 18 at 8:58 AM
    I like making up short rhymes and sometimes post them on forum threads.
    I've also enjoyed rhymes and ditty's that other posters have published in various threads on the forum.

    I thought it might be nice to collate them in one place in order to make them easier for others to find, read and hopfully enjoy.

    I'll start by posting a couple of my own silly rhymes that I've already posted on other threads within the last day or two, so my apologies if anybody has seen them already.
    Last edited by Sleazy; 16-09-2018 at 1:09 PM.
    (P)earl Of The Alphabetty
    Nabob Of None
Page 1
    • Sleazy
    • By Sleazy 15th Sep 18, 9:00 AM
    • 12,926 Posts
    • 23,942 Thanks
    Sleazy
    • #2
    • 15th Sep 18, 9:00 AM
    • #2
    • 15th Sep 18, 9:00 AM
    You may think that I'm a Wassock,
    Yes, a Wassock I might be.
    I've always been a Wassock,
    'Cos I were born like that you see.

    But Wassocks do have feelings,
    And sensitive they be.
    So by calling me a "Wassock",
    My tears you may see.
    (P)earl Of The Alphabetty
    Nabob Of None
    • Sleazy
    • By Sleazy 15th Sep 18, 9:02 AM
    • 12,926 Posts
    • 23,942 Thanks
    Sleazy
    • #3
    • 15th Sep 18, 9:02 AM
    • #3
    • 15th Sep 18, 9:02 AM
    Fat was thin,
    Bald was hairy.
    So thus said
    My aunty Mary.

    Was always strange,
    And quite contrary.
    Born a woman,
    Died a fairy.
    (P)earl Of The Alphabetty
    Nabob Of None
    • Pyxis
    • By Pyxis 15th Sep 18, 9:54 AM
    • 39,820 Posts
    • 146,656 Thanks
    Pyxis
    • #4
    • 15th Sep 18, 9:54 AM
    • #4
    • 15th Sep 18, 9:54 AM
    Ahem! I hate to mention it, but.........


    https://forums.moneysavingexpert.com/showthread.php?t=4984390&highlight=poetry+thread


    (I just lurve spiders! )
    INFJ(Turbulent).

    Her Greenliness Baroness Pyxis of the Alphabetty, Pinnacle of Peadom and Official Brainbox
    Founder Member: 'WIMPS ANONYMOUS' and 'VICTIMS of the RANDOM HEDGEHOG'
    I'm in a clique! It's a clique of one! It's a unique clique!
    • Sleazy
    • By Sleazy 15th Sep 18, 11:33 AM
    • 12,926 Posts
    • 23,942 Thanks
    Sleazy
    • #5
    • 15th Sep 18, 11:33 AM
    • #5
    • 15th Sep 18, 11:33 AM
    Well, thank ee very much m'lady.
    You are correct of coarse, and t'reason why I didn't see it was that no blighter had posted there for about 300 days (ten mumps).

    I will arks one of the luvly forum team members to delete this thread and start to post my creations in t'existing one.

    Edit - Request sent, together with apologies for my duplicity duplication.
    Last edited by Sleazy; 15-09-2018 at 11:58 AM. Reason: Request sent to Forum Team
    (P)earl Of The Alphabetty
    Nabob Of None
    • Pyxis
    • By Pyxis 15th Sep 18, 3:08 PM
    • 39,820 Posts
    • 146,656 Thanks
    Pyxis
    • #6
    • 15th Sep 18, 3:08 PM
    • #6
    • 15th Sep 18, 3:08 PM
    Well, thank ee very much m'lady.
    You are correct of coarse, and t'reason why I didn't see it was that no blighter had posted there for about 300 days (ten mumps).

    I will arks one of the luvly forum team members to delete this thread and start to post my creations in t'existing one.

    Edit - Request sent, together with apologies for my duplicity duplication.
    Originally posted by Sleazy
    Well, there's no real reason why you can't start another poetry thread!
    (I just lurve spiders! )
    INFJ(Turbulent).

    Her Greenliness Baroness Pyxis of the Alphabetty, Pinnacle of Peadom and Official Brainbox
    Founder Member: 'WIMPS ANONYMOUS' and 'VICTIMS of the RANDOM HEDGEHOG'
    I'm in a clique! It's a clique of one! It's a unique clique!
    • Fruitcake
    • By Fruitcake 15th Sep 18, 5:43 PM
    • 37,709 Posts
    • 84,728 Thanks
    Fruitcake
    • #7
    • 15th Sep 18, 5:43 PM
    • #7
    • 15th Sep 18, 5:43 PM
    Well, there's no real reason why you can't start another poetry thread!
    Originally posted by Pyxis
    Why not call it the Potty Poetry fred.

    Roses are red,
    Violets are blue,
    Orchids are expensive,
    Will dandelions do?
    Last edited by Fruitcake; 19-09-2018 at 12:45 PM.
    I married my cousin. I had to...
    I don't have a sister.

    All my screwdrivers are cordless.
    "You're Safety Is My Primary Concern Dear" - Laks
    • Pyxis
    • By Pyxis 15th Sep 18, 5:45 PM
    • 39,820 Posts
    • 146,656 Thanks
    Pyxis
    • #8
    • 15th Sep 18, 5:45 PM
    • #8
    • 15th Sep 18, 5:45 PM
    Why not call it the Potty Poetry fred.

    Roses are red,
    Violets are blue,
    Orchids are expensive,
    Will dandelions?
    Originally posted by Fruitcake
    Oh DO!
    (I just lurve spiders! )
    INFJ(Turbulent).

    Her Greenliness Baroness Pyxis of the Alphabetty, Pinnacle of Peadom and Official Brainbox
    Founder Member: 'WIMPS ANONYMOUS' and 'VICTIMS of the RANDOM HEDGEHOG'
    I'm in a clique! It's a clique of one! It's a unique clique!
    • Sleazy
    • By Sleazy 15th Sep 18, 8:14 PM
    • 12,926 Posts
    • 23,942 Thanks
    Sleazy
    • #9
    • 15th Sep 18, 8:14 PM
    • #9
    • 15th Sep 18, 8:14 PM
    Oh DO!
    Originally posted by Pyxis
    I no understand ... Do what?
    'One' as per Germy Kyle?
    (P)earl Of The Alphabetty
    Nabob Of None
    • Fruitcake
    • By Fruitcake 15th Sep 18, 9:42 PM
    • 37,709 Posts
    • 84,728 Thanks
    Fruitcake
    I no understand ... Do what?
    'One' as per Germy Kyle?
    Originally posted by Sleazy
    Call it the Potty Poetry thread. (I think she means.)
    Mind you, I are only a bloke; a simple machine for turning beer into wee-wee, so I could be rong. In fact, most peoples only listen to me when I are rong.
    I married my cousin. I had to...
    I don't have a sister.

    All my screwdrivers are cordless.
    "You're Safety Is My Primary Concern Dear" - Laks
    • Sleazy
    • By Sleazy 16th Sep 18, 12:23 PM
    • 12,926 Posts
    • 23,942 Thanks
    Sleazy
    Now I get it! ... Duh!

    I knows sometimes I'm slow,
    And yes, tardy I may be,
    But when I finally gets the point
    There be no mallets malice in me.
    (P)earl Of The Alphabetty
    Nabob Of None
    • Sleazy
    • By Sleazy 16th Sep 18, 12:52 PM
    • 12,926 Posts
    • 23,942 Thanks
    Sleazy
    Call it the Potty Poetry thread. (I think she means.)
    Mind you, I are only a bloke; a simple machine for turning beer into wee-wee, so I could be rong. In fact, most peoples only listen to me when I are rong.
    Originally posted by Fruitcake
    I have now changed the name of Fred as Sir Jested.

    I would like to add however, that although many rhymes may come into our heads whilst 'on the throne', it would be best not to have any toilet 'potty' humour posted hereabouts. Not that any of us psychotic poetic types would do such a thing ...
    (P)earl Of The Alphabetty
    Nabob Of None
    • NBLondon
    • By NBLondon 16th Sep 18, 1:48 PM
    • 2,254 Posts
    • 11,597 Thanks
    NBLondon
    Parsifal the Pangolin
    Took lessons from a mandarin.
    To reach the highest standards in
    The playing of the mandolin.
    Womble #7 - Running Total £21.23 $4.28 €6.03 S//0.10 (10 Ukrainian kopiyki) Bds$0.10 A$0.25 NZ$0.55 C$0.89 S$0.20 zl0.12 (Polish zloty) LB0.22 (Bulgarian lev) ISKr5.0 DKr1.0 CHF0.60 R0.10 (Rand not Rupees) KD0.05 (Kuwaiti dinar) MDL0.25 (Moldovan leu) YUM 1.0 (Yugoslav dinar)
    • tealady
    • By tealady 16th Sep 18, 4:22 PM
    • 2,868 Posts
    • 3,535 Thanks
    tealady
    Not a poem but a limerick (don't know who originally wrote it)

    An old Norse god rode out one day
    Upon a handsome filly
    "I'm Thor" he cried
    And the horse replied
    Well you forgot your thaddle thilly!
    Proud to be an MSE nerd
    Judge people by their achievements, not by their mistakes
    • Pyxis
    • By Pyxis 16th Sep 18, 4:52 PM
    • 39,820 Posts
    • 146,656 Thanks
    Pyxis
    Not a poem but a limerick (don't know who originally wrote it)
    Originally posted by tealady
    There's a limerick thread as well, you know!

    I'm starting to sound like Pogofish, now!







    Roses are red,
    Violets are blue,
    Orchids are expensive,
    Will dandelions?
    Originally posted by Fruitcake
    Oh DO!
    Originally posted by Pyxis
    I no understand ... Do what?
    'One' as per Germy Kyle?
    Originally posted by Sleazy
    I didn't mean call it the pottingy shed thread.......

    Fruitcake's poem left out the "do" at the end, after "dandelions", to rhyme with "blue", because, or so I thought, he was writing a potty poem.
    That's what I thought, anyway, so I replied with "Oh DO!" partly to provide the missing "do" and partly to assent to being given dandelions, (much agin my better judgement), type thing.

    I sometimes think I'm wasted on this forum.
    Will my genius ever be acknowledgèd?
    A Damehood from Her Maj
    Is the least I could expect.
    I expect.
    (I just lurve spiders! )
    INFJ(Turbulent).

    Her Greenliness Baroness Pyxis of the Alphabetty, Pinnacle of Peadom and Official Brainbox
    Founder Member: 'WIMPS ANONYMOUS' and 'VICTIMS of the RANDOM HEDGEHOG'
    I'm in a clique! It's a clique of one! It's a unique clique!
    • Sleazy
    • By Sleazy 16th Sep 18, 5:39 PM
    • 12,926 Posts
    • 23,942 Thanks
    Sleazy
    ...
    I didn't mean call it the pottingy shed thread.......

    ...
    Originally posted by Pyxis
    As I shat within me shed,
    I stood up quick and bumped me 'ead!
    "Oh Dear" said I,
    "I've banged me 'ead,
    So best have wine and go to bed"!
    (P)earl Of The Alphabetty
    Nabob Of None
    • Pyxis
    • By Pyxis 16th Sep 18, 5:43 PM
    • 39,820 Posts
    • 146,656 Thanks
    Pyxis
    As I shat within me shed,
    I stood up quick and bumped me 'ead!
    "Oh Dear" said I,
    "I've banged me 'ead,
    So best have wine and go to bed"!
    Originally posted by Sleazy
    I thought toilet humour was banned?
    (I just lurve spiders! )
    INFJ(Turbulent).

    Her Greenliness Baroness Pyxis of the Alphabetty, Pinnacle of Peadom and Official Brainbox
    Founder Member: 'WIMPS ANONYMOUS' and 'VICTIMS of the RANDOM HEDGEHOG'
    I'm in a clique! It's a clique of one! It's a unique clique!
    • Sleazy
    • By Sleazy 16th Sep 18, 5:50 PM
    • 12,926 Posts
    • 23,942 Thanks
    Sleazy
    I thought toilet humour was banned?
    Originally posted by Pyxis
    Sittin' in me shed?
    Never 'eard of silent aitches?
    I'm not a manioc for nuffin' y'know ....
    (P)earl Of The Alphabetty
    Nabob Of None
    • Sleazy
    • By Sleazy 16th Sep 18, 9:21 PM
    • 12,926 Posts
    • 23,942 Thanks
    Sleazy
    I may be a Welly Wanger,
    Yes, a Wanger I may be
    But I does it in the moonlight,
    When nobody can see.

    Now, if you saw me Wanging,
    My wellies in the day.
    Most likely you'd dial 999
    And I'd be locked away
    (P)earl Of The Alphabetty
    Nabob Of None
    • Pyxis
    • By Pyxis 16th Sep 18, 9:31 PM
    • 39,820 Posts
    • 146,656 Thanks
    Pyxis
    I may be a Welly Wanger,
    Yes, a Wanger I may be
    But I does it in the moonlight,
    When nobody can see.

    Now, if you saw me Wanging,
    My wellies in the day.
    Most likely you'd dial 999
    And I'd be locked away
    Originally posted by Sleazy
    You want to watch out for the bats..... haha heehee hoho,
    Yes, you want to look out for the bats, I said, haha, heehee, hoho,
    Or else they'll be coming to take you away, haha heehee hoho heehee haha hoho!
    (I just lurve spiders! )
    INFJ(Turbulent).

    Her Greenliness Baroness Pyxis of the Alphabetty, Pinnacle of Peadom and Official Brainbox
    Founder Member: 'WIMPS ANONYMOUS' and 'VICTIMS of the RANDOM HEDGEHOG'
    I'm in a clique! It's a clique of one! It's a unique clique!
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