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  • FIRST POST
    • Smb3088
    • By Smb3088 14th Sep 18, 4:04 PM
    • 298Posts
    • 32Thanks
    Smb3088
    Leaving a dog
    • #1
    • 14th Sep 18, 4:04 PM
    Leaving a dog 14th Sep 18 at 4:04 PM
    I have a three year old yorkie x chi. She is my life.. just me and her and she is like my little baby. Up until now, I went part time so I could be with her at home. And she is so used to me coming and going, leaving her max 6/7 hours at a time, 3times a week. Not only do we do everything together, she is a total lap dog(2.5 kilos) relies on me for everything and is so sensitive. Now I must state I have serious anxiety as well when I am away from her too long. I worry about her for nothing, sheís like my comfort blanket so being away from her hurts me.

    That all said, Iím needing to and wanting to and am heading back to university for four years to get my masters degree in osteopathy. Itís 4 days 9-1730pm. The university is 28 minutes drive away from me. The first two years are in lectures a lot, with year 3&4 being less in lecture and more in clinic.
    Iím dreading leaving Bluefor four days a week 0900-1730. My mum reminds me dogs donít have care for time and sheíll be ok. Please can someone just assure me sheíll be ok, adapt and not change her personality or suffer without me as much as I will without her? Itís not forever, but Iím just so worried. (P.s- she doesnít need a dog walker as Iíll do morning and evening walks) will she be ok while Iím at uni..in her home where weíve lived 3 years , safe, comfortable and just lonely!
Page 1
    • Red-Squirrel
    • By Red-Squirrel 14th Sep 18, 11:35 PM
    • 3,268 Posts
    • 8,809 Thanks
    Red-Squirrel
    • #2
    • 14th Sep 18, 11:35 PM
    • #2
    • 14th Sep 18, 11:35 PM
    Osteopathy is pseudoscience, don't waste your time and money on it.

    Or if you must go ahead with it, get a dog walker, its not for the exercise necessarily its for the company and interaction and for some stimulation to break up the day. If she's ok for 7 hours 3 times a week already, then she hasn't got separation anxiety so she'll adjust fine to the new routine I would have thought.

    Please don't view your dog as a baby or a comfort blanket though, she is a dog, respect that and treat her like one for her sake!
    • elsien
    • By elsien 14th Sep 18, 11:55 PM
    • 17,128 Posts
    • 43,192 Thanks
    elsien
    • #3
    • 14th Sep 18, 11:55 PM
    • #3
    • 14th Sep 18, 11:55 PM
    I have to agree with Red-squirrel, both that the dog will be fine without you and that it might be wise to do something to break up the day for her. Gitdog will sleep all day when I'm out if neccessary but he's much happier with a bit of company and he's a complete !!!! later in the day if left unstimulated for any length of time.

    Having said that, wanting a dog that relies on you for everything isn't a good thing. If it were true, it would be very unfair on the dog. Sometimes things change and a bit of resilience is called for on both sides. You really don't want to create a dog with separation anxiety, it's so hard for them in those circumstances.
    All shall be well, and all shall be well, and all manner of things shall be well.

    Pedant alert - it's could have, not could of.
    • Smb3088
    • By Smb3088 15th Sep 18, 9:28 AM
    • 298 Posts
    • 32 Thanks
    Smb3088
    • #4
    • 15th Sep 18, 9:28 AM
    • #4
    • 15th Sep 18, 9:28 AM
    Thank you for your help and thoughts . I understand when you suggest I should not call her my baby , I get the reason why. But I do not have any family, literally I have not a soul in the uk, they all live abroad. So she is all I have and we do everything together. It’s nkt for life, it’s just while I’m getting my degree, long time, but heyyyy how fast does time fly. Every hour I have with her Iwill ensure it is well spent. I guess i am just hoping to hear it will be ok and it is not unheard of to leave your dog during the day, as I never have. I am thinking of asking student support if she can come with me. She is so tiny and well behaved she would curl on my lap and literally be better behaved than most students I guess. I know it is absurd, but they could only say no.. surely? Meaning I lose nothing I have?
    • Red-Squirrel
    • By Red-Squirrel 15th Sep 18, 9:31 AM
    • 3,268 Posts
    • 8,809 Thanks
    Red-Squirrel
    • #5
    • 15th Sep 18, 9:31 AM
    • #5
    • 15th Sep 18, 9:31 AM
    Thank you for your help and thoughts . I understand when you suggest I should not call her my baby , I get the reason why. But I do not have any family, literally I have not a soul in the uk, they all live abroad. So she is all I have and we do everything together. Itís nkt for life, itís just while Iím getting my degree, long time, but heyyyy how fast does time fly. Every hour I have with her Iwill ensure it is well spent. I guess i am just hoping to hear it will be ok and it is not unheard of to leave your dog during the day, as I never have. I am thinking of asking student support if she can come with me. She is so tiny and well behaved she would curl on my lap and literally be better behaved than most students I guess. I know it is absurd, but they could only say no.. surely? Meaning I lose nothing I have?
    Originally posted by Smb3088
    They will definitely say no.

    I live alone with my dogs, they are really important to me, but it would be cruel not to treat them as dogs, I would be thinking of my own needs more than theirs. Dogs don't want to be carried around and babied they want exercise, companionship and mental stimulation.
    • sheramber
    • By sheramber 15th Sep 18, 12:20 PM
    • 5,231 Posts
    • 3,901 Thanks
    sheramber
    • #6
    • 15th Sep 18, 12:20 PM
    • #6
    • 15th Sep 18, 12:20 PM
    Although she may not be upset by being left that long is it really fair to leave her for so long?

    What if she needs out?

    She needs company and stimulation.

    Having a dog walker visit during the day will be better for her welfare and you would worry less about her being left for so long.
    • Soph1988
    • By Soph1988 15th Sep 18, 8:31 PM
    • 54 Posts
    • 22 Thanks
    Soph1988
    • #7
    • 15th Sep 18, 8:31 PM
    • #7
    • 15th Sep 18, 8:31 PM
    Iíve had my dog for the last 9 years, heís a chihuahua cross Norfolk terrier and have worked Monday to Friday 8:30am to 5:30pm most of his life. These things really helped me manage this:

    When he was aged 1 to 5/6 years he REALLY benefited from a long walk in the mornings before work and a long one after. He was clearly more settled with this. As heís getting towards 10 years old heís less fussed now, but still enjoys the extra outings.

    Be prepared to have to make some serious sacrifices. You CANNOT be out all day and then go out for dinner for 3 hours after Uni. You HAVE to be there with them after your day and that is a huge restriction. Iíve had to turn down many events and outings throughout my 20ís to ensure the dog is happy and not alone longer than absolutely necessary. That is a LOT of a dedication thatís needed... be prepared now or rehome the dog.

    The dog needs some sort of routine, it settles them knowing you are coming back. That falls in line with the above. You canít just decide on Thursday night that your not getting home until 8-9pm.

    Be prepared to clean up wee and my suggestion is if you can, have your dog sleep somewhere which is spacious enough for them to walk around, eat and drink, and be relatively easy to clean up little weeís. A small dog doesnít leave a huge puddle, but it can stink after a bit. Youíll find yourself with ruined curtains / sofas etc if the dogs being left alone all day without being able to pee. You also cannot be angry with the dog for piddling all over your kitchen.

    A dog walker is a great idea if you can get it - but in reality your going to be a student and I assume you canít afford that as I couldnít for a long time.

    I found having my dog come and sleep on my bed each night really helped his mood. For a long time he slept downstairs and I noticed especially as he got a little older he seemed down. I let him sleep in the bed and heís really cheered up. I think for mine itís just about spending more time snuggled up to me.

    Be prepared to sacrifice a lot of social life for the dog. If I could go back 9 years and not have got him I would, i was 19 and loved then idea of a puppy and didnít think hard about it, but I did and Iíve stuck to my promise to him to put him first, after all, he didnít ask for me!

    Good luck!
    • Jojo the Tightfisted
    • By Jojo the Tightfisted 18th Sep 18, 10:48 PM
    • 24,824 Posts
    • 99,448 Thanks
    Jojo the Tightfisted
    • #8
    • 18th Sep 18, 10:48 PM
    • #8
    • 18th Sep 18, 10:48 PM
    It's only 90 minutes longer than you've already left her.

    Get a dogwalker for the middle of the day and you're sorted.

    And don't try the 'emotional support animal' thing. It's not a Guide Dog or other assistance dog, it's a pet you want to bring along; if a student genuinely needs a trained, working animal, they have it because they need it, but not pets. It wouldn't work well to expect people to come to a treatment session with a dog around (allergies, phobias, health & safety, etc), so why not get her settled away from you now, rather than when you're trying to make a living?
    I could dream to wide extremes, I could do or die: I could yawn and be withdrawn and watch the world go by.

    Yup you are officially Rock n Roll
    Originally posted by colinw
    • phryne
    • By phryne 20th Sep 18, 12:52 PM
    • 165 Posts
    • 228 Thanks
    phryne
    • #9
    • 20th Sep 18, 12:52 PM
    • #9
    • 20th Sep 18, 12:52 PM
    I have a three year old yorkie x chi. She is my life.. just me and her and she is like my little baby. Up until now, I went part time so I could be with her at home. And she is so used to me coming and going, leaving her max 6/7 hours at a time, 3times a week. Not only do we do everything together, she is a total lap dog(2.5 kilos) relies on me for everything and is so sensitive. Now I must state I have serious anxiety as well when I am away from her too long. I worry about her for nothing, sheís like my comfort blanket so being away from her hurts me.

    That all said, Iím needing to and wanting to and am heading back to university for four years to get my masters degree in osteopathy. Itís 4 days 9-1730pm. The university is 28 minutes drive away from me. The first two years are in lectures a lot, with year 3&4 being less in lecture and more in clinic.
    Iím dreading leaving Bluefor four days a week 0900-1730. My mum reminds me dogs donít have care for time and sheíll be ok. Please can someone just assure me sheíll be ok, adapt and not change her personality or suffer without me as much as I will without her? Itís not forever, but Iím just so worried. (P.s- she doesnít need a dog walker as Iíll do morning and evening walks) will she be ok while Iím at uni..in her home where weíve lived 3 years , safe, comfortable and just lonely!
    Originally posted by Smb3088
    And don't try the 'emotional support animal' thing. It's not a Guide Dog or other assistance dog, it's a pet you want to bring along; if a student genuinely needs a trained, working animal, they have it because they need it, but not pets.
    Originally posted by Jojo the Tightfisted
    Now that opens up a can of worms, - what actually is a support or assistance dog? We had a tenant here who got a puppy as an "assistance dog" for her young son who has autism. OP has severe anxiety, might it not (officially at least) be classed as an assistance dog for her, if she were to argue her case?

    I am asking, I don't know. I am genuinely curious as to what constitutes an assistance dog.
    • RandyRos
    • By RandyRos 20th Sep 18, 2:18 PM
    • 511 Posts
    • 214 Thanks
    RandyRos
    this might help. http://www.assistancedogs.org.uk/
    make pet healthcare more affordable. Will anyone please sign? https://chn.ge/2MPkuYG
    • anna_1977
    • By anna_1977 20th Sep 18, 2:28 PM
    • 744 Posts
    • 1,028 Thanks
    anna_1977
    borrowmydoggy.com - register and then people will walk/sit for her for free. I use it loads for walking
    • phryne
    • By phryne 20th Sep 18, 3:01 PM
    • 165 Posts
    • 228 Thanks
    phryne
    Originally posted by RandyRos
    It's a bit vague as to what constitutes the right to an assistance dog.
    If the OP has a disability that prevents her from being able to function normally in social situations would that count? It seems that ASD counts, if my neighbour is anything to go by.

    Slightly off topic now, anyway, sorry.
    • Jox
    • By Jox 20th Sep 18, 3:56 PM
    • 1,348 Posts
    • 2,829 Thanks
    Jox
    Once you have your masters in Osteopathy, will you then work in the field so might be out all day at work as well? Possibly with some late evenings?
    • sheramber
    • By sheramber 20th Sep 18, 4:07 PM
    • 5,231 Posts
    • 3,901 Thanks
    sheramber
    It's a bit vague as to what constitutes the right to an assistance dog.
    If the OP has a disability that prevents her from being able to function normally in social situations would that count? It seems that ASD counts, if my neighbour is anything to go by.

    Slightly off topic now, anyway, sorry.
    Originally posted by phryne
    At present in UK, only dogs trained and supplied by the registered assistance dog schemes are supplied with ID to identify them as official assistance dogs.

    There is no provision at present for dogs trained by an owner or other random member of the public to be registered as an assistance dog.

    Dogs are trained by the society's trainers to a set standard according to the needs of the recipient.

    If your tenant has a registered assistance dog she will have the society's ID for it.

    Dogs for autism in children are difficult to get so sometimes parents buy their own dog but it is not a registered assistance dog.
    • phryne
    • By phryne 20th Sep 18, 4:50 PM
    • 165 Posts
    • 228 Thanks
    phryne
    Dogs for autism in children are difficult to get so sometimes parents buy their own dog but it is not a registered assistance dog.
    Originally posted by sheramber
    She bought it as a puppy and appeared to be training it herself, so I guess she just self-declared it to be an assistance dog, and the Housing Assn allowed it (normally tenants are not allowed pets here)
    • Smb3088
    • By Smb3088 20th Sep 18, 8:27 PM
    • 298 Posts
    • 32 Thanks
    Smb3088
    UPDATE ON THE POST.I THINK everyone under estimates how much I LOVE MY DOG. I got her at 12 weeks old, I don’t have ANY FAMILY in this country, she is my best friend, I went part time for her, so I could be with her during the day. she comes first and always will. She sleeps in my bed (she’s only 2.5 kilos so is a tiny thing ) I don’t have a social life and before i am judged. I dont want one lol. Ok so leaving her made me consider deferring or giving up my uni place. so I went and spoke to the well-being officer and guess what... I can bring her along with me. They apparently said it’s no problem, they they are a dog friendly campus and they will speak with the caretaker as he has a little dog, so I can buy her a comfy safe crate, pop her in it and get her on breaks and lunch.
    I am elated !!! So for all those who are doubtful, sometimes all you need to do is make a plan, live in hope and the worst thing that could happen is get refused. But I had nothing to lose and everything to gain.
    After uni I am an osteopath, I can choose my working hours, and I will make it suit Blue. I maybe even open up a clinic from home, who knows ? But she comes first. And Red-squirrel osteopathy is not a pseudoscience.. we are not clairvoyants we are therapists that believe in all treatments apart from drugs... surely that should be the way we practice as a society
    • Smb3088
    • By Smb3088 20th Sep 18, 8:36 PM
    • 298 Posts
    • 32 Thanks
    Smb3088
    They do animal osteopathy at the campus. It’s a very small school of osteopathy, so bringing Blue was not absurd and they said others bring dogs, but I assume that’s more for one day occasionally, but they’re happy to find a safe place to sort Blue. She is so well behaved and trained by me to be very behaved , plus she is more like a big hamster size lol. So it seems I can actually function with the weight of worry off my shoulders, as I was so anxious leaving her and also losing our close companionship
    • Jox
    • By Jox 20th Sep 18, 9:20 PM
    • 1,348 Posts
    • 2,829 Thanks
    Jox
    Glad you found a solution!
    • Jojo the Tightfisted
    • By Jojo the Tightfisted 20th Sep 18, 10:05 PM
    • 24,824 Posts
    • 99,448 Thanks
    Jojo the Tightfisted
    UPDATE ON THE POST.I THINK everyone under estimates how much I LOVE MY DOG. I got her at 12 weeks old, I donít have ANY FAMILY in this country, she is my best friend, I went part time for her, so I could be with her during the day. she comes first and always will. She sleeps in my bed (sheís only 2.5 kilos so is a tiny thing ) I donít have a social life and before i am judged. I dont want one lol. Ok so leaving her made me consider deferring or giving up my uni place. so I went and spoke to the well-being officer and guess what... I can bring her along with me. They apparently said itís no problem, they they are a dog friendly campus and they will speak with the caretaker as he has a little dog, so I can buy her a comfy safe crate, pop her in it and get her on breaks and lunch.
    I am elated !!! So for all those who are doubtful, sometimes all you need to do is make a plan, live in hope and the worst thing that could happen is get refused. But I had nothing to lose and everything to gain.
    After uni I am an osteopath, I can choose my working hours, and I will make it suit Blue. I maybe even open up a clinic from home, who knows ? But she comes first. And Red-squirrel osteopathy is not a pseudoscience.. we are not clairvoyants we are therapists that believe in all treatments apart from drugs... surely that should be the way we practice as a society
    Originally posted by Smb3088

    We aren't underestimating how emotionally dependent you are upon your dog at all.

    It's good that somebody has agreed to keep it in a crate for you at no charge. Hopefully, they won't ever be off sick, get another job or retires in the next four years or so. It still wouldn't hurt to look into dog walking services for times where the friendly caretaker isn't around to help you out.


    (for what it's worth, I do think that osteopathy/manual therapy has a place in treating some conditions. Just as long as the practitioner isn't advising against essential medication, ignoring interactions and contradictions because they' don't believe in drugs' or flogging supplements of dubious provenance, they're more than welcome to continue to do so).
    I could dream to wide extremes, I could do or die: I could yawn and be withdrawn and watch the world go by.

    Yup you are officially Rock n Roll
    Originally posted by colinw
    • phryne
    • By phryne 21st Sep 18, 12:12 PM
    • 165 Posts
    • 228 Thanks
    phryne
    UPDATE ON THE POST.I THINK everyone under estimates how much I LOVE MY DOG. I got her at 12 weeks old, I donít have ANY FAMILY in this country, she is my best friend, I went part time for her, so I could be with her during the day. she comes first and always will. She sleeps in my bed (sheís only 2.5 kilos so is a tiny thing ) I donít have a social life and before i am judged. I dont want one lol. Ok so leaving her made me consider deferring or giving up my uni place. so I went and spoke to the well-being officer and guess what... I can bring her along with me. They apparently said itís no problem, they they are a dog friendly campus and they will speak with the caretaker as he has a little dog, so I can buy her a comfy safe crate, pop her in it and get her on breaks and lunch.
    I am elated !!! So for all those who are doubtful, sometimes all you need to do is make a plan, live in hope and the worst thing that could happen is get refused. But I had nothing to lose and everything to gain.
    After uni I am an osteopath, I can choose my working hours, and I will make it suit Blue. I maybe even open up a clinic from home, who knows ? But she comes first. And Red-squirrel osteopathy is not a pseudoscience.. we are not clairvoyants we are therapists that believe in all treatments apart from drugs... surely that should be the way we practice as a society
    Originally posted by Smb3088
    That IS good news

    Some people are very negative by nature and see only the problems (real or imagined). Try not to let them get to you.

    Well done to you.
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