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    • jools1985
    • By jools1985 30th Aug 18, 11:12 PM
    • 126Posts
    • 264Thanks
    jools1985
    Never too old to learn
    • #1
    • 30th Aug 18, 11:12 PM
    Never too old to learn 30th Aug 18 at 11:12 PM
    You know when you wish you could turn back the clock and not be so stupid? Well that's how I'm feeling right now.


    I have around 56,000 in unsecured debt which is truly shameful. It's all on credit cards and it built up purely by my own stupidity. I had a gambling addiction which I am so ashamed of and ran up many thousands of pounds of debt to feed my addiction. My last bet was almost 9 months ago and I really feel that with the help of Gamblers Anonymous I've kicked the habit this time. The only person who knows about this (other than people who may read this diary) is my lovely partner (we don't live together but I am waaay to old to have a boyfriend ) who I confided in last December. His support has been amazing, he could have walked away from me but he didn't.



    The debt is not all down to gambling I've also been too free and easy in booking holidays and going out with friends.



    I have a very significant birthday coming up frighteningly soon, when I'll be 60 and I hope to retire in 6 years time when I'll pick up my state pension.



    I've well and truly had my LBM and phoned Stepchange this morning. As everyone on here says it does feel like a weight has lifted from me but at the same time I feel really quite sick with the worry of the next few months and dealing with creditors.



    The lady on the phone said I should ring all the creditors and tell them I'm dealing with Stepchange. Well I'm too much of a scaredy cat to do that so I've written to them instead. Letters to post tomorrow. I have actually written to them all in longhand - using my very best writing, tongue just sticking out of the side of my mouth in concentration. I don't have access to a printer other than at work, and I'd be mortified if anyone I work with saw anything on a printer - they are notorious for jamming and I was catastrophising about the letter being caught up and seen by someone else.


    My debt free date should be in 5 years and 11 months time - eek 1 month before retirement, talk about cutting it fine. In reality I'm hoping it will be way before then as my mortgage only has 22 months (and payments) to run. When that is repaid I'll have an extra 768 a month to save or pay off my debts.



    So here goes day 1 of my new more sensible and hopefully calm life - at least once I've got over the hurdle of the DMP being set up and dealing with the creditors. A diary seems like a good way to keep me focused on the task in hand.



    Sorry about the long ramble
Page 2
    • Willing2Learn
    • By Willing2Learn 13th Sep 18, 2:44 PM
    • 1,442 Posts
    • 1,097 Thanks
    Willing2Learn
    My monthly email from the MSE credit club was waiting for me when I woke up this morning. My actual credit score has improved. Of course it doesn't show any missed payments yet. It's made me feel a bit flat as it has been improving in recent months. I'm expecting it to do a sharp nosedive after this month. I know in the grand scheme of things it doesn't matter, bt still...........
    Originally posted by jools1985
    There were other letters advising about returned direct debits and inviting me to set up new ones.

    The worst one was from RBS also acknowledging my breathing space letter and advising me they would not suspend interest but would not charge any late fees before 7/10/18. I was hoping they'd suspend the interest but it seems it is not to be. I've had that account since 7/7/97 (it said so on the letter) This is the month I've ever missed a payment. Never even been late before. It's made me feel quite sad.....
    Originally posted by jools1985
    Of course, you could look at this from the opposite perspective and view the progress you have made with pride.

    I mean, you have addressed and continue to address your gambling.
    You are in the process of setting up your DMP. Which is essentially a gentleman's agreement, to honour your debts. You are, after all, only amending your original contractual terms to one that is affordable, given your circumstances. That has to be something to feel good about
    I work within the voluntary sector, supporting vulnerable people to rebuild their lives.

    I love my job

    • jools1985
    • By jools1985 13th Sep 18, 4:35 PM
    • 126 Posts
    • 264 Thanks
    jools1985
    Thank you so much W2L. Your kind words of encouragement made me cry, but yes you are right. It is all progress made and progress which will continue
    • jools1985
    • By jools1985 14th Sep 18, 3:15 PM
    • 126 Posts
    • 264 Thanks
    jools1985
    Today's activity in my quest to become debt free - sent a letter to RBS for a copy of my credit agreement. The date of agreement is 7/7/97. Let's see what comes back.



    Again I wrote the letter out by hand - it feels so old school now and popping a postal order in with the letter is even older than old school
    • jools1985
    • By jools1985 15th Sep 18, 7:43 AM
    • 126 Posts
    • 264 Thanks
    jools1985
    Ho hum another Saturday and the 3rd out of the last 4 that I've working. I'm supposed to work just 1 in 8 Saturday's but we are short of cover so I'm doing it (again). I don't get overtime for it, just a day off during the week instead. I do get a Saturday premium payment of around 20 though, so I'll have an extra 60 pay at the end of the month - it all helps.
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