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    • MSE Sarah
    • By MSE Sarah 28th Aug 18, 12:40 PM
    • 144Posts
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    MSE Sarah
    Money Moral Dilemma: Should my friend pay his daughter to do the ironing?
    • #1
    • 28th Aug 18, 12:40 PM
    Money Moral Dilemma: Should my friend pay his daughter to do the ironing? 28th Aug 18 at 12:40 PM
    This week's MoneySaver who wants advice asks...

    My friend has recently been widowed - before this tragedy he paid someone £15/hour to do the ironing. He's suggested his daughter do it now instead. She has three kids and doesn't work, and she's asked for the same amount.

    Unfortunately the MSE team can't always answer money moral dilemma questions as contributions are often emailed in or suggested in person. They are intended to be enjoyed as a point of debate and discussed at face value.

    If you havenít already, join the forum to reply.

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Page 2
    • charlotte1994
    • By charlotte1994 29th Aug 18, 11:56 AM
    • 4 Posts
    • 2 Thanks
    charlotte1994
    I agree with the daughter, he has been paying someone to do it, why should she do it for free? Children are not slaves. I would say the gentleman 1) don't bother with ironing, I hardly iron as I hang clothes up straight out of the wash and drip dry. Most of the time they do not need ironing at all, creases drop out. I think I've ironed about 3 times in all my life.

    2) Either continue to pay the person to do the ironing, or pay the daughter.

    I would help out my parents, but if they were just asking me to get something from free, which they used to pay for, then I would demand payment. He hasn't had an issue paying in the past. Plus, she has 3 teens! She has enough of her own housework to do
    • Thomasmummy
    • By Thomasmummy 29th Aug 18, 2:21 PM
    • 2 Posts
    • 5 Thanks
    Thomasmummy
    I clean for my elderly once a week and he pays me to do it. I am also a single mother with three children and I am self employed. I wouldn't ask dad for money and I never ask for a specific amount but the reality is I wouldn't be able to go in as much if he didn't. He doesn't pay me the 'going' rate just enough to cover my fuel and I buy his cleaning products out of it too...I certainly don't do it for the money i do it because he's my dad.

    In terms of a moral dilemma hmmm i don't think the daughter can ask for money....but I don't think the father can expect her to do it for free either...more so if she had a job to work around as well as the children. Personally I dont believe in ironing....I do careful folding unless it's a special occasion and I'd have my dad checked for dementia if he asked me to iron his clothes. In my own situation cleaning is something essential and dad would have to pay someone if I didn't go in....is ironing really essential???
    • tgroom57
    • By tgroom57 29th Aug 18, 5:31 PM
    • 1,311 Posts
    • 12,676 Thanks
    tgroom57
    This isn't quite the same as the question previously posted (with link, about post 4)
    In the original question he paid £15 a time, not per hour.
    Also, because there was less of it now, he suggested to his only daughter that she could do the ironing instead of paying someone to do it.

    A trouser press should solve most of his problem.

    That said, he should find a more amicable reason for his daughter to pop in once a week, in case he should need a button sewn on or advice on how to set up a wool wash on the washing machine, for example.
    Last edited by tgroom57; 29-08-2018 at 5:35 PM.

    • BaldacchinoR
    • By BaldacchinoR 29th Aug 18, 5:55 PM
    • 130 Posts
    • 55 Thanks
    BaldacchinoR
    Paying daughter to do the ironing
    I am nearly 70 and have problems with my limbs including standing even for a few minutes, never mind ironing for an hour or more. I don't iron because I don't need to. Any washed wrinkled clothing, mostly polo tops and jeans, go into the tumble dryer for about 40 minutes which gets rid of most wrinkles and where there a few slight ones they disappear with your body heat. But to address the issue, there is a dilemma which is entirely down to the parties involved. I don't think there is anything wrong either way. Its nice if children repay their parents by doing work free for all the parents have done for them. Lots of parents are happy to help their children in different ways e.g. help buying a house so why mot pay them to do jobs around the house? I pay my daughter for cleaning the house because apart from rewarding her for her time and effort, I know I can trust her so there are no worries about possible theft. So why pay an outsider when you can reward your family instead?
    • Saintsman594
    • By Saintsman594 29th Aug 18, 7:29 PM
    • 1 Posts
    • 2 Thanks
    Saintsman594
    My daughter wanted paying to cut my hair.

    I said okay, but whenever you want me to do anything for you, I will require paying too.

    She cuts my hair for free...
    • happyinflorida
    • By happyinflorida 29th Aug 18, 10:15 PM
    • 714 Posts
    • 599 Thanks
    happyinflorida
    I'd like to know why Mr tighta--e is asking this question?


    It's his daughter, he's previously paid someone else £15 per hour to iron so why not pay his daughter the same?


    Can she iron well? Is she going to do a good job?


    If yes, pay it.


    She needs the money if she's unemployed as benefits are so low, especially if she's got 3 kids, she needs every bit of help.

    I know you used to be able to earn up to £16 pw whilst getting benefits, I think, so if that's still correct, she won't get into trouble either, just in case some person decides to shop her in - if that isn't correct and people cannot claim benefits and earn £15 pw, then don't tell anyone you are paying her - including family members as she could end up with a criminal record if caught.
    • st999
    • By st999 30th Aug 18, 4:29 PM
    • 1,199 Posts
    • 661 Thanks
    st999
    Why can't the friend read the replies already received in the thread in the link about exactly the same question?
    Because I never knew that this was going to be a Money Moral Dilemma.

    I never asked MSE to do this.

    MSE have stolen my post and turned it into a Money Moral Dilemma.

    To clarify the original post, my friend's wife was too ill to do it herself and he was too lazy to do the ironing which is why he paid someone to do it.

    His wife wanted the clothes ironed.

    After his wife passed away he washed his own clothes but never ironed them and his daughter was moaning to him about that.

    He said if you are not happy about my creased clothes and bed sheets then you iron them, that's when she said she would do it for what he paid someone.

    His clothes and bedding are still not getting ironed.
    • Red-Squirrel
    • By Red-Squirrel 30th Aug 18, 7:50 PM
    • 3,266 Posts
    • 8,775 Thanks
    Red-Squirrel

    To clarify the original post, my friend's wife was too ill to do it herself and he was too lazy to do the ironing which is why he paid someone to do it.

    His wife wanted the clothes ironed.

    After his wife passed away he washed his own clothes but never ironed them and his daughter was moaning to him about that.

    He said if you are not happy about my creased clothes and bed sheets then you iron them, that's when she said she would do it for what he paid someone.

    His clothes and bedding are still not getting ironed.
    Originally posted by st999

    That's so different to your original post on the first thread as to almost be a completely different situation!

    This is what you wrote the first time:

    "A friend of mine has been recently widowed and prior to this he and his wife were paying someone to do the ironing, I think it was £15 a time.

    Now that he is on his own there is of course less ironing to do and he suggested to his only daughter that she could do the ironing instead of paying someone to do it.

    She is married with 3 teenage children and doesn't work.

    She replied with "OK I will do it for what you were paying ironing lady, it will give me some extra spending money"

    He, of course, thinks she should do it for nothing."
    Last edited by Red-Squirrel; 30-08-2018 at 7:52 PM.
    • crmism
    • By crmism 30th Aug 18, 8:28 PM
    • 120 Posts
    • 66 Thanks
    crmism
    Ironing
    I wonder what prevents your friend from doing the ironing himself. There's really nothing difficult to it, and it's quite therapeutic. All he will need is an electric iron, an ironing board, an electric supply and a spare cotton sheet which he'll need to dampen when dealing with more sensitive clothing, such as ironing the creases in trousers.

    £15 per hour is a fair price to pay, regardless of who did the ironing before, and his daughter definitely shouldn't offer to do it for nothing.
    • st999
    • By st999 31st Aug 18, 12:18 PM
    • 1,199 Posts
    • 661 Thanks
    st999
    "A friend of mine has been recently widowed and prior to this he and his wife were paying someone to do the ironing, I think it was £15 a time.

    Now that he is on his own there is of course less ironing to do and he suggested to his only daughter that she could do the ironing instead of paying someone to do it.

    She is married with 3 teenage children and doesn't work.

    She replied with "OK I will do it for what you were paying ironing lady, it will give me some extra spending money"

    He, of course, thinks she should do it for nothing."
    That was the short version.

    I wonder what prevents your friend from doing the ironing himself.
    Because he is old and can't be bothered.
    • wondermouse
    • By wondermouse 2nd Sep 18, 12:43 AM
    • 63 Posts
    • 86 Thanks
    wondermouse
    My wife pays my son (16) to do the ironing.

    He earns his pocket money, she avoids a chore. Win all round. He also now has a skill he can use at college or uni.
    • threeshoes
    • By threeshoes 2nd Sep 18, 7:54 AM
    • 2 Posts
    • 0 Thanks
    threeshoes
    Of course
    His daughter will be a busy lady, and could probably do with the cash. But why not do it himself?
    • Red-Squirrel
    • By Red-Squirrel 2nd Sep 18, 8:38 AM
    • 3,266 Posts
    • 8,775 Thanks
    Red-Squirrel
    That was the short version.
    Originally posted by st999
    Also known as the totally different version!
    • Sunny Intervals
    • By Sunny Intervals 2nd Sep 18, 1:48 PM
    • 206 Posts
    • 650 Thanks
    Sunny Intervals
    Also known as the totally different version!
    Originally posted by Red-Squirrel

    As well as presenting a completely different version which would have received very different replies, they're also pretty much the same length, so it isn't the "short version" either.
    • Tealblue
    • By Tealblue 3rd Sep 18, 12:53 AM
    • 774 Posts
    • 1,107 Thanks
    Tealblue
    Who cares?
    • DrivingMissDaisy
    • By DrivingMissDaisy 3rd Sep 18, 7:19 AM
    • 52 Posts
    • 34 Thanks
    DrivingMissDaisy
    Start off at £7.50 an hour for 3 months, if happy then increase it to £8.50
    • Ebenezer_Screwj
    • By Ebenezer_Screwj 14th Sep 18, 3:55 PM
    • 419 Posts
    • 229 Thanks
    Ebenezer_Screwj
    Why don't you ask your friend what she thinks? Or keep out of it. Not your problem.
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