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    • BSW89
    • By BSW89 11th Aug 18, 6:56 PM
    • 28 Posts
    • 11 Thanks
    BSW89
    The thing is if you take a look at any of threads on this board you will find that its not very often that every single poster agrees with the OP or indeed eachother.Thats what an open forum is,a medium for debate on several levels if needed.

    Some posters are very detailed with their answers and other its just a short sharp statement in reply,it makes neither of them less valid but the short sharp ones can at times come across as less caring.
    Some people like to relate their personal experiences whilst for others its just post the reply and move on.
    Neither type of post is best its just what suits some doesn't always suit all.

    Its also very difficult sometimes for particularly a new user to post all the relevant facts in a few lines within an opening post so inevitably the first few replies may not always hit the spot of what the OP was hoping to get as an answer,and sometimes the full facts don't become clear until several pages in.

    OP if you are still reading this,read it all even the bad,dont take it to heart everyone has different ways of conveying a message and its not always in the format you want but on the whole its never personal,so please don't take it as such.
    If you really feel that someone has overstepped the mark with a reply then there is a report button you can use to alert the forum team who will adjudicate the post and modify if necessary.

    Its sometimes hard for anyone to put down in words what seems so much easier to say face to face and even regional variations or terms that maybe someone uses as standard in the north of the country can be interpreted by a southerner differently.You'll also get different people focusing in on different areas of the question,sometimes that leads to an answer but sometimes it takes things in a different direction.As the OP you have to make a judgement over what is relevant to you and your situation and discard comments that don't fit.

    Its also very difficult to know how to approach an answer when ultimately you have no idea who you are actually replying to,both in terms of being the OP or the person replying. even the most seasoned posters on this thread probably know little or nothing about eachother,other than what they read here.

    (We may often say oh so and so is knowledgeable or respected but the truth is none of us have anything to really base that on other than what that person writes and we read)

    Just remember if the whole world answered the question in the way you wanted it wouldn't be the pace it is, colourful vibrant and with emotion.

    If you were to ask 100 people the same question requiring a simple answer its unlikely that you will ever get 100 identical answers.
    Originally posted by need an answer
    Absolutely agree everyone has different opinions and ways of communicating, and to some extent that's the strength of a forum. You are right to remind us that people do have different communication styles and things shouldn't be taken personally. Many of the replies here were helpful and well-intentioned, but a few comments - I felt - were uncalled for, e.g. one user asking what appeared to be rhetorical questions about why the OP couldn't google the answer and why they needed specific advice because they were elderly.
    • Doozergirl
    • By Doozergirl 12th Aug 18, 12:49 AM
    • 25,575 Posts
    • 69,403 Thanks
    Doozergirl
    The thing is if you take a look at any of threads on this board you will find that its not very often that every single poster agrees with the OP or indeed eachother.Thats what an open forum is,a medium for debate on several levels if needed.

    Some posters are very detailed with their answers and other its just a short sharp statement in reply,it makes neither of them less valid but the short sharp ones can at times come across as less caring.
    Some people like to relate their personal experiences whilst for others its just post the reply and move on.
    Neither type of post is best its just what suits some doesn't always suit all.

    Its also very difficult sometimes for particularly a new user to post all the relevant facts in a few lines within an opening post so inevitably the first few replies may not always hit the spot of what the OP was hoping to get as an answer,and sometimes the full facts don't become clear until several pages in.

    OP if you are still reading this,read it all even the bad,dont take it to heart everyone has different ways of conveying a message and its not always in the format you want but on the whole its never personal,so please don't take it as such.
    If you really feel that someone has overstepped the mark with a reply then there is a report button you can use to alert the forum team who will adjudicate the post and modify if necessary.

    Its sometimes hard for anyone to put down in words what seems so much easier to say face to face and even regional variations or terms that maybe someone uses as standard in the north of the country can be interpreted by a southerner differently.You'll also get different people focusing in on different areas of the question,sometimes that leads to an answer but sometimes it takes things in a different direction.As the OP you have to make a judgement over what is relevant to you and your situation and discard comments that don't fit.

    Its also very difficult to know how to approach an answer when ultimately you have no idea who you are actually replying to,both in terms of being the OP or the person replying. even the most seasoned posters on this thread probably know little or nothing about eachother,other than what they read here.

    (We may often say oh so and so is knowledgeable or respected but the truth is none of us have anything to really base that on other than what that person writes and we read)

    Just remember if the whole world answered the question in the way you wanted it wouldn't be the pace it is, colourful vibrant and with emotion.

    If you were to ask 100 people the same question requiring a simple answer its unlikely that you will ever get 100 identical answers.
    Originally posted by need an answer
    A well considered and beautifully worded reply.

    Out in the real world with faces, expression and body language it's much easier to tailor the way one addresses people. Here, there's nothing to go on. Only 5% of communication is made of words (anyone else done a customer service/management training course?!) and much of the time you're not even blessed with a reply. This week, there's always a troll of some description. All one can really do is relay information and ask questions in a pretty straightforward manner until you pick up social cues. Any rapport (for want of a better word, perhaps) builds a few posts in. Today, in this thread, someone explains how they feel right at the end and there's no chance to react, particularly. But the honesty is very sweet.

    If faced with a choice of being right or being nice, one should pick being nice. Online, it's very hard to be anything very quickly, but 'why' is the worst word to start a question with and there's simply no need to ask people why they're asking a question - if they don't know, they don't know. They're here for the right reason.

    I do remember this board when it didn't have the same name and hadn't been subdivided and we sang virtual songs, giggled with each other and wrote page after page about Property Ladder each week. That was lovely fun and I have one of my best friends and some other genuine friends from this board of old. The offer of erm, pictures, from some posters, not so much. I wonder who would even guess what I look like after all this time; would people expect me to have blue hair like my avatar? I suspect I come across like Anne Hegarty!

    OP, I hope you come and take a look around the boards and find a community, because there are little ones dotted all over the place still, I think!
    Last edited by Doozergirl; 12-08-2018 at 12:56 AM.
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