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    • theguru
    • By theguru 8th Aug 18, 9:07 PM
    • 629Posts
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    theguru
    Phone given to a six year old?
    • #1
    • 8th Aug 18, 9:07 PM
    Phone given to a six year old? 8th Aug 18 at 9:07 PM
    Hi looking for some advice, my six year old (seven next week) has been given a IPhone (no sim) by her mother. I clearly disagree with this and always said she should not get one until she moves into senior school.

    Her mother and me are divorced and do not get on but I totally disagree with this, should I send her mother a message saying my thoughts against this, guarantee it will cause more arguments and probably upset my daughter as well if she gets it taken away.

    What would you do?
Page 5
    • onlyroz
    • By onlyroz 12th Aug 18, 8:41 PM
    • 14,291 Posts
    • 27,302 Thanks
    onlyroz
    I mean when I was a kid, many moons ago, kids had to actually interact with each other. Social skills were learned

    Nowadays, they just press buttons..and get ''achievements''
    Originally posted by ska lover
    On the other hand many older folk are hopelessly lost around technology, struggling with everything from the microwave to a cash machine, to dealing with online applications.

    If you want to survive in a digital world then digital skills need to be learned. Responsible use of devices is a big part of that.
    • meer53
    • By meer53 12th Aug 18, 9:47 PM
    • 9,247 Posts
    • 13,424 Thanks
    meer53
    I mean when I was a kid, many moons ago, kids had to actually interact with each other. Social skills were learned

    Nowadays, they just press buttons..and get ''achievements''
    Originally posted by ska lover
    No they don't. They still go to school, meet and play with their friends, visit family, go shopping, eat out, go on holidays, using technology is part of their lives these days, like it or not.
    • glentoran99
    • By glentoran99 13th Aug 18, 8:31 AM
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    glentoran99
    I don't see the issue its not a phone. Without the SIM its an ipod/tablet.

    My son had a second hand ipod when he was young (can't remember the exact age). Reason being I didn't want his apps on my phone. There were rules it was set up under my account and passworded so I had to download all apps, he was only allowed educational games and the ipod was not allowed upstairs (he is now 11 and has his own phone but the rules still apply the phone is not allowed in his bedroom and I still have to put in a password for new apps).

    Having his own had it benefits, when were out he couldn't just 'borrow' my phone and play on it like you see some children as his ipod never left the house.

    Whether we like it or not children will start to use technology earlier (they have ipads at schools in reception). I don't see the difference if they are using parents tablets or their own, its the time they are allowed to spend on them thats important not who they belong to.
    Originally posted by iammumtoone


    slight aside but you can set it up so he can enter his own password but you just get a notification on your own phone to approve,
    • Hillwalker11
    • By Hillwalker11 14th Aug 18, 10:49 AM
    • 19 Posts
    • 72 Thanks
    Hillwalker11
    As a retired teacher can I just say that over the last 4 years children entering Reception are very different to those who entered 10 years ago. As they use screen time everything is instant, so listening to a story where they have to use their own imagination to picture the stories is almost impossible. Books lose their allure, we had children trying to swipe across the page as this was all they knew. A lot is how these devices are used at home, but unfortunately a lot are abused. The parent picking the child up, on their phone, too busy texting to listen or sometimes even looking at their child. On a school trip parental phones had to be left at home because of constant use during the day.
    The social skills and speech patterns are dubbed down and take a long time to correct to age appropriate. Dining skills are virtually non existent as when out the children are given tablets at restaurant tables and mum and dad are on their phones.
    Obviously this is not every child that starts school, technology can be useful if used with the correct parental back up but so often it is not. A rounded education at home and at school should include a little bit of everything, including technology, but also including books, outdoor activities, baking, colouring and just having time to be. This last one is so overlooked, down time is just as important as all the other exciting things the world has to offer.
    • pickledonionspaceraider
    • By pickledonionspaceraider 14th Aug 18, 2:05 PM
    • 1,168 Posts
    • 3,201 Thanks
    pickledonionspaceraider
    As a retired teacher can I just say that over the last 4 years children entering Reception are very different to those who entered 10 years ago. As they use screen time everything is instant, so listening to a story where they have to use their own imagination to picture the stories is almost impossible. Books lose their allure, we had children trying to swipe across the page as this was all they knew. A lot is how these devices are used at home, but unfortunately a lot are abused. The parent picking the child up, on their phone, too busy texting to listen or sometimes even looking at their child. On a school trip parental phones had to be left at home because of constant use during the day.
    The social skills and speech patterns are dubbed down and take a long time to correct to age appropriate. Dining skills are virtually non existent as when out the children are given tablets at restaurant tables and mum and dad are on their phones.
    Obviously this is not every child that starts school, technology can be useful if used with the correct parental back up but so often it is not. A rounded education at home and at school should include a little bit of everything, including technology, but also including books, outdoor activities, baking, colouring and just having time to be. This last one is so overlooked, down time is just as important as all the other exciting things the world has to offer.
    Originally posted by Hillwalker11
    What a fantastic post.
    You only live once...so make sure you spend 15 hours on the internet every day desperately seeking validation from strangers
    • fibonarchie
    • By fibonarchie 14th Aug 18, 2:47 PM
    • 773 Posts
    • 1,317 Thanks
    fibonarchie
    we had children trying to swipe across the page as this was all they knew.
    Originally posted by Hillwalker11
    I have actually heard about toddlers trying to enlarge a biscuit by making that finger and thumb action that they evidently use on mummy's smartphone to make images bigger.
    When England was a Kingdom we had a King, when we were an empire we had an emperor. Now we're a country and we have Margaret Thatcher

    the late great Kenny Everett
    • glentoran99
    • By glentoran99 16th Aug 18, 12:46 PM
    • 5,476 Posts
    • 4,659 Thanks
    glentoran99
    As a retired teacher can I just say that over the last 4 years children entering Reception are very different to those who entered 10 years ago. As they use screen time everything is instant, so listening to a story where they have to use their own imagination to picture the stories is almost impossible. Books lose their allure, we had children trying to swipe across the page as this was all they knew. A lot is how these devices are used at home, but unfortunately a lot are abused. The parent picking the child up, on their phone, too busy texting to listen or sometimes even looking at their child. On a school trip parental phones had to be left at home because of constant use during the day.
    The social skills and speech patterns are dubbed down and take a long time to correct to age appropriate. Dining skills are virtually non existent as when out the children are given tablets at restaurant tables and mum and dad are on their phones.
    Obviously this is not every child that starts school, technology can be useful if used with the correct parental back up but so often it is not. A rounded education at home and at school should include a little bit of everything, including technology, but also including books, outdoor activities, baking, colouring and just having time to be. This last one is so overlooked, down time is just as important as all the other exciting things the world has to offer.
    Originally posted by Hillwalker11


    I find most of that post very strange,


    My children have quite a lot of screen time, more than probably they should but they haven't experiences any of the above


    My children both love books and reading, my eldest is going into P2 in the top reading group, My youngest is starting nursery able to read some words, recognise her names and colours. Count past 20 and do some simple math.


    My children have both learnt problem solving, nursery rhymes and songs from tablets, some of which I didn't even know, They also do have dining skills and we go out regularly, they also eat at the table at home with no tablets,


    Its not the devices are the problem
    • Mojisola
    • By Mojisola 16th Aug 18, 1:17 PM
    • 29,620 Posts
    • 75,728 Thanks
    Mojisola
    Its not the devices are the problem
    Originally posted by glentoran99
    I agree with this - the parents who stick their kids in front of a phone or tablet without any other stimulation/interaction are the ones who used to use the television as a baby-sitter and the ones, pre TVs, who turned their kids out onto the streets in the morning and told them not to come home until dark and the ones who, in Victorian times, dosed the kids with Laudanum to keep them quiet and compliant.

    Bad parenting has always existed - the way it's expressed just varies depending on the tools available.
    • Mojisola
    • By Mojisola 16th Aug 18, 1:19 PM
    • 29,620 Posts
    • 75,728 Thanks
    Mojisola
    I have actually heard about toddlers trying to enlarge a biscuit by making that finger and thumb action that they evidently use on mummy's smartphone to make images bigger.
    Originally posted by fibonarchie
    This is a child experimenting to see if a skill is transferable from one situation to another - they do it with everything they learn.
    • marliepanda
    • By marliepanda 16th Aug 18, 1:35 PM
    • 6,316 Posts
    • 13,448 Thanks
    marliepanda
    I find most of that post very strange,


    My children have quite a lot of screen time, more than probably they should but they haven't experiences any of the above


    My children both love books and reading, my eldest is going into P2 in the top reading group, My youngest is starting nursery able to read some words, recognise her names and colours. Count past 20 and do some simple math.

    My children have both learnt problem solving, nursery rhymes and songs from tablets, some of which I didn't even know, They also do have dining skills and we go out regularly, they also eat at the table at home with no tablets,


    Its not the devices are the problem
    Originally posted by glentoran99
    Its almost as if you didn't read the last paragraph... A lot of what your children is doing is normal, counting is common as songs are prevalent, but a lot of it is rote counting without any realisation as to what 'one' or 'two' is, rather a rote 'onetwothreefourfive' I am not belittling anything but what your children appear to be doing is fairly expected.

    Many parents use tablets as substitute parents. They put a programme on to put a child to bed, to keep them quiet in the car, to keep them quiet when a friend comes over etc. Children should not be learning anything from a tablet alone, it should be used to enhance learning. Alongside physical books, outdoor trips, being read to by parents, singing songs with human beings, tablets are fine, but when its the only stimulus a child has (and that is the case for many) its simply not good enough. No one is saying it will make children less advanced than their peers, but it will not do. Full stop...
    • meer53
    • By meer53 16th Aug 18, 1:51 PM
    • 9,247 Posts
    • 13,424 Thanks
    meer53
    Its not the devices are the problem

    This ^^

    There have always been "devices" to help children learn. There always will be, the majority of parents don't sit their kids in front of a tablet/tv. As all children go to school it will never be the only stimulus a child has as far as education goes.
    • NeilCr
    • By NeilCr 16th Aug 18, 4:21 PM
    • 2,077 Posts
    • 2,753 Thanks
    NeilCr

    Many parents use tablets as substitute parents. ...
    Originally posted by marliepanda
    Do you have a source for this assertion?
    • Kynthia
    • By Kynthia 16th Aug 18, 5:28 PM
    • 5,214 Posts
    • 7,286 Thanks
    Kynthia
    I have actually heard about toddlers trying to enlarge a biscuit by making that finger and thumb action that they evidently use on mummy's smartphone to make images bigger.
    Originally posted by fibonarchie
    Could be daddy's phone or the family tablet??? You make so many digs at mum's on this thread and mums in the housewives thread it makes me wonder whether it's mums rather than phones for 6 year olds you really have an issue with. Why can't people parent differently, whether it's using technology, working, or any other choices, and others just accept that it's a valid choices and we're all trying to do the best we can for our families?
    Last edited by Kynthia; 16-08-2018 at 6:02 PM.
    Don't listen to me, I'm no expert!
    • marliepanda
    • By marliepanda 16th Aug 18, 7:34 PM
    • 6,316 Posts
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    marliepanda
    Do you have a source for this assertion?
    Originally posted by NeilCr
    Experience of myself and my colleagues and friends who teach in other schools, both in affluent areas and deprived areas.

    Sorry are opinions banned now?
    • NeilCr
    • By NeilCr 16th Aug 18, 8:31 PM
    • 2,077 Posts
    • 2,753 Thanks
    NeilCr
    Experience of myself and my colleagues and friends who teach in other schools, both in affluent areas and deprived areas.

    Sorry are opinions banned now?
    Originally posted by marliepanda
    Not at all. Just interested in where you got this view from. Did, I, in any way suggest that you couldn't have an opinion?

    My experience with friends, relatives of my partner and teachers is the opposite.

    There are, certainly, a few parents who act that way but the majority do not. Interestingly, we live in a non affluent area.
    • glentoran99
    • By glentoran99 17th Aug 18, 7:23 AM
    • 5,476 Posts
    • 4,659 Thanks
    glentoran99
    Its almost as if you didn't read the last paragraph... A lot of what your children is doing is normal, counting is common as songs are prevalent, but a lot of it is rote counting without any realisation as to what 'one' or 'two' is, rather a rote 'onetwothreefourfive' I am not belittling anything but what your children appear to be doing is fairly expected.

    Many parents use tablets as substitute parents. They put a programme on to put a child to bed, to keep them quiet in the car, to keep them quiet when a friend comes over etc. Children should not be learning anything from a tablet alone, it should be used to enhance learning. Alongside physical books, outdoor trips, being read to by parents, singing songs with human beings, tablets are fine, but when its the only stimulus a child has (and that is the case for many) its simply not good enough. No one is saying it will make children less advanced than their peers, but it will not do. Full stop...
    Originally posted by marliepanda


    Its not, they certainly know what 1 2 3 4 5 is, As I said they are fairly advanced for their age and the youngest starting nursery is more advanced than what is expected as was the eldest, the teacher has concerns they will be bored while waiting for others to catchup.


    And yes that's what I am saying they are used to enhance learning, they aren't the tools of the devil that turn children into zombies who dont know how to deal with the real world that some are making out
    • davidwood681
    • By davidwood681 17th Aug 18, 11:55 AM
    • 478 Posts
    • 1,435 Thanks
    davidwood681
    Anyone who gives a phone to a 6 year old should hang their heads in shame.

    We are currently suffering for a serious social problem due to phone addiction that will only get worse over time.

    Some adults can't go out for a meal and leave their phones switched off. It's pathetic

    Watch this ( especially around the 1 minute mark )

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sL8AsaEJDdo

    We have created a generation who are unable to live in the real world
    Last edited by davidwood681; Yesterday at 11:58 AM.
    • NeilCr
    • By NeilCr 17th Aug 18, 12:19 PM
    • 2,077 Posts
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    NeilCr

    Some adults can't go out for a meal and leave their phones switched off. It's pathetic
    Originally posted by davidwood681
    I don't know anyone who switches their phone off when out for a meal. Many have good reasons to be contactable.

    Equally, no-one in our circle will use their mobile while in company unless it is necessary.
    • davidwood681
    • By davidwood681 17th Aug 18, 12:25 PM
    • 478 Posts
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    davidwood681
    I don't know anyone who switches their phone off when out for a meal. Many have good reasons to be contactable.

    Equally, no-one in our circle will use their mobile while in company unless it is necessary.
    Originally posted by NeilCr
    How many of them can have a meal and leave their phones in their pocket or bag......and I mean not touch it for the whole meal?

    If they can I presume thy're of an age similar to me but we have generations now that HAVE to be on their phone.
    • NeilCr
    • By NeilCr 17th Aug 18, 12:28 PM
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    NeilCr
    How many of them can have a meal and leave their phones in their pocket or bag......and I mean not touch it for the whole meal?

    If they can I presume thy're of an age similar to me but we have generations now that HAVE to be on their phone.
    Originally posted by davidwood681
    All of them - unless they get an important call.

    Age group early 40s to 70s - with one 82 year old.

    I have one friend who is social media addicted - but we've knocked it out of him at meal times.
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