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    • theguru
    • By theguru 8th Aug 18, 9:07 PM
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    theguru
    Phone given to a six year old?
    • #1
    • 8th Aug 18, 9:07 PM
    Phone given to a six year old? 8th Aug 18 at 9:07 PM
    Hi looking for some advice, my six year old (seven next week) has been given a IPhone (no sim) by her mother. I clearly disagree with this and always said she should not get one until she moves into senior school.

    Her mother and me are divorced and do not get on but I totally disagree with this, should I send her mother a message saying my thoughts against this, guarantee it will cause more arguments and probably upset my daughter as well if she gets it taken away.

    What would you do?
Page 4
    • fibonarchie
    • By fibonarchie 12th Aug 18, 1:43 PM
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    fibonarchie
    Who is "dumping their child in front of a screen" ? The majority of parents are responsible enough to limit their childs exposure to anything they feel isn't constructive or could possibly be harmful. But of course those parents are never in the press are they ?
    Originally posted by meer53
    Let's look at the evidence, shall we.

    Highest ever incidences of anxiety and mental illness among children
    Highest ever incidences of childhood obesity
    Ever-increasing levels of ADHD - unheard of until recent decades. (prolonged screen use decreases attention span and causes eye strain)


    Unsupervised use of the internet having a detrimental effect on children's health and wellbeing, and on society as a whole. Children who are given phones (usually by mums who themselves spend half their lives updating Facebook on theirs..) are going to be addicted to screens at a worryingly young age.

    (Don't think they're addicted? Try taking the phone/tablet away from them for a week or two and see what happens)

    No-one in their right mind gives an iPhone to a 6 year old child.. unless they've got ulterior motives (annoying the ex, who doesn't want the child to have one) and/or are absolutely clueless.
    Signature Removed by Forum Team ..thanks to somebody reporting a witty and decades-old Kenny Everett quote as 'offensive'!!
    • ska lover
    • By ska lover 12th Aug 18, 1:55 PM
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    ska lover
    Technology is a fact of life these days and delaying children's introduction to it holds back their development, acceptance and understanding of it.

    My nephew (age 8) does "coding club" at school. I'd have paid way, way more attention in primary school if we'd had something like that.
    Originally posted by onomatopoeia99
    Whilst yours is a valid point of view, if there had been coding club in my school - I would have ran a mile to smoke behind the bike sheds

    we are all very different beings.

    But having said that , a coding club =useful for learning, is different to having a personal smart phone as a young child - and the potential for access to that 24/7 too young imo for social media and all that brings

    However I do see your point. its a fine balance i guess of how to introduce such things.
    Last edited by ska lover; 12-08-2018 at 1:58 PM.
    The opposite of what you know...is also true
    • meer53
    • By meer53 12th Aug 18, 2:06 PM
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    meer53
    Highest ever incidences of anxiety and mental illness among children
    Highest ever incidences of childhood obesity
    Ever-increasing levels of ADHD - unheard of until recent decades. (prolonged screen use decreases attention span and causes eye strain)


    So all this is attributed to mobile phone use ? OK, if you say so then it must be true.
    • fibonarchie
    • By fibonarchie 12th Aug 18, 2:57 PM
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    fibonarchie
    Highest ever incidences of anxiety and mental illness among children
    Highest ever incidences of childhood obesity
    Ever-increasing levels of ADHD - unheard of until recent decades. (prolonged screen use decreases attention span and causes eye strain)


    So all this is attributed to mobile phone use ? OK, if you say so then it must be true.
    Originally posted by meer53
    Linked to screen use, yes. Do a bit of googling, there's loads of information out there. This is just one link. I could spend all day linking to various studies, but chances are you still wouldn't believe it. You know the old saying, there's none so deaf as those who don't want to hear.

    https://www.npr.org/sections/ed/2014/08/28/343735856/kids-and-screen-time-what-does-the-research-say?t=1534082102804
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    • Mojisola
    • By Mojisola 12th Aug 18, 3:00 PM
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    Mojisola
    Linked to screen use, yes. Do a bit of googling, there's loads of information out there. This is just one link. I could spend all day linking to various studies, but chances are you still wouldn't believe it. You know the old saying, there's none so deaf as those who don't want to hear.

    https://www.npr.org/sections/ed/2014/08/28/343735856/kids-and-screen-time-what-does-the-research-say?t=1534082102804
    Originally posted by fibonarchie
    Have you ever thought that could apply to you?

    Lots of things are dangerous or can lead to problems but not if we use them wisely.
    • fibonarchie
    • By fibonarchie 12th Aug 18, 3:15 PM
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    fibonarchie
    Have you ever thought that could apply to you?

    Lots of things are dangerous or can lead to problems but not if we use them wisely.
    Originally posted by Mojisola
    I'm not the one who insists that children as young as 6 should be given an iphone, despite common sense and damning evidence to the contrary!

    I honestly don't give a damn how people spend their free time, but I do think children often need to be protected from the stupidity of their parents, before it's too late.
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    • Mojisola
    • By Mojisola 12th Aug 18, 3:24 PM
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    Mojisola
    I'm not the one who insists that children as young as 6 should be given an iphone, despite common sense and damning evidence to the contrary!
    Originally posted by fibonarchie
    But there is no evidence that reasonably managed access to any specific electronic device will cause the things you are claiming.
    • NeilCr
    • By NeilCr 12th Aug 18, 3:25 PM
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    NeilCr
    UNICEF report.

    Interesting reading

    https://www.unicef-irc.org/publications/pdf/Children-digital-technology-wellbeing.pdf
    • macman
    • By macman 12th Aug 18, 3:56 PM
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    macman
    If you are concerned about her viewing inappropriate websites or using social meeja, then once she has worked out how to connect the phone to wi-fi, she'll be able to browse regardless of a missing SIM.
    All she can't do is phone or text.
    No free lunch, and no free laptop
    • iammumtoone
    • By iammumtoone 12th Aug 18, 4:09 PM
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    iammumtoone
    If you are concerned about her viewing inappropriate websites or using social meeja, then once she has worked out how to connect the phone to wi-fi, she'll be able to browse regardless of a missing SIM.
    All she can't do is phone or text.
    Originally posted by macman
    The child is 6. They will not be able to set up any social media accounts as won't have the knowledge or any email address to do this. They can access the web but what do you think a six year old is going to be googling!

    More danger of the things your are talking about when the child gets older and works out how to do these things for themselves/gets peer pressure into googling things they shouldn't. Even then with correct parenting and schooling (yes they learn about on-line safety at school) it is perfectly possible for older children to be safe on line.

    I don't understand it, there are stories in the news about what has happened to some children and somehow people then think this is the norm, its not, its rare. There are tragic stores on the news as well where people have been killed but no one believes everyone who leaves the house will be killed so why do they think all children will be lead down some path of no return because they were allowed to play a few childrens apps for a hour or so a day.
    • fibonarchie
    • By fibonarchie 12th Aug 18, 4:19 PM
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    fibonarchie
    The child is 6. They will not be able to set up any social media accounts as won't have the knowledge or any email address to do this. They can access the web but what do you think a six year old is going to be googling!
    Originally posted by iammumtoone
    Anything, if there isn't a firewall, (and anything if there is, as a friend or older sibling will get round the firewall in a matter of minutes.)
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    • iammumtoone
    • By iammumtoone 12th Aug 18, 4:20 PM
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    iammumtoone
    OP have you considered this might be better from your point of view.

    This way when your daughter visits she will bring her ipod with her, you can ask her to look at it and see for yourself what apps she has and keep and eye to make sure no SIM sneaks into it.

    If she is using her mothers phone/tablet you have no way of knowing what apps she is using at home and if they are age appropriate. This way you can check and speak to her mother if and when there is an problem like an unsuitable app installed. If you are going to say something much better to wait until there is actually an issue that needs resolving.
    Sealed pot challenge ~ 11 #017 - Open 1st Nov


    • onomatopoeia99
    • By onomatopoeia99 12th Aug 18, 4:33 PM
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    onomatopoeia99
    Anything, if there isn't a firewall, (and anything if there is, as a friend or older sibling will get round the firewall in a matter of minutes.)
    Originally posted by fibonarchie

    Not if it's set up by someone with a clue they won't.
    INTP, nerd, libertarian and scifi geek.
    Home is where my books are.
    • fibonarchie
    • By fibonarchie 12th Aug 18, 4:35 PM
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    fibonarchie
    Not if it's set up by someone with a clue they won't.
    Originally posted by onomatopoeia99
    digital natives will always be at an advantage over digital immigrants
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    • meer53
    • By meer53 12th Aug 18, 4:45 PM
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    meer53
    Linked to screen use, yes. Do a bit of googling, there's loads of information out there. This is just one link. I could spend all day linking to various studies, but chances are you still wouldn't believe it. You know the old saying, there's none so deaf as those who don't want to hear.

    https://www.npr.org/sections/ed/2014/08/28/343735856/kids-and-screen-time-what-does-the-research-say?t=1534082102804
    Originally posted by fibonarchie
    There's loads of information about everything a child may come across in life. I've never once worried about my children using electronic devices because i'm a responsible parent and would know if it was affecting them in any way. Normal parents don't just plonk their kids down with a phone or a tablet for hours a day, we all know they should be doing other things like playing out, taking exercise, spending time with their family etc

    I'm not stupid, i'm quite capable (as are the majority of parents) in reading reports and studies and making my own decisions about my own children. Just because a study says usage of electronic gadgets may cause issues if used incorrectly, it doesn't mean it will. Show me a study that proves it.

    You seem to be the one who doesn't want to hear any other viewpoint other than your own.
    • fibonarchie
    • By fibonarchie 12th Aug 18, 5:24 PM
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    fibonarchie
    There's loads of information about everything a child may come across in life. I've never once worried about my children using electronic devices because i'm a responsible parent and would know if it was affecting them in any way. Normal parents don't just plonk their kids down with a phone or a tablet for hours a day, we all know they should be doing other things like playing out, taking exercise, spending time with their family etc

    I'm not stupid, i'm quite capable (as are the majority of parents) in reading reports and studies and making my own decisions about my own children. Just because a study says usage of electronic gadgets may cause issues if used incorrectly, it doesn't mean it will. Show me a study that proves it.

    You seem to be the one who doesn't want to hear any other viewpoint other than your own.
    Originally posted by meer53
    Erm.. I just did
    Plenty more out there, which you might also find useful.

    You've never once worried about them using electronic gadgets because you don't know what they're up to on them, and/or it's a case of out of sight out of mind, perhaps?

    Certainly the case with a lot of parents. They have no idea what their child's getting up to online, often with tragic consequences.
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    • ska lover
    • By ska lover 12th Aug 18, 5:32 PM
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    ska lover

    Certainly the case with a lot of parents. They have no idea what their child's getting up to online, often with tragic consequences.
    Originally posted by fibonarchie
    Oh god, as awful as this is....it is true.

    and it is true too, that kids / teens HIDE stuff from parents.

    The whole debate, to me, is a moot point ....cos it ain't worth the risk.
    The opposite of what you know...is also true
    • meer53
    • By meer53 12th Aug 18, 6:50 PM
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    meer53
    Erm.. I just did
    Plenty more out there, which you might also find useful.

    You've never once worried about them using electronic gadgets because you don't know what they're up to on them, and/or it's a case of out of sight out of mind, perhaps?

    Certainly the case with a lot of parents. They have no idea what their child's getting up to online, often with tragic consequences.
    Originally posted by fibonarchie
    From your link :

    "If used appropriately, it's wonderful," Hogan says of digital media. "We don't want to demonize media, because it's going to be a part of everybody's lives increasingly, and we have to teach children how to make good choices around it, how to limit it and how to make sure it's not going to take the place of all the other good stuff out there."

    Some research suggests that screen time can have lots of negative effects on kids, ranging from childhood obesity and irregular sleep patterns to social and/or behavioral issues.

    I can't see any proof in that article.

    No, i have never worried about my kids using phones, they were sensible kids, (one is 18, the other is grown up but has always had phones/tablets etc) Some parents will allow their kids unlimited access/time on electronic gadgets without a further thought about what their kids are doing/watching. That doesn't mean all children should be banned from using them as you seem to think.

    Times change, there will always be something that the researchers claim causes something or other, it's their job to find something. Read the studies, make your own decisions as to how you bring up your family/live your life. And don't believe everything you read in the media.
    • onlyroz
    • By onlyroz 12th Aug 18, 7:58 PM
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    onlyroz
    Seriously, nobody is suggesting giving a 6-year-old unlimited and unrestricted access to phones, apps, the internet, Facebook, youtube, twitter, instagram, snapchat, youp0rn, redtube etc etc.

    There are, however, plenty of interesting, educational and fun things that a child of this age can do with an iPod-type device or tablet - assuming that they are supervised, the device has parental controls turned on, and they are not allowed to use it every hour under the sun.

    Can you explain why I should prevent my kids from doing any of the following things with their device?

    - Listening to music
    - Listening to audiobooks
    - Listening to age-appropriate podcasts or radio shows
    - Watching videos (via e.g. a child account on Netflix, or Kids Youtube)
    - Taking photographs or videos
    - Editing photographs or videos
    - Map reading
    - Writing music (e.g. Garage Band or similar)
    - Programming a robot (e.g. Lego Boost)
    - Drawing pictures
    - Learning times tables
    - Learning spellings
    - Learning a foreign language
    - Playing age-appropriate puzzles and games
    - Sending messages to friends and relatives
    - Geocaching
    - AR games like Pokemon Go
    • ska lover
    • By ska lover 12th Aug 18, 8:05 PM
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    ska lover
    I mean when I was a kid, many moons ago, kids had to actually interact with each other. Social skills were learned

    Nowadays, they just press buttons..and get ''achievements''
    The opposite of what you know...is also true
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