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  • FIRST POST
    • steveouk
    • By steveouk 8th Aug 18, 9:18 AM
    • 307Posts
    • 107Thanks
    steveouk
    Unknown to my wife mt credit card
    • #1
    • 8th Aug 18, 9:18 AM
    Unknown to my wife mt credit card 8th Aug 18 at 9:18 AM
    So things had been fine for a couple of years i have had not debt and despite have a Barclaycard this was never more than a few hundred pounds and paid in full each month.

    I ended up having a crazy month in May/June and decided to open a Sainsburies credit card and balance transfer a large balance onto it.

    Things just built up i needed a new suit, i put the car insurance on it and did not get the money from my wife until much later - my fault i just did not ask. other things mounted up. Had to pay for fertility tests and tablets also.

    So i now have 1200 interest free for 25 months, however we will be due to re-mortgage at the end of 2019 so i really need to clear this by June 2019.

    This should not be a problem as i can do some overtime and have 300 in a regular saver and a few others bits due in the next few months so should be able to get together around 500.Leaves me around 700 to clear over 10 months.

    I have not set a direct debit as my wife manages the finances and would see it on my bank statement. So i went to pay cash in HSBC with the statement but they have lost my first payment. Sainsburies refused to do a chase and HSBC have not come back to me after i went into the branch on Saturday. I will go in there again today.

    I am worried that if i take large amounts out my account to pay the cash over the counter it will get noticed. I am either going to have to drip feed it or find an excuse as to why my spending money has gone up. I can get away with a little more each month and then just spend less but i cant tell her as she will flip if she finds out i am in debt again.

    I know in a separate thread we have put money in savings as a couple but i thought i could just pay over 25 months but not really sure i should do this now as i don't want it on my credit file when we apply for a mortgage.
Page 1
    • steveouk
    • By steveouk 8th Aug 18, 12:38 PM
    • 307 Posts
    • 107 Thanks
    steveouk
    • #2
    • 8th Aug 18, 12:38 PM
    • #2
    • 8th Aug 18, 12:38 PM
    Good news! My payment has been found and i am now 100 off the balance so only 1200 to go.
    • Newstart3
    • By Newstart3 8th Aug 18, 4:19 PM
    • 34 Posts
    • 40 Thanks
    Newstart3
    • #3
    • 8th Aug 18, 4:19 PM
    • #3
    • 8th Aug 18, 4:19 PM
    You need to speak to your wife, explain the situation and deal with it together as adults. She might be a little mad, but it's only 1200... there's people on here that have racked up a lot more in secret debt.
    Trust me... she'll no doubt find out & she'll be more annoyed that you didn't talk to her about it.
    TSB 3,303, MBMA 4,315, Barclays 4,463, Argos 1,260, Mortimer Clarke CCJ 2,174, Lloyds CC 1534, Littlewoods 796, Next 510, Wonga 123, , Lending Stream 1 130.87, Bensons for beds 1509, Lending Stream 2 255.96, Lloyds CC 1,534, Total Jan 16 21,908, Feb 20,412 Sept 15,515 Total Aug 18 3,303
    • steveouk
    • By steveouk 8th Aug 18, 4:33 PM
    • 307 Posts
    • 107 Thanks
    steveouk
    • #4
    • 8th Aug 18, 4:33 PM
    • #4
    • 8th Aug 18, 4:33 PM
    hum i know it makes sense but with such a history of credit card debt i am too scared to tell her.
    I am trying to get her to trust me that i can manage things she just regards me as incapable of late so this would just serve to re-enforce that
    • Willing2Learn
    • By Willing2Learn 8th Aug 18, 4:45 PM
    • 1,585 Posts
    • 1,207 Thanks
    Willing2Learn
    • #5
    • 8th Aug 18, 4:45 PM
    • #5
    • 8th Aug 18, 4:45 PM
    You need to speak to your wife, explain the situation and deal with it together as adults. She might be a little mad, but it's only 1200... there's people on here that have racked up a lot more in secret debt.
    Trust me... she'll no doubt find out & she'll be more annoyed that you didn't talk to her about it.
    Originally posted by Newstart3
    Ditto to these thoughts. It'll more than likely be found out anyhow.
    hum i know it makes sense but with such a history of credit card debt i am too scared to tell her.
    Originally posted by steveouk
    Everyone has a hiccup. You had a mad two months and now you are back in control again. Don't turn this in to a web of lies and deceit...it only leads to trouble in the long run
    I work within the voluntary sector, supporting vulnerable people to rebuild their lives.

    I love my job

    • SSDD23
    • By SSDD23 8th Aug 18, 5:45 PM
    • 304 Posts
    • 641 Thanks
    SSDD23
    • #6
    • 8th Aug 18, 5:45 PM
    • #6
    • 8th Aug 18, 5:45 PM
    I'd make a plan to show her how you are going to repay the debt, what you will pay and when etc

    She'll probably be mad, but if you're going to her with the problem and the solution, it'll come across better than just telling her you're in debt
    • dionysia
    • By dionysia 8th Aug 18, 7:54 PM
    • 77 Posts
    • 155 Thanks
    dionysia
    • #7
    • 8th Aug 18, 7:54 PM
    • #7
    • 8th Aug 18, 7:54 PM
    Please reconsider not telling your wife - 1,200 isn't a huge amount and with her support you can get it under control quickly. Some of the things sound like joint expenses anyway (fertility treatments surely the definition of this!) - how does she think that was paid for, if she manages the finances? If life happened and you ended up not repaying in time for it not to come out when you remortgage I'm sure that would be worse.
    June 2017: owe 16,818.
    June 2018: owe 13,263.
    • steveouk
    • By steveouk 10th Oct 18, 6:16 PM
    • 307 Posts
    • 107 Thanks
    steveouk
    • #8
    • 10th Oct 18, 6:16 PM
    • #8
    • 10th Oct 18, 6:16 PM
    Well I have managed to open a basic current account with santander and set a dd to pay minimum each month. I have had good pay from work the last two months and put money into savings so I was thinking of paying the debt off next September as I opened a regular saver account. I want to tell my wife but I am so scared of her reaction
    • Chandelier.
    • By Chandelier. 10th Oct 18, 6:44 PM
    • 768 Posts
    • 1,971 Thanks
    Chandelier.
    • #9
    • 10th Oct 18, 6:44 PM
    • #9
    • 10th Oct 18, 6:44 PM
    That is good that you have opened a separate bank account and set a DD to pay towards this each month, maybe pay just a bit more then the minimum to bring it down quicker?

    If I read correctly, haven't you managed to put this onto a 0% card? If so divide the total amount of debt against how many months are left on the promo period and pay the set amount each month. This ensures that it is paid off before the promo expiry date unless that is not an option for you?

    Or if you are able to access a higher rate interest account, maybe split half between savings and half towards debt repayment.

    It is up to you. Take control whilst you can.

    I am sure your wife would prefer you to be open and honest with her rather then worry yourself about it, creating unnecessary anxiety. Is there a reason that you are scared of her reaction?

    I would suggest finding some time where both of you are in a relaxed environment and broach the subject lightly. Let her know what is happening, but that you have a clear plan in place to pay this off.

    Either cut up or get rid of the credit card so you aren't tempted to spend any more. It becomes a vicious cycle and before you know it all the odd payments mount up and it can become overwhelming.

    I understand your fears and anxieties over this and can resonate with how it feels. Once you have a plan in place you will feel so much better.

    All the best.
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