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    • Sponge_Cake
    • By Sponge_Cake 7th Aug 18, 6:56 PM
    • 107Posts
    • 14Thanks
    I feel bad about this but...
    • #1
    • 7th Aug 18, 6:56 PM
    I feel bad about this but... 7th Aug 18 at 6:56 PM
    My DP has proposed to me today. Weíve got a baby on the way, due October and it wasnít a complete surprise. We bought a house a few months ago. Everything is going well.
    However, I really donít like the ring sad I feel so ungrateful for saying this. Iím assuming itís second hand as itís got some pretty bad tarnishing/scuff marks on it and itís just not my style at all.

    Of course Iím not going to say anything to him. The ring isnít what matters really, but deep down, Iím a tiny bit disappointed.
Page 2
    • Red-Squirrel
    • By Red-Squirrel 8th Aug 18, 8:40 AM
    • 3,022 Posts
    • 7,987 Thanks
    He!!!8217;s probably on cloud 9 at the moment, he!!!8217;s going to be a dad and the woman he loves has agreed she wants to spend the rest of her life with him and raise their family together.

    Do you want to put a downer on that because of something as trivial as a bit of metal that goes on your finger?
    • jackieblack
    • By jackieblack 8th Aug 18, 9:02 AM
    • 7,878 Posts
    • 11,540 Thanks
    An eternity ring, also known as an infinity ring, is a lady's ring, worn on the hand, comprising a band of precious metal (usually gold) set with a continuous line of identically cut gemstones (usually diamonds) to symbolize never-ending love, usually given by a husband to his wife on the occasion of a significant anniversary.

    Traditionally presented after a couple has already been married, they can be given as a gift to commemorate a milestone wedding anniversary or to celebrate the welcoming of a new child or children into the family.
    Originally posted by Paparika
    Yep, I know what an Eternity Ring is, per the definition in bold , just never heard of it being expected with the birth of a child... (which, let's be honest, in today's society, hardly represents eternal commitment... )

    I suspect the second half of your last sentence is a modern 'non traditional' addition/expectation.
    Last edited by jackieblack; 08-08-2018 at 9:10 AM.
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    • PasturesNew
    • By PasturesNew 8th Aug 18, 9:06 AM
    • 63,593 Posts
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    You gave away the goods .... be grateful he bothered to put a ring on it at long last.

    • meer53
    • By meer53 8th Aug 18, 9:25 AM
    • 9,244 Posts
    • 13,422 Thanks
    I think it's a lovely ring. When you've worn it for a few weeks you won't be bothered what it looks like. He sounds like a sensible bloke, at least he's not on here asking about getting a loan for a ring ! Top marks to him !
    • Mojisola
    • By Mojisola 8th Aug 18, 9:47 AM
    • 29,604 Posts
    • 75,688 Thanks
    No-one is obliged to wear either an engagement ring or a wedding ring.
    • pollypenny
    • By pollypenny 8th Aug 18, 1:01 PM
    • 24,384 Posts
    • 63,709 Thanks
    I like the ring, too. Something a bit different.
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    • fibonarchie
    • By fibonarchie 8th Aug 18, 1:26 PM
    • 754 Posts
    • 1,249 Thanks
    You gave away the goods .... be grateful he bothered to put a ring on it at long last.

    Originally posted by PasturesNew

    I like you, PasturesNew
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    • Sponge_Cake
    • By Sponge_Cake 8th Aug 18, 7:30 PM
    • 107 Posts
    • 14 Thanks
    Iím fair skinned with long fingers so I donít think my colouring is the issue.
    Since looking at it a bit more overnight I do like it and Iím warming to it abit more. Iíll just get it cleaned up.
    • oystercatcher
    • By oystercatcher 8th Aug 18, 8:55 PM
    • 1,720 Posts
    • 4,368 Thanks
    Carrying on the 'off track ' . When I was a midwife I quite often saw an eternity ring being presented just after a birth.

    OP. I think it's the significance of the ring that counts more than anything. I rarely wear my engagement ring now .
    • CRANKY40
    • By CRANKY40 8th Aug 18, 8:55 PM
    • 2,894 Posts
    • 31,393 Thanks
    I think it's really pretty and I like a stand alone ring. It's going to be really hard to get a wedding ring that sits neatly along side it. Your intended probably hasn't thought about that.
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    • kimplus8
    • By kimplus8 8th Aug 18, 9:06 PM
    • 693 Posts
    • 2,108 Thanks
    the ring is really pretty, is it needing to be replaced or just cleaned, I can't see the pic very well on my lappy. if it needs replacing then the jewellers can do that fairly inexpensively but to clean it up, you can but a solution from the jewellers fairly cheap to clean the precious metal/stones to bring the up all sparkly again. x
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    • Bluebell1000
    • By Bluebell1000 8th Aug 18, 9:30 PM
    • 682 Posts
    • 1,900 Thanks
    I think the ring is beautiful!

    I only wear my wedding ring since we got married, not my engagement ring, so there's no reason why you would have to wear it after the wedding if you didn't want to.
    • Primrose
    • By Primrose 8th Aug 18, 9:47 PM
    • 8,194 Posts
    • 28,621 Thanks
    Well maybe if you're going to have to wear the ring doe the rest of yiuemlife it,s time to be really honest and say you loved his geature but really don't like his taste, so could you go together and swap it for something you really like. Men are often pretty hopeless at knowing what kind of jewellery a woman likes.

    I solved that problem early on by choosing and paying for my own engagement ring, having given my other half the money beforehand as he was even poorer than me when we got engaged!
    • Pollycat
    • By Pollycat 9th Aug 18, 11:13 AM
    • 20,522 Posts
    • 55,192 Thanks
    Iím fair skinned with long fingers so I donít think my colouring is the issue.
    Since looking at it a bit more overnight I do like it and Iím warming to it abit more. Iíll just get it cleaned up.
    Originally posted by Sponge_Cake
    Maybe it was just your immediate thought that it didn't look like a traditional engagement ring and that's what put you off.

    I think it's a pretty ring.
    I have one of similar design that I had made in Sri Lanka.
    It's really practical as it has no claws to catch on things.
    • DD265
    • By DD265 9th Aug 18, 8:55 PM
    • 1,410 Posts
    • 3,244 Thanks
    Did you talk about your preferences and he ignored them, did he not pay attention to the kind of jewellery you wear now or is it possible that he genuinely didn't know what your style would be? If the first two I'd probably be a bit disappointed too.

    I think it might be worth spending the money to get it cleaned and replated, then see how you feel about it. There could be an element of it being odd to see something on that finger still too, especially if you don't normally wear much jewellery.

    You're the person who will be wearing it and you should be happy with it so I would talk to him if you decide that you do want to change it.
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