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  • FIRST POST
    • Sponge_Cake
    • By Sponge_Cake 7th Aug 18, 6:56 PM
    • 107Posts
    • 14Thanks
    Sponge_Cake
    I feel bad about this but...
    • #1
    • 7th Aug 18, 6:56 PM
    I feel bad about this but... 7th Aug 18 at 6:56 PM
    My DP has proposed to me today. Weíve got a baby on the way, due October and it wasnít a complete surprise. We bought a house a few months ago. Everything is going well.
    However, I really donít like the ring sad I feel so ungrateful for saying this. Iím assuming itís second hand as itís got some pretty bad tarnishing/scuff marks on it and itís just not my style at all.

    Of course Iím not going to say anything to him. The ring isnít what matters really, but deep down, Iím a tiny bit disappointed.
Page 1
    • Rachel83
    • By Rachel83 7th Aug 18, 6:59 PM
    • 292 Posts
    • 517 Thanks
    Rachel83
    • #2
    • 7th Aug 18, 6:59 PM
    • #2
    • 7th Aug 18, 6:59 PM
    Feel like its a repeat of the twitter engagement ring thread!

    Honestly just tell him? Go shopping for a new one, or just learn to live with it? Maybe its a family ring?
    • Sponge_Cake
    • By Sponge_Cake 7th Aug 18, 7:04 PM
    • 107 Posts
    • 14 Thanks
    Sponge_Cake
    • #3
    • 7th Aug 18, 7:04 PM
    • #3
    • 7th Aug 18, 7:04 PM
    I feel too awful to tell him. He!!!8217;s very sensitive about these sorts of things. Could I take it to a shop to be tidied up?
    • Sunny Intervals
    • By Sunny Intervals 7th Aug 18, 7:08 PM
    • 55 Posts
    • 252 Thanks
    Sunny Intervals
    • #4
    • 7th Aug 18, 7:08 PM
    • #4
    • 7th Aug 18, 7:08 PM
    Yes, many jewellers do cleaning services.


    Alternatively, maybe something soppy along the lines of: "I love the ring, but it's not really a style I could wear every day and I want to be able to wear it every day to show how much I love you. How would you feel if we picked out something together?"
    • Rachel83
    • By Rachel83 7th Aug 18, 7:12 PM
    • 292 Posts
    • 517 Thanks
    Rachel83
    • #5
    • 7th Aug 18, 7:12 PM
    • #5
    • 7th Aug 18, 7:12 PM
    Depends on your definition of tidying up?

    Doesnt bode well if your having a child getting married and you cant even discuss a ring you are going to be wearing forever. Sorry a little blunt, but Im not sure what else you can do? And surely taking the ring somewhere to be tidied up whatever that means would mean you will have to have the conversation why its not on your finger for a period of time, therefore bringing about another possibly awkward conversation if he is a sensitive person?
    • DCFC79
    • By DCFC79 7th Aug 18, 7:21 PM
    • 32,302 Posts
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    DCFC79
    • #6
    • 7th Aug 18, 7:21 PM
    • #6
    • 7th Aug 18, 7:21 PM
    Depends on your definition of tidying up?

    Doesnt bode well if your having a child getting married and you cant even discuss a ring you are going to be wearing forever. Sorry a little blunt, but Im not sure what else you can do? And surely taking the ring somewhere to be tidied up whatever that means would mean you will have to have the conversation why its not on your finger for a period of time, therefore bringing about another possibly awkward conversation if he is a sensitive person?
    Originally posted by Rachel83

    Then there would be the conversation IF the ring would be lost by the jewellers.


    I agree with what you say Rachel.
    • Smellyonion
    • By Smellyonion 7th Aug 18, 7:23 PM
    • 95 Posts
    • 55 Thanks
    Smellyonion
    • #7
    • 7th Aug 18, 7:23 PM
    • #7
    • 7th Aug 18, 7:23 PM
    Is it the ring itself that is tarnished or the stone? Imperfections are usually noticeable in larger diamonds when the clarity is low.
    • Poor_Single_lady
    • By Poor_Single_lady 7th Aug 18, 8:32 PM
    • 1,422 Posts
    • 5,498 Thanks
    Poor_Single_lady
    • #8
    • 7th Aug 18, 8:32 PM
    • #8
    • 7th Aug 18, 8:32 PM
    Not to be awkward but if you knew this was on the cards why didn't you explain what you would like. Then he would have known.
    could you put up with it for a while and then suggest a change further down the line- In 6 months or whatever.
    2017- 5 credit cards plus loan
    Overdraft And 1 credit card paid off.

    2018 plans - reduce debt
    • Sponge_Cake
    • By Sponge_Cake 7th Aug 18, 8:39 PM
    • 107 Posts
    • 14 Thanks
    Sponge_Cake
    • #9
    • 7th Aug 18, 8:39 PM
    • #9
    • 7th Aug 18, 8:39 PM


    Here!!!8217;s a picture of said ring
    • Sponge_Cake
    • By Sponge_Cake 7th Aug 18, 8:45 PM
    • 107 Posts
    • 14 Thanks
    Sponge_Cake
    • Chrisv
    • By Chrisv 7th Aug 18, 8:55 PM
    • 4,344 Posts
    • 78,170 Thanks
    Chrisv
    Not wanting something is as good as possessing it Ė Donald Horban
    • gettingtheresometime
    • By gettingtheresometime 7th Aug 18, 9:02 PM
    • 3,905 Posts
    • 9,884 Thanks
    gettingtheresometime
    My take is that you've got a baby on the way & just bought a house.....2 fairly expensive events.

    Could it be that he's bought a ring - which may not have been his first choice - which he can afford rather than would have chosen to have bought?

    Also remember that, apparently the father is expected to present the mother with an eternity ring on the birth of the child.

    Or could it be an heirloom?
    Lloyds OD / Natwest OD / PO CC / Wescott / Argos Card cleared thanks to the 1 debt v 100 day challenge


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    • LilElvis
    • By LilElvis 7th Aug 18, 9:26 PM
    • 3,732 Posts
    • 10,176 Thanks
    LilElvis
    It just needs replating - it's a very cheap to get done and they will also be able to buff out any minor scratches. From memory about £30. It will look really nice once you've had it done.
    • *max*
    • By *max* 7th Aug 18, 9:27 PM
    • 2,848 Posts
    • 13,405 Thanks
    *max*
    I think it's lovely! You can absolutely get it cleaned at a jeweller's, it'll look like new afterwards.
    • Poor_Single_lady
    • By Poor_Single_lady 7th Aug 18, 10:03 PM
    • 1,422 Posts
    • 5,498 Thanks
    Poor_Single_lady
    I think it's beautiful. awww. Congratulations on the engagement.

    Personally I don't think it matters if you change it or upgrade at a later date but that is very pretty!
    2017- 5 credit cards plus loan
    Overdraft And 1 credit card paid off.

    2018 plans - reduce debt
    • Elinore
    • By Elinore 8th Aug 18, 7:05 AM
    • 121 Posts
    • 369 Thanks
    Elinore
    As I am olive skinned with a mild a yellow undertone as well as blunt hands - ugh i would dislike this ring intensely it really wouldn't suit.

    It maybe the OP has similar coloring or hand shape so the ring would not sit well.

    Ask, gently, regarding the origin of the ring - check its not some cherished heirloom and then mention getting and everyday ring (need not be expensive)

    That way all the bases are covered

    I have a very expensive ring, which i am petrified to wear - but a cheap lookalike that i wear everyday (in fact i have several cheap copies as i am prone to losing them - hence being petrified to wear the real one!)
    Last edited by Elinore; 08-08-2018 at 7:09 AM.
    • jackieblack
    • By jackieblack 8th Aug 18, 7:13 AM
    • 7,873 Posts
    • 11,534 Thanks
    jackieblack
    Also remember that, apparently the father is expected to present the mother with an eternity ring on the birth of the child.
    Originally posted by gettingtheresometime
    Expected by whom?
    Never heard that before
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    • Paparika
    • By Paparika 8th Aug 18, 7:52 AM
    • 2,340 Posts
    • 2,247 Thanks
    Paparika
    Expected by whom?
    Never heard that before
    Originally posted by jackieblack

    An eternity ring, also known as an infinity ring, is a lady's ring, worn on the hand, comprising a band of precious metal (usually gold) set with a continuous line of identically cut gemstones (usually diamonds) to symbolize never-ending love, usually given by a husband to his wife on the occasion of a significant anniversary.


    Traditionally presented after a couple has already been married, they can be given as a gift to commemorate a milestone wedding anniversary or to celebrate the welcoming of a new child or children into the family.
    Life is about give and take, if you can't give why should you take?
    • Poor_Single_lady
    • By Poor_Single_lady 8th Aug 18, 8:12 AM
    • 1,422 Posts
    • 5,498 Thanks
    Poor_Single_lady
    Yes that's definately what people need - more nonsense rules and more spending for no reason.

    Don't worry about that OP. Just do what makes you happy.
    2017- 5 credit cards plus loan
    Overdraft And 1 credit card paid off.

    2018 plans - reduce debt
    • MovingForwards
    • By MovingForwards 8th Aug 18, 8:14 AM
    • 167 Posts
    • 222 Thanks
    MovingForwards
    You have too much emphasis on the ring and not what it symbolises; a union, between 2 (and a bit) people, with a view of getting married and being together for life.

    Get it cleaned up or whatever, when planning your wedding describe your desired wedding ring and only wear that, keeping the engagement ring safe and to pass on to your first born when s/he is planning their future.
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