Your browser isn't supported
It looks like you're using an old web browser. To get the most out of the site and to ensure guides display correctly, we suggest upgrading your browser now. Download the latest:

Welcome to the MSE Forums

We're home to a fantastic community of MoneySavers but anyone can post. Please exercise caution & report spam, illegal, offensive or libellous posts/messages: click "report" or email forumteam@.

Search
  • FIRST POST
    • jimmy08
    • By jimmy08 30th Jul 18, 9:07 AM
    • 15Posts
    • 24Thanks
    jimmy08
    Need to face up to the reality of this mess I am in
    • #1
    • 30th Jul 18, 9:07 AM
    Need to face up to the reality of this mess I am in 30th Jul 18 at 9:07 AM
    Good morning,

    I have just completed a SOA to finally get a complete picture of the mess that are my finances.

    I am 40 years old and live with my wife in Worcestershire. We have two kids aged 8 and 10. I have built up a lot of debt over the years with little to show for it. It's reached a stage now where I am worried that if we don't take action, we are going to struggle to support our kids as they go through unit etc.

    I should add that my wife has around 15K of her own personal debts at low or 0% rates, however she has roughly the equivalent amount in savings so she is effectively debt neutral. I have not included her debts on here but I have deducted the amount that she pays monthly from her take home pay, so that it's accurate. She supports me and the other debts and contributes fairly toward the bills etc. When we met she was insistent on maintaining some degree of financial independence due to bad experiences with a previous partner. We have a joint account for household bills, but also maintain our own accounts. We do share our 'spare' funds though and don't consider this money to belong to either one of us.

    As you can see, not all of my debt is at 0%. According to the eligibility checker, I am not eligible for any more promotional offers at present. I am going to look at this again early next year and just plough on for now.

    I am not in any arrears and I can afford the payments. I am just so dreadful with money and really need advice to get myself of out of this mess. My wife knows about all of this - I haven't shown her the SOA yet as I am on the train en route to a work meeting.

    Is this fixable? I rally don't want to have to sell our house or remortgage etc, but I fear that I am now in too deep.

    Any advice would be gratefully received.

    Jim x
Page 2
    • Working Mum
    • By Working Mum 31st Jul 18, 12:55 PM
    • 328 Posts
    • 1,131 Thanks
    Working Mum
    This definitely sort out able!!

    Keep a spending diary (keep every receipt) - cut up or hide your cards - set a weekly budget for spending - do an audit of your food cupboards and eat from them until you have to buy more food - meal plan - cook meals from scratch - all of these things will make you more mindful about how you are spending your money.

    Dave Ramsey is really inspirational and his way walks alongside a lot of the teachings here. You can buy a book or YouTube him when you feel you need motivation!

    Good luck
    • zippygeorgeandben
    • By zippygeorgeandben 31st Jul 18, 1:09 PM
    • 951 Posts
    • 1,299 Thanks
    zippygeorgeandben
    Hi Jim,
    Good on you for tackling this mountain of debt! But like others say, it IS achievable. It'll be long, it'll be hard work and you'll have to make a few tough choices along the way. Is the other half on board? Really hope so!
    You might end up getting like me and then throwing extra money at the debt to get it gone quicker! Keep us updated, we're always here for advice (whether you want to read it or not!!)
    Savings End November 2018 2267.13
    September 2018 986.09
    October 2018 1254.04
    November 2018 27.00
    December 2018
    January 2019
    • jimmy08
    • By jimmy08 31st Jul 18, 8:16 PM
    • 15 Posts
    • 24 Thanks
    jimmy08
    Than you for all of your posts. Feeling supported by you all.

    I!!!8217;ve been through the StepChange debt remedy again today and got the same result... !!!8216; you can afford your debts blah blah blah!!!8217; so that!!!8217;s made me feel better.

    This afternoon I sat and cut up all night of my credit cards. Glad to see them go! The last 24 hours have been a roller coaster of emotions for me, but I need to pull myself together now and crack on.

    I have been working in London today and got chatting to a woman in the office. She pays 1300 childcare per month, so just a bit less than my debt payments. Made me realise that whilst I!!!8217;m be got a lot of work to do, there are others feeling with similar outgoings for many reasons. I also switched my mortgage product recently with the same bank. We pay 390 less mortgage interest compared with a couple of years ago. I know it!!!8217;s a different than big, but it makes me feel a bit better to know that the saving in mortgage interest offsets some of the unsecured interest. These little things have stopped me from cracking up over the last 48 hours.
    • enthusiasticsaver
    • By enthusiasticsaver 31st Jul 18, 10:30 PM
    • 7,378 Posts
    • 16,288 Thanks
    enthusiasticsaver
    This is definitely fixable with some better financial discipline and a determination to stop wasting money on stuff you don't need. Your children are still young so sorting this out now is definitely sensible. Cutting up your cards is a good move so you are not tempted. You need to save emergency savings fund at the same time so you don't resort to credit when you have an unexpected bill. Debt free in 29 months would be great. I would tackle CC1 first and see if you can get that one cleared by putting the 545 extra on to that. That would clear it in around 7-8 months. You would then have an extra 680 to go towards CC7 each month.
    Debt free and mortgage free and early retiree. Living the dream

    I'm a Board Guide on the Debt-Free Wannabe, Mortgages and Endowments, Banking and Budgeting boards. I volunteer to help get your forum questions answered and keep the forum running smoothly. Any views are mine and not the official line of moneysavingexpert.com. Pease remember, board guides don't read every post. If you spot an illegal or inappropriate post then please report it to forumteam@moneysavingexpert.com
    • enthusiasticsaver
    • By enthusiasticsaver 31st Jul 18, 10:36 PM
    • 7,378 Posts
    • 16,288 Thanks
    enthusiasticsaver
    HI,

    The money has gone on genera;l overspending for many years. Holidays, weekends away, new clothes, things for the house etc. I have no excuses as this situation didn't need to happen. I have seen lots of stories on here of people who have found themselves in debt due to uncontrollable circumstances, however this is not my experience. We didn't need to get into debt and I am deeply embarrassed.

    We do have a lot of equity in the house. Not sure of its exact value but I think in the region of 210K, so around 140K equity. I am resisting the urge to explore remortgage options as I don't think that this will solve anything. I need to learn how to manage my money. Remortgaging would effectively give me 50K of 'spare' credit. I have seen lots of stories on here of people who have remortgaged and then ran up the debt again. I cannot take that risk. I also don't want to mess with our home as its where my family live!
    Thanks for post
    Originally posted by jimmy08
    Definitely do not remortgage and turn unsecured debt into secured. You do not need to if you can just get a grip on your overspending and think before buying stuff if you really need it enough to get into debt over it. Also with almost 20% interest on a lot of the debt everything you spend on credit is costing you 20% more. Get rid of a few of those credit cards and then try the eligibility checker next year some time to get some of the debt moved to 0%
    Debt free and mortgage free and early retiree. Living the dream

    I'm a Board Guide on the Debt-Free Wannabe, Mortgages and Endowments, Banking and Budgeting boards. I volunteer to help get your forum questions answered and keep the forum running smoothly. Any views are mine and not the official line of moneysavingexpert.com. Pease remember, board guides don't read every post. If you spot an illegal or inappropriate post then please report it to forumteam@moneysavingexpert.com
    • jimmy08
    • By jimmy08 31st Jul 18, 11:51 PM
    • 15 Posts
    • 24 Thanks
    jimmy08
    I'm not going to consolidate or remortgage. Consolidation hasn't worked for me in the past

    It's amazing how quickly my mindset has changed. I have made excuses for our dents for so many years. I am surrounded my people who always claim to be broke and in debt so I genuinely thought that it was normal to have loads of debts I can now see that this doesn't have to be the way
    • DawnW
    • By DawnW 1st Aug 18, 8:20 AM
    • 5,355 Posts
    • 42,343 Thanks
    DawnW
    Just a thought, but is it not worth your ringing the dormant credit card company and asking them if there is a 0% balance transfer deal available now? Can't be any harm in asking!

    • jimmy08
    • By jimmy08 1st Aug 18, 10:16 AM
    • 15 Posts
    • 24 Thanks
    jimmy08
    I'll definitely give this a go. We have used the card for 20 fuel and paid is straight off - I will wait until the end of this month and call them.

    Just a thought, but is it not worth your ringing the dormant credit card company and asking them if there is a 0% balance transfer deal available now? Can't be any harm in asking!
    Originally posted by DawnW
    • jimmy08
    • By jimmy08 1st Aug 18, 10:26 AM
    • 15 Posts
    • 24 Thanks
    jimmy08
    Last night I managed to sit down with my wife and look at budget together. We have only managed a few quick conversations this week.

    We both feel like a weight has been lifted already - just knowing that this is going to be manageable. We discussed our goals - something that we have never really done before. Our youngest will start high school in Sep 2022. We live in the catchment of a very good school so we both agree that we should stay put until the school places are sorted ( our eldest will start next year).

    This gives us 4 years to clear the debt and build some savings before we can think of moving house - we wouldn't be moving miles away, but just out of the catchment area.

    We have agreed that our journey out of debt needs to be challenging but realistic. We aren't going to sacrifice every pleasure for 4 years as this would make us unhappy. We are going to aim for a 2k per month payment towards the debts, with the view of paying more when possible. We are going to factor in cheap holidays in the UK - cornwall etc as we still feel that this is valuable time with our kids. My car will need to be replaced at some point in the next 4 years so we need to consider this too as I am not prepared to take on any sort of car finance or credit.

    We have set the end of December 2019 as a milestone for us. We should have cleared around 30K by that point, factoring in interest too ( assuming that we don't get any additional 0% offers).

    We both feel really up for this. I know we are very lucky that we can do this and still live an ok life.
    Thanks again for everyone's support and words of advice/encouragement.
    • zippygeorgeandben
    • By zippygeorgeandben 11th Aug 18, 10:30 PM
    • 951 Posts
    • 1,299 Thanks
    zippygeorgeandben
    Hi Jimmy,
    Great news that not only are you both involved but fully committed to this!
    Savings End November 2018 2267.13
    September 2018 986.09
    October 2018 1254.04
    November 2018 27.00
    December 2018
    January 2019
Welcome to our new Forum!

Our aim is to save you money quickly and easily. We hope you like it!

Forum Team Contact us

Live Stats

3,943Posts Today

8,091Users online

Martin's Twitter