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  • FIRST POST
    • Newly retired
    • By Newly retired 20th Jul 18, 10:09 AM
    • 2,406Posts
    • 2,816Thanks
    Newly retired
    Struggling with indecision
    • #1
    • 20th Jul 18, 10:09 AM
    Struggling with indecision 20th Jul 18 at 10:09 AM
    I am at a time in my life when I want to make the future easier to cope with, but am struggling with the present!
    I am in good health, been retired 11 years, despite my username.
    DH is about the same age, but in less good health, arthritis, type 2 diabetes, well controlled, angina. He went back to work twice and has only just fully retired. We both do voluntary work and I have family close by but very busy, his are further away but in touch.
    The house desperately needs decorating, some new carpets and a number of minor jobs. In the old days DH did all the decorating but cannot do it now. He admits to needing help in the garden too but has not found anybody yet. Money is not the issue.
    The house is full to overflowing, making decorating and new carpets almost impossible.
    I donít know where to begin as he makes so much fuss about getting anybody in to do anything, even the window cleaner is a nuisance to him. I just dare not raise theses issues as he will have an angina attack.
    We are both to some extent hoarders of useful or sentimental stuff
    ( not like the stuff you see in those tv hoarders programmes) but there is so much of it including the garage and loft full. One of these days he will drop dead or become incapacitated and I wonít know where to start with it all but at least I wonít need his agreement any more. I know from decluttering threads that others are in this position but I need to get his agreement to get decorators in then we will have to clear some space. Any advice, without upsetting the Apple cart?
Page 2
    • Mnd
    • By Mnd 3rd Aug 18, 10:22 PM
    • 1,003 Posts
    • 1,332 Thanks
    Mnd
    We always compromise on colour schemes, she chooses, I paint

    Well done on your progress
    • Moneycat
    • By Moneycat 5th Sep 18, 1:16 PM
    • 37 Posts
    • 35 Thanks
    Moneycat
    I think i would forget about redecorating/new carpets for now and try and start with the decluttering. If you can achieve that, then the new decor/carpets can be the prize! Are there any areas in your house that are less cluttered? Start with the 'easy wins' first - then you'll see progress and it will spur you on. As others have suggested, try and start with your own things first, the kitchen cupboards (crockery), linen cupboards, your clothes, then bit by bit move to other areas. I would not go down the storage route as you would only be moving the problem and paying for it! - not solving it.
    Is you OH motivated by anything particular? Could he be coaxed in to do a car boot sale/ebay etc? Or make it a challenge to pay for the new paint/carpet with the ebay/boot sales? It's tough but I wouldn't give up, clearing is therapeutic!!!!!
    • Newly retired
    • By Newly retired 15th Sep 18, 1:52 PM
    • 2,406 Posts
    • 2,816 Thanks
    Newly retired
    Update
    Decorator booked, colours chosen, stair carpet chose and measurements taken. Just need a plasterer to do a small job before the decorator comes, so it is all happening.
    • crv1963
    • By crv1963 15th Sep 18, 2:13 PM
    • 670 Posts
    • 1,486 Thanks
    crv1963
    NR- glad you've made progress. Sometimes we blokes don't see what is in front of us until the need is pointed out! I have the same approach as Mnd, I always wait until Mrs CRV points out the need. We discuss then follow her colour scheme, works well for us!


    The garden is my project, and the house hers, I just provide the labour.
    CRV1963- Light bulb moment Sept 15- Planning the great escape- aka retirement!
    • Newly retired
    • By Newly retired 8th Dec 18, 11:34 PM
    • 2,406 Posts
    • 2,816 Thanks
    Newly retired
    Sorry, I forgot all about this thread, been so busy.
    Decorating has finished and we are very pleased with the hall, landing and new stair carpet. It is also great to have finally got the kitchen/ dining room done and everything back to normal.

    Thanks for all the advice.
    There is no cure for DHís acquisitiveness. Although he has removed some of his collectibles, he has been buying stuff for the kitchen! A sandwich maker ( to replace an old one which I would gladly have thrown out) and an omelette maker ( I can make perfectly good omelettes, thank you), to add to the coffe maker and mini chip fryer he bought earlier this year. There is hardly any space left now. I donít want any of these things, but he is taking over the whole house. Grr.
    • pollypenny
    • By pollypenny 9th Dec 18, 8:53 AM
    • 25,682 Posts
    • 67,907 Thanks
    pollypenny
    My sympathies. My OH is collecting, ie hoarding, recipes including from magazines.

    The garage has been tidied, but very little disposed of. He has every tool since he was an apprentice, of course the old ones are imperial and useless now.
    Member #14 of SKI-ers club

    Words, words, they're all we have to go by!.

    (Pity they are mangled by this autocorrect!)
    • missile
    • By missile 10th Dec 18, 3:36 PM
    • 9,943 Posts
    • 5,040 Thanks
    missile
    I am at a time in my life when I want to make the future easier to cope with, but am struggling with the present!
    I am in good health, been retired 11 years, despite my username.
    DH is about the same age, but in less good health, arthritis, type 2 diabetes, well controlled, angina. He went back to work twice and has only just fully retired. We both do voluntary work and I have family close by but very busy, his are further away but in touch.
    The house desperately needs decorating, some new carpets and a number of minor jobs. In the old days DH did all the decorating but cannot do it now. He admits to needing help in the garden too but has not found anybody yet. Money is not the issue.
    The house is full to overflowing, making decorating and new carpets almost impossible.
    I donít know where to begin as he makes so much fuss about getting anybody in to do anything, even the window cleaner is a nuisance to him. I just dare not raise theses issues as he will have an angina attack.
    We are both to some extent hoarders of useful or sentimental stuff
    ( not like the stuff you see in those tv hoarders programmes) but there is so much of it including the garage and loft full. One of these days he will drop dead or become incapacitated and I wonít know where to start with it all but at least I wonít need his agreement any more. I know from decluttering threads that others are in this position but I need to get his agreement to get decorators in then we will have to clear some space. Any advice, without upsetting the Apple cart?
    Originally posted by Newly retired
    I can fully appreciate your DHs point of view. I suffer from the same affliction, I hate having to call trades people and feel I can do a better job myself. However as I get older and less able I am obliged to find a man who can.

    I volunteer with MS Society and have become familiar with several organisations who provide Care in the Community on a variety of issues. They can visit your home to advise what services you may require. Some are free others are self funded. You might want to make contact with one in your area? If you would like to PM with your town I may be able to advise of a local service provider.
    "A nation's greatness is measured by how it treats its weakest members." ~ Mahatma Gandhi
    Ride hard or stay home
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