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    • Mylife
    • By Mylife 3rd Jul 18, 9:19 PM
    • 38Posts
    • 37Thanks
    Messed up
    • #1
    • 3rd Jul 18, 9:19 PM
    Messed up 3rd Jul 18 at 9:19 PM
    I slept with a married man, yes I know it was wrong but what's done is done. I'm now 8wks pregnant and have decided to keep the baby. I did not want to involve the father, but he guessed it was his and eventually I admitted it. I can look /provide tor the baby alone. Financially I'm in a good place. he seems excited, wants accompany me to all my appointments, is suggesting names etc. I have tried to tell him that I do not wish to still be involved with him but he keeps calling, texting asking how I am.He is also offering money but I have said no. I'm thinking of moving and changing my no, but that would mean leaving my well paid job . Any suggestions on how I can deal with this.

    yes I know I was wrong
Page 13
    • pollypenny
    • By pollypenny 30th Aug 18, 5:49 PM
    • 25,689 Posts
    • 67,961 Thanks
    If there was contact between the child & the father I'm guessing the true relationship would never be acknowledged and the father would simply be passed off as a friend of Mum's.
    Originally posted by gettingtheresometime

    When the baby is small it could be fairly easy to avoid acknowledging the father.

    However, as it get older a family resemblance could well give it away. Any teacher will tell you how often we guess the parents before they sit in front of us at Parents' Evenings.

    A true story:

    Long-serving member of staff meeting a new intake in Y7 greeted a lad with 'Youre Robert Jones' boy, aren't you?'

    'No,sir. He lives next door.' was the reply.
    Member #14 of SKI-ers club

    Words, words, they're all we have to go by!.

    (Pity they are mangled by this autocorrect!)
    • Abbafan1972
    • By Abbafan1972 30th Aug 18, 6:05 PM
    • 5,294 Posts
    • 169,482 Thanks
    I would just be grateful that he does want to be involved - I certainly would!
    Winging it since 1972
    • Pollycat
    • By Pollycat 31st Aug 18, 6:27 AM
    • 21,660 Posts
    • 58,594 Thanks
    He should pay child maintenance based on his salary.
    You can find a calculator on-line.
    • klew356
    • By klew356 31st Aug 18, 8:43 AM
    • 395 Posts
    • 2,159 Thanks
    then if you can manage without his child maintenance but still take it, it could go into an account for the child when he/she is older.
    • klew356
    • By klew356 11th Oct 18, 12:41 PM
    • 395 Posts
    • 2,159 Thanks
    Any update?
    • Pollycat
    • By Pollycat 11th Oct 18, 1:09 PM
    • 21,660 Posts
    • 58,594 Thanks
    Any update?
    Originally posted by klew356
    Unlikely as the OP hasn't logged on since your last post.
    Time to move on.
    • Claddagh_Noir
    • By Claddagh_Noir 13th Oct 18, 9:45 PM
    • 32 Posts
    • 40 Thanks
    Overwhelming sadness right here. That poor baby and it's (unknown) siblings. They're the losers here. It's frightening how much power the OP has over her innocent child.
    Originally posted by Lioness Twinkletoes

    And they say it is the people who choose not to have children that are the selfish ones!!
    • Gigervamp
    • By Gigervamp 24th Oct 18, 6:14 PM
    • 6,361 Posts
    • 20,330 Thanks
    I know I'm coming late to this, and that OP isn't around any more, but I have to say, I feel very sorry for this child.

    They're going to grow up unaware that they have half siblings, and when they find out, it will affect them enormously. This happened to my ex, his dad had had another family before marrying my exes mum, and she'd insisted that he had no more to do with them, so my ex and his full siblings didn't find out about the others until they were in their 40s.
    • Mylife
    • By Mylife 29th Oct 18, 3:02 PM
    • 38 Posts
    • 37 Thanks
    Gigervamp I am still there, just a bit overwhelmed and tired these days. True to form what most people said is coming true, things are a lot more complicated than I initially anticipated.Its all a mess. I will update you guys sometime.
    • Gigervamp
    • By Gigervamp 29th Oct 18, 5:54 PM
    • 6,361 Posts
    • 20,330 Thanks
    Well, I wish you all the best, just remember that secrets and lies tend to get found out sooner or later.

    Good luck.
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