Made A Terrible Mistake

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  • Pixie5740
    Pixie5740 Posts: 14,515 Forumite
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    Maybe this isn't his first rodeo.
  • System
    System Posts: 178,093 Community Admin
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    The deed has been done. Blame is unimportant all that matters now is the fall out.

    I think we all agree it's important not to cut the Father out completely.

    As for his wife....His marriage. Let him deal with it.
  • gettingtheresometime
    gettingtheresometime Posts: 6,911 Forumite
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    ajak81 wrote: »
    I also stand up for the man here because weak he may have been he's a decent guy, he did not ask the girl to have an abortion, he did not offer to pay for an abortion and to keep it quiet to save his marriage, he did not try to avoid responsibility, he did not leave the girl to deal with this situation on her own so she'd feel abandoned and all alone no he did the right thing and stepped up and took ownership of his actions So I respect him for this in no small measure! Many men would not have acted in the same way as he did

    That why I say his reaction is very unusual - he's done the complete opposite of what you'd expect the man to do in this situation, even to the extent that he's suggesting names even at 8 weeks (hubby and I couldn't agree on names right up to the day I gave birth) and wants to go to hospital appts.

    If he didn't have children I could understand it but he has 3.

    I think there's a lot more going on here - the OP has alluded to this as well -than we're being told.
  • thorsoak
    thorsoak Posts: 7,166 Forumite
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    ajak81 wrote: »
    Hornets or not, pain and suffering or not, strife or not it's all completely immaterial to the child. The child is born innocent and should have his father and the father has a right to see his child. Anything else relating to the parents is their own fault and they'll just have to deal with it. The wife did marry the guy and obviously the fact he's cheated and had a child is not related to the child's rights to have a father or the fathers right to spend time with his son or daughter

    Any fall out from the "adults" situation will have to be dealt with by them and if they don't like it then it's just hard cheese

    I have sympathy for the wife but not the other two

    I also stand up for the man here because weak he may have been he's a decent guy, he did not ask the girl to have an abortion, he did not offer to pay for an abortion and to keep it quiet to save his marriage, he did not try to avoid responsibility, he did not leave the girl to deal with this situation on her own so she'd feel abandoned and all alone no he did the right thing and stepped up and took ownership of his actions So I respect him for this in no small measure! Many men would not have acted in the same way as he did

    Decent guys do not cheat on their wives, let alone have unprotected sex with someone other than their wife.
  • unholyangel
    unholyangel Posts: 16,863 Forumite
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    Pollycat wrote: »
    I'm not sure which posts you think are rude and offensive.
    This is my opinion, posted way up-thread.

    Most of the posts haven't been offensive, but I think the following post would fit that description quite nicely.
    JWM wrote: »

    As for the Sperm Donor's family, the wife needs to know that the man she trusts has got a silly tart at work pregnant

    Notice how the guy who cheated on his wife is referred to as a man yet the OP is a silly tart. This is despite the man being the one with multiple partners.

    Its typical for someone who has been cheated on to displace all their anger & venom onto the person who isn't their partner. Because its easier for them to convince themselves that that person caused their partner to cheat rather than the truth - that their partner is a scumbag who cares more about a quick shag than they do the 15 years (or however long) of marriage they have.
    You keep using that word. I do not think it means what you think it means - Inigo Montoya, The Princess Bride
  • gettingtheresometime
    gettingtheresometime Posts: 6,911 Forumite
    First Anniversary Name Dropper First Post I've been Money Tipped!
    ajak81 wrote: »
    I see your point to be fair but do you think it's possible your being slightly cynical of men in general. I'm a chap and I certainly hope that most men are not this way.

    I don't think it is a cynical view of men.

    Ok I can easily imagine a man saying have a termination , here's the money for an termination or if you chose not to have one I'll support you financially.

    What I struggle to imagine - and let's remember this is a married man, with children - is a man saying I'll support you financially, and I want to be involved from the word go.
  • trigger_fish
    trigger_fish Posts: 3,172 Forumite
    Combo Breaker First Post
    thorsoak wrote: »
    Decent guys do not cheat on their wives, let alone have unprotected sex with someone other than their wife.


    Quite right.


    That's why Tory former Prime Minister John Major had it away with Eggwina Currie across a House of Commons office table.
  • trigger_fish
    trigger_fish Posts: 3,172 Forumite
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    The 'fella has taken ownership of the situation'.


    We'll only really know that when the child is born.
  • Vet
    Vet Posts: 180 Forumite
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    Absolutely! Time to just let the truth out.
  • fibonarchie
    fibonarchie Posts: 975 Forumite
    trigger_fish wrote: »
    Quite right.


    That's why Tory former Prime Minister John Major had it away with Eggwina Currie across a House of Commons office table.

    :rotfl:

    That's a mental image I'd rather get out of my mind
    Signature Removed by Forum Team ..thanks to somebody reporting a witty and decades-old Kenny Everett quote as 'offensive'!!
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