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  • FIRST POST
    • CrazeeCurlee
    • By CrazeeCurlee 9th Jul 18, 9:09 PM
    • 29Posts
    • 3Thanks
    CrazeeCurlee
    Oldest friend took 1400, moved house, changed contact details without paying me back, what do I do?
    • #1
    • 9th Jul 18, 9:09 PM
    Oldest friend took 1400, moved house, changed contact details without paying me back, what do I do? 9th Jul 18 at 9:09 PM
    EDIT: Thank you to everyone who has responded, I really appreciate all your time in reading and posting. However... I have got the message that it is unlikely I will get the money back! I still want to take it to court, so I would be grateful for responses on how much the process is likely to cost, where I can send court documents to and if I can't send them to her mum or her nan, how much it would cost to trace her. Thans.

    THE STORY: Sadly I've seen a few similar cases on here... she agreed to hold onto some money for me (so I wouldn't spend it on stupid stuff) and transfer it on a certain date. She never did, there were always excuses as to why she couldn't, until she sent a dodgy screenshot which she claimed showed the money coming out of her account, changed her contact details and then never responded to anything I sent. The week before she went AWOL she moved into a new address, but did not give me it. I never received the money, and have all the proof of this. Additionally, her screenshot only showed 900 so even by her own evidence 500 is missing.

    I'm wondering what I can do now? My understanding is I need to send a letter before action (I have a good template for this) and offer mediation (I have found a good place) but since I don't know her address, or who exactly it is she works for, is it enough to send a letter before action via email, or to her Mum's or Nan's or previous living address? If not, I've seen Monkey Finder recommended on here, any idea how much they would cost? How about the whole process - realistically, how much am I going to have to spend?
    Last edited by CrazeeCurlee; 10-07-2018 at 9:28 AM.
Page 1
    • Edi81
    • By Edi81 9th Jul 18, 9:11 PM
    • 555 Posts
    • 512 Thanks
    Edi81
    • #2
    • 9th Jul 18, 9:11 PM
    • #2
    • 9th Jul 18, 9:11 PM
    Some friend!
    You need to accept that the money is likely to be gone.
    • worried jim
    • By worried jim 9th Jul 18, 9:12 PM
    • 9,656 Posts
    • 14,867 Thanks
    worried jim
    • #3
    • 9th Jul 18, 9:12 PM
    • #3
    • 9th Jul 18, 9:12 PM
    Chalk it down to experience and NEVER lend money again. You are not a bank sadly.
    "Only two things are infinite-the universe and human stupidity, and I'm not so sure about the universe"
    Albert Einstein
    • DCFC79
    • By DCFC79 9th Jul 18, 9:15 PM
    • 32,928 Posts
    • 20,737 Thanks
    DCFC79
    • #4
    • 9th Jul 18, 9:15 PM
    • #4
    • 9th Jul 18, 9:15 PM
    Chalk it down to experience and NEVER lend money again. You are not a bank sadly.
    Originally posted by worried jim

    Its not that the OP lent the friend the money but more a cash the OP gave said friend x amount to look after so it wouldn't be spent on stupid stuff.


    OP if you know her surname and area she lives give 192.com a go.
    Last edited by DCFC79; 09-07-2018 at 9:20 PM.
    • thorsoak
    • By thorsoak 9th Jul 18, 9:28 PM
    • 5,774 Posts
    • 26,665 Thanks
    thorsoak
    • #5
    • 9th Jul 18, 9:28 PM
    • #5
    • 9th Jul 18, 9:28 PM
    Scratch his/her name off the Christmas card list!
    • thorsoak
    • By thorsoak 9th Jul 18, 9:29 PM
    • 5,774 Posts
    • 26,665 Thanks
    thorsoak
    • #6
    • 9th Jul 18, 9:29 PM
    • #6
    • 9th Jul 18, 9:29 PM
    Scratch her name off your Christmas card list! And be grateful it wasn't any more.
    • CrazeeCurlee
    • By CrazeeCurlee 9th Jul 18, 11:05 PM
    • 29 Posts
    • 3 Thanks
    CrazeeCurlee
    • #7
    • 9th Jul 18, 11:05 PM
    • #7
    • 9th Jul 18, 11:05 PM
    Thanks for the responses everyone! Yes clearly she is no longer a friend :'-( which is such a shame as we've known each other since we were 5 and were very close.

    I would like to take it to court as 1) principle and 2) while I accept it is likely the money is gone and I will not see it again, there is still a chance if I take her to court, but no chance whatsoever if I don't. I doubt she will defend it, and even if she did, I have such a watertight case I know that I will win. Since she has a good job (she does something in finance for a firm), if I win in court, there might still be a chance of getting at least some of it back. 1.4k is a LOT of money to me, I am really struggling at the moment in a part time job, and really needed this money, mostly to pay to finish off my degree (to give the situation more perspective). So if anyone has any idea RE address and costs that would be great. I've read the guide on here about it but the amounts listed seem to vary wildly!

    @DCFC, I've tried 192.com but it only lists her Mum's address in 2011! Since then she's been back and forth from her Mum's and Nan's; she only moved into the new place a couple of months ago so not long enough to show on such a register I don't think sadly!
    • venison
    • By venison 9th Jul 18, 11:08 PM
    • 2,527 Posts
    • 2,839 Thanks
    venison
    • #8
    • 9th Jul 18, 11:08 PM
    • #8
    • 9th Jul 18, 11:08 PM
    Find a new friend and kiss good-bye to the money, we see almost daily that friends/family and money don't mix.
    Thanks for stopping by, have a good day/night/week/weekend/life
    • CrazeeCurlee
    • By CrazeeCurlee 9th Jul 18, 11:37 PM
    • 29 Posts
    • 3 Thanks
    CrazeeCurlee
    • #9
    • 9th Jul 18, 11:37 PM
    • #9
    • 9th Jul 18, 11:37 PM
    Thanks Venison, I get that! But I do want to take it to court so practical advice I would really appreciate!
    • DCFC79
    • By DCFC79 9th Jul 18, 11:40 PM
    • 32,928 Posts
    • 20,737 Thanks
    DCFC79
    Do you know where her mum lives ?
    You could try that.

    Its alright saying she has a job in finance but if shes spending money willy nilly she might not have enough to pay you back.
    Last edited by DCFC79; 09-07-2018 at 11:43 PM.
    • Money maker
    • By Money maker 10th Jul 18, 12:46 AM
    • 5,114 Posts
    • 11,631 Thanks
    Money maker
    Presume you know her family quite well having been friends since you were 5. Go and see her mum, lay it all out for her. That'll cause some embarrassment and you may be able to levy her address out of her. Is she on social media? Mutual friends?
    Please do not quote spam as this enables it to 'live on' once the spam post is removed.

    If you quote me, don't forget the capital 'M'

    Declutterers of the world - unite!
    • Armorica
    • By Armorica 10th Jul 18, 1:52 AM
    • 738 Posts
    • 553 Thanks
    Armorica
    If you take her through the courts and win, she won't have a career in finance much longer.
    • pjcox2005
    • By pjcox2005 10th Jul 18, 8:07 AM
    • 579 Posts
    • 624 Thanks
    pjcox2005
    Presume you know her family quite well having been friends since you were 5. Go and see her mum, lay it all out for her. That'll cause some embarrassment and you may be able to levy her address out of her. Is she on social media? Mutual friends?
    Originally posted by Money maker


    This with a reminder of the point below, "that you don't want to take her to court as it would damage her career in finance, but you don't have much choice as need the money back"
    • Paul_DNAP
    • By Paul_DNAP 10th Jul 18, 8:50 AM
    • 296 Posts
    • 355 Thanks
    Paul_DNAP
    Thanks Venison, I get that! But I do want to take it to court so practical advice I would really appreciate!
    Originally posted by CrazeeCurlee

    Practically speaking, what evidence do you have to present to court that this money ever existed, and crucially can you prove that it was given to her on the understanding she should give it back. If you can't then it is just your word against hers and it might be difficult to win a case against her.
    (Although I could be wrong, I often am.)
    • foxy-stoat
    • By foxy-stoat 10th Jul 18, 8:55 AM
    • 3,041 Posts
    • 1,711 Thanks
    foxy-stoat
    You didnt lend her the money, you just gave it to her to stop you spending it. Never heard of that one before. Its gone, you wont get it back. If you go to court you will be spending more money that you dont have and you still wont get any of it back. You dont want to spend money on principles.

    Name and shame on social media if you like to make yourself feel better - you probably have the same friends since they are your oldest friend.

    Good luck and get on with the rest of your life.
    • CrazeeCurlee
    • By CrazeeCurlee 10th Jul 18, 9:22 AM
    • 29 Posts
    • 3 Thanks
    CrazeeCurlee
    Thanks everyone.

    She deactivated her Facebook and Whatsapp once she went off with the money. I do know her mum, in fact I sent both her mum and nan messages on FB and the mum blocked me and nan has just ignored me! I won't turn up at their house as worried they would kick off.

    So if I know the mum's address, should I send the letter before action there? Would it be valid?

    @Paul, In my initial post I said she had sent a screenshot of her bank account which she argued showed the money had left her account and been sent to me (it didn't show that at all and I didn't receive any money) which is evidence of her acknowledging that she needed to give me back money. In addition to this I have reams of emails and FB conversations, texts, evidence of the transfer initially going into her bank etc. etc. It's clearly very straightforward (which is why I'm so shocked she'd do this)... However I'd prefer not to go into details of the case as I'm more interested in answers to the questions previously posted.

    I'm really looking for advice on how much realistically it is going to cost to go to court, where to send court documents and if I can't send them to her mum's or her nan's how I can find her and how much it would cost????
    • CrazeeCurlee
    • By CrazeeCurlee 10th Jul 18, 9:25 AM
    • 29 Posts
    • 3 Thanks
    CrazeeCurlee
    Everyone is saying it's gone, you won't get it back, don't even bother: there must be a reason small claims courts exist? Could I not get an attachment of earnings? Why is the chances of getting the money back so small that I shouldn't even attempt it?
    • bertiewhite
    • By bertiewhite 10th Jul 18, 9:30 AM
    • 1,354 Posts
    • 1,541 Thanks
    bertiewhite
    Everyone is saying it's gone, you won't get it back, don't even bother: there must be a reason small claims courts exist? Could I not get an attachment of earnings? Why is the chances of getting the money back so small that I shouldn't even attempt it?
    Originally posted by CrazeeCurlee
    It depends on how determined you are.

    Someone else must know where she's moved to. It's rare for just 2 people to be friends in isolation.
    • CrazeeCurlee
    • By CrazeeCurlee 10th Jul 18, 9:31 AM
    • 29 Posts
    • 3 Thanks
    CrazeeCurlee
    @ Foxy, I don't post on social media much at all, I don't want to put my life out there for everyone to see and our mutual friends are all really my friends now and they all already know. Still don't feel better though! I do still want to go to court, as as far as I can see I still have a chance of getting the money back (everyone is saying no chance but not explaining why?) whereas if I don't try there's no chance at all.
    • CrazeeCurlee
    • By CrazeeCurlee 10th Jul 18, 9:32 AM
    • 29 Posts
    • 3 Thanks
    CrazeeCurlee
    @Bertie, none of our mutual friends are that close with her anymore and she only socialises with her family and had 2 other close friends besides me, none of the 3 of us know each other and although I know who one of them is she wouldn't tell me where she lives (doubt if she even knows!). Her family are the only ones that know but they are ignoring me.

    I am pretty determined generally, in this case it would be a good idea to know exactly what I need to be determined to do...
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