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  • FIRST POST
    • InDenial2018
    • By InDenial2018 4th Jul 18, 3:16 PM
    • 6Posts
    • 5Thanks
    InDenial2018
    In Denial for too long
    • #1
    • 4th Jul 18, 3:16 PM
    In Denial for too long 4th Jul 18 at 3:16 PM
    As the title says, I have been in denial for a long time about my debt. Don't get me wrong, I know it's a huge amount but I always tell myself it's fine, I'm paying it off so what's the problem, it will be gone eventually, all the usual stuff. Not sure what has clicked but this week I have looked at it properly, written down all the figures and it's going to take me 19 months to clear. It works out that the last payment will be the month before my 50th birthday!!

    I know where I've been going wrong too. I look at my available money every month and tell myself I have plenty to make extra payments to the cards, then after I make the payment I realise I have no money for haircuts, entertainment, birthdays and the like, so end up spending on one of my cards again. Silly silly silly.

    I've spent the morning doing a spreadsheet with all my wages and outgoings on it. I looked through my bank accounts & credit card to get realistic figures for everything and I have set budgets for birthdays, Christmas and other similar spending. We are at the beginning of the month and I have just been paid so have already transferred the budgeted amounts into my savings account. All bills & card payments are covered for the month.

    It's hard looking at the balance on the cards and knowing there is no easy fix. I wish I could click my fingers and they would be gone. I know this is going to be a hard 19 months but I can't complain, I have enough budgets to treat myself so I won't miss out on everything, I just need to learn to tell myself no.
Page 1
    • mitch2509
    • By mitch2509 4th Jul 18, 3:20 PM
    • 41 Posts
    • 57 Thanks
    mitch2509
    • #2
    • 4th Jul 18, 3:20 PM
    • #2
    • 4th Jul 18, 3:20 PM
    Good luck!
    Debts at LBM (June 18):-

    Capital 1 - 413.46 Vanqqquis - 1676.43,First D Visa - 1578.73, Next - 2083.12, TSB - 5326.59,Barclaycard - 5195.01, Capital one me - 1359.99, Loan - 5702.31, Loan - 2739.99, Total 26,075.63
    • InDenial2018
    • By InDenial2018 4th Jul 18, 3:33 PM
    • 6 Posts
    • 5 Thanks
    InDenial2018
    • #3
    • 4th Jul 18, 3:33 PM
    • #3
    • 4th Jul 18, 3:33 PM
    Good luck!
    Originally posted by mitch2509
    Thank you. I had plans to visit a friend tonight but that has just been cancelled so I am going to spend the evening reading more threads on here to get ideas and possibly join a few challenges.
    • pidge04
    • By pidge04 4th Jul 18, 9:34 PM
    • 401 Posts
    • 1,026 Thanks
    pidge04
    • #4
    • 4th Jul 18, 9:34 PM
    • #4
    • 4th Jul 18, 9:34 PM
    The 19 months might be tough but they will probably go quickly. Imagine starting your 50s with no debt! What a wonderful feeling that will be! I wish you well!
    CC1 2400/549 CC2 3000/2299 CC3 600/348 LOAN 13,000/5235
    • InDenial2018
    • By InDenial2018 5th Jul 18, 11:01 AM
    • 6 Posts
    • 5 Thanks
    InDenial2018
    • #5
    • 5th Jul 18, 11:01 AM
    • #5
    • 5th Jul 18, 11:01 AM
    That's what I am using to keep myself motivated. Looking forward to being debt free and I might plan a little trip away for my 50th once I am free.
    • InDenial2018
    • By InDenial2018 10th Jul 18, 11:40 AM
    • 6 Posts
    • 5 Thanks
    InDenial2018
    • #6
    • 10th Jul 18, 11:40 AM
    • #6
    • 10th Jul 18, 11:40 AM
    Updating, not too regularly but enough to keep me motivated. At the end of clearing this debt it will be interesting to have something to read back on. Not a lot to update apart from a few bills leaving my account this week. I have a big spreadsheet and update that when I need to. I have been trying to think of some free entertainment ideas over the last few days. I didn't spend anything over the weekend, so if I can have a few more spend free weekends I will be happy.

    I have found over the past few months I am constantly using technology, whether it is my phone for social media & games, ipad for internet browsing or the tv. I wake up in the morning & pick my phone up and it is also the last thing I do before I go to sleep, I check social media. I want to cut this down because I don't think it does people any good to be glued to technology 24 hours a day.

    To do list
    Meal plan
    Think of ideas for sisters birthday present next month within budget
    Check the gift cards I have in my purse, are they still valid? What balance is on them? (Silly me, I have had these gift cards in my purse for a long time)
    Spend some time away from any technology
    • fatrab
    • By fatrab 10th Jul 18, 11:57 AM
    • 907 Posts
    • 3,231 Thanks
    fatrab
    • #7
    • 10th Jul 18, 11:57 AM
    • #7
    • 10th Jul 18, 11:57 AM
    I'm also hoping to be debt free by my 50th birthday, so I wish you the very best!


    Regarding the technology concerns, I completely agree. Too much of anything is bad for you!


    I used to use the excuse that my phone was my alarm clock, I'd be sitting up on FB etc until all hours and it would be the first thing I checked in the morning too. Now I don't even take my phone upstairs, I charge it in the living room. I only check social media once or twice a week now. I tried going cold turkey but that didn't work for long and there were some people and pages that I wanted to stay in touch with.


    Start off by switching off notifications. Every time my phone pinged I had to look at it!


    Hope this helps and good luck on your journey
    You can have results or excuses, but not both.
    Challenge - be 14 Stone BY XMAS!

    • Working Mum
    • By Working Mum 10th Jul 18, 3:30 PM
    • 240 Posts
    • 771 Thanks
    Working Mum
    • #8
    • 10th Jul 18, 3:30 PM
    • #8
    • 10th Jul 18, 3:30 PM
    I am striving to be debt and mortgage free by my 55th birthday!!

    I completely understand where you are coming from on the technology front - I have started leaving my phone in my kitchen when I am in other parts of the house. I take my phone to bed for using as an alarm but have it in "do not disyturb" type mode. fatrab's suggestion about muting notifcations is a good one.

    I think a digital detox is a great idea - I removed all apps I didn't use off my phone - hate FB so that is not a time waster for me. I check in a couple of times a day with twitter and messages.

    The thing I have found most useful is diversion tactics!! I have absorbed myself in some DIY and gardening and reading and it has successfully lead to me being more constructive!!

    Good luck with your Debt Free Journey!
    • InDenial2018
    • By InDenial2018 16th Jul 18, 3:19 PM
    • 6 Posts
    • 5 Thanks
    InDenial2018
    • #9
    • 16th Jul 18, 3:19 PM
    • #9
    • 16th Jul 18, 3:19 PM
    Thank you both, I'm glad I'm not the only one on board with a digital detox. It takes up so much time if you let it but is just so non productive! I have already turned off notifications on all of my social media apps, apart from Whatsapp, as that is my whole family's main form of communication, but that really is only used to sort out every day things like who has fed the dog, what time will we be home etc so I don't mind that.

    Working Mum - funny you should mention diversion tactics. I have used technology for one useful thing this weekend, I have set up alerts on my apple watch at certain times to get up & do something productive. So for example, today I am in work (currently on break) but have set an alert for 7pm to go for a 20 minute walk. I actually enjoy having a little evening walk but once my butt hits that sofa after a day in work, I sometimes convince myself there's no point. But having something to just give me a nudge will hopefully help.

    As for my to do list, I was partly successful. I have come up with a meal plan, but only for the next few days. It is based on what I have in the house though, so no grocery shopping needed. I also made a decision on my sister's birthday & am going to give her something that I actually put away for her for a Christmas present but I decided I will give her that for her birthday & make her something for Christmas as I have longer to get that done.

    I didn't get round to checking my gift cards though. Hopefully do that tonight.

    There isn't much movement in money this week because I don't have any more direct debits going out until the end of the month. Once they have gone out I will check them all against my spreadsheet to make sure it's all going where I think it is (so far all good). I can then update figures for everything. I'm looking forward to that.
    • InDenial2018
    • By InDenial2018 31st Jul 18, 12:57 PM
    • 6 Posts
    • 5 Thanks
    InDenial2018
    As it is the end of the month and I have been paid, I thought I would come and update my diary a little.

    Payments were on track for July. My budgets worked and I even had a little bit of a surplus with the amounts I set aside for spending money and fuel, so have kept them now to build up a pot. I was going to just put them towards an overpayment on one of the credit cards but then thought if I keep them as a surplus for a few months, I will know if July was a one off or if I actually don't need as much allocated to those items. Then I can put extra back into overpayments when I have a better idea of how much I actually spend.

    I have been paid, money is in the current account ready for the next round of Direct Debits at the beginning of August. I've set my budgets again and looks like this month I should be able to clear one of the cards. As long as my calculated budgets go to plan I can cross it off the list.

    I'm trying not to let the debt get me down and I know I'm in a fortunate position because I can make quite large overpayments, but I am impatient and it's not decreasing as quickly as I would like. I know there isn't anything I can do to change that, I only get overtime occasionally and can't take on a second job because of family commitments, so I have to just plod along. I'll get there, I think psychologically I need to get it under 10,000 but right now that feels like a real mountain to climb.
    • efes shareholder
    • By efes shareholder 31st Jul 18, 1:01 PM
    • 279 Posts
    • 745 Thanks
    efes shareholder
    Out of little acorns grown mighty oaks !

    Small steps and positive changes , I feel like I am plodding myself but it took many years to acquire my debt so there is only so much I can do to shift it
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