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    • beckysbobbles1
    • By beckysbobbles1 3rd Jul 18, 1:41 PM
    • 277Posts
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    beckysbobbles1
    Help with child support payments
    • #1
    • 3rd Jul 18, 1:41 PM
    Help with child support payments 3rd Jul 18 at 1:41 PM
    Hi all,


    I have a question on behalf of my partner regarding child support payments. He currently pays 730pm for his three children to his ex. He has the children once during the week and every other weekend so I believe this equates to 2-3 times a week.


    He works as a contractor so if he is not working due to sickness or taking holidays for the kids, then he doesn't earn.


    He's day rate is 200pd so this equates to 1000pw. However, the weeks he doesn't work (he usually takes 3 weeks off with the kids during the year) he obviously doesn't earn yet remains paying the 730pm.


    He's ex has started to get very funny with us and is asking for all sorts of things such as P60s etc. Whenever we have the kids we're always taking them out to theme parks, restaurants etc and buying clothes/toys etc. We love doing this however this probably adds up to another 300-400pm spending.


    Because things have become strained, we've thought it might be best to go through the formal channels and get everything official however we'r unsure how to go about this process.


    Does anyone know whether they would take into consideration the fact that although it seems like his gross annual earnings are 52,000 it is in fact more like 46,400-47,400 once we account for the time off during the holidays (mainly due to child care as his ex works too), bank holidays (which he can't work as it's closed) and if there's any random days off or sickness.


    Any good websites will be appreciated thanks.
Page 1
    • Rubik
    • By Rubik 3rd Jul 18, 1:57 PM
    • 160 Posts
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    Rubik
    • #2
    • 3rd Jul 18, 1:57 PM
    • #2
    • 3rd Jul 18, 1:57 PM
    Do the children stay overnight on those 2 or 3 days each week? It's overnights that are counted towards a reduction in CM, not day visits.

    CM is calculated on gross income, not net income.

    Speak to someone at CM Options who provide free and impartial advice on CM - https://www.cmoptions.org/

    Whenever we have the kids we're always taking them out to theme parks, restaurants etc and buying clothes/toys etc. We love doing this however this probably adds up to another 300-400pm spending.
    If times are difficult financially then you perhaps need to cut down on the things you are paying for, and buying for the children - while it's nice to treat them, there's no point in overspending if it leaves you short or struggling each month. Kids need time, love and attention, not things. There are so many free activities that you can enjoy with the children, try doing a quick google search for free kids' activities in your area - you may be surprised at what you will discover.
    If he's splashing the cash on theme parks, clothes, restaurants, etc, it will no doubt give his ex the impression he has a much higher income than he does......
    • SarahandherCat
    • By SarahandherCat 3rd Jul 18, 1:57 PM
    • 35 Posts
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    SarahandherCat
    • #3
    • 3rd Jul 18, 1:57 PM
    • #3
    • 3rd Jul 18, 1:57 PM
    You can take his yearly wage as the figure to work out child support rather then a month to month basis. It should be fine to take his earnings from April - April 2018, to work it out, then pay based on this...but if his wage changes for the current year, he woud have to pay the extra.
    • beckysbobbles1
    • By beckysbobbles1 3rd Jul 18, 2:02 PM
    • 277 Posts
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    beckysbobbles1
    • #4
    • 3rd Jul 18, 2:02 PM
    • #4
    • 3rd Jul 18, 2:02 PM
    Thanks for the replies.


    Yes the kids stay overnight once during the week (usually a Tuesday) and then Friday and Saturday night every other week.


    We're lucky in the sense of I earn a good salary so I'm happy to pay for most of these treats but I guess I just don't want my OH getting into financial difficulties because he's making over payments.


    He's looking to take some money out against his mortgage as he needs to clear some debts and do some repairs to his home, do you know whether the Ex would expect some of that money too?


    They were never married and he has his own home. It's all very confusing. Thanks for the links.
    • Rubik
    • By Rubik 3rd Jul 18, 2:29 PM
    • 160 Posts
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    Rubik
    • #5
    • 3rd Jul 18, 2:29 PM
    • #5
    • 3rd Jul 18, 2:29 PM
    I just ran a quick calculation on the gov.uk Cm calculator, based on the figures you gave, and it appears at the moment he is overpaying. It's worth him running the calculator himself.

    Is his ex asking for more money? He could open up a case with the CMS himself, and then he would only be required to pay the statutory amount. But it is usually better to try and have a family-based arrangement where the parents themselves agree on the amount and frequency of CM. It may be worth him explaining to his ex that he is currently overpaying, and he is happy to continue paying that amount, as well as buying clothes etc for the children when he can. -Also explain that if either of them were to go via the CMS then the amount would likely be lower, and she will receive less money which could well affect her household income.

    The fact they were never married isn't relevant - his obligations to the children remain the same. If you have dependent children living at home, then there will be a reduction in his Cm (if going through the CMS).
    • pinkshoes
    • By pinkshoes 3rd Jul 18, 2:29 PM
    • 15,970 Posts
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    pinkshoes
    • #6
    • 3rd Jul 18, 2:29 PM
    • #6
    • 3rd Jul 18, 2:29 PM
    Why not just use the government child maintenance calculator (google it) then put his income as 46k (e.g. 1000 a week then 6 weeks of the year holidays including bank holidays)?

    https://www.gov.uk/calculate-your-child-maintenance/y
    Should've = Should HAVE (not 'of')
    Would've = Would HAVE (not 'of')

    No, I am not perfect, but yes I do judge people on their use of basic English language. If you didn't know the above, then learn it! (If English is your second language, then you are forgiven!)
    • Rubik
    • By Rubik 3rd Jul 18, 2:30 PM
    • 160 Posts
    • 292 Thanks
    Rubik
    • #7
    • 3rd Jul 18, 2:30 PM
    • #7
    • 3rd Jul 18, 2:30 PM
    He's looking to take some money out against his mortgage as he needs to clear some debts and do some repairs to his home, do you know whether the Ex would expect some of that money too?
    She may expect a share, but that's irrelevant, she's not entitled to a share.
    • rach_k
    • By rach_k 3rd Jul 18, 3:03 PM
    • 1,299 Posts
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    rach_k
    • #8
    • 3rd Jul 18, 3:03 PM
    • #8
    • 3rd Jul 18, 3:03 PM
    Use his annual salary to work out how much he should be paying, then top it up if he'd prefer to pay more, but make sure his ex knows what the basic figure is.

    Do you really need to spend 300-400 a month on taking the kids out? By all means continue it if you're able to and want to but I think kids appreciate the free/cheap things just as much. Frisbee in the park with a home made picnic, or board games and home made pizzas can be far more fun than a restaurant!
    • beckysbobbles1
    • By beckysbobbles1 3rd Jul 18, 3:49 PM
    • 277 Posts
    • 359 Thanks
    beckysbobbles1
    • #9
    • 3rd Jul 18, 3:49 PM
    • #9
    • 3rd Jul 18, 3:49 PM
    Thanks for the replies. Taking into account all the non-working days, looks like he should be paying 111pw so he's grossly overpaying.


    I know he'll be happy to pay more but I think he's ex needs to appreciate that he is paying more.


    We have three children so sadly 300-400pm is normal. Doing simple things like ice skating then McDonalds afterwards is easily 70. We honestly don't mind treating the kids and they're not spoilt at all. They appreciate everything we do whether that's a BBQ on the beach or going to the cinema.


    I've appreciated your advice. It's so difficult as I hate there being issues but it seems like there's one thing after the other when it comes to his ex.
    • choccyface2006
    • By choccyface2006 3rd Jul 18, 7:49 PM
    • 2,254 Posts
    • 1,730 Thanks
    choccyface2006
    Hi,

    With regards to days out, Groupon have some great deals. I recently bought 4 ice skating tickets for 14 (plus a little Quidco cash back) as Groupon had a 50% discount on local deals that day, I also got an escape room game for 6 for 32 as they had 20% off deals.

    It's worth looking at deals but not buying them straight away as Groupon often get you a reduction a few days later and I have two accounts so you get random discounts sent to each.

    We've had some great deals such as a high ropes course, windsurfing and gorge walking and some restaurant deals work out cheaper than McDonalds.

    These deals required forward planning and maybe booking but the savings are worth it.

    Sarah

    • anna_1977
    • By anna_1977 4th Jul 18, 3:42 PM
    • 740 Posts
    • 1,014 Thanks
    anna_1977
    Thanks for the replies. Taking into account all the non-working days, looks like he should be paying 111pw so he's grossly overpaying.


    I know he'll be happy to pay more but I think he's ex needs to appreciate that he is paying more.


    We have three children so sadly 300-400pm is normal. Doing simple things like ice skating then McDonalds afterwards is easily 70. We honestly don't mind treating the kids and they're not spoilt at all. They appreciate everything we do whether that's a BBQ on the beach or going to the cinema.

    I've appreciated your advice. It's so difficult as I hate there being issues but it seems like there's one thing after the other when it comes to his ex.
    Originally posted by beckysbobbles1
    I agree, do the CSA calculator, maybe even break the payments up when he sends to the ex - one for child maintenance and one for child extra or something.

    I do totally disagree with you saying 3 kids means 300-400 is normal - not for most families and that's a lot to be spending a month. I get you're saying you don't mind treating but I don't think you need to be spending 4k a year to do it.
    • Seanymph
    • By Seanymph 4th Jul 18, 5:00 PM
    • 2,684 Posts
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    Seanymph
    Your income won't be taken into account, only his.
    • Spendless
    • By Spendless 4th Jul 18, 6:30 PM
    • 20,293 Posts
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    Spendless
    How old are kids? I find teens a lot more expensive than when they were younger and a picnic in the park sufficed. Just wondering if we could help with some suggestions if they're older.

    Sorry, no idea about child maintainance
    • retepetsir
    • By retepetsir 5th Jul 18, 9:57 AM
    • 1,108 Posts
    • 939 Thanks
    retepetsir
    I agree, do the CSA calculator, maybe even break the payments up when he sends to the ex - one for child maintenance and one for child extra or something.

    I do totally disagree with you saying 3 kids means 300-400 is normal - not for most families and that's a lot to be spending a month. I get you're saying you don't mind treating but I don't think you need to be spending 4k a year to do it.
    Originally posted by anna_1977
    I assume OP meant 3 of their own kids plus his 3 children, so 6 in total?

    The Great Declutter Challenge - 876
    ------------------------
    • badmemory
    • By badmemory 5th Jul 18, 11:44 AM
    • 1,967 Posts
    • 2,687 Thanks
    badmemory
    Is it possible she is getting funny with you because she knows how much is being spent on the children & believes that his income must be higher than he is saying to be able to afford it?
    • beckysbobbles1
    • By beckysbobbles1 6th Jul 18, 2:18 PM
    • 277 Posts
    • 359 Thanks
    beckysbobbles1
    Is it possible she is getting funny with you because she knows how much is being spent on the children & believes that his income must be higher than he is saying to be able to afford it?
    Originally posted by badmemory

    Thanks for all the replies. So I don't have any of my own children but hopefully one day we'll have kids together.


    I think she doesn't realise how much I contribute to the kids. I genuinely don't mind. I earn a good salary, far more than my OH so I'm happy to contribute.


    I don't think the issue is us spending above on the children, it's more the fact that his ex is incredibly money orientated and if she thinks she's losing out on money then that's an issue.


    The kids have everything they need.
    • paddy's mum
    • By paddy's mum 7th Jul 18, 9:07 AM
    • 3,559 Posts
    • 12,822 Thanks
    paddy's mum

    He's looking to take some money out against his mortgage as he needs to clear some debts and do some repairs to his home, do you know whether the Ex would expect some of that money too?
    Originally posted by beckysbobbles1
    The answer to this depends on whether it is a mortgage held by them both or if the property itself is, or is claimed to be, jointly owned.
    • maman
    • By maman 8th Jul 18, 5:23 PM
    • 18,412 Posts
    • 109,915 Thanks
    maman
    I think you've had good advice on the support payments. I'd tell her exactly what is mandatory and how much extra your OH pays and then stick to repeating that as a mantra every time she moans.


    I think she doesn't realise how much I contribute to the kids. I genuinely don't mind. I earn a good salary, far more than my OH so I'm happy to contribute.

    I don't think the issue is us spending above on the children, it's more the fact that his ex is incredibly money orientated and if she thinks she's losing out on money then that's an issue.

    The kids have everything they need.
    Originally posted by beckysbobbles1

    You're bound to get comments about spending/over spending on a mse site. It would seem though that your partner really can't afford it if he's having to withdraw equity on his house to pay off debts and do repairs.


    I'd suggest that if you have spare money that you want to spend on the children then you save it up for them. Soon enough they'll want some expensive bit of technology or even a car each!
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