Your browser isn't supported
It looks like you're using an old web browser. To get the most out of the site and to ensure guides display correctly, we suggest upgrading your browser now. Download the latest:

Welcome to the MSE Forums

We're home to a fantastic community of MoneySavers but anyone can post. Please exercise caution & report spam, illegal, offensive or libellous posts/messages: click "report" or email forumteam@.

Search
  • FIRST POST
    • backandevenmorebroke
    • By backandevenmorebroke 15th Jun 18, 10:09 AM
    • 21Posts
    • 36Thanks
    backandevenmorebroke
    Bring me sunshine................
    • #1
    • 15th Jun 18, 10:09 AM
    Bring me sunshine................ 15th Jun 18 at 10:09 AM
    Well well well, where to start! I previously had a diary on here but as my situation with debt has gotten worse since then I felt too embarrassed to post an update.

    So here I am starting afresh for about the 100th timeÖÖ

    My main issue is spending frivolously on items and things that arenít a basic human need and go beyond the occasional treat. My relationship with money is what I refer to as Ďbipolarí (apologies if I offend anyone by this term) in that I go through periods where something triggers and I genuinely donít care about what I spend. I Ďtreatí myself or my daughter and think of £30 added to my total debt is nothing giving the amount I owe, whatís another £100?! It then switches to periods when I wonder how the h*ll Iím going to get out of this mess and frankly, I feel like sh*t about my finances.

    My issue is, I have no idea how to control my compulsions to over-spend. I do a monthly budget so I know what Ďspareí money I have and I even got myself a cash-card to load my food, petrol and spending money so that this is separate from my main pot. Obviously this hasnít been successful.

    If someone can tell me the secret to having a true Ďlightbulbí moment where I suddenly become effortlessly frugal I would love to know!

    Personal background, I am a single mum to 1 lovely daughter who starts school in September. I work full time and get paid pretty well for what I actually do. However, I have been in my current job a long time, itís local government and due to all of the budget tightening there is no room to progress. There are also very little training opportunities so itís not like Iím staying and enhancing my skills. Iíve just completed my 3rd year of studying part-time with the open uni for a law degree as my ultimate career goal is to be a solicitor, although I still have another 2/3 years until I finish this. My issue is Iíd really like to increase my income and apply for a different job but with my daughter going to school in September, I will be dropping a few hours and my working pattern will be abit all over the place. My current job is very accommodating to this but I think itís unlikely that any potential employer would be. Due to the only place that does before/after school clubs for her school being full there is no physically possibility I can do 9-5 Monday-Friday even with help from her dad and family. Itís really frustrating as I feel I have a lot more to offer in a working sense and I genuinely feel itís time to move on and itís making me feel trapped on this front.

    One of the things that has prompted me to re-start my diary is that generally I could get by on my budget as I do have money leftover however, my daughterís father paid maintenance upfront for the rest of the year, my car broke and I had to spend the money to get it repaired as again, I have no savings pot. I have been fine the past few months but from September my child tax credit it likely to drop significantly as Iíll no longer have childcare costs. Worst case scenario is that I will have £0 leftover every month from Sept Ė December.

    In order to soften this blow my goal is to save as much as I can, minimum of £300 between now and then to get me through the rest of the year, something which is completely do-able if I pull my finger out. I do have a largish bill to pay at the end of July as my tenancy is up for renewal and it costs me £85 every 12 months (I have requested a 2 year contract this time but yet to have a response). Bar that and a week we are away in Norfolk with my little one in which Iíll need spending money for, the up-coming months should be pretty quiet social-wise.

    Debt wise, this is over 20k of unsecured credit card debt across a range of credit cards and 2 store accounts (v*ry and n*xt). Only part of this debt is on interest free and because of my high debt utility there is no chance of getting and 0% balance transfer deals (Iíve checked numerous times). So Iím going to give it ago and try by pay smallest to highest debt first, see if I get the debt busting bug when I see whole debts completely disappear and get this debt gone once and for all. I realise that it will be a long slog for me but I have given myself 5 years from TODAY to get this gone. I have also just taken on another debt (I know shame on me ) in the form of adult braces, oddly it was one of the biggest mental struggles Iíve ever had about taking on debt but I have hated my teeth all of my life and honestly, they affect my self-confidence more than I can explain.

    I also have a car on finance, my old car died and the cost to repair was greater than the value of the car so I had no option to get another as due to my home-work commute a car is a necessity. I guess because the interest and payments are set in stone I donít see the benefit of trying to pay it off sooner?!

    Positives:

    Iím 28 so time is on my side to get the debt paid, repair all of the damage and hopefully save for a house before I reach 40
    I have my health and a very happy, healthy child who I have always wanted to know life is about enjoyment and fulfilment and this does not come from material possessions.
    I do believe that anything is possible when you put your all into it and I believe I can find a way to have this attitude to getting rid of debt for good.

    One start I have made is listing a load of stuff on ebay, I plan on using the profits to pay off a chunk of the n*xt or v*ry account. My daughter is with her father part of this weekend so my plan is to GUT everywhere and list anything and everything I can.

    I think thatís enough for now? Apologies for the long post, Iíll be back with an SOA later!
Page 1
    • Starmummy
    • By Starmummy 15th Jun 18, 10:48 AM
    • 211 Posts
    • 972 Thanks
    Starmummy
    • #2
    • 15th Jun 18, 10:48 AM
    • #2
    • 15th Jun 18, 10:48 AM
    Hi and welcome. Your story sounds a lot like mine. single mum to a daughter, working a job I knew I couldn't progress in because I was tied to the school run, spending habbits meaning weeks of beans on toast followed by big splurges to treat me and my daughter because we deserved it.

    I wish you the best of luck. You will get there.

    A lot of people on her would suggest doing a SOA so we can try and help see where you can save/ or what you should be putting money aside for.

    Take care
    SM
    Total debt at LBM c.£19k
    debt consolidated 16/8/18 £12,618.12/£12,618.12 Total savings £450
    • Starmummy
    • By Starmummy 15th Jun 18, 10:51 AM
    • 211 Posts
    • 972 Thanks
    Starmummy
    • #3
    • 15th Jun 18, 10:51 AM
    • #3
    • 15th Jun 18, 10:51 AM
    I love the name of your diary BTW
    Total debt at LBM c.£19k
    debt consolidated 16/8/18 £12,618.12/£12,618.12 Total savings £450
    • beanielou
    • By beanielou 15th Jun 18, 2:51 PM
    • 56,783 Posts
    • 230,987 Thanks
    beanielou
    • #4
    • 15th Jun 18, 2:51 PM
    • #4
    • 15th Jun 18, 2:51 PM
    Another one loving the name.
    Happy shiny new diary
    Lou~ Debt free Wanabe No 55 DF 03/03/14.
    **Credit card debt free 30/06/10~** **Weight loss 2 stone 11 lbs **

    "A large income is the best recipe for happiness I ever heard of" Jane Austen in Mansfield Park.
    ***Fall down seven times,stand up eight*** ~~Japanese proverb.
    It starts with you, it starts from now. *** It is ok to be me.***
    ***Keep plodding***
    Out of debt, out of danger. MFW 2018. No 144
    • scoobysnax40
    • By scoobysnax40 15th Jun 18, 3:26 PM
    • 20 Posts
    • 46 Thanks
    scoobysnax40
    • #5
    • 15th Jun 18, 3:26 PM
    • #5
    • 15th Jun 18, 3:26 PM
    Loving the name also.

    Want to offer you the best of luck on your mission. Have subscribed and will be following your progress with interest

    Scooby
    LBM: March 2018, Aiming for a DFD of August 2019

    1 debt vs 100 days chapter 29
    Ä7,050.57 / 7,401.57
    • backandevenmorebroke
    • By backandevenmorebroke 15th Jun 18, 3:53 PM
    • 21 Posts
    • 36 Thanks
    backandevenmorebroke
    • #6
    • 15th Jun 18, 3:53 PM
    • #6
    • 15th Jun 18, 3:53 PM
    Thank you all
    Total Debt June 2018 £23,064 /£0 Paid off
    Ultimate Savings Goal £0/£1000
    Holiday Pot £0/£500
    • redofromstart
    • By redofromstart 15th Jun 18, 4:09 PM
    • 1,937 Posts
    • 11,898 Thanks
    redofromstart
    • #7
    • 15th Jun 18, 4:09 PM
    • #7
    • 15th Jun 18, 4:09 PM
    Just dropping in to say happy new diary and good luck

    I'm off to listen to morecambe and wise track now, not heard that for years :-)
    • backandevenmorebroke
    • By backandevenmorebroke 20th Jun 18, 9:51 AM
    • 21 Posts
    • 36 Thanks
    backandevenmorebroke
    • #8
    • 20th Jun 18, 9:51 AM
    • #8
    • 20th Jun 18, 9:51 AM
    Well not much to update on here. Pretty quiet weekend this weekend, my little one was with her dad for father's day so I spent the day doing house chores and painting a wooden pallet that I am turning into a planter. I just need to get some weed control fabric and the seeds and it'll be finished but this will wait until after payday.

    Was hoping for a non-spendy week but it's my best friend's son's birthday on Friday which involves going out for food and bringing my little one with me. It's an all you can eat place so for me and my daughter it'll cost £25, add on the expense of the gift and there is £40 gone! I also needed some cat food, cat litter and laundry bits so that was a £16 spend in B&M today. Food wise I think all I need is some fresh milk, yoghurt and fruit and that'll see me through until we go away Monday.

    I'm also abit annoyed with the letting agent/landlord. The letting agent had emailed asking whether I intend to renew the tenancy for 6 or 12 months and that the rent and terms would be the same. I emailed back and requested a 2 year contract (so I didn't have to pay the £85 fee again next year) and I had an email from my letting agent saying that the landlords are happy to renew for 12 months (at an increase of £15 per month of my rent) and can't see why it wouldn't be renewed again for the year after. Now I wish I had just emailed back to confirm I'd like to renew for 12 months as it looks like my query has prompted a rent increase!

    I've done my budget for next month and I should have £121.21 spare money. I plan on setting aside £50/£60 of this as spending money for our trip to Norfolk and I've also booked for me and my daughter to visit a cat cafe (I'm cat mad) I'm hoping there will be money leftover from our holiday budget but if not I will put £20 aside for parking and food. That leaves me at least £40 to put away this month.

    Got a few bits ending on e*bay today which I think will make me around £15/£20, I plan on keeping that in m paypal account until I reach £100 and then using that to pay off part of the n*xt or v*ry.

    I was productive yesterday and totted up my total debts again and updated my signature, made my eyes water a little but at least I know my starting point. I'm a little worried about what I'm going to do once the 0% interest ends on the rest of the cards but I'll tackle that when it comes to it. I have considered a DMP on and off and while I don't particularly like this option, I am open to it being an option if I physically can't cover the repayments.

    Anyway, enough of my essays, back to work I go!
    Last edited by backandevenmorebroke; 20-06-2018 at 9:56 AM. Reason: Spelling
    Total Debt June 2018 £23,064 /£0 Paid off
    Ultimate Savings Goal £0/£1000
    Holiday Pot £0/£500
    • Starmummy
    • By Starmummy 20th Jun 18, 11:16 AM
    • 211 Posts
    • 972 Thanks
    Starmummy
    • #9
    • 20th Jun 18, 11:16 AM
    • #9
    • 20th Jun 18, 11:16 AM
    Keep posting lovely. The good and the bad. It helps. The cat Cafe sounds fun and Norfolk is beautiful.

    Landlords can be swines but letting agents are the worst. I've never met one who can function as a competent human being so I can feel your pain
    Total debt at LBM c.£19k
    debt consolidated 16/8/18 £12,618.12/£12,618.12 Total savings £450
    • backandevenmorebroke
    • By backandevenmorebroke 22nd Jun 18, 11:49 AM
    • 21 Posts
    • 36 Thanks
    backandevenmorebroke
    Thankyou starmummy!

    Well I've just had confirmation my landlord will be increasing the rent, it's only by £15 a month but that's £15 that could be spent on something else! I emailed back a snotty email and said I basically have no choice to renew seeing as it's only a month before the current tenancy is up. I really want to find somewhere a little cheaper next year however, realistically I'm going to need £1000 minimum saved for application fees and a deposit and I'm not sure I can get anywhere cheaper that would be in a decent location! I know rent increases are normal due to inflation but it annoys me that everything inflates in price bar my wage packet! The little village my daughter will be starting school tends to be a lot cheaper so I will start keeping my eye out early next year......Has anyone had any experience with applying for a rental property with bad credit? When I moved into this place I had very little credit so my rating was good, now it's not so great.....

    Anyway, rant over about rent! I'm desperate for payday now as officially skint! I had to nip to t*sco and get some bits for dinner which means I'll had to dip into my paypal pot to cover the meal out tonight which I'm upset about as there was £35 in there already! I think I'm just annoyed in general today! I don't get paid until Wednesday and our trip starts Monday, not sure what I'm going to do for the 1st two days we are there but I'm sure I will figure something out.

    Had a little meeting at the school my daughter will be starting in Sept and felt a little overwhelmed, I'm not ready for my baby to grow up and go to school yet think this is just adding to my bad mood as I know I'm going to be skint from Sept onwards (explained on previous post) and her going to school is just such a huge change for us both.

    I'll end on a positive note so I don't look too moan-y, after July's debt payments have come out I'll be back under 23k *hoorah*

    Hope everyone has a lovely weekend!
    Total Debt June 2018 £23,064 /£0 Paid off
    Ultimate Savings Goal £0/£1000
    Holiday Pot £0/£500
    • backandevenmorebroke
    • By backandevenmorebroke 9th Jul 18, 9:36 AM
    • 21 Posts
    • 36 Thanks
    backandevenmorebroke
    Well Iím doing brilliantly on updating this arenít I!

    Had a lovely week away with the family, now I want to own a house and a boat and live along the Norfolk Broads, maybe one day!

    Work has been abit meh since being back although I canít complain about the glorious weather we have been having. Had a really good weekend with my little one, we went to a kitty caf! for lunch yesterday, had a water fight when we got home and then out on our scooters through the countryside - it was bliss! I had been feeling about down as I went on a date Thurs evening and although I thought it went quite well, I havenít heard from him since Friday! This is exactly why I donít bother dating as it always feels like such a drain and waste of energy. I wouldnít mind so much if people were honest and could tell you but it seems like people prefer to do a ghosting act, I have to remind myself that itís not a reflection on me and that everyone deserves a little more than that.

    Anyway, I should have my uni module result next Tuesday, I am out with the girls the Saturday after so Iíll either be celebrating or drowning my sorrows, hopefully not the latter!

    Money wise I have been ok and on budget so far this month although Iím trying to sell a few more bits on e*ay to fund my night out for this month. Next monthís budget will be tight as I have to pay the £85 tenancy renewal fee which should leave me with £35 to get through the month :/ I have already got a few things booked in and paid for with my little one so hopefully we should be able to get by. Although I will need to buy her whole school uniform and not sure that can wait until August payday so Iím going to have to think about that one. My mum wants to buy her shoes so that will help and Iím sure her dad will chip in but weíll see.

    Anyway, back to the Monday morning grind!
    Total Debt June 2018 £23,064 /£0 Paid off
    Ultimate Savings Goal £0/£1000
    Holiday Pot £0/£500
    • backandevenmorebroke
    • By backandevenmorebroke 13th Jul 18, 10:44 AM
    • 21 Posts
    • 36 Thanks
    backandevenmorebroke
    So after many weeks going through my finances with a fine tooth comb, calculating what position I'll be in when my daughter starts school in Sept, when her father starts up with maintenance again in January and doing numbers calculations on StepChange, I decided today to request an application pack for a DMP.

    I have set up a basic bank account, cancelled all of the credit card direct debits and drafted the letters to all of my creditors offering them a token payment of £1 until I have sought further advice from StepChange. I have arranged for my account to be switched on 23rd July so Iím going to hold on in sending the letters until late next week. I feel it's sensible to start the DMP in September/October as I'll know what my tax credit payments will be confirmed and it'll give me a few months to get an emergency fund built up.

    To be honest, I feel physically sick, I'm sat at work and I could cry BUT I know realistically it's what's best. I just don't have the breathing space even just paying the minimum payments to be able to get an emergency fund together or have any savings and itís only going to get worse when the 0% deals run out. I have been so conflicted as I know it'll ruin my credit rating but realistically paying the debt off at the rate I have been with the added interest, I would have no hope in saving a deposit within 6 years. SC have calculated my debt free date to be 6 years (probably less as Iíll have paid off my car by this time) so HOPEFULLY creditors play ball, apply defaults early on and I have a chance of being able to save some money towards a deposit in the meantime. I just feel like an utter failure at this point and Iím not looking forward to the responses from the creditors.

    But here we go, a new and hopefully brighter chapter.
    Total Debt June 2018 £23,064 /£0 Paid off
    Ultimate Savings Goal £0/£1000
    Holiday Pot £0/£500
    • Toni'sfriend
    • By Toni'sfriend 13th Jul 18, 10:57 AM
    • 1,610 Posts
    • 15,334 Thanks
    Toni'sfriend
    I just feel like an utter failure at this point and I!!!8217;m not looking forward to the responses from the creditors.
    You're not a failure and what you're doing seems like a very sensible course of action. You are young and to be admired for studying for a degree whilst holding down a job and looking after a little one.
    Good luck and keep looking forward.
    • backandevenmorebroke
    • By backandevenmorebroke 13th Jul 18, 11:00 AM
    • 21 Posts
    • 36 Thanks
    backandevenmorebroke
    Thankyou Toni'sfriend, think it's just hard on your own as there is nobody to share the burden/support you. I've gotten through everything else in life (and worse than this) so I'm sure once the ball is in motion I'll feel a lot better about things!
    Total Debt June 2018 £23,064 /£0 Paid off
    Ultimate Savings Goal £0/£1000
    Holiday Pot £0/£500
    • DMP_Tiger
    • By DMP_Tiger 13th Jul 18, 11:50 AM
    • 167 Posts
    • 436 Thanks
    DMP_Tiger
    Hi, just read through your diary. I saw that you've posted on the DMP Support thread. have you had a good read of the whole thread? It is a big read and you'll probably need to do it in chunks but there is so much useful knowledge on there.

    My DMP is due to begin in October, the responses I've had from creditors to my initial lettrer has been great! Not heard back from all of them though.....

    Anyway just wanted to wish you well. I felt sick too at the start (end of May), but now I feel fantastic!
    • backandevenmorebroke
    • By backandevenmorebroke 14th Jul 18, 8:12 AM
    • 21 Posts
    • 36 Thanks
    backandevenmorebroke
    Thankyou DMP_Tiger

    I've had a brief read through but I will anchor down this weekend for a good read.

    I'm feeling much better today, I think it was just seeing all of those numbers and having to face reality that I can't sustain how I am living now. I'm actually thinking about doing a self managed DMP as I like the idea of being able to make overpayments and getting the debt down a little quicker. I've sat down and done my budget for the next 3 months where I am only offering £1 token payments and I think I'll be able to get a good emergency fund together whilst being able to get my daughter's school uniform. I also want to get a few other pots together for a clothing fund, Christmas fund and treat fund so will try and get as much in each so I can start this DMP with some savings behind me.

    Starting the morning well today abd was up at 6am for my workout, just off out for a picnic with my little one and my mum (who is supplying the picnic) so it'll br a nice day outdoors away from my thoughts. Hope everyone has a good weekend!
    Total Debt June 2018 £23,064 /£0 Paid off
    Ultimate Savings Goal £0/£1000
    Holiday Pot £0/£500
    • backandevenmorebroke
    • By backandevenmorebroke 14th Jul 18, 8:14 AM
    • 21 Posts
    • 36 Thanks
    backandevenmorebroke
    Apologies for my typos, fat fingers and a smartphone do not mix
    Total Debt June 2018 £23,064 /£0 Paid off
    Ultimate Savings Goal £0/£1000
    Holiday Pot £0/£500
    • DMP_Tiger
    • By DMP_Tiger 14th Jul 18, 11:09 AM
    • 167 Posts
    • 436 Thanks
    DMP_Tiger
    Picnics are great and family time is great! Have a fantastic day!
    • backandevenmorebroke
    • By backandevenmorebroke 15th Jul 18, 9:29 AM
    • 21 Posts
    • 36 Thanks
    backandevenmorebroke
    Well I had a lovely day yesterday, we had a go on a rowing boat along the river, had our picnic and a stroll around. I actually trained arms yesterday so the rowing gave my arms an extra special burn I've spent this morning doing all of my budget and holding letters on DEBCAB and printed them off ready to post this week. I'm holding off on sending the one to my current bank as I'm not sure my new account will be set up in time for my next payday and I don't want my current bank to take the money for the overdraft! I'm actually feeling a lot more positive and in control about it now.

    My daughter is with her father today so I'm going to get the cleaning done, nip for some food bits and then go out for a good walk. I just being out in the countryside, it's honestly where I find my peace. Hope everyone enjoys their Sunday!
    Total Debt June 2018 £23,064 /£0 Paid off
    Ultimate Savings Goal £0/£1000
    Holiday Pot £0/£500
    • DMP_Tiger
    • By DMP_Tiger 16th Jul 18, 9:17 AM
    • 167 Posts
    • 436 Thanks
    DMP_Tiger

    I'm actually thinking about doing a self managed DMP as I like the idea of being able to make overpayments and getting the debt down a little quicker. I've sat down and done my budget for the next 3 months where I am only offering £1 token payments and I think I'll be able to get a good emergency fund together whilst being able to get my daughter's school uniform. I also want to get a few other pots together for a clothing fund, Christmas fund and treat fund so will try and get as much in each so I can start this DMP with some savings behind me.
    Originally posted by backandevenmorebroke
    Just wanted to share with you my experience of beginning my DMP as it might help a little.

    I did my budget with Stepchange and received an application pack and reference number. I told SC that I wanted to build an emergency fund by paying £1 per month and begin properly in October. They said that they wouldn't start looking after my DMP until it began properly and to send them the signed application when I'm ready but in the meantime to call them if I needed any help.

    So at this moment I'm self managing the set-up of my DMP but using Stepchange's name and my DMP reference number as a little bit of back-up. I think that by the time my DMP starts properly in October, I will have learnt enough and got far enough so I can self manage. But at this moment, I feel like I have a little backing and help from SC if I need it.
Welcome to our new Forum!

Our aim is to save you money quickly and easily. We hope you like it!

Forum Team Contact us

Live Stats

921Posts Today

6,899Users online

Martin's Twitter