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  • FIRST POST
    • Sligo Smokey
    • By Sligo Smokey 10th Jun 18, 1:34 PM
    • 19Posts
    • 3Thanks
    Sligo Smokey
    Do you gift your grandchildren when one daughter has no children?
    • #1
    • 10th Jun 18, 1:34 PM
    Do you gift your grandchildren when one daughter has no children? 10th Jun 18 at 1:34 PM
    Hi All,
    until now we have only given cash gifts to our children but now that all our cherished grandchildren are nearly teenagers, we are wondering if we should include them.

    Problem is, one daughter and her husband have no children. She said she is quite happy for us to give gifts to our grandchildren but we still feel a little uncomfortable.

    We are a very close-knit family. I would welcome your ideas and explanations, please.

    Thank you,

    grandad sligo
Page 2
    • ska lover
    • By ska lover 12th Aug 18, 7:58 PM
    • 2,872 Posts
    • 7,088 Thanks
    ska lover
    Gifting to adult kids should be equal amounts into each household . Nevertheless if one of them has more kids than the other siblings. Just my thoughts but it does seem like penalising for not having kids

    My MIL spends fortunes on my SIL, holidays, etc....to be fair its not just money its time, spending most weekends there. But always claims poverty / too busy with the siblings who do not have kids
    The opposite of what you know...is also true
    • Jane_B
    • By Jane_B 15th Aug 18, 11:57 AM
    • 83 Posts
    • 31 Thanks
    Jane_B
    We had this issue in our family, my father was one of three, he had 2 children (myself and my brother) one aunt had 4 kids, and the other aunt none.

    The aunt with no children did feel a bit upset (reasonably or not) when it came to gifting a large chunk of money when I was around 23. My gran gave all grandchildren 20k each, my aunt felt this technically meant my fathers family got 40k and my other aunts family got 80k, whereas she had nothing.

    After this my nan gave the gifts to her children, and they then decided whether to pass this down to their kids (which they did) but it meant less upset all round.
    • pickledonionspaceraider
    • By pickledonionspaceraider 15th Aug 18, 1:21 PM
    • 1,264 Posts
    • 3,401 Thanks
    pickledonionspaceraider
    I know someone who has one child and their sibling has three - as the grandparent sees it as the parents own choice to have however many kids they had, and are intent on a 50/50 split of presents at xmas, between households


    For example...The person with one child - their child will get 150 spent on them at xmas


    The person with three kids, their children get 50 each spent on them at xmas


    Each to their own
    • happyandcontented
    • By happyandcontented 15th Aug 18, 6:40 PM
    • 1,562 Posts
    • 3,039 Thanks
    happyandcontented
    I think that birthday and Christmas gifts are one thing but when it comes to wills that can become an issue. My MIL has extended the substantial bequests down to great-grandchildren of which there are 4 on one side and none on the other.
    • Couldsavemore
    • By Couldsavemore 15th Oct 18, 7:49 PM
    • 19 Posts
    • 63 Thanks
    Couldsavemore
    I have 1 child, my sister has none.

    My parents buy my son presents.

    If the shoe was on the other foot... I'd be horrified if they didn't buy the child a present!

    Mind you.. my parents buy my dog a present... again sister is dogless and never comments.

    My parents buy her husband a present. I don't have a husband. I think it would be weird if they ignored him at christmas.
    • boliston
    • By boliston 15th Oct 18, 8:04 PM
    • 2,783 Posts
    • 2,356 Thanks
    boliston
    if it's large sums of money then it should be split evenly between siblings regardless of how many kids they have - someone should not gain a larger share of the family wealth just because they get 'sprogged up'
    • MrsStepford
    • By MrsStepford 16th Oct 18, 2:40 PM
    • 161 Posts
    • 329 Thanks
    MrsStepford
    When my maternal grandmother died, my brother and I got nothing. My uncle's ex-wife used a solicitor to write a letter to my grandmother's executor (my father) demanding that my cousins got a share of her estate. My father wrote back, explaining that my grandmother had divided her estate between her son and daughter only. My ex-aunt didn't like it but that was that.


    My mother says that she is dividing her estate between my brother and I. He has three daughters with first wife and two-stepdaughters. As they reach 18 my mother stops buying presents for them. They aren't hard done by because all the parents, grandparents, step-parents and step grandparents have all given them presents and have had a whipround for (a) cars (b) gap year travels. My mother says they are spoiled and never say thank you for anything.
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