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  • FIRST POST
    • Nessienoo888
    • By Nessienoo888 4th Jun 18, 7:16 AM
    • 1Posts
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    Nessienoo888
    Charging your 18 year old rent
    • #1
    • 4th Jun 18, 7:16 AM
    Charging your 18 year old rent 4th Jun 18 at 7:16 AM
    My daughter has recently turned 18 and just finishing college. Her boyfriend whoís the same age, also lives with us and has done for almost 2 years. I also have a 15 year old son.

    I receive maintenance from the childrenís dad but this will stop on my daughters side of things soon. She also has a part time job. So does her boyfriend.

    My daughter is going to university but will be staying at home. She will receive the maintenance that I received from her dad to help her with car and other costs. She has also applied for a student maintenance loan. So all in all she will have a fair amount of money coming in her bank. She is willing to pay rent but I just canít decide how much. Bills are fairly high and I still have a mortgage.. how much is fair? Iíll be losing both hers and her boyfriends child benefit but I pay her boyfriends child benefit back to him. Do I suggest to charge both my daughter and boyfriend. Hopefully once finished college he will get an apprenticeship in software development in London.

    Itís a really hard decision but I feel it will teach them the cost of living plus how to manage their finances.

    Anyoneís experiences will be appreciated.

    Thank you !!!128591;
Page 1
    • Owain Moneysaver
    • By Owain Moneysaver 4th Jun 18, 11:06 AM
    • 8,638 Posts
    • 9,852 Thanks
    Owain Moneysaver
    • #2
    • 4th Jun 18, 11:06 AM
    • #2
    • 4th Jun 18, 11:06 AM
    Starting point is how much could you let the room for to a lodger / how much would your daughter have to pay to lodge somewhere else?

    Then probably negotiate around 2/3rds of that.
    A kind word lasts a minute, a skelped erse is sair for a day.
    • bengalknights
    • By bengalknights 4th Jun 18, 11:12 AM
    • 4,440 Posts
    • 1,627 Thanks
    bengalknights
    • #3
    • 4th Jun 18, 11:12 AM
    • #3
    • 4th Jun 18, 11:12 AM
    Go for 65% of market rate of the room
    • silvercar
    • By silvercar 4th Jun 18, 3:24 PM
    • 37,941 Posts
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    silvercar
    • #4
    • 4th Jun 18, 3:24 PM
    • #4
    • 4th Jun 18, 3:24 PM
    Many threads on the main marriage, family etc board discussing this.

    Answers vary between charge nothing as why do you want to profit from your children to charge them full lodger rate so they understand the meaning of money.
    • Spendless
    • By Spendless 4th Jun 18, 10:05 PM
    • 20,361 Posts
    • 33,834 Thanks
    Spendless
    • #5
    • 4th Jun 18, 10:05 PM
    • #5
    • 4th Jun 18, 10:05 PM
    How much maintenance loan will she receive? My son is the same age, finishing college soon and hopefully going to Uni. He will get the min loan due to our household income. We are paying my son's accommodation costs for him. If he were to live at home I wouldn't charge him due to his smaller loan. If he was to receive a larger loan though, then yes I would charge. The boyfriend should also contribute once he finishes college.
    • Robots
    • By Robots 23rd Jul 18, 11:03 AM
    • 68 Posts
    • 974 Thanks
    Robots
    • #6
    • 23rd Jul 18, 11:03 AM
    • #6
    • 23rd Jul 18, 11:03 AM
    It's really down to how good or bad your finances are - can you afford to fully support her? If not, then you should ask her to pay board. If you can afford it, then it may be a good idea for you to help her out by not asking for board.

    I had to pay board to my mother which accounted for about 40% of my income at the time - she couldn't afford to keep me (as an adult) so I think it was fair.
    Veteran gamer and clean freak
    • DrivingMissDaisy
    • By DrivingMissDaisy 9th Aug 18, 9:40 PM
    • 52 Posts
    • 35 Thanks
    DrivingMissDaisy
    • #7
    • 9th Aug 18, 9:40 PM
    • #7
    • 9th Aug 18, 9:40 PM
    Charge both her and her bf the maintenance amount you used to receive.
    • Comms69
    • By Comms69 10th Aug 18, 2:24 PM
    • 4,902 Posts
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    Comms69
    • #8
    • 10th Aug 18, 2:24 PM
    • #8
    • 10th Aug 18, 2:24 PM
    I would charge but I would take half and put it into savings for her/them.
    • cjdavies
    • By cjdavies 19th Aug 18, 11:36 AM
    • 3,580 Posts
    • 3,886 Thanks
    cjdavies
    • #9
    • 19th Aug 18, 11:36 AM
    • #9
    • 19th Aug 18, 11:36 AM
    I would charge but I would take half and put it into savings for her/them.
    Originally posted by Comms69
    Why do people suggest this? Are they not capable of saving themselves?
    • HampshireH
    • By HampshireH 19th Aug 18, 2:21 PM
    • 982 Posts
    • 1,125 Thanks
    HampshireH
    If you have been giving the boyfriend his Child Benefit back to him are you 100% paying for his living costs for the last 2 years?

    He is a very lucky young man to have such support.

    I would charge them the going rate for a room in your area (between them) leave it to them to decide what % each of them pays. I.e. who earns more pays more.
    • fibonarchie
    • By fibonarchie 19th Aug 18, 4:35 PM
    • 904 Posts
    • 1,551 Thanks
    fibonarchie
    Her income is a loan, which she has to pay back, so it seems unfair to treat this as a 'cash-cow'. Your financial difficulties are not your children's problem (sorry if this sounds a bit harsh). If you must charge her, it should be just a token amount.
    Signature Removed by Forum Team ..thanks to somebody reporting a witty and decades-old Kenny Everett quote as 'offensive'!!
    • PrettyKittyKat
    • By PrettyKittyKat 22nd Aug 18, 4:51 PM
    • 731 Posts
    • 678 Thanks
    PrettyKittyKat
    As she's staying at home for uni her loan is likely to be very small, however you can consider what living costs she has out of this which will be substantially lower than if she lived in halls. Does she need to pay her tuition out of her maintenance loan or has she got a tuition loan also?

    When I lived at home during uni my Dad didn't charge me any rent and bought all food shopping (although I tended to buy lots myself too). He began charging me rent once i was in full time employment after uni. However, if you are not financially able to do this then it is understandable that you may need to ask for a contribution.

    Things to consider
    - will your daughter and bf be buying their own food?
    - what is the amount of maintenance you will no longer be receiving which will be going to your daughter instead? (she has a part time job to pay for her car and associated costs so maybe a proportion of this?)
    - What difference in utilities cost is there from the extra 2 people living in your home?


    Of course you don't want to be getting yourself in to debt with the loss of the maintenance and still trying to support your daughter and bf, however equally you don't want to overcharge your daughter and bf which leaves them in the position where they have the work more hours etc and may neglect their uni work. Sadly there is no right or wrong amount as it is dependant on individual circumstances.
    • Thomasmummy
    • By Thomasmummy 29th Aug 18, 9:08 PM
    • 2 Posts
    • 5 Thanks
    Thomasmummy
    Feeling like a mean mother here.....

    My daughter is 15 and has a part time job, she has the option to cycle to/from but often asks me to take her, so I charge her fuel money....the point being to teach her that asking mum's taxi is not a free/easy option. I also won't buy her anything she doesn't 'need' so make up, extra shoes, things like that.

    When she turns 16 my income will drop by 10% so I have told her that I will be expecting her to contribute by way of rent at that point.

    My plan once she's 18, is that she would contribute the going % of her income towards household finances. I think it's utterly pointless not charging children rent when they are of a means to finance themselves. The sooner they learn, the softer blow it is in the real world.....if they choose to go to uni then finances should be a consideration of THEIRS before they decide to go. They have to grow up some time ��
    • annandale
    • By annandale 15th Sep 18, 11:51 PM
    • 1,224 Posts
    • 2,788 Thanks
    annandale
    You charge your 15 year old daughter fuel money and are going to charge her rent when she is 16? Wow. On part time job earnings. Poor kid
    • happyandcontented
    • By happyandcontented 16th Sep 18, 12:15 AM
    • 1,546 Posts
    • 3,005 Thanks
    happyandcontented
    Feeling like a mean mother here.....

    My daughter is 15 and has a part time job, she has the option to cycle to/from but often asks me to take her, so I charge her fuel money....the point being to teach her that asking mum's taxi is not a free/easy option. I also won't buy her anything she doesn't 'need' so make up, extra shoes, things like that.

    When she turns 16 my income will drop by 10% so I have told her that I will be expecting her to contribute by way of rent at that point.

    My plan once she's 18, is that she would contribute the going % of her income towards household finances. I think it's utterly pointless not charging children rent when they are of a means to finance themselves. The sooner they learn, the softer blow it is in the real world.....if they choose to go to uni then finances should be a consideration of THEIRS before they decide to go. They have to grow up some time ��
    Originally posted by Thomasmummy
    Not a great incentive to work!
    • dawyldthing
    • By dawyldthing 16th Sep 18, 10:48 AM
    • 3,055 Posts
    • 3,025 Thanks
    dawyldthing
    I think it’s fair, the kid would have to pay the bus to work. If she’s still studying at 16 child benefit would continue. If not then a bit of a contribution is fair
    roll on end of April 2019 *12 done* = *28 to go*
    • happyandcontented
    • By happyandcontented 16th Sep 18, 10:53 AM
    • 1,546 Posts
    • 3,005 Thanks
    happyandcontented
    I think itís fair, the kid would have to pay the bus to work. If sheís still studying at 16 child benefit would continue. If not then a bit of a contribution is fair
    Originally posted by dawyldthing
    You have to be in 'training or education' till 18 now.
    • Spendless
    • By Spendless 16th Sep 18, 5:59 PM
    • 20,361 Posts
    • 33,834 Thanks
    Spendless
    Feeling like a mean mother here.....

    My daughter is 15 and has a part time job, she has the option to cycle to/from but often asks me to take her, so I charge her fuel money....the point being to teach her that asking mum's taxi is not a free/easy option. I also won't buy her anything she doesn't 'need' so make up, extra shoes, things like that.

    When she turns 16 my income will drop by 10% so I have told her that I will be expecting her to contribute by way of rent at that point.

    My plan once she's 18, is that she would contribute the going % of her income towards household finances. I think it's utterly pointless not charging children rent when they are of a means to finance themselves. The sooner they learn, the softer blow it is in the real world.....if they choose to go to uni then finances should be a consideration of THEIRS before they decide to go. They have to grow up some time ��
    Originally posted by Thomasmummy
    Why will your income drop when she's 16? You will still be entitled to the same child related benefit top ups whilst she's in Secondary school/FE.
    Last edited by Spendless; 16-09-2018 at 6:11 PM.
    • Freysmum
    • By Freysmum 16th Sep 18, 7:04 PM
    • 200 Posts
    • 1,379 Thanks
    Freysmum
    Feeling like a mean mother here.....

    My daughter is 15 and has a part time job, she has the option to cycle to/from but often asks me to take her, so I charge her fuel money....the point being to teach her that asking mum's taxi is not a free/easy option. I also won't buy her anything she doesn't 'need' so make up, extra shoes, things like that.

    When she turns 16 my income will drop by 10% so I have told her that I will be expecting her to contribute by way of rent at that point.

    My plan once she's 18, is that she would contribute the going % of her income towards household finances. I think it's utterly pointless not charging children rent when they are of a means to finance themselves. The sooner they learn, the softer blow it is in the real world.....if they choose to go to uni then finances should be a consideration of THEIRS before they decide to go. They have to grow up some time ��
    Originally posted by Thomasmummy
    I’m shocked anyone agrees with this post. My daughter is 15 and whilst she would like to have a job her priorities are studying for her GCSEs and extra curricular school activities plus the 4 hour homework every night. As for charging fuel money, jeez really?
    Last edited by Freysmum; 16-09-2018 at 8:18 PM.
    Mortgage 10/2018 £23,150
    EF savings £31,000/£40,000
    • Comms69
    • By Comms69 26th Sep 18, 2:28 PM
    • 4,902 Posts
    • 4,913 Thanks
    Comms69
    Feeling like a mean mother here.....

    My daughter is 15 and has a part time job, she has the option to cycle to/from but often asks me to take her, so I charge her fuel money....the point being to teach her that asking mum's taxi is not a free/easy option. I also won't buy her anything she doesn't 'need' so make up, extra shoes, things like that.

    When she turns 16 my income will drop by 10% so I have told her that I will be expecting her to contribute by way of rent at that point.

    My plan once she's 18, is that she would contribute the going % of her income towards household finances. I think it's utterly pointless not charging children rent when they are of a means to finance themselves. The sooner they learn, the softer blow it is in the real world.....if they choose to go to uni then finances should be a consideration of THEIRS before they decide to go. They have to grow up some time ��
    Originally posted by Thomasmummy
    Perhaps you need to take a look at your own earnings....
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