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  • FIRST POST
    • Onefortheroad
    • By Onefortheroad 21st May 18, 12:58 PM
    • 44Posts
    • 121Thanks
    Onefortheroad
    Change is gonna come....
    • #1
    • 21st May 18, 12:58 PM
    Change is gonna come.... 21st May 18 at 12:58 PM
    Hello everyone, newbie here

    I have been looking at these diary pages for months, even years, with a view to getting my act together and making myself accountable. I've racked up debt - 10k's worth. I have learned that wanting something now and paying over the odds for it by a loan or credit card just doesn't work, financially or emotionally... for the first time I have prepared a budget and will stick to it. I am so determined to get out of this mess I can feel a brand new me coming on (go me!). I have contacted Stepchange and have been on a dmp with them since March this year - will clear the debt in just under three years all being well. I am hoping this diary will keep me on the straight and narrow. It would also be good to have people to talk to - I'm a bit of a loner and have no friends to lean on..


    That's it for now, just wanted to say hello and that I congratulate you all with your efforts to get rid of the debt.
Page 4
    • Onefortheroad
    • By Onefortheroad 19th Aug 18, 8:16 PM
    • 44 Posts
    • 121 Thanks
    Onefortheroad
    Didn't sleep well at all last night, kept thinking about work and money. The letters from my creditors were playing on my mind. But today I watched a film like I hoped to be able to do and the weather has been good down here which does make a difference. I'll be glad to get the first hour of work behind me tomorrow, I always wonder what I'm walking back into when I've been away. After an hour it usually feels like I've not had any time off at all, so roll on 9.30am.
    Will be letter writing tomorrow lunchtime but also have to nip into town quick.
    I would really like to find some work to do from home just to bring in a few extra pennies - trouble is there are so many scams out there I wouldn't know where to start.
    On another subject I have started to notice how flippant my dd is getting. She is 16 and starting college soon. Every now and again she talks to me in such a way that really gets my goat. She is a good girl and it may be she's getting anxious about her GCSE results - whatever the reason I'm not impressed but am prepared to cut her some slack. Saying that, I wouldn't want to be 16 again.
    • beanielou
    • By beanielou 19th Aug 18, 9:25 PM
    • 57,981 Posts
    • 238,587 Thanks
    beanielou
    When does your DD get her results?
    Would not for all the money want to be 16 years old again.
    Lou~ Debt free Wanabe No 55 DF 03/03/14.
    **Credit card debt free 30/06/10~** **Weight loss 2 stone 12 lbs **

    "A large income is the best recipe for happiness I ever heard of" Jane Austen in Mansfield Park.
    ***Fall down seven times,stand up eight*** ~~Japanese proverb.
    It starts with you, it starts from now. *** It is ok to be me.***
    ***Keep plodding***
    Out of debt, out of danger. MFW 2018. No 144
    • Onefortheroad
    • By Onefortheroad 19th Aug 18, 9:37 PM
    • 44 Posts
    • 121 Thanks
    Onefortheroad
    Hello Beanielou, results day is Thursday coming. 10 am in the school hall - dd will be there with her friends. I've booked the day off work but am not allowed to go near the school. So I will be waiting at home for her - anxiously. I've given her the pep talk of if they're not what you're expecting it's okay etc but I have faith all will be good. It's been a hard line to draw - being supportive whilst not wanting to put the pressure on but of course I want her to do well. She has not had the best of years this last year and has developed a rather depressive and anxious side to her. I'm sure it's her age and circumstances but is something to keep an eye on.
    • beanielou
    • By beanielou 19th Aug 18, 9:45 PM
    • 57,981 Posts
    • 238,587 Thanks
    beanielou
    Hello Beanielou, results day is Thursday coming. 10 am in the school hall - dd will be there with her friends. I've booked the day off work but am not allowed to go near the school. So I will be waiting at home for her - anxiously. I've given her the pep talk of if they're not what you're expecting it's okay etc but I have faith all will be good. It's been a hard line to draw - being supportive whilst not wanting to put the pressure on but of course I want her to do well. She has not had the best of years this last year and has developed a rather depressive and anxious side to her. I'm sure it's her age and circumstances but is something to keep an eye on.
    Originally posted by Onefortheroad
    Such a difficult age especially now.
    So much pressure sadly.
    Lou~ Debt free Wanabe No 55 DF 03/03/14.
    **Credit card debt free 30/06/10~** **Weight loss 2 stone 12 lbs **

    "A large income is the best recipe for happiness I ever heard of" Jane Austen in Mansfield Park.
    ***Fall down seven times,stand up eight*** ~~Japanese proverb.
    It starts with you, it starts from now. *** It is ok to be me.***
    ***Keep plodding***
    Out of debt, out of danger. MFW 2018. No 144
    • Onefortheroad
    • By Onefortheroad 20th Aug 18, 8:55 PM
    • 44 Posts
    • 121 Thanks
    Onefortheroad
    Back to work today and I knew it would feel like I'd never been away. Still, it makes you look forward to taking time off i suppose.

    Phone calls from creditors - arrgghh - so didn't write my letters in the end. Was fed up with it all. Went for a walk at lunchtime instead, was lovely but boy so warm. Mind you not sure if it's the weather or my age (if you know what I mean).

    Early night tonight now I'm back in work mode.
    • jwil
    • By jwil 21st Aug 18, 12:21 PM
    • 9,206 Posts
    • 29,297 Thanks
    jwil
    When you write to your creditors tell them you will only correspond in writing and request that they do not contact you by phone. They have to comply, and it's caused me no issues. I always respond promptly if they write with any queries.
    "If you can dream it, you can do it". Walt Disney
    • Onefortheroad
    • By Onefortheroad 29th Aug 18, 12:36 PM
    • 44 Posts
    • 121 Thanks
    Onefortheroad
    DD had good news on her GCSE results - and I am so pleased for her, she has worked hard, and it hasn't all been plain sailing - she has really suffered mentally over this past 18 months or so, she seems so low at times - falling out with friends, not being very sociable, withdrawn, quiet, prefers time in her bedroom etc., I am worried there is something going on, but then I think she is 16 - isn't this what 16 year olds are like? She is having counselling sessions now and I am hopeful she will pick up some coping mechanisms from them.


    Debt news - loads of letters, emails etc from creditors - not sure what's happened but they've all contacted me. I have buckled and gone back to Stepchange - honestly, I just can't deal with it on my own - even though I know I'm doing all I can and believe me, I have tried to deal with it all like a business arrangement, but it's taking it's toll on me again and I'm getting het up about it. Maybe because I'm worried about DD. I know I was more content when Stepchange were dealing with it all last time for me and that's where I want to be again. First payment with them coming out on 1 October so creditors will still get increased payment in November like I said they would.


    Domestic news - I was staring at my internal doors and skirting boards the other day, not like in a trance, more like 'when did they get so grubby?' I got the sponge, a bucket of water and one of my many cloths and I cleaned all my doors downstairs and the skirting in the hallway - looks so good now, as if it's been repainted - happy me.


    Work news - not so happy me.... new job's a bit up in the air at the moment, not sure if I feel like I'm making a difference yet. I know I need to let things settle down and I will find my way.


    And breathe....
    • Onefortheroad
    • By Onefortheroad 30th Aug 18, 12:37 PM
    • 44 Posts
    • 121 Thanks
    Onefortheroad
    I have heard from Stepchange today, DMP all set up again and first payment due out on 1 October - I feel so relieved - they have contacted all my creditors and I'm basically back to where I started a few months ago but I've learnt a lot of lessons along the way - most importantly not to panic at blips in the road as everything can be sorted. I am a good one for the classic knee-jerk reaction and obviously wasn't ready for self-management.


    After I posted yesterday I spoke to my boss about my job - turns out I'm doing a great job and everything is good - which I was pleased to hear. I guess, like anyone, I go through times of self-doubt which gets worse when you have a lot on your mind.


    Been thinking about colour to paint my bedroom, I am drawn naturally to light mauve but thinking also maybe Champagne, and having it all a bit more neutral. Will consider this again later when I'm at home.


    I have a couple of meetings this afternoon so that will eat up the day and then meeting by DD - she is coming into town to meet me from work tonight.
    • jwil
    • By jwil 30th Aug 18, 1:04 PM
    • 9,206 Posts
    • 29,297 Thanks
    jwil
    Well done to DD

    There's nothing wrong with getting Stepchange to do the hard work, it's something less you need to think about.

    I know what you mean about the paintwork, it's amazing how filthy it gets!
    "If you can dream it, you can do it". Walt Disney
    • Onefortheroad
    • By Onefortheroad 31st Aug 18, 1:05 PM
    • 44 Posts
    • 121 Thanks
    Onefortheroad
    Thanks jwill - DD is pleased with her results.


    I have the house to myself this evening, and looking forward to the peace and quiet. Don't get me wrong, I enjoy the company of others but also long for those times when I can just sit quiet and do my own thing


    I am leaving work a little earlier today as well, so will make sure I get on and do the washing etc., I may even go shopping tonight, would normally do it tomorrow but am feeling that I would like to get it out of the way. I will then be able to sit down and relax.


    I haven't replaced the freezer yet - this has made me shop differently, I only now buy things that I know are going to get eaten during the week, fresh meat etc., and also, I'm not buying stuff covered in batter or breadcrumbs anymore - doing it this way has saved me money as well.
    • Onefortheroad
    • By Onefortheroad 31st Aug 18, 6:26 PM
    • 44 Posts
    • 121 Thanks
    Onefortheroad
    Finish work early - tick
    Do shopping- tick
    One load of washing on the line - tick
    Another load being done now - tick
    Wash up tea time bits - in a minute ☺
    Cheeky glass of wine - tick (of course ��)
    Find a film to watch - next job

    I love lists
    • Onefortheroad
    • By Onefortheroad 2nd Sep 18, 8:40 PM
    • 44 Posts
    • 121 Thanks
    Onefortheroad
    What a beautiful day it's been. Spent this afternoon in the local park - huge big place it is - with dd just talking and taking things easy. It was good to be outside, there were loads of people there. It felt like time was standing still, I had almost forgotten what it felt like to just be in the moment, no pressure - lovely.

    Made my packed lunch for tomorrow to take to work - this is something I like to stick to - I really begrudge paying for sandwiches.

    Now it's time for a cuppa.��
    • Onefortheroad
    • By Onefortheroad 9th Sep 18, 5:16 PM
    • 44 Posts
    • 121 Thanks
    Onefortheroad
    Last week flew by, mind you, once the summer holidays are over it seems all down hill to Christmas (sorry . Only seems like five minutes ago we were waiting for DD's GCSE results and next week she starts college - she's doing some reading up already on one of her chosen subjects - Psychology - mmm, wonder if I should book a session with her to see if she can explain to me the way my brain works: rotfl:
    Waiting for 1 October when payment to Stepchange comes out, no contact from creditors which is just the way I like it.
    Woke up yesterday morning with a rather nasty cold - couldn't sleep at all last night, scratchy though, runny nose - you know how it goes. Have decided to take it easy today and treat myself to a bit of rest.
    I have decided it's time to do something about my weight. I'm joining slimming world. A couple of people at work have done this and are losing weight - slowly but surely. Trouble is, I like to see results straight away, I'm not very patient. But I do realise, like with the debt, nice and steady is the way to go and results will follow. I'm not going to mention it to anyone at work otherwise it turns into a bit of a oh, how much have you lost, kind of thing and I don't like that. They will just see a slimmer version of me evolve over time.
    Couple of days off work coming up - so what doesn't get done today indoors will get done soon - it will all still be waiting for me yay.
    • beanielou
    • By beanielou 9th Sep 18, 6:15 PM
    • 57,981 Posts
    • 238,587 Thanks
    beanielou
    SW works well
    Lou~ Debt free Wanabe No 55 DF 03/03/14.
    **Credit card debt free 30/06/10~** **Weight loss 2 stone 12 lbs **

    "A large income is the best recipe for happiness I ever heard of" Jane Austen in Mansfield Park.
    ***Fall down seven times,stand up eight*** ~~Japanese proverb.
    It starts with you, it starts from now. *** It is ok to be me.***
    ***Keep plodding***
    Out of debt, out of danger. MFW 2018. No 144
    • Onefortheroad
    • By Onefortheroad 9th Sep 18, 8:23 PM
    • 44 Posts
    • 121 Thanks
    Onefortheroad
    I had been with SW before but wasn't in the right head space. I have all the books etc and know what to do, it's just doing it. Mind made up though am going to start on 1 Oct and run it along my Stepchange plan. Seeing the debt to down as the pounds drop off will be a real boost.
    • beanielou
    • By beanielou 9th Sep 18, 8:32 PM
    • 57,981 Posts
    • 238,587 Thanks
    beanielou
    I had been with SW before but wasn't in the right head space. I have all the books etc and know what to do, it's just doing it. Mind made up though am going to start on 1 Oct and run it along my Stepchange plan. Seeing the debt to down as the pounds drop off will be a real boost.
    Originally posted by Onefortheroad
    That will be good
    Lou~ Debt free Wanabe No 55 DF 03/03/14.
    **Credit card debt free 30/06/10~** **Weight loss 2 stone 12 lbs **

    "A large income is the best recipe for happiness I ever heard of" Jane Austen in Mansfield Park.
    ***Fall down seven times,stand up eight*** ~~Japanese proverb.
    It starts with you, it starts from now. *** It is ok to be me.***
    ***Keep plodding***
    Out of debt, out of danger. MFW 2018. No 144
    • Onefortheroad
    • By Onefortheroad 11th Sep 18, 9:33 AM
    • 44 Posts
    • 121 Thanks
    Onefortheroad
    All the waiting is over, DD's first day at college has arrived! She went off quite happy this morning. I thought I was feeling a little better yesterday evening but have got up today feeling weak and sweaty. I feel like all I want to do is sleep.
    Still off work luckily enough so will rest up again today and see how I go.
    I've been looking at my sitting room and have decided it needs a refresh. That's the trouble being at home - I always find something I want to change. Need to do some washing today and bits about the place.
    Can't wait to hear from DD .
    • Onefortheroad
    • By Onefortheroad 14th Sep 18, 2:00 PM
    • 44 Posts
    • 121 Thanks
    Onefortheroad
    Last night I went through my last months bank statement and was shocked to see that I have wasted well over 200 on odd little visits to the shops - local, expensive shops - and I've taken 30 out on various occasions over the last month and well, obviously I gave it to a stranger because I have no idea what it went on. I thought I had cut back on the shopping side of things, working out a budget and sticking to it, but as I get paid next week I find the week before payday I'm like, mmm, thought I had more money than that in the bank. Conscious effort now to stop those mindless withdrawals and visits to the shop. I know what it will be, I'll go in for milk - something I need, and come out with rolls, cake , fizzy drink (just in case), dish cloths etc etc.


    Nearly 1 October, and time for the first larger instalment to come out re debt busting . I can't wait, will really feel like I'm on my journey then.


    I am going to run my slimming world alongside this but have been eating a bit better already.
    • beanielou
    • By beanielou 14th Sep 18, 8:24 PM
    • 57,981 Posts
    • 238,587 Thanks
    beanielou
    The good thing is that you are aware of it now.
    So will be more aware of it now.
    Lou~ Debt free Wanabe No 55 DF 03/03/14.
    **Credit card debt free 30/06/10~** **Weight loss 2 stone 12 lbs **

    "A large income is the best recipe for happiness I ever heard of" Jane Austen in Mansfield Park.
    ***Fall down seven times,stand up eight*** ~~Japanese proverb.
    It starts with you, it starts from now. *** It is ok to be me.***
    ***Keep plodding***
    Out of debt, out of danger. MFW 2018. No 144
    • jwil
    • By jwil 17th Sep 18, 10:05 AM
    • 9,206 Posts
    • 29,297 Thanks
    jwil
    The good thing is that you are aware of it now.
    So will be more aware of it now.
    Originally posted by beanielou
    Agree with this. Good luck
    "If you can dream it, you can do it". Walt Disney
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