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  • FIRST POST
    • Bella39
    • By Bella39 17th May 18, 5:19 PM
    • 7Posts
    • 9Thanks
    Bella39
    10K and paying it off!
    • #1
    • 17th May 18, 5:19 PM
    10K and paying it off! 17th May 18 at 5:19 PM
    I can't believe I am doing this but I can't believe that I got into so much debt either. It all started two years ago when I and my partner bought our first home. We have two small children and we both work. He is on a much higher salary than me partly being due to me being unable to work full time (our son is disable). I work Monday to Friday school hours and I have my own freelance work too. Up to four months ago he was paying the mortgage (864 pounds) and I was paying the bills, food and children clothes, which of course was much more than nine hundred pounds. Obviously I couldn't meet ends and I ended up using the credit card for almost everything (apart for paying my eldest daughter her residence in University which was almost 6,000 pounds, her dad died years ago and she wasn't entitle to maintenance loan due to our combined household income).
    When I sat down and realised how much the debt was I got massively stressed, so scared, petrified. I felt paralysed. My partner doesn't know about my debt (our mortgage needs to be renewed in 5 years and we are not thinking in taking a loan or anything similar). I don't want to tell him as he would judge me and it would be the end of me. I do know that I should tell him but I really don't want to!.

    A few months ago I said to him that since I supported him in his studies and career and since he earns more than three times more than me he should contribute accordingly. He says that he still expects me to pay for the food, which I happily agreed to it.

    I have drawn a budget (quite realistic) and I worked out that after paying for groceries, my phone, my credit cards minimum payments, petrol, insurance and road tax I am left with almost 800 pounds a month. I have built up an emergency fund with just over 1,000 (I could do with more but is something!). I have joined the 1 debt vs 100 days for one of my credit cards which is 2,300 (now 2,135). I am determined to pay the three credit cards off as soon as possible but I still feel very anxious and scared, I feel ashamed of myself and I could only tell my sister and my best friend about it. I think this situation is making me depressed and I feel like I cannot function.

    I have set up a direct debit to one of them for 550 pounds a month instead the minimum amount and is slowly getting down but I can't help feeling so down.

    Is this normal? Do you think that my plan is doable?

    I am so happy I found this forum...
Page 1
    • supersaver1000
    • By supersaver1000 17th May 18, 7:55 PM
    • 2,052 Posts
    • 12,758 Thanks
    supersaver1000
    • #2
    • 17th May 18, 7:55 PM
    • #2
    • 17th May 18, 7:55 PM
    Welcome Bella and good luck!

    I did a similar thing with a credit card at the end of last year/earlier this year, it so easily builds up. I didn't let onto OH either because I have a plan to pay it off now.

    Its disappointing because I got the existing credit cards down from 23k to 5k so I've done a bit of a boomerang. So I've now had my second LBM and I'm doing the grocery challenge to keep grocery shopping to a minimum and pay the rest off the cards. I've also joined the pay all your debts off by Xmas thread - it will be a struggle, but I'm going to try my hardest to get it all paid off by then.

    I've even sold a few things on fb and ebay - things that I otherwise might have given away, even just a few pounds helps a lot.

    I know exactly how you feel, it can really get you down - that's really normal, but just having a plan feels like a relief and every step you will feel so much better.

    ps - I'm sure you know already, but just in case, there's a lot of information on here about credit cards and paying off the high interest ones first. Mine are both on 0% so I'm saving the extra payments into a saver account until the final payments are due.
    Last edited by supersaver1000; 17-05-2018 at 7:57 PM. Reason: adding stuff
    CCs (32% paid) - target Feb2019 Xmas 2018 : Returner Flylady : Grocery club member
    It's not getting what you want, it's wanting what you've got
    (being satisfied with your lot and making the most of it)
    • Bella39
    • By Bella39 17th May 18, 8:38 PM
    • 7 Posts
    • 9 Thanks
    Bella39
    • #3
    • 17th May 18, 8:38 PM
    • #3
    • 17th May 18, 8:38 PM
    Oh thank you. I wouldn't want anybody to be in the same situation but it feels good when someone who is or has been in the situation gives you reassurance.

    The funny thing is I have always been good with money so being in this situation is really killing me.

    I transferred the full balance to three 0% cards so I am paying first the one which interest deal will finish first. I didn't think it was a good idea to consolidate the 10K when I can move the balances around without paying interest.

    I really suffer when I think about this so I am on the forum all the time now!

    Thank you and good luck! X
    • beanielou
    • By beanielou 17th May 18, 10:11 PM
    • 53,942 Posts
    • 213,735 Thanks
    beanielou
    • #4
    • 17th May 18, 10:11 PM
    • #4
    • 17th May 18, 10:11 PM
    Bella~~you are in the right place to get lots of support.
    Keep posting
    Lou~ Debt free Wanabe No 55 DF 03/03/14.
    **Credit card debt free 30/06/10~** **Weight loss 2 stone 11 lbs **

    "A large income is the best recipe for happiness I ever heard of" Jane Austen in Mansfield Park.
    ***Fall down seven times,stand up eight*** ~~Japanese proverb.
    It starts with you, it starts from now. *** It is ok to be me.***
    ***Keep plodding***
    Out of debt, out of danger.
    • Bella39
    • By Bella39 17th May 18, 10:21 PM
    • 7 Posts
    • 9 Thanks
    Bella39
    • #5
    • 17th May 18, 10:21 PM
    • #5
    • 17th May 18, 10:21 PM
    Thank you.. I am so glad I found you all. I am doing a little piece of work and I will get paid 330 which is going straight to repay the CC, plus the 550 once I get paid. To be honest I am enjoying making payments!
    • pidge04
    • By pidge04 18th May 18, 4:24 AM
    • 121 Posts
    • 116 Thanks
    pidge04
    • #6
    • 18th May 18, 4:24 AM
    • #6
    • 18th May 18, 4:24 AM
    It is great that you are able to pay 550 chunks off each month. So motivating to see the debt decreasing each other like that!

    And great too that you have 1000 EF.

    Good luck with everything!
    CC1 2400/1721 CC2 3000/2589 LOAN 13,000/5916
    • supersaver1000
    • By supersaver1000 18th May 18, 8:22 AM
    • 2,052 Posts
    • 12,758 Thanks
    supersaver1000
    • #7
    • 18th May 18, 8:22 AM
    • #7
    • 18th May 18, 8:22 AM
    Sounds like you are doing really well.

    I was always really good with money and still am. It was my OH that wasn't, and unfortunately even though I tried to manage our budget I wasn't in complete control of the expenditure.

    I spent several years trying to juggle OH's spending - unfortunately the more he earned the more he spent so despite several huge payrises we never managed to get straight. And I ended up really stressed and depressed as I'd be saving a few pounds here and there and then he would just spend a couple of grand on something - it started to get desperate for me.

    I had a really big light bulb moment about it all a few years ago when I dropped my hours/salary and was going through a bad time and like you I came on here - thank you so much MSE. I got an iron grip on the budget - I gave OH about 300 a month to spend on himself and told him to leave the household budget alone.

    Its worked and has been such a relief and OH actually had his own light bulb moment about 2 years ago when he became SE. He's been having lots of little LBM's since and I think we have turned a corner (hopefully). Now he's SE I just take half the bills from him plus extra to pay off the old cards he ran up, but he is really good at using his own money for joint things now as well now and is (shock of shocks) actually saving.

    I've absolutely no idea how I spent so much on my 0% card but I know there was a big car repair, a few food spends when OH was going through a bad SE patch and just bits and pieces that so easily add up. Its my wake up call though and won't be happening again. I had a bit of a break from MSE but am back now and although I probably won't be posting as much I will be popping in very regularly.

    Sorry for the long post, it felt really good to think about what's happened over the last few years. I can't believe how down and depressed I was and how I've made it through.

    Keep going Bella you will do it and hope you don't mind me joining you on that journey.
    CCs (32% paid) - target Feb2019 Xmas 2018 : Returner Flylady : Grocery club member
    It's not getting what you want, it's wanting what you've got
    (being satisfied with your lot and making the most of it)
    • fatrab
    • By fatrab 18th May 18, 8:41 AM
    • 835 Posts
    • 1,906 Thanks
    fatrab
    • #8
    • 18th May 18, 8:41 AM
    • #8
    • 18th May 18, 8:41 AM
    Best of luck on your journey Bella!


    I know what you mean about feeling down when you're staring at this mountain of debt to begin with, but as you start to pay it off, and you can see your total drop (especially as it passes through certain milestones) it gets easier.


    Initially I hated the feeling of having to sit there in-between paydays as I felt like the interest was mounting and I wasn't making a difference. Now I look forward to allocating my surplus and seeing the totals reduce. I update my SOA a few times a month and use it as a budgeting tool. If you've not already done one I'd highly recommend it, I found it much better than the spread sheet I was working to.
    http://www.stoozing.com/calculator/soa.php


    I look forward to hearing about your progress
    You can have results or excuses, but not both.
    May's targets - Lose 1 stone - 6lbs off, 21/31 AFDs, 13/18 lunches.
    37 x 2 coins (#32) - Wannabe debt free by Dec 2022
    • Bella39
    • By Bella39 18th May 18, 3:33 PM
    • 7 Posts
    • 9 Thanks
    Bella39
    • #9
    • 18th May 18, 3:33 PM
    • #9
    • 18th May 18, 3:33 PM
    Thank you.. It looks like you all are doing great. I can't wait to have those cards at zero balance. I never had credit cards before and I will never have them again. I realised that I shouldn't need them!

    Makes me really sad that I don't feel like I can tell my partner. I don't think o should keep a secret like this but I don't think I have much choice. Sad really.

    I have a little diary where I write down every penny I spend, which is sooo little!

    Thank you all and this amazing forum!
    • a_silver_lining
    • By a_silver_lining 18th May 18, 7:16 PM
    • 219 Posts
    • 664 Thanks
    a_silver_lining
    Well done Bella

    I had a 10k debt (mine borrowed from family towards buying my flat) and am now half way there. I'm only playing 350pm towards it and then saving 300pm so I'll be debt free around this time next year, and you will be shortly after me it doesn't seem such a long slog really when you think of only a year passing. Good luck!
    19/12/14: Spent 10 years of savings!!
    ..... to buy my first home.

    2018: 1200 savings --- Family Loan (3250 direct + 1750 saver) 5000/10K paid 50%
    #38 1% Challenge: 514.70/ 2018, now at 25%!
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