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    • sstevo19
    • By sstevo19 16th May 18, 9:41 PM
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    sstevo19
    Tips on staying calm when very nervous
    • #1
    • 16th May 18, 9:41 PM
    Tips on staying calm when very nervous 16th May 18 at 9:41 PM
    Hi all, I'm hoping you guys could be of some help. I'm hoping this is in the right section.

    I've recently started having driving lessons after putting it off for a long time due to nerves. What doesn't help is I'm quite an anxious person normally. My instructor is lovely, very calm and patient, but I'm getting myself panicked before and during my lessons. But I am enjoying my lessons, strangely, and want to carry on with them.

    Is there any tips you guys could share some tips on what helps calm you down when your extremely nervous and panicked. I just want be calm for once.

    Thanks in advance.
Page 2
    • doingitanyway
    • By doingitanyway 27th May 18, 8:38 AM
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    doingitanyway
    When I was learning to drive, I found that one of the things that made me most nervous, was the thought of doing something “stupid” whilst on the road. I live in London, and when stalling at a roundabout, or taking more than 0.2 seconds to pull away at the lights, I’d be waiting for the inevitable horn blasting from an impatient driver behind me.

    My instructor was brilliant. As he would say.....”What’s the worst that’s going to happen?” Who cares if someone behind you is a minute late on their journey, they’ll soon make up the time. So what if you look like an idiot who stalls the car? Plenty of experienced drivers still do so!
    And yes, that line of cars behind you probably are cursing you and your slow driving, but they were all learners once, they’ll just have to be a bit patient for a change.

    I used the deep breathing technique when I had my tests. And oddly enough, once I got in the car with the examiner, I felt a bit better.....there’s no turning back at that point, you’ve just got to get on with it.

    It’s good to be slightly nervous, it shows that you’re taking your task seriously. Better that, than overconfidence. Good luck!
    Originally posted by barbiedoll
    A very helpful post. Thank you.
    Emergency fund 700/1000
    If not now then when?
    • sstevo19
    • By sstevo19 30th May 18, 10:09 AM
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    sstevo19
    I tried all of these tips yesterday and I was an absolute mess in my driving lesson yesterday. I tried to calm down and relax but I couldn't. I keep getting panicked. I've got a lesson on Monday, so I'm just going to try and forget about it and not dwell on it in between now and Monday.

    Why do I get so nervous?
    • findingthisdifficult
    • By findingthisdifficult 10th Jun 18, 4:21 PM
    • 24 Posts
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    findingthisdifficult
    How are you getting on now sstevo19?
    I used to get so nervous about my driving lessons, I started March 26th last year and passed my test first time 22nd November last year.
    I'm not confident at all, I did pass plus with my instructor in March but even now 7 months later I've barely driven by myself and when I have it's been 10-15 minute journeys. I'm kind of ok driving with my husband in the car but I still find it hard to transition from a small learner car to my focus.
    • sstevo19
    • By sstevo19 10th Jun 18, 5:17 PM
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    sstevo19
    How are you getting on now sstevo19?
    I used to get so nervous about my driving lessons, I started March 26th last year and passed my test first time 22nd November last year.
    I'm not confident at all, I did pass plus with my instructor in March but even now 7 months later I've barely driven by myself and when I have it's been 10-15 minute journeys. I'm kind of ok driving with my husband in the car but I still find it hard to transition from a small learner car to my focus.
    Originally posted by findingthisdifficult
    Thanks findingthisdifficult

    I had another lesson on the 4th, and it went a lot better. I was a lot calmer, as I hadn't been thinking about it too much. I'm trying not to think as much about it and it's helping. My last lesson was so much better as I wasn't as nervous and I was able to be nearly calm for most of it. I did still get a bit flustered occasionally.

    I have another lesson tomorrow so I'm hoping I'll be as calm as I was on the last one.
    • Alexxaa
    • By Alexxaa 4th Jul 18, 8:03 PM
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    Alexxaa
    Just breathe. This is always step one for me. Just take a few deep breaths and focus fully on them to calm down a bit.

    And also wake up with good thoughts!) If you wake up every morning and think about all the good things in your life to be grateful for, it’s easier to stay focused on the positive and stay happy!
    • sstevo19
    • By sstevo19 4th Jul 18, 8:33 PM
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    sstevo19
    Just breathe. This is always step one for me. Just take a few deep breaths and focus fully on them to calm down a bit.

    And also wake up with good thoughts!) If you wake up every morning and think about all the good things in your life to be grateful for, it’s easier to stay focused on the positive and stay happy!
    Originally posted by Alexxaa
    Thanks Alexxaa

    I'm getting along a bit better with staying calm. I've been trying to think positively about it lately, I'm doing this for myself and for my independence. My instructor actually commented on one lesson that I had calmed down a lot quicker than normal. I've just got to think positively
    • BigHead
    • By BigHead 7th Jul 18, 2:22 PM
    • 18 Posts
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    BigHead
    This might sound crazy but hear me out. Take your car to an empty large parking lot in any weather condition. The worst the weather the better this works. Set up some basic cones and make your own basic course. Make sure u are strapped in and there are no pedestrians. Now test the limitations of your car. Start easy and work your way up to sliding the car, locking up your brakes, spinning the wheels etc. (this is why rain or snow is best for this practice) you may feel like a hooligan at first but you are teaching yourself what your car will do in the worst case senecio. This is in the back of every new drivers mind. So put it out there and let your brain understand what will happen to the car. This could take some stress off your mind. Hope this helps.
    • building with lego
    • By building with lego 8th Jul 18, 5:05 PM
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    building with lego
    Chew gum.

    Your digestive system shuts down when you're in a heightened state of alert- fight or flight time- to let the blood fuel your muscles rather than your tum. If you chew gum you trick your brain into relaxing, since you are eating you can't possibly be nervous!

    I learnt to drive a few years ago, in my late 30s. I was able to explain my nervousness to my instructor who was great, but was absolutely bricking it before the last lesson and my test. I chewed gum like mad but it kept my nerves steady.

    Barbiedoll, my instructor used to say, "Well they'll just have to wait, won't they?!" when I stalled/ did a 27-point turn/ waited for a loooong gap etc. I still say it to myself now.
    They call me Dr Worm... I'm interested in things; I'm not a real doctor but I am a real worm.
    • sstevo19
    • By sstevo19 8th Jul 18, 5:39 PM
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    sstevo19
    Chew gum.

    Your digestive system shuts down when you're in a heightened state of alert- fight or flight time- to let the blood fuel your muscles rather than your tum. If you chew gum you trick your brain into relaxing, since you are eating you can't possibly be nervous!

    I learnt to drive a few years ago, in my late 30s. I was able to explain my nervousness to my instructor who was great, but was absolutely bricking it before the last lesson and my test. I chewed gum like mad but it kept my nerves steady.

    Barbiedoll, my instructor used to say, "Well they'll just have to wait, won't they?!" when I stalled/ did a 27-point turn/ waited for a loooong gap etc. I still say it to myself now.
    Originally posted by building with lego
    Thanks for the tip. I might try it.
    • Rita2456
    • By Rita2456 16th Jul 18, 5:14 PM
    • 13 Posts
    • 5 Thanks
    Rita2456
    i focus on my breathing and try to calm it down, allows me to take a step back and ask myself as to whether i need to be panicked in this situation
    • wuzzypoo
    • By wuzzypoo 25th Jul 18, 5:21 PM
    • 106 Posts
    • 58 Thanks
    wuzzypoo
    Have you tried tapping or hypnosis?

    You can get how to videos on you tube for both, they do work, honest. You may feel a bit of a plonker when you do the tapping but they work.

    I was petrified of dentist and for years either avoided going or got to worried I didn’t sleep for nights before my appointments, when I broke a tooth and needed it taking out I was horrified. I couldn’t wait to have it done under anaesthetic so I did some tapping and listened to hypnosis for 2 nights before tooth extraction and I had it done no dramas and not panic attack!!

    You can try them for nowt. !!!128578;
    • LilTerryWhite
    • By LilTerryWhite 6th Aug 18, 10:13 AM
    • 20 Posts
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    LilTerryWhite
    Same for me!
    • MrsStepford
    • By MrsStepford 6th Aug 18, 3:22 PM
    • 149 Posts
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    MrsStepford
    Bach's Rescue Remedy pastilles - sugar-free, alcohol free. Amazon or Holland & Barrett
    • sstevo19
    • By sstevo19 6th Aug 18, 4:22 PM
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    • 5,280 Thanks
    sstevo19
    Bach's Rescue Remedy pastilles - sugar-free, alcohol free. Amazon or Holland & Barrett
    Originally posted by MrsStepford
    Thanks for the suggestion. I've got the pastilles, the lozenges and the spray and it only seems to work for a few minutes. And the sugar free sweeteners normally make my nervous stomach worse, so I've stopped using them.
    • dellio
    • By dellio 13th Aug 18, 4:29 PM
    • 15 Posts
    • 3 Thanks
    dellio
    I'm a bit late to this thread, after being a lurker for some time without ever signing in!



    Anyway, I just wanted to share a few anecdotes with you. After a few lessons with my first instructor, and after stalling a million times at a particular junction, I was told 'I don't think driving is for you'.

    I would get so worked up and upset every time I went out in the car my head would pound. The instructor informed me there was 'nothing wrong' with never learning to drive and that it's 'safer for everyone' if 'people like me' weren't on the roads. For real. She advised me that 'eating bananas are good for nerves'.



    I got a second instructor who was brilliant. He was very patient and put me at ease. I really do think this is the key. I'm a crazy anxious person, I manage to just about curb my social anxiety. I found by vocalising how I'm feeling (at every opportunity!) it helped me get a grip in the situation. There were times he had to tell me to shut up.



    On the day of my test, I reversed into a bush. THIS WAS ME PARKING UP READY FOR THE TEST!!!

    I somehow managed to pass! I echo everyone else who has said you need to push yourself in order to improve your confidence. I truly believe that you don't become a confident driver until you have passed your test. And bloody hell, if I can do it, anyone can. I am STILL nervous driving on unfamiliar roads and don't even talk to me about motorways. You have to be realistic and really pinpoint what it is exactly that is making you nervous.



    On another note, my sister dosed on Kalms tablets the day of her test but they made her drowsy. So drowsy that the examiner failed her because her speeds were akin to someone who was driving a hearse! She has since passed her test.



    Good luck, get out there!
    • sstevo19
    • By sstevo19 13th Aug 18, 6:47 PM
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    sstevo19
    Thanks dellio

    My instructor is lovely and patient. I think my nerves get the best of me most of the time so I mess up. But I will pass my test. If I can control my nerves, I do well. But if I can't, I don't do as well. I've actually had a motorway lesson about a month ago and it was actually alright, pretty nerve wracking at first, but I settled down by the end of it.

    On my last lesson I was a nervous wreck. I had a mock driving test, and I wanted to be sick minutes into it. I'm finally going to commit to using Headspace to try and stay calm in my lessons.

    I'll get there eventually.
    • dellio
    • By dellio 14th Aug 18, 3:43 PM
    • 15 Posts
    • 3 Thanks
    dellio
    I totally recommend Headspace!



    Don't forget to come back and let us know when you have passed
    • sstevo19
    • By sstevo19 14th Aug 18, 8:15 PM
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    sstevo19
    Thanks dellio I'll definitely let yous know when I've passed my test, I think I may shout it from the rooftops, haha

    My driving lesson today actually went a lot better than my previous one. I used Headspace last night and for a minute or two this morning before my lesson, and it helped
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