Co-own a house with my ex-gf - 'moving new gf in' questions

FBaby · 16 May 2018 at 3:58PM

The house has become nothing but an investment to her. She sees your girlfriend as nothing more than a lodger. Realistically, how much would a lodger pay for the share of a house, and then you should divide by two what should go to your ex.

Ultimately, she doesn't have to agree to anything you suggest but it could get very messy if your girlfriend moves in with your agreement. Not sure the police could do anything. It is very messy though. How about you put the house for rental, share the rental between you and ex and you move with girlfriend elsewhere until you agree with ex it is a good time to sell?

Fosterdog · 16 May 2018 at 3:59PM

By moving the new girlfriend in and her paying rent could also give her a beneficial interest in the property which will make things even more complicated in the long run.

hazyjo · 16 May 2018 at 4:01PM

Fosterdog wrote: »

By moving the new girlfriend in and her paying rent could also give her a beneficial interest in the property which will make things even more complicated in the long run.

Very unlikely. Especially if it is such a small amount and she's not contributing to the mortgage or major works.

Fosterdog · 16 May 2018 at 4:11PM

hazyjo wrote: »

Very unlikely. Especially if it is such a small amount and she's not contributing to the mortgage or major works.

Of course it's contributing to the mortgage, even if indirectly, the ex's half of the mortgage is £280 p/m, she wants to charge the new gf £350 p/m. That is paying her half of the mortgage plus £70 leftover. If OP owned the house on his own and moved the girlfriend in and charged her the same she could claim beneficial interests so I wouldn't be so quick to say it's unlikely just because there's another person involved, plus we don't know if she would also be contributing to bills on top of "rent".

Tom99 · 17 May 2018 at 2:09AM

[FONT=Verdana, sans-serif]I think your ex is being very generous, you have lived in her half rent free until now and your new girlfriend is being offered half a house worth £475pm for only £350pm.[/FONT]
[FONT=Verdana, sans-serif]If you want to remain living there and unless you can afford to buy out your ex either by yourself or with your new girlfriend then I would snap up her offer quickly.[/FONT]

jamint · 17 May 2018 at 11:05AM

Hi all,

Thanks for all your input. I've had a few days with this on my mind so apologies again for the mind splurge! I agree with pretty much everyone that the situation is less than ideal (to say the least!). And I also agree with a lot of people that my ex has been more than accommodating over the past 2 years. I also think she's being fair in asking for £350 a month, particularly when considering the previous situation. I do care for her a lot (not "like that" any more) and I don't want to see her out of pocket which is why all this is so difficult.

Regarding the suggestion my current g/f could buy ex g/f out, unfortunately current g/f wouldn't want to do this - mainly because she wants us, if we buy, to get somewhere "new" and "us" ish which I appreciate. I'm also not super keen to stay in the house long term anyway, there are a few things about the place I'm not especially keen on and after 5 years there I'm happy to call it a day, once that day comes.

There's quite a bit of back story I didn't really elaborate on - for example in the 2 years I've been in the house I really truly have been prodding my ex on a regular basis to ask things like "what do you want to do about the house" and "don't you think we should just sell it?". She never seemed to want to broach it, citing Crossrail, as well as her apparent comfortableness paying what she is paying and carrying on as is. Her current b/f is quite well off I believe which is probably partly why. He also is supporting his ex g/f apparently, which is a whole different story! But may explain my g/fs rationale a bit too.
Anyway, I really do feel like I've done as much as I can in terms of mentioning the current set-up to her, checking she's OK with it, especially as I've been essentially in a beneficial position and any action on her part would be to my detriment which never stopped me from prompting her.

I spoke to my ex on the phone yesterday and we got a lot cleared. She did say that if my current g/f won't agree then let's just leave it be for now, and see where we're at in a month or so. I asked her again whether we should just sell it, she did say she's planning on getting some legal advice in terms of what her/her partner could afford, that they may try and buy me out to rent it, but that she doubts they can afford to.

As I said the past day or so, having gotten it off my chest, I think I'm coming around to the following:

- there's nothing I can do if my current g/f won't accept the offer on the table, especially as she's mainly citing that it's the £ going to my ex which is causing the problem for her in agreeing
- I believe my ex g/f is being fair in asking for the amount she is asking for

I'm seeing my g/f tonight so we will discuss potential next options. I guess mainly I'm just a bit disappointed that it could have been win-win all round, but emotions are getting in the way. Equally frustrating is that there is literally nothing I can do about it (except sell up ASAP of course, but if this is going against what my ex (and I guess me) wants then it'll stay as is for now).

I'll try and update this thread regards to what happens.

Mojisola · 17 May 2018 at 11:10AM

Fosterdog wrote: »

By moving the new girlfriend in and her paying rent could also give her a beneficial interest in the property which will make things even more complicated in the long run.

If the girlfriend was paying jamint rent, that could happen but she would be the ex-gf's tenant so it wouldn't create a beneficial interest.

TBagpuss · 17 May 2018 at 11:12AM

Your ex is not being unreasonable. It's unusual that she has been willing to subsidise your living costs for so long, normally it would be reasonable for you to have been paying the full mortgage (effectively 50% as your 'half' and the other 50% as 'occupation rent' for using your ex's half of the property.
So over 2 years she has effectively supported you to the tune of around £6700.

You say that the rental value of the property is around £950 a month, so if you are moving someone in, it would not be unreasonable for that person to be paying around £475 a month. That would be split between you and your ex, with you paying the full mortgage as you are occupying the house.

That would mean that the net amount it would be fair for your partner to pay would be £377. So £350 is pretty generous.

obviously it is a matter for you ans your partner as to whether she pays that to your ex, or whether you offer to pay the full mortgage and negotiate a different amount as rent form your new partner, or whether your new partner pays a lower figure and you make up the difference.

Another option, given you and your ex don't want to sell yet, would be to consider renting out your property, and for you and your current partner to rent elsewhere together.

But f you stay put, paying £350 to your ex is not unreasonable. She could reasonable ask for more.

AnotherJoe · 17 May 2018 at 11:30AM

Get GF 1 & 2 to swap names by deed poll, then GF2 pays GF1 the equity owed, job done.

es5595 · 17 May 2018 at 11:49AM

I think the issue here is the current gf, and in her shoes I might feel exactly the same way.

Living with parents is great, but she’s prepared to move in with you. She’s probably prepared to split the bills, since she’ll now be using half. You’ve mentioned looking at a new home together and going halves so she sounds prepared to pay her way.

However, it’s now proposed that to move in with you, she’s got to pay £350 a month to your previous gf, and that’s where she’s baulking, and I don’t really blame her. It’s a psychological issue as opposed to a financial one, and one most would have an issue with.

I would refuse point blank to move in with a partner if it meant paying £ to their ex, regardless of how “correct and financially right” it was on paper.

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Co-own a house with my ex-gf - 'moving new gf in' questions

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