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  • FIRST POST
    • Pafosp
    • By Pafosp 15th May 18, 11:44 AM
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    Pafosp
    Inheritance
    • #1
    • 15th May 18, 11:44 AM
    Inheritance 15th May 18 at 11:44 AM
    Hello,im in need of help or advise.Following a two year separation,we have agreed to divorce.(i have found out she was having a affair),but to make it easy,we are going down the two years agreeable line.My ex has come into a small inheritance, and i was wondering if i was entitled to a share.? Before anyone thinks im being greedy,i paid off a lot of debt for her,which she wont pay back.Thanks in advance.
Page 1
    • gettingtheresometime
    • By gettingtheresometime 15th May 18, 12:45 PM
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    gettingtheresometime
    • #2
    • 15th May 18, 12:45 PM
    • #2
    • 15th May 18, 12:45 PM
    I have relatives that were in the same position although there wasn't the issue of one paying off the others debt.


    I lost any respect I had for the claimant - yes they were legally entitled to claim it but morally it was a totally different story
    Last edited by gettingtheresometime; 15-05-2018 at 2:39 PM.
    Lloyds OD / Natwest OD / PO CC / Wescott / Argos Card cleared thanks to the 1 debt v 100 day challenge


    Next on the list - JD Williams
    • ska lover
    • By ska lover 15th May 18, 2:09 PM
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    ska lover
    • #3
    • 15th May 18, 2:09 PM
    • #3
    • 15th May 18, 2:09 PM
    No I don't think you should pursue a claim - that is ugly behaviour IMO

    How depressing is the thought of working all your life and leaving gifts for your children, for a long gone ex to feel entitled to it?

    I think it is morally reprehensible to go after inheritance from someone else's family and benefit from a deceased persons hard graft and the fact you have been separated for two years, and she has recently come in to this may exclude you anyway

    The debts you speak of paying, that was your choice at the time to get involved with that..and however you dress it up, inheritance chasing is always going to come across as grasping

    Walk away and retain your dignity
    The opposite of what you know...is also true
    • TBagpuss
    • By TBagpuss 15th May 18, 2:51 PM
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    TBagpuss
    • #4
    • 15th May 18, 2:51 PM
    • #4
    • 15th May 18, 2:51 PM
    How it works is that you (or failing agreement, the court) have to come to a settlement which is fair to you both.

    You wouldn't normally be entitled to a share of an inheritance she received after the separation, but you might be entitled to a lump sum reflecting the share of her/joint debts you paid.

    Are there any other assets? It's unlikely to be cost effective to pursue if there is nothing else in the picture, but if there are other assets then it would be reasonable to take into account the debt in considering what is reasonable.
    • Pollycat
    • By Pollycat 15th May 18, 3:12 PM
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    Pollycat
    • #5
    • 15th May 18, 3:12 PM
    • #5
    • 15th May 18, 3:12 PM
    How it works is that you (or failing agreement, the court) have to come to a settlement which is fair to you both.

    You wouldn't normally be entitled to a share of an inheritance she received after the separation, but you might be entitled to a lump sum reflecting the share of her/joint debts you paid.

    Are there any other assets? It's unlikely to be cost effective to pursue if there is nothing else in the picture, but if there are other assets then it would be reasonable to take into account the debt in considering what is reasonable.
    Originally posted by TBagpuss
    Or pensions?

    No I don't think you should pursue a claim - that is ugly behaviour IMO

    How depressing is the thought of working all your life and leaving gifts for your children, for a long gone ex to feel entitled to it?

    I think it is morally reprehensible to go after inheritance from someone else's family and benefit from a deceased persons hard graft and the fact you have been separated for two years, and she has recently come in to this may exclude you anyway

    The debts you speak of paying, that was your choice at the time to get involved with that..and however you dress it up, inheritance chasing is always going to come across as grasping

    Walk away and retain your dignity
    Originally posted by ska lover
    I'd agree with your post if it wasn't for the debts.
    Why should one ex-partner play fair if the other won't?
    • hazyjo
    • By hazyjo 15th May 18, 3:35 PM
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    • #6
    • 15th May 18, 3:35 PM
    • #6
    • 15th May 18, 3:35 PM
    Was she originally going to pay you back, or is it that you now want paying in light of her affair/the end of your marriage?


    Pursue the debt separately. If she is obliged to pay you, it doesn't really matter where the money comes from - that's just semantics. If you weren't going to go for the debt before the death, it makes you look incredibly bitter, undignified and somewhat nasty - especially as it was over two years ago. (Sorry!)
    2018 wins: Single Malt Whisky; theatre tickets; festival tickets; year of gin(!); shoes
    • 74jax
    • By 74jax 15th May 18, 4:43 PM
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    74jax
    • #7
    • 15th May 18, 4:43 PM
    • #7
    • 15th May 18, 4:43 PM
    A similar situation in that I was left with debt, rather than paying off during the marriage.


    Ex husband's dad died (whilst still together), but I saw that as separate. It was his Dad, not mine (although was technically my FIL).
    Forty and fabulous, well that's what my cards say....
    • cjdavies
    • By cjdavies 15th May 18, 5:01 PM
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    cjdavies
    • #8
    • 15th May 18, 5:01 PM
    • #8
    • 15th May 18, 5:01 PM
    I say go for it, you paid her debts and she has an affair!!
    Last edited by cjdavies; 15-05-2018 at 5:07 PM.
    • Jojo the Tightfisted
    • By Jojo the Tightfisted 15th May 18, 6:33 PM
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    Jojo the Tightfisted
    • #9
    • 15th May 18, 6:33 PM
    • #9
    • 15th May 18, 6:33 PM
    You could try - but be prepared for her to change her mind about agreeing to divorce. Fancy being married to her for another three years?
    I could dream to wide extremes, I could do or die: I could yawn and be withdrawn and watch the world go by.

    Yup you are officially Rock n Roll
    Originally posted by colinw
    • Pollycat
    • By Pollycat 15th May 18, 6:46 PM
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    Pollycat
    You could try - but be prepared for her to change her mind about agreeing to divorce. Fancy being married to her for another three years?
    Originally posted by Jojo the Tightfisted
    Or maybe the OP could play hardball and divorce her for adultery.
    We don't know who 'the easiest' route benefits.

    Hello,im in need of help or advise.Following a two year separation,we have agreed to divorce.(i have found out she was having a affair),but to make it easy,we are going down the two years agreeable line.My ex has come into a small inheritance, and i was wondering if i was entitled to a share.? Before anyone thinks im being greedy,i paid off a lot of debt for her,which she wont pay back.Thanks in advance.
    Originally posted by Pafosp
    • Jojo the Tightfisted
    • By Jojo the Tightfisted 15th May 18, 7:26 PM
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    Jojo the Tightfisted
    Or maybe the OP could play hardball and divorce her for adultery.
    We don't know who 'the easiest' route benefits.
    Originally posted by Pollycat
    Have to have done that within six months and the Respondent has to admit to it, IIRC.
    I could dream to wide extremes, I could do or die: I could yawn and be withdrawn and watch the world go by.

    Yup you are officially Rock n Roll
    Originally posted by colinw
    • chesky
    • By chesky 16th May 18, 6:17 AM
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    chesky
    My ex has come into a small inheritance.
    Originally posted by Pafosp
    How small is small? (ish)
    • ska lover
    • By ska lover 16th May 18, 7:38 AM
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    ska lover
    Or pensions?


    I'd agree with your post if it wasn't for the debts.
    Why should one ex-partner play fair if the other won't?
    Originally posted by Pollycat
    Yes I agree - the outstanding debt shouldn't be wiped clean if it was agreed it would be paid back - maybe the OP could chase this up separately as Hazy Jo says
    The opposite of what you know...is also true
    • caprikid1
    • By caprikid1 16th May 18, 10:19 AM
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    caprikid1
    Sorry but you have to remember that this board is inherently sexist.


    Turn it around "My husband had an affair, he has now left me, I paid all his debts. He has just got a small inheritance coming.


    What should I do ?"
    • andydownes123
    • By andydownes123 16th May 18, 11:01 AM
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    andydownes123
    Are you in contact with your ex?

    Perhaps a word in her shell that you know she's had some inheritance and that you would like some money towards the debts you paid on her behalf now she can afford to contribute. If she clams up or tells you to get lost, remind her that you could go for it anyway and maybe a lot of it would get sucked up by solicitors.

    Workd out exactly where you are financially after the split compared to her and ask her to even it out.
    • gettingtheresometime
    • By gettingtheresometime 16th May 18, 11:01 AM
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    gettingtheresometime
    Sorry but you have to remember that this board is inherently sexist.


    Turn it around "My husband had an affair, he has now left me, I paid all his debts. He has just got a small inheritance coming.


    What should I do ?"
    Originally posted by caprikid1
    And my answer would be the same. Would yours?
    Lloyds OD / Natwest OD / PO CC / Wescott / Argos Card cleared thanks to the 1 debt v 100 day challenge


    Next on the list - JD Williams
    • Pollycat
    • By Pollycat 16th May 18, 11:43 AM
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    Pollycat
    And my answer would be the same. Would yours?
    Originally posted by gettingtheresometime
    And so would mine.
    • hazyjo
    • By hazyjo 16th May 18, 12:25 PM
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    hazyjo
    And so would mine.
    Originally posted by Pollycat
    And mine. Unless someone says 'he' 'she' etc, I rarely even stop to think about what sex the person is.


    My advice would be exactly the same thank you. I really hate it when people make assumptions on the back of nothing other than their own chips on shoulders.
    2018 wins: Single Malt Whisky; theatre tickets; festival tickets; year of gin(!); shoes
    • ska lover
    • By ska lover 16th May 18, 1:43 PM
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    ska lover
    Sorry but you have to remember that this board is inherently sexist.


    Turn it around "My husband had an affair, he has now left me, I paid all his debts. He has just got a small inheritance coming.


    What should I do ?"
    Originally posted by caprikid1
    Calling BS on this.

    Do you have anything useful to add?
    The opposite of what you know...is also true
    • thorsoak
    • By thorsoak 16th May 18, 2:45 PM
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    thorsoak
    Have you both been paying into pension schemes? Use that as a bargaining tool - you won't go for her inheritance if she doesn't go for your pension.
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