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  • FIRST POST
    • Tina.arterton
    • By Tina.arterton 11th May 18, 10:39 AM
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    Tina.arterton
    Supporting my daughter as she prepares to go to Uni
    • #1
    • 11th May 18, 10:39 AM
    Supporting my daughter as she prepares to go to Uni 11th May 18 at 10:39 AM
    Our daughter will be studying an equestrian degree in September. Student finance will obviously pay for her tuition fees and some of the accommodation costs but she needs to finance stabling her horse at Uni plus her living costs. We work but are moderate earners. She has just acquired her horse a dream of hers since she was 5! I want to research if there are any ways she can get additional loans to support her rather than entirely relying on the bank of mum and dad as this will be a struggle. Any thoughts or suggestions please.
Page 1
    • elsien
    • By elsien 11th May 18, 10:41 AM
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    elsien
    • #2
    • 11th May 18, 10:41 AM
    • #2
    • 11th May 18, 10:41 AM
    Part time work to fit around her course and during the holidays? She has all summer to find a temporary job and build up some reserves.
    All shall be well, and all shall be well, and all manner of things shall be well.

    Pedant alert - it's could have, not could of.
    • ska lover
    • By ska lover 11th May 18, 12:30 PM
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    ska lover
    • #3
    • 11th May 18, 12:30 PM
    • #3
    • 11th May 18, 12:30 PM
    Part time work to fit around her course and during the holidays? She has all summer to find a temporary job and build up some reserves.
    Originally posted by elsien
    This a million percent. It is only May now and I assume she won't be going until Sept? That is three months of full time work I would be expecting her to do if that were my daughter.

    Also when she gets there, I would be expecting her to get a part time job in the local town, she may even get a job in the local students union bar etc - something like that would be ideal
    The opposite of what you know...is also true
    • elsien
    • By elsien 11th May 18, 12:36 PM
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    elsien
    • #4
    • 11th May 18, 12:36 PM
    • #4
    • 11th May 18, 12:36 PM
    Also to add, has she looked into any bursaries or scholarships?

    https://www.ucas.com/ucas/undergraduate/finance-and-support/additional-funding

    And she could look on turn2us to check eligibility for any relevant grants.
    Last edited by elsien; 11-05-2018 at 12:39 PM.
    All shall be well, and all shall be well, and all manner of things shall be well.

    Pedant alert - it's could have, not could of.
    • Spendless
    • By Spendless 13th May 18, 8:14 AM
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    Spendless
    • #5
    • 13th May 18, 8:14 AM
    • #5
    • 13th May 18, 8:14 AM
    From some of the wording of your post, I am guessing that your DD does not qualify for the full amount of maintenance loan?

    There is an 'expectation' but not 'obligation' that parents will cover the shortfall between the amount of loan that the student qualifies for and the maximum loan amount; where no parental contribution is expected.

    Funding the difference between the 2 amounts, plus stabling a horse is going to be a tough one for her. Unless she has been working a part-time job since she was 16 and put her wages away or there's been money saved for her by a relative for this time to provide a 'nest-egg'. I suspect any money like this has been spent on the purchase of the horse?

    I suggest going through all finances, both yours and hers. That will tell you what you can help her out with financially and what she needs to do workwise to cover as much as she can.

    If the figures don't match up, then deferring for a year in which she can work f-time and save may be something that has to be looked at.
    • peachyprice
    • By peachyprice 14th May 18, 9:37 AM
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    peachyprice
    • #6
    • 14th May 18, 9:37 AM
    • #6
    • 14th May 18, 9:37 AM
    Has she approached stables to ask if she can keep her horse there at a reduced price in exchange for her services mucking out etc.?
    Accept your past without regret, handle your present with confidence and face your future without fear
    • Susan1942
    • By Susan1942 24th May 18, 11:01 AM
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    Susan1942
    • #7
    • 24th May 18, 11:01 AM
    • #7
    • 24th May 18, 11:01 AM
    I have just posted on a Student loan forum but this might be more appropriate b
    I am a Grandmother with limited means. That said I want to help my Grandchildren as much as possible.
    My Granddaughter is going to have a year at an American university. I am going to give her 5000; to help finance that year.
    My dilemma at the moment is how much money I should give my.Grandson
    He has got a BSc in Physics He is starting Post Grad Masters in Computer Sciences in September. I am going to fund his accommodation but am wondering what would be a reasonable amount for living expenses food bills bus fares and a bit of pocket money?
    His Parents I think will fund his train fares home etc
    I know he should be out working casually at the moment but other than a few weeks here and there he is reluctant to do much about earning money etc He likes to be able to go visit his girlfriend who is still at University
    Neither of my Grandchildren had Saturday jobs while at school or jobs during the summer break from University
    Sorry to highjack your forum but wondered about how much it would be reasonable amount Thanks Sue
    • agrinnall
    • By agrinnall 24th May 18, 11:25 AM
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    agrinnall
    • #8
    • 24th May 18, 11:25 AM
    • #8
    • 24th May 18, 11:25 AM
    Sorry to highjack your forum but wondered about how much it would be reasonable amount Thanks Sue
    Originally posted by Susan1942

    If you're giving your granddaughter 5000 then the reasonable thing to do is give your grandson the same. Whether that is provided up front (with the possibility that much of it will be frittered away) or in tranches when he has things that he needs to spend money on is something you and the parents should discuss.


    Personally I'm not sure I'd have given either of them anything if they have never been bothered to earn a penny themselves.
    • Lokolo
    • By Lokolo 24th May 18, 11:50 AM
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    Lokolo
    • #9
    • 24th May 18, 11:50 AM
    • #9
    • 24th May 18, 11:50 AM
    Your grandson has a degree, if he wants to do a masters then I would expect you to pay nothing towards that.
    • sheramber
    • By sheramber 24th May 18, 7:10 PM
    • 5,212 Posts
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    sheramber
    You can find the cast of his bus fares to and from college. he can probably get a weekly/monthly pass.le

    How much do you think is reasonable for a single person to spend on food? Are you single? What do you spend on a weeks shopping? Maybe add a little to account for a youngsters appetite.
    If you don't have an idea of the cost make up a week's possible shopping list and price it on Supermarket .com.
    Will he have access to a subsidised canteen at uni?

    How much pocket money is up to you but personally , if he would rather visit his girlfriend than work I wouldn't be subsidising his visits. If he wants extras he should work for them.

    He won't be able to choose whether he works or visits a girlfriend when he is employed.
    • Susan1942
    • By Susan1942 24th May 18, 7:52 PM
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    Susan1942
    Thanks for your responses. Sorry for the delay in responding but I locked myself out of my account and had to reset my password etc.
    I appreciate what you are saying in that my Grandchildren have not worked whilst they were studying. My Granddaughter did go to the US last summer to do Camp America.
    I am giving my Granddaughter the money to help her Parents as it is much more expensive for accommodation at US Universities plus the added expense of flights etc. I am happy to give her 5000 which will be mostly used for that accommodation.
    My Grandson fell out of love with Physics after about the first 18 months of his degree. He is a very clever boy but his heart was just not in Physics. . He has spent the past 9 months considering his future.
    He has been offered a place at Newcastle and Birmingham Universities for a Masters in Computer Sciences. Birmingham was his first choice. He is a quiet boy who lacks confidence so I want to help him as much as possible. He will talk to me but not his Parents. My Daughter tends to be very confrontational which is why he won't talk to them. I don't get involved in discussing his situation with her. It is pointless as it is always very negative.
    He will get a loan which will cover his course fee but it leaves nothing or almost nothing for living expenses. I am not sure but I think his accommodation will be around 500 a month. I am wondering if around 75 a week or 300 a month would cover his general day to day living. So I would be happy to give him 800 a month. I just want him to get a qualification which will open up a better opportunity for a career in which he will be happy.
    Thanks again for your views and advice. Sue
    • meer53
    • By meer53 25th May 18, 7:39 PM
    • 9,283 Posts
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    meer53
    Thanks for your responses. Sorry for the delay in responding but I locked myself out of my account and had to reset my password etc.
    I appreciate what you are saying in that my Grandchildren have not worked whilst they were studying. My Granddaughter did go to the US last summer to do Camp America.
    I am giving my Granddaughter the money to help her Parents as it is much more expensive for accommodation at US Universities plus the added expense of flights etc. I am happy to give her 5000 which will be mostly used for that accommodation.
    My Grandson fell out of love with Physics after about the first 18 months of his degree. He is a very clever boy but his heart was just not in Physics. . He has spent the past 9 months considering his future.
    He has been offered a place at Newcastle and Birmingham Universities for a Masters in Computer Sciences. Birmingham was his first choice. He is a quiet boy who lacks confidence so I want to help him as much as possible. He will talk to me but not his Parents. My Daughter tends to be very confrontational which is why he won't talk to them. I don't get involved in discussing his situation with her. It is pointless as it is always very negative.
    He will get a loan which will cover his course fee but it leaves nothing or almost nothing for living expenses. I am not sure but I think his accommodation will be around 500 a month. I am wondering if around 75 a week or 300 a month would cover his general day to day living. So I would be happy to give him 800 a month. I just want him to get a qualification which will open up a better opportunity for a career in which he will be happy.
    Thanks again for your views and advice. Sue
    Originally posted by Susan1942
    Like a lot of students, he can apply for a maintenance loan to fund his living costs, my daughter is going to Uni in September, she will receive 8400 to cover her costs, after her accomodation is paid it will leave her with about 5000. My daughter is also planning on getting a job which will fit around her course. He could apply for the maintenance loan too, it will depend on his parents income? I appreciate you're trying to help him but it might actually help him if he got a job to help fund his studies and boost his confidence ? Does your daughter know you will be giving him the money ?
    • Susan1942
    • By Susan1942 25th May 18, 9:29 PM
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    Susan1942
    I don't think he can get a grant for a Post Grad course. He can get a loan which I understand is 10,000 but the fee is about 9300 .
    Yes my Daughter knows that I am supporting him for this year I did try to discuss how much I thought would be needed for his living expenses over and above his rent. I mentioned 50 but she said no way which is why I am talking about 75 a week.
    I intend to have a chat with my Grandson on my own so that we can discuss the ins and outs of thing. I know a Masters will be involve hard work on his part and I just want to talk to him about his commitment. I appreciate what you are saying about him finding some work as I feel he has got until September so 3 months which would allow him to have a buffer. He still has got some savings but I reckon he must have exhausted most of that in the past few months. It is difficult being the Grandmother but I do have a very good relationship with both of these Grandchildren. I have another 3 Grandchildren but they are younger 15 13 and 7 .
    I just want the best for all of them. Thanks again Sue.
    Last edited by Susan1942; 25-05-2018 at 9:34 PM. Reason: Just a check as I had not previewed it
    • GothicStirling
    • By GothicStirling 27th May 18, 8:10 AM
    • 1,084 Posts
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    GothicStirling
    Sometimes the best for them is a little tough love.
    • Susan1942
    • By Susan1942 30th May 18, 11:23 PM
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    • 186 Thanks
    Susan1942
    My grandson came to see me on Sunday . We had a long conversation about his goals. I said what I needed was a strong committment to work hard . He says he really wants to get this qualification so that he can have a career in this field.
    My Daughter says that they appreciate any financial help I can offer but that they are prepared to contribute to.his financial costs
    In the meantime he has gone to Bath to attend the Graduate Ball as his girlfriend's partner
    Says he intends to look for a summer job when he comes back next week..
    His girlfriend is going home and will work for the summer also
    We had a chat about accommodation and he hopes to live in University accommodation. Birmingham were just waiting on email confirmation of his BSc Physics degree. I am sure this will have now been confirmed.
    I spoke to him.about communication with his Parents He says it seems pointless due to negatively on my Daughter's part.
    She is very confrontational and tends to say oh he probably won't get a job at the end of this either.
    My Nephew who has got.a senior position at Microsoft in Seattle. Has worked for them for 20 years plus
    Has got in excess of 30 Patents. He worked twice with Amazon but Microsoft always poach him back after a very short time.
    He has said he will set up some contacts teams companies etc when he completes his Master's. He sees his Physics degree as being an advantage.
    My hope is that he will successfully complete his Master's that these contacts will lead to some success in finding his first job. Fingers crossed !
    Thanks to everyone for their advice and support to a worrying GRANNY Sue
    • meer53
    • By meer53 31st May 18, 8:35 AM
    • 9,283 Posts
    • 13,493 Thanks
    meer53
    My grandson came to see me on Sunday . We had a long conversation about his goals. I said what I needed was a strong committment to work hard . He says he really wants to get this qualification so that he can have a career in this field.
    My Daughter says that they appreciate any financial help I can offer but that they are prepared to contribute to.his financial costs
    In the meantime he has gone to Bath to attend the Graduate Ball as his girlfriend's partner
    Says he intends to look for a summer job when he comes back next week..
    His girlfriend is going home and will work for the summer also
    We had a chat about accommodation and he hopes to live in University accommodation. Birmingham were just waiting on email confirmation of his BSc Physics degree. I am sure this will have now been confirmed.
    I spoke to him.about communication with his Parents He says it seems pointless due to negatively on my Daughter's part.
    She is very confrontational and tends to say oh he probably won't get a job at the end of this either.
    My Nephew who has got.a senior position at Microsoft in Seattle. Has worked for them for 20 years plus
    Has got in excess of 30 Patents. He worked twice with Amazon but Microsoft always poach him back after a very short time.
    He has said he will set up some contacts teams companies etc when he completes his Master's. He sees his Physics degree as being an advantage.
    My hope is that he will successfully complete his Master's that these contacts will lead to some success in finding his first job. Fingers crossed !
    Thanks to everyone for their advice and support to a worrying GRANNY Sue
    Originally posted by Susan1942
    I hope it all goes well for your grandson, he seems to be saying all the right things now. My daughter is going to Uni in September, her accommodation is all confirmed and sorted as is her funding. She has had a a part time job since she was 16 and loves it, she loves the money too ! She also volunteers 2 days a week at a local school when she's not at college (she's doing a teaching degree at Uni) I can't really fund her social life as i'm a single parent (no grandparents) so she knows she has to work if she wants to go out/buy make up/clothes etc. I'm not sure she would have done this if someone else had been providing her with money. The job has also helped her gain confidence and given her a whole new set of friends.

    We all want to help our children but i agree with other posters who say that tough love is sometimes the best way. I would love to be able to give my daughter more money but our situation really has worked out well so far.

    OP i know you only have the best intentions for helping your grandson but your daughter must have her reasons for saying what she does. Computer Sciences is a hugely competitive market and he will have to be at the top of his game to do well. I wish your grandson well, i hope it all works out ok for him but i think maybe you should try a little tough love.
    • sheramber
    • By sheramber 31st May 18, 11:00 AM
    • 5,212 Posts
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    sheramber
    My grandson came to see me on Sunday . We had a long conversation about his goals. I said what I needed was a strong committment to work hard . He says he really wants to get this qualification so that he can have a career in this field.
    My Daughter says that they appreciate any financial help I can offer but that they are prepared to contribute to.his financial costs
    In the meantime he has gone to Bath to attend the Graduate Ball as his girlfriend's partner
    Says he intends to look for a summer job when he comes back next week..
    His girlfriend is going home and will work for the summer also
    We had a chat about accommodation and he hopes to live in University accommodation. Birmingham were just waiting on email confirmation of his BSc Physics degree. I am sure this will have now been confirmed.
    I spoke to him.about communication with his Parents He says it seems pointless due to negatively on my Daughter's part.
    She is very confrontational and tends to say oh he probably won't get a job at the end of this either.
    My Nephew who has got.a senior position at Microsoft in Seattle. Has worked for them for 20 years plus
    Has got in excess of 30 Patents. He worked twice with Amazon but Microsoft always poach him back after a very short time.
    He has said he will set up some contacts teams companies etc when he completes his Master's. He sees his Physics degree as being an advantage.
    My hope is that he will successfully complete his Master's that these contacts will lead to some success in finding his first job. Fingers crossed !
    Thanks to everyone for their advice and support to a worrying GRANNY Sue
    Originally posted by Susan1942
    If he has worked for Microsoft in Seattle for 20 years plus has he been resident in the UK for the last three years to qualify for a Post Graduate loan?
    • Susan1942
    • By Susan1942 31st May 18, 11:11 AM
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    • 186 Thanks
    Susan1942
    Sorry I have not made this clear. It is Nephew who has worked for Microsoft for 20+ years.
    I get what you are saying about tough love but for now I am going to give him the benefit of the doubt. Hopefully when he completes his Masters he may be in a better place regarding career opportunities. He does not want to go down the Physics route hence the reason for the Masters in Computer Sciences.
    I am very happy that you have got things all settled for your Daughter. Being a single parent is I am sure very hard. Without her doing part time work no doubt she would not have the money she wants for her social activities. No doubt she may appreciate her opportunity more than my Grandson. I wish her well and every success her studies.
    Thanks again Sue
    • humptydumptybits
    • By humptydumptybits 31st May 18, 8:53 PM
    • 1,128 Posts
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    humptydumptybits
    I don't think he can get a grant for a Post Grad course. He can get a loan which I understand is 10,000 but the fee is about 9300 .
    Yes my Daughter knows that I am supporting him for this year I did try to discuss how much I thought would be needed for his living expenses over and above his rent. I mentioned 50 but she said no way which is why I am talking about 75 a week.
    I intend to have a chat with my Grandson on my own so that we can discuss the ins and outs of thing. I know a Masters will be involve hard work on his part and I just want to talk to him about his commitment. I appreciate what you are saying about him finding some work as I feel he has got until September so 3 months which would allow him to have a buffer. He still has got some savings but I reckon he must have exhausted most of that in the past few months. It is difficult being the Grandmother but I do have a very good relationship with both of these Grandchildren. I have another 3 Grandchildren but they are younger 15 13 and 7 .
    I just want the best for all of them. Thanks again Sue.
    Originally posted by Susan1942

    I'm a grandmother and understand your feelings but I think a reality check would be good for him. If I was you I would be saying get a job and save between now and September and if he does that you will match it, or give him double what he saves or however much it would work out as. I wouldn't be giving thousands to someone who has been thinking about what to do for 9 months and is still sitting there now.


    Sometimes kids need a bit of a push and making life too easy isn't always the kindness we think it is.
    • Lokolo
    • By Lokolo 1st Jun 18, 2:09 PM
    • 20,002 Posts
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    Lokolo
    Sorry I have not made this clear. It is Nephew who has worked for Microsoft for 20+ years.
    I get what you are saying about tough love but for now I am going to give him the benefit of the doubt. Hopefully when he completes his Masters he may be in a better place regarding career opportunities. He does not want to go down the Physics route hence the reason for the Masters in Computer Sciences.
    I am very happy that you have got things all settled for your Daughter. Being a single parent is I am sure very hard. Without her doing part time work no doubt she would not have the money she wants for her social activities. No doubt she may appreciate her opportunity more than my Grandson. I wish her well and every success her studies.
    Thanks again Sue
    Originally posted by Susan1942
    He doesn't need to do a masters to go into IT or computing related field. The degree is enough.

    My job required a STEM or Computer Science degree. That was it. I have been a software developer for 8 years.

    Your grandson CAN get a job from his degree, he is choosing not to.

    Good luck Sue, and your grandson. He will need it if he hasn't had any job experience before.
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