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  • FIRST POST
    • beattiesman
    • By beattiesman 8th May 18, 7:25 PM
    • 283Posts
    • 8Thanks
    beattiesman
    nursing / care home
    • #1
    • 8th May 18, 7:25 PM
    nursing / care home 8th May 18 at 7:25 PM
    my mum has decided it may be time to go in a home,my brother bought the flat for her over 20 years ago. 2 years ago the local council have put in a wet room & a ramp outside & arranged care workers to come in of a morning to wash & dress her & back of a night to undress her,what is the procedure do I get in touch with her local council & ask for a social worker
Page 2
    • lisyloo
    • By lisyloo 11th May 18, 1:18 PM
    • 22,499 Posts
    • 11,109 Thanks
    lisyloo
    I often wonder what would have happened if we hadn't been articulate and able/willing to stand up to people who wanted to push us around.
    When they wanted to split up MIL and FIL after 61 years of marriage my SIL argued that if they have tried to split up two swans or two elephants at the local zoo then it would have been headline news.
    • Snowbird
    • By Snowbird 11th May 18, 1:37 PM
    • 45 Posts
    • 74 Thanks
    Snowbird

    I had a shouting match by phone with the discharge co-ordinator. T

    I often wonder what would have happened if we hadn't been articulate and able/willing to stand up to people who wanted to push us around.
    Originally posted by margaretclare
    If you are having shouting matches on the phone, you are hardly articulate.
    Everyone has been in difficult situations, but shouting matches with professionals? Really?
    • margaretclare
    • By margaretclare 11th May 18, 2:24 PM
    • 10,169 Posts
    • 17,233 Thanks
    margaretclare
    If you are having shouting matches on the phone, you are hardly articulate.
    Everyone has been in difficult situations, but shouting matches with professionals? Really?
    Originally posted by Snowbird
    Well, she may have thought she was a professional. I didn't think so. She didn't listen, and I was simply repeating myself.

    By the way, she was the one who started yelling at me down the phone.
    Last edited by margaretclare; 12-05-2018 at 10:14 AM.
    r ic wisdom funde, r wear ic eald.
    Before I found wisdom, I became old.
    • margaretclare
    • By margaretclare 11th May 18, 2:27 PM
    • 10,169 Posts
    • 17,233 Thanks
    margaretclare
    When they wanted to split up MIL and FIL after 61 years of marriage my SIL argued that if they have tried to split up two swans or two elephants at the local zoo then it would have been headline news.
    Originally posted by lisyloo
    It is not down to someone on the outside to split up two people who have chosen to stay together for that length of time, or for any length of time, and who want to stay together. Neither is it down to someone on the outside to come into your home uninvited, or to tell you that you must have someone come in whom you don't want.
    r ic wisdom funde, r wear ic eald.
    Before I found wisdom, I became old.
    • lisyloo
    • By lisyloo 11th May 18, 2:54 PM
    • 22,499 Posts
    • 11,109 Thanks
    lisyloo
    Neither is it down to someone on the outside to come into your home uninvited, or to tell you that you must have someone come in whom you don't want.
    The exception is if you have lost capacity to make decisions and have not made provision.
    I mention this (to other readers) as my MIL did not make provision, in fact refused power of attorney as she didn't want anyone else to have control and has now made it difficult for us.
    I am ow seeking deputyship through the courts for property and affairs (no welfare issues as she's already in a nursing home).
    Apart from the 5 forms to fill out (much paperwork) the doctor want 60-120, the application fee is 400 (single deputy) and 320 per year, and 500 if a court hearing is required.
    Just a warning for people to get their own house in order due to both the costs and having outsiders making decisions for you.
    Personally I made an EPA when they were free.
    • margaretclare
    • By margaretclare 12th May 18, 10:14 AM
    • 10,169 Posts
    • 17,233 Thanks
    margaretclare
    Yes, of course I agree wholeheartedly that everyone should put their affairs in order while there's time. We did it all a few years ago now, after my younger daughter's death.

    I've just realised some investments to help my eldest GD with her RTB council house. An answer to all those who asked me 'Why are you still saving, at your age?' We intend to go on saving because we still don't know what we may need in time to come.

    DH and I haven't been together for 61 years, but we're of one mind about most things. I think either of us would lose the will to live if we were forced to live apart.
    r ic wisdom funde, r wear ic eald.
    Before I found wisdom, I became old.
    • Keep pedalling
    • By Keep pedalling 12th May 18, 10:29 AM
    • 5,423 Posts
    • 6,115 Thanks
    Keep pedalling
    Looking at the OPs other threads, it would appear that flat is owned by the mother not the brother. He may have put up the funds, but as it was purchased under the right to buy, only she had the right to buy it. The fact that the council have billed her for roof repairs back this up.

    It looks like both the purchase of the property and subsequent equity release have involved some fraudulent activity, which could now backfire horribly if she does need residential care. The LA will be fully aware that the flat was purchased by the OPs mother.
    Last edited by Keep pedalling; 12-05-2018 at 12:04 PM.
    • margaretclare
    • By margaretclare 12th May 18, 12:44 PM
    • 10,169 Posts
    • 17,233 Thanks
    margaretclare
    Looking at the OPs other threads, it would appear that flat is owned by the mother not the brother. He may have put up the funds, but as it was purchased under the right to buy, only she had the right to buy it. The fact that the council have billed her for roof repairs back this up.

    It looks like both the purchase of the property and subsequent equity release have involved some fraudulent activity, which could now backfire horribly if she does need residential care. The LA will be fully aware that the flat was purchased by the OPs mother.
    Ooooops. This changes the whole picture.

    If Mum was a secure tenant, only she will have had the RTB. I didn't know much about RTB, have been finding out about it recently because of my GD.

    GD has RTB. I am giving her the deposit on her mortgage. That done, I'll have no rights in her property, nothing to do with it at all in fact. If I, or anyone else, moved into her spare bedroom, I'd be her tenant.

    So, the flat being discussed remains Mum's property and her son is her tenant.

    Not sure how they managed to do equity release on the flat. AFAIK councils do mortgages on previous council property, but they don't do equity release. An incredibly complicated set-up. The equity release company will want to be paid first.
    r ic wisdom funde, r wear ic eald.
    Before I found wisdom, I became old.
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