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  • FIRST POST
    • efes shareholder
    • By efes shareholder 3rd May 18, 10:55 AM
    • 332Posts
    • 901Thanks
    efes shareholder
    taking responsibilty to get me where I want to be
    • #1
    • 3rd May 18, 10:55 AM
    taking responsibilty to get me where I want to be 3rd May 18 at 10:55 AM
    Good morning MSE'ers
    I have been reading diaries for the last few months and have found peoples stories so inspiring that I am hoping for some company on my own journey , this will be my own log which hopefully will motivate me at times of bleakness so I can look back on any progress I have made
    My sitituation is quite unique , My long term relationship broke down 7 years ago and i spent the next 6 renting on the private market and looking after my 3 kids on just the one income.
    This , ultimately led to lots of juggling , credit facilities being utilised and to be accountable for myself poor choices.
    I'm now hoping I can turn this round - my credit file is rated as poor however I a share of the property purchased as the family home ( my children now all over 18 reside there when they are not at uni) and one day this will be sold and i need to be in a position to reinvest this money and acquire a property of my own
    I recently received a part payment of the equity ( around 5%) and have used this to take responsibilty for my historic debts and settle the accounts on my file which show in default
    This was as follows
    899.52 - Argos store card
    1799 - M&S Credit card ( passed to Lowell)
    I also paid my overdraft off to the tune of 1500 and a 1000 from my credit card
    I have around 3554 remaining on my credit card ( which i have stopped using) and also 880 on Very ( approx 450 on 0%)

    I have placed around 5000 in to my esavers account and i would like to build this , I would like to tackle my remaining debts without dipping in to this as its my safety net should I ever need legal action to get my share of the house once the kids are more established

    Historically I have lived for the moment and as long as the cash machine continued to distribute then I would continue to withdraw , I've enjoyed trips away that I knew I couldn't afford but I looked upon life as when we leave , we are only taking our memories so it is best to make some whilst our health allows

    At the grand age of 45 , having spent my years from 18 parenting I want to start fulfilling my bucket list however I need to do this without over committing myself !!!

    This is my introduction , I will hopefully post an SOA at some point later today

    Thank you all for reading
    Last edited by efes shareholder; 03-05-2018 at 10:58 AM. Reason: ommited info
Page 6
    • efes shareholder
    • By efes shareholder 1st Aug 18, 9:17 AM
    • 332 Posts
    • 901 Thanks
    efes shareholder
    Good morning

    Last night I took to the kids to see a film using the meerkat 2 for 1. We went to the new Odeon Luxe and my word what an experience
    I can take or leave the cinema but the reclining leather chairs and side tables are something else and I am newly converted , I jokingly asked the kids if we could go in our PJ's but I was partly serious - It was like being on your sofa.
    Alot of the seats have been removed so there is much more personal space - Give it a go Guys , It is amazing


    In other news most of my payments have been sent however a little surprise with the virgin bill which is usually around 50. This month its reached 75 ! I should have checked the bill before it was debited , When I have looked this morning it seems that whilst my mums computer has been out of service she has gone back to the old school ways of getting numbers from directory enquiries , My word that service is expensive 7.43 for 30 seconds
    Its done now and I am sure she will get the get difference back to me and did not realise that old school services were not charged at new school prices , I always thought that you had to be advised of the cost of the call if it wasn't a standard rate but knowing my mum she probably wasn't paying attention.
    I will be contacting virgin today seeking a bill reduction as they have lost UKTV and I will be doing that this weekend

    CONFESSION TIME - I have in recent weeks slipped back to my smoking ways , annoyed and actually ashamed of myself. If I have any explaination then its purely that my willpower was not strong enough and I lost focus when tempted by the duty free prices on my recent travels
    Those duty free supplies have now gone and the reality of full price nicotine purchases is staring me in the face so I have set myself a new smoke free day
    This will be Monday 6th August
    I have to do this for the benefit of my finances and not to mention my health , the toughest part is my mum is a chain smoker but as this time I have decided as I did in 2003 when I abstained for 10 years that I will not purchase another packet , whether it be with my money or someone elses she may have to follow suit as she doesn't like walking to the shop and no longer has a car !!!
    My sister is also going to give up with me

    Oh my gosh , what a long post for a wednesday xx
    Last edited by efes shareholder; 01-08-2018 at 11:00 AM.
    • efes shareholder
    • By efes shareholder 1st Aug 18, 11:41 AM
    • 332 Posts
    • 901 Thanks
    efes shareholder
    Been picking up a lot on others diaries that they do paid surveys

    Does anyone have any links ~
    • NelliePie
    • By NelliePie 1st Aug 18, 3:13 PM
    • 256 Posts
    • 549 Thanks
    NelliePie
    I've tried prolific academic - they're a bit more spread out but pay better. I've made 6.10 from 2 surveys today (2.10 confirmed and 4 pending) but need to get to 20 in order to cash out.

    https://www.prolific.ac/p?ref=9H76X93B
    Little One's due date 18/12/18
    5/5/18 I became Mrs Pie
    FTB June '17 - 144k motrgage
    • efes shareholder
    • By efes shareholder 1st Aug 18, 3:18 PM
    • 332 Posts
    • 901 Thanks
    efes shareholder
    Thanks Nellie Pie - Will absolutely look in to these
    • efes shareholder
    • By efes shareholder 2nd Aug 18, 10:03 AM
    • 332 Posts
    • 901 Thanks
    efes shareholder
    You wait all month for a salary replenishment and when it arrives it vanishes so quickly !!

    Yesterday my son approached me to tell me he isn't sure he has enough money to see him through until his uni payment in September - he has an emergancy fund which came from a saving scheme since he was a baby and needed to dip in to this when he had to pay next years rent up front , but he knows he will be expected to return at least some of this when he is able too ( its a ball ache having to pay before the grants arrive as he is always chasing his tail)
    He also has a part time job for the summer but its at a local venue which is very much dependant on good weather so he can get rained off and as yet he hasn't had a pay day.
    Hes a bit like his mum and doesn't always manage his money well but this is the first time he has approach for general living - he wanted to take some cash from his EF but didn't want to approach his dad who is in control of this as he would get a rollicking

    I have told him , I need him to sit down and make a budget planner listing everything that is coming in and when and everything that is going out and when so that he can have a clear vision of his forthcoming expenditure and what funds he will available to him - He has a little weekend booked with his friends and this is what he is worried about , that he doesn't have enough funds.
    Having spoken to him , I asked him how much he had and couldn't see why he was concerned as it sounded more then enough , I think he just wanted the buffer.

    We have compromised that he doesn't touch his EF for the moment and he does his upmost to manage on what he has however if that isn't possible , I will transfer to his account on the clear understanding that it is returned when the loan comes in and it isn't a gift.

    I am not comfortable with him dipping in to his EF and wanted to find another way , as if he takes a 100 here and there for the sake of needing 30 then before he knows it there will be no EF.

    Making him sit down and do himself a budget will at least give him an understanding of how he manages the year and what he has available

    To be fair in 8 years of my kids going to the uni this is the first time i've ever been asked which it is quite surprising and hopefully his wages will come in and tide him over anyway !

    I guess my ramble is that I am trying to encourage good habits in to him instead of easy fixes as that fix will run out

    I approached Virgin Media yesterday as they have withdrawn all the UKTV channels so I see this as an oppurtunity to try and get a reduction on my bill whilst I am still in contract - they offered me 3 per month which I have told them to apply but also said it wasnt enough as i would now need to install an aerial to access my mums favorite channels and had i known i would not be getting these i would have done this in the first place and not paid them to install their virgin box etc. it has been escalated to a manager. I am aiming for a credit to cover the initial installation of the equipment which was 40 ( although I got this back by using Quidco)
    I've read some people are managing to leave the contract early but I don't really want to do this as the internet service is the best in the area
    • efes shareholder
    • By efes shareholder 3rd Aug 18, 9:32 AM
    • 332 Posts
    • 901 Thanks
    efes shareholder
    Not much to report - A night in with the cubs , looking for jobs with my daughter who has just graduated

    A little frustrating for both of us but hopefully something will come of it

    Day out tomorrow so this evening will be running around like a blue bummed fly and making sure there is plenty of oil and water in my car !
    • efes shareholder
    • By efes shareholder 3rd Aug 18, 9:45 AM
    • 332 Posts
    • 901 Thanks
    efes shareholder
    To add , today I feel like someone stole the jam out of my doughnut

    Thank god its Friday
    • Scott-Weiland
    • By Scott-Weiland 3rd Aug 18, 11:42 AM
    • 281 Posts
    • 598 Thanks
    Scott-Weiland
    You wait all month for a salary replenishment and when it arrives it vanishes so quickly !!

    Yesterday my son approached me to tell me he isn't sure he has enough money to see him through until his uni payment in September - he has an emergancy fund which came from a saving scheme since he was a baby and needed to dip in to this when he had to pay next years rent up front , but he knows he will be expected to return at least some of this when he is able too ( its a ball ache having to pay before the grants arrive as he is always chasing his tail)
    He also has a part time job for the summer but its at a local venue which is very much dependant on good weather so he can get rained off and as yet he hasn't had a pay day.
    Hes a bit like his mum and doesn't always manage his money well but this is the first time he has approach for general living - he wanted to take some cash from his EF but didn't want to approach his dad who is in control of this as he would get a rollicking

    I have told him , I need him to sit down and make a budget planner listing everything that is coming in and when and everything that is going out and when so that he can have a clear vision of his forthcoming expenditure and what funds he will available to him - He has a little weekend booked with his friends and this is what he is worried about , that he doesn't have enough funds.
    Having spoken to him , I asked him how much he had and couldn't see why he was concerned as it sounded more then enough , I think he just wanted the buffer.

    We have compromised that he doesn't touch his EF for the moment and he does his upmost to manage on what he has however if that isn't possible , I will transfer to his account on the clear understanding that it is returned when the loan comes in and it isn't a gift.

    I am not comfortable with him dipping in to his EF and wanted to find another way , as if he takes a 100 here and there for the sake of needing 30 then before he knows it there will be no EF.

    Making him sit down and do himself a budget will at least give him an understanding of how he manages the year and what he has available

    To be fair in 8 years of my kids going to the uni this is the first time i've ever been asked which it is quite surprising and hopefully his wages will come in and tide him over anyway !

    I guess my ramble is that I am trying to encourage good habits in to him instead of easy fixes as that fix will run out

    I approached Virgin Media yesterday as they have withdrawn all the UKTV channels so I see this as an oppurtunity to try and get a reduction on my bill whilst I am still in contract - they offered me 3 per month which I have told them to apply but also said it wasnt enough as i would now need to install an aerial to access my mums favorite channels and had i known i would not be getting these i would have done this in the first place and not paid them to install their virgin box etc. it has been escalated to a manager. I am aiming for a credit to cover the initial installation of the equipment which was 40 ( although I got this back by using Quidco)
    I've read some people are managing to leave the contract early but I don't really want to do this as the internet service is the best in the area
    Originally posted by efes shareholder
    Have you had a look at a now tv box you maybe able to access the content there. I will have a look later for you to see if i can access uktv on there.
    Cashback Earnings Ish YTD 73.92 Survey Earnings YTD Ish 484.34
    "We are what we repeatedly do. Excellence then, is not an act, but a habit."
    • efes shareholder
    • By efes shareholder 3rd Aug 18, 12:01 PM
    • 332 Posts
    • 901 Thanks
    efes shareholder
    Have you had a look at a now tv box you maybe able to access the content there. I will have a look later for you to see if i can access uktv on there.
    Originally posted by Scott-Weiland
    Good Call , thank you Scott
    I do have a box at home laying dormant , I didn't find it very user friendly but this is something I can re visit
    • ftbwannabe
    • By ftbwannabe 3rd Aug 18, 12:02 PM
    • 184 Posts
    • 622 Thanks
    ftbwannabe
    Wow, I can't believe directory enquiries is so expensive! Ouch.
    Thanks for the updates. Keep going! And I hope your son finds the budget useful & manages not to wax all his cash on a mates weeknd (the way I always did...I think I'm still paying for some nights out in the 90s)
    I have somehow started smoking again too, I can't believe it. I'm gong to take your non-smoking date too - Monday 8th it is. I still have some nicotine gum from the last time I slipped, I find it does help reduce my murderous feelings. Not as fun as going for a smoke, but way better for us + cheaper.
    Hope you have a lovely weekend
    saving for house-buying costs 1475
    emergency fund 150//1330
    debts 1229.6/17,483 | Outstanding Debt: 16,253.40
    • efes shareholder
    • By efes shareholder 3rd Aug 18, 12:41 PM
    • 332 Posts
    • 901 Thanks
    efes shareholder
    Wow, I can't believe directory enquiries is so expensive! Ouch.
    Thanks for the updates. Keep going! And I hope your son finds the budget useful & manages not to wax all his cash on a mates weeknd (the way I always did...I think I'm still paying for some nights out in the 90s)
    I have somehow started smoking again too, I can't believe it. I'm gong to take your non-smoking date too - Monday 8th it is. I still have some nicotine gum from the last time I slipped, I find it does help reduce my murderous feelings. Not as fun as going for a smoke, but way better for us + cheaper.
    Hope you have a lovely weekend
    Originally posted by ftbwannabe
    It will be great to have a companion on board on Monday 6th ......the 8th is weds and my eldest birthday.
    I have my aspire vape which i was getting on great with until "life happened" and also a box of patches and my willpower
    I look at my bank statement and see 8 after 8 going out of the account and then curse myself as I could be doing something much more beneficial with the money
    I don't really want to replace one habit with another but I'm not winning the battle so will take whatever measures I need to get rid of the evil weed.
    Welcome aboard the non smoking mission - we can do this x
    • ftbwannabe
    • By ftbwannabe 3rd Aug 18, 12:50 PM
    • 184 Posts
    • 622 Thanks
    ftbwannabe
    Ha, there's me wishing my life away with the wrong dates. (Hope your eldest has a great birthday btw!)
    BF is talking about getting a vape, too. I can usually manage cold turkey as long as I get a few days clear to suffer withdrawals in & some gum for when I'm going to struggle. Key is chewing it before I get too strung out, not waiting til then. Fingers crossed it'll work that way again next week, then I just need to never ever say 'just 1' again.
    I had forgotten I have that meerkat 241 cinema offer too, that's good to remember! Our nearest Odeon is nowhere near as nice as that Luxe one sounds, though.
    saving for house-buying costs 1475
    emergency fund 150//1330
    debts 1229.6/17,483 | Outstanding Debt: 16,253.40
    • Scott-Weiland
    • By Scott-Weiland 3rd Aug 18, 12:58 PM
    • 281 Posts
    • 598 Thanks
    Scott-Weiland
    Haha i hope the no smoking mission works, you can do it Efes i have being vaping 3 months now i have had 1 or 2 slips but i feel so much better for it and so does my bank balance. I also take lozenges bought from poundland to help with at work when its really stressful.
    Cashback Earnings Ish YTD 73.92 Survey Earnings YTD Ish 484.34
    "We are what we repeatedly do. Excellence then, is not an act, but a habit."
    • efes shareholder
    • By efes shareholder 3rd Aug 18, 1:10 PM
    • 332 Posts
    • 901 Thanks
    efes shareholder
    Then Climb aboard the non smoking bus Scott , more the merrier
    I mentioned early in my diary I gave up for 10 years and off all the choices I have made in life , given the chance this is the one I would choose to change in a heartbeat - Stupidly I thought I could just have the odd one when times were stressful.
    In all honesty , it stayed stressful but with an expensive habit in tow

    I will keep a look out for the lozenges , anything that will help - I really don't want to put on weight in the crusade , a couple of pounds is fine but no going up a clothes size

    Shall we all convince ourselves that if we ever purse our lips around another nicotine stick then we vanish in a poof of smoke never to be seen again , game over ?

    FTW - cinema is so expensive , we only go meerkat days , i think the odeon are going to roll the luxe out across the board - if you get the chance , experience it , its great x
    • efes shareholder
    • By efes shareholder 6th Aug 18, 9:00 AM
    • 332 Posts
    • 901 Thanks
    efes shareholder
    So today is the day that the dreaded weed will be no more - I have a handful of nicotine sticks left and have the vape charged and the patches to hand - My spends are going to decrease significantly as I won't be popping in to the shop each day. I have also told the mothership that I won't be popping in to the shop for her every day either.
    She chain smokes , she will admit to 20 a day but its closer to 30 and having no car , will regularly message me to pick her more ciggerettes up and then be a bit peeved if I haven't seen the message - THERE IS NOTHING TO STOP HER MAKING THE SHORT WALK TO THE SHOP HERSELF and in my own mindset , I can not allow myself to make a purchase from the behind the till cabinet whether it be funded by myself or not !!

    On the subject of the mothership , I am finding it really difficult at the moment living at home - she is off a different standard to me when it comes to housework and the overall environment and thinks the house is "lived in" rather then messy - I have had to chuck this in the bucket for my own sanity and as long as my own room is how i like it there isn't much I can do !! HOWEVER the thing that is annoying me and whether I am right to get annoyed I can't decide is I can't leave any goodies for when I fancy them in the fridge without her helping her herself. I will put a bit of chocolate in the fridge and if I haven't eaten it within a day or so she seems to think its fare game to help herself and will tell me " well you weren't eating it"
    It's grating me , its rude ! Just ask ! there is nothing more irritating then thinking you have a bottle of wine or a little bit of chocolate in the fridge for the evening when you get home from work to find that some greedy so and so has got there first !!!
    I do think there could be some stern words when I get home from work later.

    In other news , a nice day out at the coast with my best mate on saturday - I did the motoring and she bought my dinner in exchange , spent a little but less then had budgeted and came home slightly sunblessed and shattered
    Yesterday , no spends which is great and not anticipating any today
    All the direct debits have been and gone and I am tentatively expecting a surplus balance in my account at the end of the month
    • NelliePie
    • By NelliePie 6th Aug 18, 9:41 AM
    • 256 Posts
    • 549 Thanks
    NelliePie
    Well done with taking the first steps in quitting again - its a common theme through these DFW diaries that when people look at what needs 'tidying up ' in their finances, they take a look at other areas of their life that need 'tidying up' too. Make the most of this new motivation! Have you thought of saving each of those 8 that you would have spent in a separate pot, for either a treat at the end of the month or to make a contribution to a debt or stick it in a house fund for when you're ready to move out - seeing something useful/fun come out of the money may keep you focused because you know the difference it can make. Even if you're only saving 8 per week that's 416 per year.

    Conversations may need to be had with your mother regarding the cleanliness but also try to remember it's her house too so she may not respond in the way you'd like. With regards to the fridge - can you suggest having your own shelf and anything that's on that shelf is specific for you and not fair game? Or so what my mam did when we were kids, she (like me) likes her chocolates really cold so used to hide them in the freezer in an empty bag of broccoli - we didn't go looking in there!

    You're doing really well, once the novelty of the newness has worn off it will start to get harder as it becomes less exciting but try to stay motivated by seeing those numbers go down and it'll soon become second nature so you won't even think about it. Look back at where you started and see how far you've come already! Keep going
    Little One's due date 18/12/18
    5/5/18 I became Mrs Pie
    FTB June '17 - 144k motrgage
    • efes shareholder
    • By efes shareholder 6th Aug 18, 10:25 AM
    • 332 Posts
    • 901 Thanks
    efes shareholder
    I'm very mindful of its her house and its cheaper for me to be there then elsewhere however sometimes I think she forgets that I live there too - she obviously is very set in her ways and I need to fit in to how she does things - Its myself and my sister who do a big clean up for her every few weeks but it becomes disheartening when you walk in the next day and it looks like its been burgarled. I also pay her quite well for my boardings , my rent amounts up to what some people in the north pay for a 2 bedroom house !
    Its just blooming annoying that you keep something aside for when you fancy it and then she decides to fancy it in the meantime and completely disregard that it isn't hers !!!!! I am going to be cross about it when I get home overwise it will go in one ear and out the other as it isn't the first occassion
    Offering to replace it is obviously the correction however that does mean I will have to go and purchase it - the reason its there is to save me having too !!!!!
    I will keep my eye out on ebay etc for a fridge for my room which has a lock on the door !!

    Thanks Nellie for the reminder - some days it seems like I am getting nowhere and not making any real in roads however when I get like this , I go back over my bank account to this time last year .........wading deep in to my 2k overdraft that i now maybe dip my toe in come the end of the month , 4700 on my credit card , 1200 on my very account and 3 defaulted accounts on my credit report and then I know I am making progress
    It took a little bit of a helping hand with the money from the ex however the corner has been turned
    I haven't purchased using the credit card for 6 months ( with the exception of car hire for obvious reasons ) , my very account is down to 250 which is all BNPL with a payment plan in place by me so that I don't incur their ludicrous interest , the defaults are now all settled and the credit card reduced to 3.5k which is now all on 0%
    This time last year I would tap my card and hope that the bank would say yes and just accept that my salary would go in and the overdraft would start again
    I'm also giving a lot of consideration to my social life and not accepting every invent - at one time it felt like I would go to the opening of an envelope - Next month a few of my friends are off to a weekender and I know I'll be envious when I see their fun on social media however there are other things I would rather do and just have to wait for.
    I can't do everything
    • ftbwannabe
    • By ftbwannabe 6th Aug 18, 11:10 AM
    • 184 Posts
    • 622 Thanks
    ftbwannabe
    Good luck with no smoking! I didn't have any at the weekend but it's the week, at work, where I tend to slip. We can do this, we've done it before.
    It won't work for wine, but would she be deterred if you had a tupperware in the fridge that was just yours? One with like, 100 elastic bands round the outside & 2 squares of Dairy Milk inside? Maybe a label on the outside saying 'Broccoli' ;-)
    saving for house-buying costs 1475
    emergency fund 150//1330
    debts 1229.6/17,483 | Outstanding Debt: 16,253.40
    • efes shareholder
    • By efes shareholder 6th Aug 18, 11:21 AM
    • 332 Posts
    • 901 Thanks
    efes shareholder
    Thanks FTW - I can't let it beat me and I look forward to not been ruled by my need to smoke and smelling like an old ashtray
    it really is the most disgusting habit - I don't want my kids to nurse me through some smoking related illness in years to come so its for everyones benefit

    I'm loathe to have to hide things to make sure they are still there , these things may be minimal value and it may be petty but I just find it incredibly selfish and poor mannered to help yourself to something just because it takes your fancy
    • efes shareholder
    • By efes shareholder 6th Aug 18, 11:52 AM
    • 332 Posts
    • 901 Thanks
    efes shareholder
    I was hoping today would be a NSD however when i did my tyre pressures on saturday I noticed I was missing a dust cap.

    Ordered a new set from ebay with a mini logo for 2.95 , my car is old and a proper workhorse but I love her dearly and do like her to look the part
    No expense spared
    I'm hoping if I look after her she will reward me by running forever
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