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    • efes shareholder
    • By efes shareholder 3rd May 18, 10:55 AM
    • 366Posts
    • 990Thanks
    efes shareholder
    taking responsibilty to get me where I want to be
    • #1
    • 3rd May 18, 10:55 AM
    taking responsibilty to get me where I want to be 3rd May 18 at 10:55 AM
    Good morning MSE'ers
    I have been reading diaries for the last few months and have found peoples stories so inspiring that I am hoping for some company on my own journey , this will be my own log which hopefully will motivate me at times of bleakness so I can look back on any progress I have made
    My sitituation is quite unique , My long term relationship broke down 7 years ago and i spent the next 6 renting on the private market and looking after my 3 kids on just the one income.
    This , ultimately led to lots of juggling , credit facilities being utilised and to be accountable for myself poor choices.
    I'm now hoping I can turn this round - my credit file is rated as poor however I a share of the property purchased as the family home ( my children now all over 18 reside there when they are not at uni) and one day this will be sold and i need to be in a position to reinvest this money and acquire a property of my own
    I recently received a part payment of the equity ( around 5%) and have used this to take responsibilty for my historic debts and settle the accounts on my file which show in default
    This was as follows
    899.52 - Argos store card
    1799 - M&S Credit card ( passed to Lowell)
    I also paid my overdraft off to the tune of 1500 and a 1000 from my credit card
    I have around 3554 remaining on my credit card ( which i have stopped using) and also 880 on Very ( approx 450 on 0%)

    I have placed around 5000 in to my esavers account and i would like to build this , I would like to tackle my remaining debts without dipping in to this as its my safety net should I ever need legal action to get my share of the house once the kids are more established

    Historically I have lived for the moment and as long as the cash machine continued to distribute then I would continue to withdraw , I've enjoyed trips away that I knew I couldn't afford but I looked upon life as when we leave , we are only taking our memories so it is best to make some whilst our health allows

    At the grand age of 45 , having spent my years from 18 parenting I want to start fulfilling my bucket list however I need to do this without over committing myself !!!

    This is my introduction , I will hopefully post an SOA at some point later today

    Thank you all for reading
    Last edited by efes shareholder; 03-05-2018 at 10:58 AM. Reason: ommited info
Page 2
    • efes shareholder
    • By efes shareholder 14th May 18, 8:29 AM
    • 366 Posts
    • 990 Thanks
    efes shareholder
    Good Morning MSE'ers and "Happy" Monday

    I was hoping to keep my spending down this weekend , It was kind of successful !
    Socially its been quiet however Saturday I took my car for a clean as it had been covered in SAP from trees from the heat and storm that follows , so much so the mechanism of the window wouldn't operate - I like to do this monthly as the car is white and it gets dirty easy and I think its important to keep your car as nice as you can. If I look after it , hopefully it will look after me ! 15.00 for a full going over

    Whilst the car was being cleaned I walked to the vape shop - its something i have tried before but on a budget end and seems to work for so many people who are trying to ditch the weed however they seem to have a decent vape and not one of those pencil cheapies , so i went in , took some advice and purchase a vape which i can operate easy and a few pots of liquid.
    This set me back 35.00 but that is the price of four packets of cigs ( 5 days worth ) and as long as i stay focused will pay for itself over time - Friends of mine have said it is the initial kit lay out that cost the money
    I have been using it for 2 days and it takes some getting to grips with but I am optomistic it will help me shift this dreadful habit.

    I then had a sunbed which I need to keep my eczema at bay , it really does stop the itching and the general angry redness in my face. 10 minutes came in at 6 but its important i do this at least once a week

    Yesterday I took my young relative to the football - last day of the season and something he loves to do , it also makes me happy to see him enjoying something that i have a passion for myself. He is free on the train and I don't pay for his ticket , but a little lunch stop pre match and again after was around the 30 mark
    Still we don't go often and we can't again until August and it was a great game so it was worth it

    I need to pull the strings in though until payday - I have a trip to see my Son at uni next week for an event that he is involved in , I could do without another tank of petrol this month however he really wants me to go and i will feel like a bad parent if I don't
  • archived user
    Happy Monday and good luck with quitting ciggies. Not easy....but So worth it!!!
    • efes shareholder
    • By efes shareholder 15th May 18, 8:19 AM
    • 366 Posts
    • 990 Thanks
    efes shareholder
    I gave up from 2004 to 2014 - Off all the choices I could change in my life , this is the one I would do in a heartbeat if I could

    I've managed a few months at a time but its been much harder then I ever remember

    I didn't want to vape however it seems to work for so many and nothing is working for me so lets see how we go x

    smoking is expensive , it smells and is very selfish - I do not want my kids nursing me through a smoking related illness in their latter years
    • efes shareholder
    • By efes shareholder 15th May 18, 12:13 PM
    • 366 Posts
    • 990 Thanks
    efes shareholder
    so i checked my online bank and yesterday was my first NSD

    i have 165 to last me 16 days until payday - technically its do able although I will need 40 at the weekend for a trip to my youngest at uni.

    I take lunch from home and if I don't smoke I'm sure I can just scrape through

    I work my budget out @ 7.81 per day after accounting for the fuel for my road trip

    I do wish there wasnt a bank holiday however !!
    • efes shareholder
    • By efes shareholder 16th May 18, 9:40 AM
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    • 990 Thanks
    efes shareholder
    Today I feel like poo ! i have woken up with a congested head and sore throat , I am not sure whether I have the start of a cold or hay fever but my medicine supplies in my drawer at work are bare ! Typical !

    Only planned spend today is 6 for my sunbed
    It will be worth it come June when I have a week in greece , not only will the sea water help my skin , the sunbeds which alleviate my exczema make a lovely base to get a golden tan.

    My car is on the red again but I have enough to get home and will refill in the morning , hopefully I will get a week out of the tank even with a 200 mile round trip on saturday
    Has anyone else noticed that petrol costs appear to have risen again ?
    • efes shareholder
    • By efes shareholder 16th May 18, 11:33 AM
    • 366 Posts
    • 990 Thanks
    efes shareholder
    I have just successfully obtained a capital one card on a 6 months balance transfer , it only has a credit limit of 750 and has a ridiculous APR once the period expires however I can move some of the 3600 currently on my bank issued card over and save a little interest
    Potentially I could do this with a couple of cards however I think i will wait for each 0% to expire before moving any balance or i will get myself in a pickle with expiry dates and min payments

    Obviously I shall NOT be using the card for anything other then the 0%
    • efes shareholder
    • By efes shareholder 17th May 18, 8:51 AM
    • 366 Posts
    • 990 Thanks
    efes shareholder
    So today I have spent 43.70 , I refuelled the car ( seem to do this alot ! ) and also bought engine oil as it was on half price ( ending tomorrow)
    I have never owned a car which drinks as much oil as mine ! In fact I never used to have to check it on previous cars however I check my car at least once a month religiously and the oil will always be near the minimum.
    I have pinched an idea I have seen on other diaries and am transferring any odd pence amounts across to my credit card so that my current account balance is always rounded to the 1.00 , these may not be big contributions to the debt but every little helps !
    • efes shareholder
    • By efes shareholder 18th May 18, 8:43 AM
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    • 990 Thanks
    efes shareholder
    Today I am not in a great place personally

    I have been seeing a guy on and off for two years - some times things are better then others and we have had plenty of drama in this period ( his doing I may add not mine ! )
    I feel like emotionally I am checking out and the only thing that is keeping me in there are our holiday commitments - we have one coming up and i'm struggling to keep my shizz together and not just walk away.
    I feel a bit trapped as the commitments all involve going away with other people , from both sets of our friends and not going will inevitably let people down that I care very much about.

    Time and time again he shows he has a lack of respect for how I feel and time and time again I allow him to do so - I tell him things are done and that will follow with apologies , promises to be change and be considerate blah blah blah but a few months later we slip back to where things were

    Things are very different on the "single" scene to how they were before I met my ex and people seem to date a few before they pick the "one" , when we first met there was also another women on the scene which he didn't make me aware off , inevitably the truth always comes out and said there would be no contact ! The long and short of it , is he lies !!!

    I'm fed up with it and it isn't going to change but I want my holiday !!!!
    • efes shareholder
    • By efes shareholder 18th May 18, 10:57 AM
    • 366 Posts
    • 990 Thanks
    efes shareholder
    perhaps i asked the wrong forum
    • efes shareholder
    • By efes shareholder 21st May 18, 9:39 AM
    • 366 Posts
    • 990 Thanks
    efes shareholder
    so the weekend was as i thought a destruction of my remaining balance
    A top up to the fuel in the car , something to eat when i arrived at the university ( only the savers from the yellow arches ) and my entrance to the show I had travelled to see ....................

    It was such a glorious day yesterday that it was only right to have wine in the garden ..................my remaining balance is now 25.83 until the 31st May , so 2.58 a day !

    My youngest owes me 23 for her phone contract so i will have to give them a gentle reminder about sorting that out soon

    I have nothing in the calender that will cost , however I do have a haircut ( 20) and will need fuel again ( probably around 30) and my sunbeds for my pre hol prep ( 6 for 10 minutes) so although i have been trying to avoid it , potentially I may slide in to the overdraft facililty

    I really hoped I could avoid that this month however last month ended 250.00 overdrawn so if i am in by 20.00 thats an improvement right ??

    I looked back on my monthly bank balance over the weekend and this time last year , at this precise moment I was 1400 overdrawn !!!
    so yes I guess I have improved my finances more then i thought !
    • efes shareholder
    • By efes shareholder 22nd May 18, 10:08 AM
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    • 990 Thanks
    efes shareholder
    oh its going to be squeaky bum week until pay day ! I've looked back on the month wondering where all my wage has gone however I have had quite a busy month with events ( girls weekend / trip to football / uni visits ) also had a replacement windscreen and tyre needed on the car

    On the plus side , my cig spends have now stopped and this expenditure has been reduced this month with the switch to the vape

    i don't like where the spends catch up with the bank and the purchases of past days come out , even know you know they are there , they seem bigger once they have been withdrawn then when they are sitting at authorised

    June is going to be an expensive month as i have car insurance and a holiday to fund however I have done a quick expeniditure forecast and as its not such a long month I think I may just make it through without acquiring any debt on cards or overdraft , dipping in to savings and i will still be able to make overpayments to my credit card and Very
    the credit card is currently sitting at 3600 with 750.00 due to go over to 0% for 6 months
    If the above is acheived I will put this down to a WIN in my favour

    I think next month I am going to operate a cash system for my spends - If I withdraw in cash what I have made available to myself , I am much more likely I think to stick to it

    I may also allocate a brown enevelope for Fuel as I need to be more affective with my journeys etc
    • efes shareholder
    • By efes shareholder 23rd May 18, 9:06 AM
    • 366 Posts
    • 990 Thanks
    efes shareholder
    Good morning and here is todays posts , before I share and update , it seems strange posting your inner thoughts which are being seen by lots of people from all walks of life , some you may have even crossed paths with , sometimes I feel like I am twittering away to myself and wonder whether I have an audience at all.

    It looks inevitable that i will fall in to the overdraft this month , i would have liked to avoid it however it has been a busy month and start of an exceptionally busy period for me , as long as its below 250 ( which I would be mortified at !! ) then there are no charges from my bank

    I have a plan for June - I will take my holiday spends and my car insurance from my salary and see how the month goes - this will be around 700 and pretty much take out my available resource

    if i'm out of the country I am not spending here , putting fuel in the car and taking sunbeds !!
    Hopefully with some sensibility I can absorb these without the overdraft or my savings however they are there as a back up should I need to recoup some of the cost , Ideally however I want to mantain my back up funds so careful planning should see me through

    My capital one balance transfer will take care of junes min payment on the nationwide card and when i am back from my holiday I will look at making a payment from my salary - hopefully the usual contribution that I have made , plus I have been making small pence payments to round my bank account down which every little helps

    Very is now BNPL only so I assume there will be a min payment and I have 89 which has to be paid by 3/8 so I will select one of the items from here to pay

    i am actually in a position now where i consider my payments and try to plan and i can't remember any time in the last 6 - 8 years when I didnt just pretty much wing it and hope the hole in the wall continued to distribute.
    I am ashamed to say , I prefered not to look at my account , statements would go in the bin unopened.

    Although I am not quite where I want to be , I feel much more in control and am also considering my spends and budget far more then I ever have

    From next month there will be no monthly direct debit for car insurance and come July I can switch my mobile phone to Sim only which will save 28 a month which i can set aside for next years car insurance

    I am waiting for my account info for an old premuim bond account to come back from NS&I and then I shall be putting my savings in to bonds and starting a direct debit monthly to add to them each month
    • efes shareholder
    • By efes shareholder 24th May 18, 9:49 AM
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    efes shareholder
    oh I could explode

    The frustration of being involved with a man that you are now under no doubt is a wrong un but having to keep your counsel until your holiday alongside friends is over ..................
    10 days until we fly , one week away and then I can walk away and not look back
    • efes shareholder
    • By efes shareholder 24th May 18, 12:14 PM
    • 366 Posts
    • 990 Thanks
    efes shareholder
    In money news , my savings are now in prem bonds - fingers crossed they will accumulate some "wins"
    I intend to set up a standing order in July where I add to them each month.
    The excitement of the drawer and the fact that I have to cash in to access the money spurs me on

    I have also transferred 600 on to a capital one 0% fee card for 6 months , my 17.9% APR card is now sitting at 2980.01
    I've reduced this from 4650 since March

    Although the 600 is just a transfer , any saving on the interest is in my favour

    It seems this is going to take some time though to feel like I am "winning" the battle
    • efes shareholder
    • By efes shareholder 25th May 18, 9:07 AM
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    • 990 Thanks
    efes shareholder
    So I've looked through my spends for the month - its quite concerning that my fuel costs have been over 220 and another top up will soon be needed - I wouldnt mind if I had my foot on the gas constantly !
    When I tot up the cracked windscreen repair , a new tyre , insurance , road tax and fuel , my car has accounted for over 400 of my salary
    A massive quarter !!!!
    I did take a 250 mile round trip to the university and 200 mile round trip to my girls weekend but even so , the cost of freedom and mobility hurts !
    I am thankful , my car is purchased outright and I don't also have any monthly payments for this ( although I would at some point , love an upgrade - ITS NOT NEEDED )

    6 more days to pay day - I really wish that I worked somewhere where pay was the last friday of the month and not the last working day , June looks shorter though so thats something to be thankful for

    I hate this point in the month , all payments are made and there can be no further changes until the next pay check
    • efes shareholder
    • By efes shareholder 29th May 18, 9:43 AM
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    • 990 Thanks
    efes shareholder
    A long weekend and a bit of caution to the wind with the spends and here we are sitting in the overdraft , willing the next 2 days to pass ASAP

    I had a lovely weekend , went for drinks with an old friend on Friday ( 13.00 spend) , holiday shopping on saturday ( too much , this is my penance for taking eye of the ball ) , treat to a sauna , Jacuzzi , steam room and overnight away on sunday - went to the local harvester and thought it only right that i offered to pay for dinner 30 which kind of defeated being "treat" but it was morally the right thing to do

    The final few days before pay day seem to be the worse for me - i will have very little left and seem to forget that and spend thinking "ah well I get paid in a few days"

    June is an expensive month but I am determined that I will get to the end without entering the overdraft - the fact that it is a 4 week month and not a five gives me an advantage straight away
  • archived user
    Just waving hello. Don't know where I have been for the last month!
    Fuel has definitely crept up LOADS - such a pain.

    Sounds like money is all going in the right direction - and well done for how much you have reduced so far!! Always worth reflecting on this as it is bl*ody hard work!

    Sounds like you have a plan on the man front too - look after yourself xxx
    • efes shareholder
    • By efes shareholder 30th May 18, 8:42 AM
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    • 990 Thanks
    efes shareholder
    The man front or rather the plan has hit a massive bump !

    We are due to go on holiday on Sunday , along with our friends - its a niche scene ( don't worry im not a swinger ) so lots and lots of established friendship groups all going to the same place with events organised.

    I have been sitting on my feelings towards him and certain things that he has been doing that cross the line and are not respectful to your partner of 2 years with the intention of walking when I get home

    Until life happens ! Basically hes cheated in the past and I have discovered this , like the silly women I am I have agreed to put it in the past and move on however any contact with the "side" has to stop ! ( women actually lied to me and told me they were just friends - honestly some women do not know the code and will do anything to ensure they still get their quota ! )

    This morning , randomly a call and text are on his phone to said women so I have left his house and gone home !

    I am done , however we have a holiday in 4 days which i have been looking forward to forever and all of my closest party friends are going on

    Myself and now Ex OH have not spoken so god knows what will happen !

    He will tell me they haven't been in contact and it was a random call just to see how each other was etc etc however the fact is I DO NOT CARE WHY , the boundary was set , there was no confusion and I know its not a one off but as I said before was getting my holiday out of the way
    • efes shareholder
    • By efes shareholder 30th May 18, 8:44 AM
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    efes shareholder
    1) he goes , I dont
    2) I go , he doesnt
    3 ) neither of us go
    4) we go , act like everythings fine and go our own ways when we get home
    5) we go , let everyone know its done and enjoy ourselves and act like grown ups
    6 ) I pretend i am accepting of him and go and then be on my toes when i get home
    • efes shareholder
    • By efes shareholder 30th May 18, 9:07 AM
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    • 990 Thanks
    efes shareholder
    I hate that people have the power to affect your happiness and we let them !!!

    I am so done , but so frustrated - I feel like doing something reckless like booking myself to the carribean for a week !!
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